Catching guys masturbating

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jazz_jazz70: I've masturbated in front of women a lot in the past and I really get off on it, but I've never been caught in my 34 years... until yesterday.

My wife had headed off to work and I didn't have to be in until later, the kids were out of the house and its been a while since i really took my time watching a porno and getting a good jerk on, so I thought I'd indulge myself. I lowered the blinds and put the in DVD dropped the robe and started jerking. This was at about 8:30am. What my wife had failed to tell me was that our once a month cleaning service was coming at their usual 9:00 time. Our front door is half glass, but you'd have to be standing at the door to see me where I was sitting, and I figured I'd hear anyone walking up the steps and be able to cover up in time. Right at 9:00 I thought I heard steps and looked out of the blinds, but I couldn't see anyone. However from that angle, if someone was standing right at the door I wouldn't be able to see them (this didn't cross my mind until later).

So I thought nothing of it, wet down with some more lube and got back to work before I finally shot my load around 9:45 or so. Then I cleaned up, hopped in the shower, and headed off to work. When I get home my wife says that our cleaning lady called and said that she came by at 9:00 and the door was locked so she didn't clean, but I'm pretty sure she came by at 9:00, saw me stroking and had the decency not to interrupt my jerk-a-thon. If she was standing at the door there's no way she didn't see the porno going and I'm sure she saw me too.

I wish this had more of a french maid type ending to the story, but that's it. I'm so glad she caught me so I can contribute here.

 

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gigantikok: Never been caught, thank god. I grew up with a lock on my door...

I think it's safe to make the assumption that being caught masturbating, especially by a relative, is one of the most embarassing moments you can live through.

 

[johnstone1985]

My mum is still finding it hard to hold a conversation with me, and it's been almost a week.

 

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wvalady1968: JS, your Mum will get over it. It couldn't have been much of a surprise that a guy your age is into pleasing himself. In fact, it should teach her to respect your privacy a lot more. Don't feel badly. It's normal and fun!

:

 

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captainstupid: i have asked girls to watch but they always say no :-[

 

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ORCABOMBER: I'm lucky I haven't been busted, then, aren't I?

 

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SpeedoGuy: I've never really been caught.

I was almost caught one night when my gf was jacking me off in her bedroom and her mother surprised us by opening the door unexpectedly. Big bad shock for us because both of gf's hands were busy pumping me. I thought we were dead but mother didn't react or say much at all. What saved us was that mother's eyes had been dazzled by watching hours of TV and were not adjusted to the darkness. All she could see was a dim outline of us sitting there. The door opening had been so sudden, the surprise so complete,  that neither of us reacted in a startled manner. Mother, standing there in the darkness, therefore concluded that no hanky panky was going on at all, even though her daughter's hands were clutching my erection right in front of her.  She smiled and asked us if everything was allright. We said yes and then she said good night and closed the door and that was that.

Whew! Close, close call.

SG

 

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ORCABOMBER: [quote author=SpeedoGuy link=board=women;num=1063316235;start=20#26 date=09/30/03 at 00:17:42]
Whew! Close, close call.
[/quote]
You can say that again! Like, WTF! But then again, you did muck around while she was at home, I could NEVER do that!

 

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SpeedoGuy: [quote author=ORCABOMBER link=board=women;num=1063316235;start=20#27 date=10/01/03 at 11:41:24]
You can say that again! Like, WTF! But then again, you did muck around while she was at home, I could NEVER do that![/quote]

LOL. It was possibly the stupidest thing I ever did sexually. Honestly, now that I look back on it, how could we  have expected mother not to look in on us sometime while we were in there?  I guess I was thinking with the wrong part of my anatomy.

Afterwards, it occurred to me that maybe mother actually did see what we were doing but chose not to make an issue out of it. As far as mothers go, she was pretty relaxed about things and not uptight at all. Still, I watched her quite closely during my visits in the days afterward and I never detected the slightest sign that she knew what was going on. She really was blinded by the TV and I was saved by luck alone!

SG

 

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ORCABOMBER: I am so impressed Speedo!

As the British would say: "You Jammy Git!"

 

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huge_cock_have_pic: In college, I went to my girlfriend's home and stayed a week during the summer. It was a good time but the house was old and you could hear "everything." Other than a few handjobs, there was nothing going on between us while we were there. About four days into the stay, I am horny as hell. My girlfriend is out at the store in the morning and I am laying in bed watching tv.

One thought leads another and before long I am jerking off. Then I get the great idea to self suck. There I am blowing myself when the door open, and my girlfriend's mom walks in. She saw everything! She let out an "oh my god" and shut the door after she left.

Once I got dressed, all I could muster was an, excuse me and I'm sorry. My girlfriend's mom, as blushed as could be, said it was ok and that I should lock the door next time. Overall, she was pretty cool about it but I COULD NOT look her in the eye after that.

 

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captainstupid: big cock have pics, thats a pretty funny story (no offense) but seriously self sucking in living of gf's house, couldnt u just take that to the bathroom.
i am surprised the mother didnt faint when she saw that monster you have between your legs

 

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huge_cock_have_pic: hung, young, and full of cum..... what else can I saw other than I was thinking with the wrong head.

my girlfriend laughed her ass off when she found out, she would not lay off of making fun of me for it--even though she was into seeing me self suck

 

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Tender: ha ha ha
that is really cute.
would have been a riot to see that...!!...
i couldnt imagine how embarassed you were...

 

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HungJordan: I have been caught several times before by my roommate which is ok since we're buds and he knows my size. He is hung big too but not like me.

 

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rainfletcher: Damn, huge_cock_have_pic. You realize, of course, that she was probably not even aware that self-sucking happens? Most women have never heard of it, or realize it's possible (outside this board, of course). It's sort of one of those urban legends that happens to be true!

Imagine the conversation with her husband that night! God, I can only imagine...

 

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Tender: hmm. im trying to imagine the conversation between mom and her husband...
i dunno but for me,,,, i reeeeeealy dont think id say anything to my hubby...
the poor kid is already embarassed enough, and besides that, i uh wouldnt have adequate words lol!

 

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Valkyrie: [quote author=huge_cock_have_pic link=board=women;num=1063316235;start=20#32 date=10/02/03 at 14:04:45]hung, young, and full of cum..... what else can I saw other than I was thinking with the wrong head.[/quote]

...when the brain goes to the balls... What else is there to say?

 

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huge_cock_have_pic: All sorts of things were running through my head. Included was the idea these people were going to tell me to get the hell out of their home and how was I going to explain to my parents why I came home early.

What made it worse was I tried to get information out of my girlfriend. Telling her what happened sent her into a laughing fit. Then she milked it for all it was worth as I tried to get information out of her that might tell me what in the world her mom and/or dad were thinking. It was pure torture for the next few days.

 

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Tender: [quote author=huge_cock_have_pic link=board=women;num=1063316235;start=20#38 date=10/03/03 at 08:28:32]All sorts of things were running through my head.  Included was the idea these people were going to tell me to get the hell out of their home and how was I going to explain to my parents why I came home early.

What made it worse was I tried to get information out of my girlfriend.  Telling her what happened sent her into a laughing fit.  Then she milked it for all it was worth as I tried to get information out of her that might tell me what in the world her mom and/or dad were  thinking.  It was pure torture for the next few days.[/quote]


i must say that would be an amussing thing to a gf.
but i think that is kind of mean of her. very sad.