Can't get erect after being penetrated

streetdoc

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I'm having a problem right now and want to know if any of the other guys here can give me any insight. My bf's pretty hung. He's 8.5 x 5. He and I have been seeing each other for about two months. He doesn't like being fucked and I love it, so we most always end up with him fucking me. I'm experiencing a problem that I've never had before. I am usually rock hard whenever he first penetrates me. But almost immediately after he has his cock fully inside me and begins to fuck me, I begin to lose my erection. It never gets completely flaccid, but it's definitely not hard either. I would love to be able to maintain my erection so that I can masturbate myself while he's fucking me. The sex is intense and I really get off on the way he fucks me. But I'd love to be able to stay hard so that we could cum together. I'm really not able to acheive an erection for some time after he's been inside me. So far we've managed this by making sure I get there first. But I have a problem with that because it lessens the intensity of what I feel when he's pounding my ass. Anyone else have this problem?
 

BBTM

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Dunno what to tell you? I know I don't have a problem staying hard when something is in my ass. Has this happened with anyone else or just him? Could it be his size?
 

streetdoc

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I don't know if his size is the culprit or if there's something going on with me. The guy I was playing with before him was very similar in size. However it was rare for him to fuck me. I was almost exclusively the top in that relationship. But when he did get the itch I always stayed hard as a rock all the way through. The only significant difference in this relationship is 1) the role reversal and 2) this guy likes to fuck much harder and faster. I dunno either. May just be me adjusting to the reversed role.
Btw..this was probably the wrong forum for this particular thread. Sorry bout that guys.
 

askmenow

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generally when i go soft while getting fucked, its because my attention is all focused on my arse and the shear pleasure its receiving ......it always goes up again after...lol
 

Industrialsize

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generally when i go soft while getting fucked, its because my attention is all focused on my arse and the shear pleasure its receiving ......it always goes up again after...lol
yup........I think some guys are just wired differently.......notice in gay porn.......some bottoms are rock hard while getting fucked.......others are as soft as can be........just because the guy who is getting fucked has a soft dick doesn't mean he is not enjoying himself
 

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yeah iv noticed in a few porno's that some guys just dont stay hard while being fucked? but if you day that you have done in the past it might have something to do with him? after all every cock is different and just because it was a similar size to your ex doesnt mean that it will be the same/feel the same as him. or maybe its you, maybe you feel differently about him? it could be a lot of things really but you just never know, i think its just one of those things unless its really starts to become a problem for you?
 

Luke2202

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I have the same problem- my bf is 9 1/2 x 6.

I enjoy it very much but am not hard while he pounds me.

I used to be afraid of the size and was just concentrating on getting it inside me. I think that I'm still a bit afraid of it and haven't been able to get pleasure out of both sides at the same time.
 

Cockmo

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Is his cock curved differently than your previous BF? Perhaps trying different positions will help to stimulate your prostrate better. I hear that upcurves work best from the front; downcurves work best form the back.
I am upcurved and stay hard when I am being fucked. My friend on here has fucked guys and they go soft but still enjoy. He has one guy tell him that he can't concentrate on two things at the same time and I really think that is the heart of the matter with some guys - one thing at a time.

You know the dick is a strange animal. If you decide that you are not going to cum unless it is while you are getting fucked....AND STICK TO IT.... soon your system will realize this and you will stay hard while you are getting fucked and you will cum while getting fucked!! This takes time and understanding
 

shinato

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it's a little hard to focus on doing two things at once. I.E. getting fucked and getting off. especially if the sex is intense then you'll be more prone to focus on your butt getting jackhammered rather than your dick getting jacked. i actually saw a column from a gay sex columnist about this very same thing. he said that the majority of bottoms usually don't stay hard during sex as the concentrate more on getting fucked and alot of the porn bottoms that stay hard during the act are using enhancers (viagra) so they can give a good show.
 

fun30013

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One word PROSTATE!

Hit that and you will be hard. Some postions don't work as well as others. Positions have to change based on the curve of the tops penis. So I would say, mix it up and see what feels good to you and moreover hits the spot. Good luck buddy!
 

dinojr

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it is weird because i have the same problem usually
I always thought that if massage the prostate right u lose some of your stiffness due to the stimulation on your prostate feels so good.
I can cum with a semi with a cock or finger in my ass
 

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I love fucking myself with big didlos and I never can maintain an erection. I love the feeling. My prostate gets stimulated and I have pleasureable contractions where I ooze white semen like fluids. I can moan and groan and say OMG's because the pleasure is so great and all the while my dick is soft. Multiple pleasure plateaus until I am just so physically spent I need to stop.

Maybe stop worrying about the pleasure coming from your cock and focus on the stimulation in your ass and prostate. It may open up a whole new world of physical pleasure. It has for me!
 

KIKEMAN29

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I love fucking myself with big didlos and I never can maintain an erection. I love the feeling. My prostate gets stimulated and I have pleasureable contractions where I ooze white semen like fluids. I can moan and groan and say OMG's because the pleasure is so great and all the while my dick is soft. Multiple pleasure plateaus until I am just so physically spent I need to stop.

Maybe stop worrying about the pleasure coming from your cock and focus on the stimulation in your ass and prostate. It may open up a whole new world of physical pleasure. It has for me!


Me too think it's all a matter of concentration, sometimes I stay hard and some others I go soft but still enjoy and get all pleasure . All I can say is, enjoy and maybe make him go more gentle with you.
 

milkyca

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I can never stay hard if I'm being penetrated. The sensation is simply something I've never been able to associate with as erection-inducing.
 

Helboy

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I can honestly say that I have no probs staying hard when being fucked

My only worry/concern is cumming 2 soon !:wink:
 

streetdoc

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Actually yes, when he is at his most excited, there is a very prominent curve downward and to the left. I'm really beginning to think that I may be doing what one post suggested. since I am adjusting to being the catcher instead of the pitcher (actually...in this instance I'm thinking "wide receiver" may be more appropriate. :biggrin1:) I think I may be focusing on just getting him in. So I may not be fully relaxing. Our favorite position is me prone with my ass lifted slightly. This seems to be a position that allows him to go the deepest and I get quiite a lot of prostate stimulation out of it as well. At any rate...thank you for your responses. There's a lot of good food for thought in them!