cant get fully hard with others

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by PowayWolfman, Dec 23, 2011.

  1. PowayWolfman

    PowayWolfman Well-Known Member

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    Ok, so.. Had a bf, got dumped, got back together, shit happen, had to say goodbye, he's now happy with a new bf. and I'm not doing so well a year later. Trying to get back out there, and..well. i just cant seem to get fully hard. Recently a Friend Finally got brave enough to "play" some, and i was thinking i was gunna get hard, then out of nervousness he made a comment that just sent my mind tailspinning away.

    My ego is just shot to all hell, i know I'm depressed, but I'm also still horny and just want to have a good time under the sheets with someone again.

    I have a friend visiting from out of state in a few weeks and i know he wants to play some, hes made some comments about it and i dont want to disappoint him by turning him away. an i would really like to give him that night too.

    Im sure my reasons seem odd to some of you but i just want to be with someone, even for just a night and know we both had a good time and got what we needed.

    I wanna try Viagra, but dont want to spend money on a dr app or a full prescription I'm sure my insurance wouldn't cover anyway

    i know my biggest problem is mental.. i just need a little push/help to get me going and i would probably be fine. I tried viagra before that a co worker gave me .. worked DAMN well.

    anyone local who uses it, Note me. would like to talk.
     
  2. bradhardhairy

    bradhardhairy Active Member

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    Hey man. Sorry to hear you're struggling. I think you should just be honest with your friend. Say you wanna get naked and play, but that you might not get hard. Take some of the pressure off getting a boner. If you do that, and you don't get a boner it won't be such a big deal. It'll probably still feel good to roll around in the sheets with another naked dude. And... it's possible that it's all that pressure you're putting on yourself that's keeping you from getting hard in the first place, so if you relieve that pressure... *maybe* the problem will go away too.

    Good luck. Hang in there. Ex boyfriends are the worst. :)
     
  3. PowayWolfman

    PowayWolfman Well-Known Member

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    Yeah i tried to down play it with my bud.. but i sorta want this too for myself.. and naww. my Ex is a good guy and deserves to be happy.. it just,,,,,,didnt work for us.. i'm actually Glad he's happy now. He's gunna go places!.
     
  4. sykray

    sykray Active Member

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    As no doubt you are aware, depression, worry, anxiety, stress etc can all impair the ability to get a firm erection. The more you concern yourself about whether it will or won't the less likely you are to get a good erection.

    Just relax! No pressure, no expectations. Simply enjoy being with someone and being cherished and cared about. Give and receive affection and loving respect. If you get an erection then well and good but if not then it doesn't really matter.

    If you ever choose to go the medication route then use Cialis or Levitra. With either of these there is a long "window" of opportunity to make love/have sex (usually 24 - 48 hours) rather than taking a blue diamond 30-60 minutes before the likelihood of needing it.

    Rrrrrelaaaaaaaaaxx! Your erection will return.
     
  5. Kimahri

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    Hey dude.

    Had a similar situation going on. My ex devastated my world for the time I was with him. Getting erect for another guy seemed like it was never going to happen. I nearly turned away my new bf for fear of not being able to please him.

    The thing is, you need to find a buddy that's willing to help you get back on the horse. It takes time. All things mental do. Give you a chance to work things out. By all mean, feel the person out. You don't want to try giving your trust to some ass hat. If the opportunity presents itself, hit up a therapist. Don't have to go forever, just long enough to get the issue out in the open and start working on it.

    Give it time, bro. It will get better.
     
  6. erratic

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    ^^^ These guys all know what they're talking about. Taking ED medication would just be a band-aid over your real problem, which seems to be that your self-confidence took an understandable hit. Playing around with someone who is willing to help you back on the horse, as Kimahri put it, is probably the best medicine of all.
     
  7. vindicator

    vindicator Member

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    Wolfman, why would a super hot hung stud like you feel nervous in front of anybody? You really do have a great physique and a huge uncut cock and balls to match. Im sure any buds who want to play with you would have an amazing time.

    I have experienced the samething as you in the past though. In the hotest situations i found i couldnt get hard due to a mental block. I needed to get comfortable, not only with the other person but with my own issues that were causing the problem. The best advice i can give would be to take it slowly.If your bud is truely a bud, he will understand the situation.
     
  8. karldergrosse

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    Gee, PW, what to say? The cock/mind connection can be a funny (i.e., strange), fickle thing. Only you yourself can ultimately resolve your dilemma (and sooner or later, you can be sure, it will be resolved)--but let me take a shot at it too. First of all, I'd advise you to lay off of the artificial medications--you seem to be in good health, and your video shows that you have a fine, responsive cock which you obviously enjoy pounding. That indicates that you have no physiological problem, although you should consult a good urologist if you have any reason to suspect that you might possibly have. More likely, though, you have worked yourself up into a worried state of self-doubt because of the trauma of the break-up with your ex. The stress and pain of such grief can be a real sexual downer; possibly you have therefore subconsciously retreated from the physical/sexual into your uneasy mind. Whatever the reason, try to stop concerning yourself with whether you have or do not have an erection. Try to stop telling yourself (consciously or subconsciously) that you're having problems. A good way to do that, I believe, is to settle comfortably into the uninterrupted privacy of your bedroom with your computer (for pornography, of course), think yourself into a let-it-all-hang-out, obscenely sexy/sensual mood. Concentrate only on pleasing yourself in your favorite ways, edging and edging and edging and... Repeat: concentrate on nothing other than making yourself feel good sexually--no outside thoughts allowed. Then when you're ready, maybe a few such sessions later, start thiking about your friend who will be visiting, imagining him warm, willing, and naked beside you. He wants to enjoy you and you apparently want to enjoy him, to be close to him as another human being. When he arrives and the time is right, follow Sykray's advice (Link 4) and that of other posters: take it easy and relaxed, expecting nothing but the pleasure of intimate physical contact and the freedom to touch and feel and hug and caress and suck anything and everything, anywhere and everywhere, that pleases you. No pressure to "perform"--just concentration on the pleasure that both of you are having. --Betcha your difficulties melt away.

    After writing this, I feel that I've only said the obvious--but maybe a simple, obvious approach is just what you need...? Anyway, PLEASE REPORT ON THIS THREAD AFTER YOUR FRIEND HAS COME (CUM?) AND GONE. I'm sincerely concerned about your success, and I'm sure that the other posters are too. All best wishes, buddy! :)
     
    #8 karldergrosse, Dec 25, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2011
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