Casual Intimacy?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_i76fouh, Nov 25, 2010.

  1. D_i76fouh

    D_i76fouh New Member

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    Let me with a short biographical sketch. I'm 23. I've just lost about a hundred pounds and finally got a handle on the depression that helped me to gain them. I've been cut off for a few years, from people and from intimacy, and I'm having a hard time diving back in. I'm absolutely petrified of a relationship, but I'm a normal horny person, and I want sex. But I also want something that doesn't feel transactional. I'm not very experienced. I feel like I need someone to teach me or at least help. I'm attracted to men and women, but feel afraid at the idea of being inexperienced with a woman.

    What would you do? Where would you look for that sort of companionship? Or am I just being a bit of coward about the whole thing? Any advice appreciated. Thanks.
     
  2. unabear09

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    when you find out, please pass your knowledge on
     
  3. hsarge

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    You are close. Go to Nevada, make an investment at one of the legal brothels. Talk to 1 of the ladies. From what I have seen, they are intrigued with virgins and are more than willing to 'school' them.
     
  4. AlteredEgo

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    In December of the yea that I turned 23, I lost my relationship that had lasted just shy of 6 years. That's a long time at that age. I'd also just lost a lot of weight, was trying something new with my hair, had a brand new wardrobe. I was feeling sexy, confident, and ridiculously horny, and BAM! My source of regular sex was out of my life. I immediately (same night of the break up) took some self-portraits with my shitty webcam, went online, and created a profile on two dating sites. Two or three days in I got my first intelligent, humorous, and interesting reply from possibly the hottest guy I have ever seen (even to this day). I really needed a straight-forward kind of guy, and he certainly was that. We discussed that neither of us wanted love or romance. We discussed I wanted a relationship, but that I wanted that relationship to be a growing friendship, nothing with too many strings. I just wanted us to be able to count on each other if we needed an escort to an event, or just really needed a beer and an ear, but that the focus would be the mutual sexual attraction and most of what we'd do would take place in his bed.

    We met up, hung out for a short time, went to his place, had sex over and over, and over again, and really had a great time. We had another chat reinforcing the casual nature of our relationship. We cuddled, told each other some secrets, and went to sleep.

    In a week, it will have been seven years since that night. I'm married to someone else, he's got a girlfriend and a new baby. We don't talk all the time, but we're still friends. We remember each other on birthdays and non-religious holidays. He sends me photos of his kids, snapshots from his vacations, and I keep him updated on my life too. When we single, we had as much sex as we could, and now that we are not, it's nice that the friendship we were building meanwhile has still endured. It's because we really did have intimacy. Sex comes and goes, but intimacy is forever. We've seen a lot of good and bad times together.

    That was only the first of several similar relationships, the friendships from some of which still carry on today. I had casual sex a lot when I was single. Some of the guys were men I met in person at bars, stores, in bus stops, on the train, wherever. The ones I met online though, the ones who met my words and blurry photos first, those were the ones with whom I was able to really be friends. The friendship part was just lip-service from the others.

    Look online, mrmister.
     
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