Can't keep it up? :-/
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KidBrown
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If there was a sure fire way to get rid of performance anxiety, the medication would sell for a hefty price !!!
Look, I'm pretty sure this has happened to most guys, I wouldn't worry about it. As much as people say that sex for guys is mostly physical, the mental part of it also comes into play. I've had the same problem myself, and trust me, it does become quite embarrassing. If this guy cares about you, he'll understand , trust me he will. It's all about the confort level. I've found that a massage or a lot of foreplay does wonders for this problem. Not to mention the fact that you're a virgin man. That alone could cause this problem, because you don't know what sex is like, the feelings involved, etc. Don't worry, keep your head up !!!!
Hell, I even resorted to keeping the TV or radio on in the background to sort of have a distraction to keep my mind off sex. My girlfriend was kind of freaked out at first, but when I started having sex with her, she forgot about it in two seconds, haha.
Are you able to become aroused when you're by yourself? If so, it's likely just performance anxiety. When you're finally able to perform to the best of your abilities in bed, you'll find that your partner will be like "wow, that was awesome", haha.
Hang in there pal, things will only get better when you start feeling more comfortable around this guy, ok?
Look, I'm pretty sure this has happened to most guys, I wouldn't worry about it. As much as people say that sex for guys is mostly physical, the mental part of it also comes into play. I've had the same problem myself, and trust me, it does become quite embarrassing. If this guy cares about you, he'll understand , trust me he will. It's all about the confort level. I've found that a massage or a lot of foreplay does wonders for this problem. Not to mention the fact that you're a virgin man. That alone could cause this problem, because you don't know what sex is like, the feelings involved, etc. Don't worry, keep your head up !!!!
Hell, I even resorted to keeping the TV or radio on in the background to sort of have a distraction to keep my mind off sex. My girlfriend was kind of freaked out at first, but when I started having sex with her, she forgot about it in two seconds, haha.
Are you able to become aroused when you're by yourself? If so, it's likely just performance anxiety. When you're finally able to perform to the best of your abilities in bed, you'll find that your partner will be like "wow, that was awesome", haha.
Hang in there pal, things will only get better when you start feeling more comfortable around this guy, ok?
B_horribleperson
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1. dont think about staying hard
2. think about something that gets you super turned on.
2. think about something that gets you super turned on.
ahh... by "he" I was referring to my penis, not a man 
My partner is a woman.
Anyhow, she took it to mean that I don't find her attractive (*sigh*) so we are having a bit of a fight, and now she says she doesn't ever want to have sex yadda yadda.
as for #1 and #2, easier said than done.
I am reminded of a line from Harry Potter, "The Triwizard Tournament"
"I'm trying, but for some reason a big dragon keeps popping into my head!"
My partner is a woman.
Anyhow, she took it to mean that I don't find her attractive (*sigh*) so we are having a bit of a fight, and now she says she doesn't ever want to have sex yadda yadda.
as for #1 and #2, easier said than done.
I am reminded of a line from Harry Potter, "The Triwizard Tournament"
"I'm trying, but for some reason a big dragon keeps popping into my head!"
KidBrown
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Yeah my girlfriend is maybe upset by me not being hard at all times...although she hasn't said anything and I don't want to ask her in case she isn't bothered and I get myself in twubble hehe.
What I like to do is lie at the side of her and rub her pussy, and feel her getting really wet and moaning. That gets me rock hard, then she grabs it and plays with me while I play with her...
Also don't think about 'oh im not hard enough' or whatever, try to think how sexy the girl you're with is etc.
What I like to do is lie at the side of her and rub her pussy, and feel her getting really wet and moaning. That gets me rock hard, then she grabs it and plays with me while I play with her...
Also don't think about 'oh im not hard enough' or whatever, try to think how sexy the girl you're with is etc.
KidBrown said:
I agree that sex can be just as much mental for guys. Foreplay goes both ways. Not all guys can just turn-it-off-or-on like some seem to think. The only thing I can offer is to try to relax, not think about it so much, and I think it'll happen naturally. IMHO, sex isn't purely a physical act either, it is or can be just as much a mental act, if not more. The more relaxed you are and can remain, the better it usually will be and the easier it will be.
Thanks for all your comments.
I do the same thing, Paul. I love it when SHE gets pleasure, that's what turns me on the most.
I also think I might have few nerve endings, because I don't have much "feeling" on my penis, except the head.
Maybe a semi-botched circumsision? (it all looks fine though)
I do the same thing, Paul. I love it when SHE gets pleasure, that's what turns me on the most.
I also think I might have few nerve endings, because I don't have much "feeling" on my penis, except the head.
Maybe a semi-botched circumsision? (it all looks fine though)
I also think I might have few nerve endings, because I don't have much "feeling" on my penis, except the head.
I think most of the nerve endings are at the head actually. I've also heard that guys can lose some sensation by masturbating too often. I'd assume too much sex could cause the same thing, although I personally wouldn't know with either.
