So ten years ago (I'm 21 now), they told me I acted gay, called me a fag, etc. I was trying to kiss girls and get them to go out with him. A year or so ago I was suspicious that maybe I was gay. 6 months ago I hooked up with a guy that I knew for a while, took it back to a hotel, sucked and played around. Next day I laugh it off, oh whatever it can happen. The following days we hung out again and I kissed him but it felt increasingly gayer (in the bad way, that I was raised to believe) every time until one day I just told him I couldn't anymore. I felt like a straight guy hooking up with a gay dude, you know? I told him that I didn't want a boyfriend or anything like that and that I couldn't see myself having an emotional attachment to a male (why did I say that? I've crushed over dozens of guys before) He was cool with it and a few days after I hit him up again. We hang out, 420, drink a little bit, and we got to sucking again. I couldn't fit my big dick inside him, and I let him fuck me. It was ok, a little too much for me. Now last night, I hit him up yet again. We hang out at his place and after chatting for a while while im laying down, he sits on top of me. And fuck I loved him right there, sitting on me in his tight little briefs. He sucked me pretty good, but previous times I was a little uncomfortable. This time, it was the complete opposite. I wanted more skin contact, kisses on the neck and such. Oh shit, how long will it take to full figure out what the hell I want?