Cat-calling And Other Street Harassment, How Do You Respond?

Holly Doors

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The likes of wolf whistling is still pretty common here in the UK especially if walking past a building site or road workers where there's a bunch of guys together, 99% of the time it's tongue in cheek British humour and I know a lot of my ladies here that reside in the US might not understand that and altho I totally agree it's kinda sexist in this day and age the most of the time it is just banter. In those circumstances I usually respond simply with something like "you wish mate" they all laugh and wish you a good day, simple as that. The odd occasion it actually comes across internationally creepy or over sexual like adding lewd comments I'll usually belittle them and give the sharp end of my tongue, that usually results in embarrassing them and their buddies laughing at them. On the very odd occasion when randoms have really over stepped the line they've received slaps, gut punches and the knee to their groin, thankfully that doesn't have to happen very often.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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This doesn't happen too often to me thankfully. Living in a smaller town where everyone knows everyone when someone sees me passing chances are they know my family and don't act that way.

As a barista/waitress though, that's where the lewd comments came from. At the diner I worked graveyard so I delt with drunks who obviously had less than significant levels of self control, and at the coffee shop the majority of my customers weren't local. So there was a disconnect which gave some men a feeling of security in saying very inappropriate things to me.

One instance: I was cleaning up between rushes and a group of men came up. At least 20, they were all there for a specific reason and all work in jobs which are heavily male-dominated. The first guy I went to take an order from, I apologized to him for the wait as I was cleaning. His reply: "don't be sorry darling, I could watch you clean those counters all morning."

My reply: "sir, do you know my name"

Him: "No.."

Me: "exactly. You've never met me, you don't know my family, I don't know yours. What makes you think it's ok to say something like that to me when I'm just here to make your coffee in front of all your colleagues? You're here to WORK.. so don't disrespect me like that. It's not part of my job to let you hit on me."

He shut the fuck up immediately and his colleagues applauded me. They LOADED my tip jar. His face was so red. I loved it..

I don't always react that way. You gotta read the room. Some guys are dangerous when confronted like that.
 

nailz

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Most of the time I just ignore it. I actually wear a pair of wireless headphones or pods almost all of the time I'm out in public specifically so I can ignore whomever I want without them getting all triggered. They just see a woman walking really fast with headphones on and no eye contact so they assume I didn't hear them. If I'm in the city around traffic then they're usually off so I can hear what's going on around me but they've become like tiny little shields for me.

Replying with something snarky to rude catcalls hasn't really worked out for me, it just seems to encourage them even more. They're looking for a reaction/attention/validation so IMO ignoring them is like the best thing to do.

Now and then a guy will totally disarm me by saying something truly funny or charming in a harmless and non-creepy way and I might smile and/or respond, and if they're walking/running in the same direction it may even lead to a conversation.. but that type of thing is really rare.. like literally one in a thousand :rolleyes:

It also totally depends on where and when. There's a world of difference between walking on a busy downtown street and being whistled at by a group of construction workers, and someone yelling something really crude while you're walking down some dark side street at night :no_mouth: The first is just an everyday part of city life, the second would have me readying my pepper spray in my hand.
For any men reading this: as a total stranger there's basically nothing you can say to a woman on a deserted street at night that's not going to instantly have her on red alert.
 
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