I think most of the nerve endings are at the head actually. I've also heard that guys can lose some sensation by masturbating too often. I'd assume too much sex could cause the same thing, although I personally wouldn't know with either.
D_Roderick Beresford Stiffington IV
Experimental Member
Try and eat some juicy mango =P, in all seriousness, you remind me exactly of myself when I first became sexually active with women. When with women I feel this strange urgency to perform well and need constant stimulation to stay hard, I haven't been with many guys, only 1 close friend...but there was no preasure and I was hard before my pants even came out and stayed hard even after cumming.
Just relax, lay back and let the good feeling flow, and most importantly make sure your GF knows its nerves causing that and her making assumptions that you don't think shes attractive will only upset you more. Theres no magic thing you can do that'll instantly fix this problem, its only when you become comfortable with the person that you'll stay rock hard all the time.
Just relax, lay back and let the good feeling flow, and most importantly make sure your GF knows its nerves causing that and her making assumptions that you don't think shes attractive will only upset you more. Theres no magic thing you can do that'll instantly fix this problem, its only when you become comfortable with the person that you'll stay rock hard all the time.
OrbitzXT said:
Haha, I considered it
I think she knows now that it was just performance anxiety. A friend reccomended drinking before, he said it might be physically harder to get it up, but mentally no problem at all, thus balancing it out.
I'm not a drinker normally, but she is, and I'm willing to start
Good idea?
Obviously, I'm not talking about getting drunk, (frankly, I've never been) but perhaps just getting a buzz?
I dunno, thoughts?
Tawxic, stop over-analyzing this (nerve-endings, alcohol, etc). The more you focus on it, the more anxious you'll be the next time at bat.
It's happened to everyone.
I go with prolonged foreplay and relaxing. Have some intense and no-time-limited naked play with your girlfriend. Make out, laugh, talk, explore each other's bodies. You'll lose inhibitions and anxiety and really make the whole experience a lot more enjoyable and memorable.
It's happened to everyone.
I go with prolonged foreplay and relaxing. Have some intense and no-time-limited naked play with your girlfriend. Make out, laugh, talk, explore each other's bodies. You'll lose inhibitions and anxiety and really make the whole experience a lot more enjoyable and memorable.
Well I know cut guys aren't as sensetive as uncut guys since with circumcised penises they get rubbed raw by boxers etc, the foreskin acts as protection. It's still uncomfortable though when my foreskin gets trapped in my zipper, or rubs against it...and usually its trapped tightly halfway down the head, from all the moving about I think. Not painful, just uncomfortable and it hinders getting another erection until I sort it out.
Anyways as for you tawxic, I find drink helps but not too much (don't overdo it). Say three or four vodka and lemonades would do the trick
Or of course foreplay, you could pleasure her a lot to get you really hard...or something. Then she'd be all over you, hopefully, and willing to get you hard.
Anyways as for you tawxic, I find drink helps but not too much (don't overdo it). Say three or four vodka and lemonades would do the trick
Or of course foreplay, you could pleasure her a lot to get you really hard...or something. Then she'd be all over you, hopefully, and willing to get you hard.
Well, we just tried again to no avail :-/
See, I have NO PROBLEM at all getting hard, like when we make out, etc. The problem appears when the GOAL is to get hard/have sex.
I am considering drugs. I cannot go on like this, I don't want to put her through thinking she is not sexy or anything like that.
Anyone know a cheap viagra substitute or anything? :-/
See, I have NO PROBLEM at all getting hard, like when we make out, etc. The problem appears when the GOAL is to get hard/have sex.
I am considering drugs. I cannot go on like this, I don't want to put her through thinking she is not sexy or anything like that.
Anyone know a cheap viagra substitute or anything? :-/
Well the fact that you can get hard, seem to suggest something like Viagra or liquor isn't needed. The way I understand it, Viagra isn't a recreational drug. Unless a doctor prescribes it to you, I think its unhealthy to use it. I suppose liquor might relax you, but I wouldn't want to become dependent on it though. I'm obviously not there, but since you can get an erection, but can't substain it at or during intercourse, does seem to suggest anxiety. Anxiety doesn't just mean performance anxiety either. The fact that your girl does know your anxious, is a good thing that may make it easier for you to relax and just let it flow.
Who would you say is the more aggressive one....you or your gf? If your the more agrressive one or expected to be the aggressor, maybe you should sit back more and let her lead more, or vice versa. I do think people unknowingly put undue pressure on their partners to not only perform, but to perform perfectly. Do you guys actually talk about sex or just do it? I personally think communication is not only important in any relationship, but I also think its very important when it comes to having sex.
The only other thing I can say is to "take your time." Sex is neither a contest, and it damn sure doesn't have to be a race. Maybe get your girl to take the lead, relax and lay back with your eyes closed, and just let her drive you crazy with her hands, mouth, voice, her body, and her smell.
