Can't perfrm with condoms

[blakobra8]

So, I've been in an open relationship with my girlfriend for about a year now. We have an amazing sex life, and (lucky me) she has not had problems with me sleeping with other girls in the past. We have an agreement not to fuck others without a condom, but if it happens, we have to tell the other person and get tested.

So far so good. Only, I have had problems in the past with not being able to maintain an erection as soon as the condom comes out. The very act of unwrapping it starts wilting my boner. This has not happened every time I've fucked a girl with a condom. In fact, I've SUCCESSFULLY fucked girls with a condom more often than not, but it has happened two or three times and is completely humiliating.

I'm so concerned about the situation that I've invested in generic Viagra. I've taken it, but never under these circumstances. So who knows.

It's a maddeningly complicated predicament and I know that it's mostly psychological. I am confident in my abilities, and all my girlfriend has to do is think about my cock for it to spring to attention. But in less comfortable circumstances I may not even get aroused no matter how much I may consciously WANT to.

My fears have been renewed because I have a potential new fuck buddy, and I hate/am terrified by knowing I may not be able to control my body.

Anyone dealing with a similar issue?

 

[D_Everette Hunglungfish]

Maybe you need to try a bigger side, or make putting it on a part of the foreplay - get the girls to put it on slow & sexy, maybe with her mouth.

 

[blakobra8]

hm, for some reason, thought this would be a hot topic

update: I jacked off using a condom and some lube last night, and it was easy. what the fuck is wrong with me!?! frustration!

 

[dangly]

It sounds like on some level you're not completely comfortable about the idea of freely fucking others while you're in your relationship, and the condom may be reminding you of that fact. At this point you should be asking yourself what specifically it is that's causing you to be worried, anxious, or afraid.

 

[sunnyside4lyfe]

I'm actually in sort of the same situation except I'm single and this has been happening to me more frequently than not. It's gotten to the point I don't even wanna have sex anymore because I know I'll go limp

 

[Brock Rockington]

Dude, I had the same problem. Using a cockring worked for me, the rubber kind (I think it's rubber), and putting it on the shaft instead of the shaft and balls. They wear out pretty fast, mine gets stretched to less effectiveness in maybe two weeks, but otherwise they are small and unobtrusive. I used to have a gf that would push me away because she is so small, and then forever after that, with any girl, if their is the slightest hesitation before penetration, I start to go soft. This has bassically solved that problem.

 

[CaliforniaGirl]

I agree - a rubber cockring is superhelpful here! Helps keep you stiff if your mind wanders. Also try polyurethane if the cold sensation of latex is part of the issue for you.

 

[Charles Finn]

I still do not like condoms but yes it did help to jack off and get used to them
the bigger ones do fit better
I have the same problem with lube as i do jack off dry usually

 

[D_Crystallized Ginger]

It sounds like on some level you're not completely comfortable about the idea of freely fucking others while you're in your relationship, and the condom may be reminding you of that fact. At this point you should be asking yourself what specifically it is that's causing you to be worried, anxious, or afraid.

I have the same issue with condoms and never use it in a relationship.. I'm in a couple and only used it the first times we fucked but after a bit I used condoms no more... btw like misc_etc says it sounds more like your are not completely comfortable..etc...

 

[Wrat]

I found the Magnum XL condoms have enough room for your penis but are narrower at the base, which holds the condom on and holds the blood in your erection but allows your head and shaft some space.

 

[blakobra8]

It sounds like on some level you're not completely comfortable about the idea of freely fucking others while you're in your relationship, and the condom may be reminding you of that fact. At this point you should be asking yourself what specifically it is that's causing you to be worried, anxious, or afraid.

Comfort may be the key word in this situation. The first time I couldn't perform was after practically being molested by a drunk girl at a party. Other times have either been when I was physically exhausted (and coming down from Acid) or in an uncomfortable situation (orgy, but I wasn't the only one). When I am with someone I more-or-less know and like, it's almost never a problem. It's just so unpredictable that I never know when it will happen.

The cock ring sounds pretty awesome, but I'm not going to bust one out during a hookup with someone I've never fucked before.

 

[tiggerpoo]

I have the same problem with condoms. Consequently, I don't use them.

 

[freakyscboy]

hm, for some reason, thought this would be a hot topic

update: I jacked off using a condom and some lube last night, and it was easy. what the fuck is wrong with me!?! frustration!

i think it is a mental thing for u . u put some much pressure and anxiety on yourself that it is hurting your performance. think positive,clear your mind and enjoy sex. make staying hard come to u and don't force it to happen.

 

[Stanmeister]

I find that the magnums act like a cock ring and keep things up.

 

[DickDarlington]

I had the same problem just this week. Not sure if it's the condom or the notion of meaningless sex that bothers me in some subconscious level.
But condoms were always my enemy. And btw, when I do have a strong erection, they make me cum faster than usual and I have much less control over my cock. I heard for most people it makes them last LONGER, so I'm pretty confused about this one. Could it be a size thing? I use regular condoms.
Any thoughts?