Who would you say is the more aggressive one....you or your gf? If your the more agrressive one or expected to be the aggressor, maybe you should sit back more and let her lead more, or vice versa. I do think people unknowingly put undue pressure on their partners to not only perform, but to perform perfectly. Do you guys actually talk about sex or just do it? I personally think communication is not only important in any relationship, but I also think its very important when it comes to having sex.
The only other thing I can say is to "take your time." Sex is neither a contest, and it damn sure doesn't have to be a race. Maybe get your girl to take the lead, relax and lay back with your eyes closed, and just let her drive you crazy with her hands, mouth, voice, her body, and her smell.
I am shy, I guess. I _HATE_ my flaccid penis. I mean, I'm pretty big (7.5" I guess) erect, but when it's flaccid, all my self estime is gone, and that kills me. I think I am the more passionate lover(as far as making out goes)
I dunno though :-/ is there some tea that increses blood flow? Maybe I should work out just before? Should I masturbate that morning, or the day before, or 3 days before?
I love to see her, and when I see her she damn near gets me hard, so it's not a matter of attraction. It's simply anxiety, but I have a very stubborn way with these sort of things, and I need something big to push me out of it.
I guess it comes down to me not being 100% comfortable with her seeing me naked.
Should I practice?
Any girls here want to shed some light on this? surely a flaccid penis goes hand in hand with the leaving the socks on thing, right?
What should I do?
I dunno though :-/ is there some tea that increses blood flow? Maybe I should work out just before? Should I masturbate that morning, or the day before, or 3 days before?
I love to see her, and when I see her she damn near gets me hard, so it's not a matter of attraction. It's simply anxiety, but I have a very stubborn way with these sort of things, and I need something big to push me out of it.
I guess it comes down to me not being 100% comfortable with her seeing me naked.
Should I practice?
Any girls here want to shed some light on this? surely a flaccid penis goes hand in hand with the leaving the socks on thing, right?
What should I do?
I think normally, a flaccid penis would be okay to a woman but I know its different for a guy.
I don't like the look for my flaccid penis, or even my penis in any state other than rock hard, I like to be showing my full potential lol.
I spose you just have to work at it, maybe realise that a flaccid penis isn't such a bad thing, I'm sure your gf can get it hard for you
And remember a flaccid penis grows into a hard penis, that's something to be proud of
Good luck. I'm going to keep trying too with my girl, although we haven't actually had sex yet...but still, I do need to get hard/er more often. I mean as soon as I see her and kiss her I'm half hard already. Even in her room making out I'm rock hard but then when she jumps on top of me or something I lose it...
I hear Ginseng (think thats it) helps with erections but not sure what price it is. Maybe expensive now, since a lot of people know about it.
If you smoke, then maybe try cutting down/stopping. Also, if you didn't masturbate for a few days (I can't stop even for one day lol) then you would get harder, faster.
Good luck.
I don't like the look for my flaccid penis, or even my penis in any state other than rock hard, I like to be showing my full potential lol.
I spose you just have to work at it, maybe realise that a flaccid penis isn't such a bad thing, I'm sure your gf can get it hard for you
And remember a flaccid penis grows into a hard penis, that's something to be proud of
Good luck. I'm going to keep trying too with my girl, although we haven't actually had sex yet...but still, I do need to get hard/er more often. I mean as soon as I see her and kiss her I'm half hard already. Even in her room making out I'm rock hard but then when she jumps on top of me or something I lose it...
I hear Ginseng (think thats it) helps with erections but not sure what price it is. Maybe expensive now, since a lot of people know about it.
If you smoke, then maybe try cutting down/stopping. Also, if you didn't masturbate for a few days (I can't stop even for one day lol) then you would get harder, faster.
Good luck.
tawxic said:
I really don't think there is any "magical" cure for you here. I had a feeling there was more underneath the surface with you. I wasn't expecting so see many size issues on this site, well at least not the kind you seem to have. I'm new to this site, so I feel I should tread very carefully. Flaccid worries is more common than you think. Now on this site, a 7.5" penis "may" not be considered that big, but most women would surely consider it big...some might even consider you huge. I don't really know what to say about your flaccid worries, other than I don't think most women care or worry about it nearly as much as we guys tend to think. Now while there are indeed women who prefer a bigger size and even want a bigger looking flaccid size, I've seen no indication that most women do. Be interested to know if your flaccid worries started in the locker room, gym shower, or from comments made by others over the years? Those kind of experiences can tend to stay with you over the years and effect your sex life by causing self-esteem problems. Sex isn't that complicated, but we make it complicated by overthinking it and having unrealistic expectations with ourselves or others.
Hopefully just being able to talk about it with others on this site, will ease your mind more and more everyday. This site gets a bad-rap sometimes around the web, but I've seen and read nothing but great things since I found it.
