Catching your man watching porn?

[SSS79]

I doubt there is even one tiny morsel, but have left room for possibility in my wording.

Once, over a decade ago, I caught Heather Hunter twisting her head to push the head of a penis into her throat. It was the one thing I was missing information wise. It was incomplete information though.

I have found I often need lube, and that my throat is drier than it feels to me. Porn never showed me that. I'm still learning. For a few years, my wisdom teeth were in the way. I learned that after they were removed. I had no idea they were still growing and had gotten much larger than when I first learned to deep throat. Porn didn't help me with that. I have learned that my esophageal opening must not be symmetrical. If the corona is, I have to have his help pushing down on my head as I try to angle it to my right side and give that little head twist or it won't go in.

All I learned from Ms. Hunter was to twist my head, which really, from her example, just looks like enough. I had to learn from experience it is not. Experience would have led me to that conclusion eventually anyway. My mouth is a fucking rock star.

Where did you get the idea of deep throat from the start?!!! from school or parents?? I doubt!!

and here, you are talking that porn didn't help explain exactly how to perform a certain act, but didn't porn ever give you a thought/an idea that you tried to include in your real sex life? NEVER?

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

To the OP, I promise my husband isn't watching porn behind my back. Because he doesn't have to. He rarely even masturbates, even when I request it. It takes an act of God and my vagina, hands and mouth to make him orgasm. Everytime I've tried to get to watch porn to make him horny he has zero interest. He thinks most porn has shitty sex techniques and the women are ugly for the most part.

Please don't ask me 10 more questions.

 

[693987]

are you kidding me? let me ask you this, where did u first get all your sexual knowledge? By the way, i TOTALLY agree about all the things you said about porn, BUT, you wanna tell me you NEVER got any hint/idea from porn to apply in your real sex life? a new position maybe? some combination of acts? Nothing at all ever in porn ever provoked you?
would you tell me that real sex life would have been exactly the same if porn NEVER existed?! i certainly doubt that!

Firstly, no, I'm not kidding. There was no "jk" no emoticon implying sarcasm or jest. I am equally as blunt online and offline. I say what I mean, and while I do my best to be civil and not call people names/make personal insults, I otherwise don't give a fuck about random people online who I don't consider a friend. Even people I do consider a friend, I am still blunt and pretty plain spoken. Text can make it hard for people to understand tone at times, given they don't have all the different hints like even my voice alone would give. If I'm joking I tend to give a pretty blatant indicator that I am.

Secondly, I got my sexual knowledge by fucking. By paying attention to the people I was bedding, genuinely caring about their pleasure, and by being willing to experiment/wanting to try new stuff.

I didn't really get into watching porn until after I'd already been having a lot of sex.

I'm not saying other people's sex lives are not affected by porn, so don't act like I did. I'm saying for ME, for MY sex life it hasn't made a difference. I learned how to deep throat by trial and error and a hell of a lot of practice. Also, a willing partner who didn't make me feel embarrassed about minor boo boos during the learning process. Porn didn't teach me shit about how to angle my head, to make my anatomy and my partner's anatomy work. It didn't teach me how to best balance breathing and having a dick down my throat so far I am unable to breath.

 

[AlteredEgo]

are you kidding me? let me ask you this, where did u first get all your sexual knowledge? By the way, i TOTALLY agree about all the things you said about porn, BUT, you wanna tell me you NEVER got any hint/idea from porn to apply in your real sex life? a new position maybe? some combination of acts? Nothing at all ever in porn ever provoked you?
would you tell me that real sex life would have been exactly the same if porn NEVER existed?! i certainly doubt that!

When I first started watching porn, it was my high school sweetheart's collection. We were both trying to learn from it, and we were both aroused by watching it. We learned nothing from porn. We learned from practice. We discussed that we would probably not be together forever. We agreed that the practical thing to do was to have as much fun as we could while it was good between us, and learn on each other. I got used to a lot of sensations that started out too ticklish. He got ideas from what we watched and we mutually vetoed them all as too rough, or just for the camera and providing no real pleasure. I built up stamina for keeping my jaw open wide and learned to cover my teeth. We saw that my mouth was too tiny, and my teeth too big for pretty much anything we saw. We learned that my vagina was shallow and that I could not be rammed like the women in porn, nor did either of us like that activity anyway. We learned that jizz on a face is stupid and wasn't a good finish for either of us. If anything, the porn he collected was a how to for disappointing a partner.

With later partners I learned that my vagina wasn't shallow after all if one knew how to get around my cervix. Porn doesn't teach that.

When I touch myself I rub the left side of my clit. Porn didn't teach that, my own nerve endings did. I need two fingers to stimulate my g-spot, and three to prepare me for a thick dick. Porn didn't teach ke that, practical application did. The thumb is my favorite finger for anal play. Porn didn't teach that, looking at anal toys inspired the experimentation that lead to that discovery.

When I am using my muscles to manipulate a penis, we both get more intense sensation when I bear down/push out. Porn doesn't show that. Porn doesn't indicate how hard to suck on balls. Men indicate by flinching. Porn doesn't teach which part of a stroke needs the most vacuum when sucking dick. Porn doesn't teach foreskin teasing. Porn doesn't teach real-world dirty talk.

Porn is not educational. Fucking and sucking is.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I've rarely felt envy for a woman in porn. I usually feel sorry for her having to pretend she's enjoying herself through the shitty sex to impress the cameras.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Where did you get the idea of deep throat from the start?!!! from school or parents?? I doubt!!

and here, you are talking that porn didn't help explain exactly how to perform a certain act, but didn't porn ever give you a thought/an idea that you tried to include in your real sex life? NEVER?

My mother talked to me about oral sex. A classmate told me a dirty joke over the phone, and my mother heard me having a fit over my disdain for the punchline. She took that as an opportunity to describe oral sex as a loving interaction between married, consenting adults. Having my mind thus open, no longer considering it dirty or shameful, when friends talked to me about it, I was open to their ideas. We learned in school to put on a condom, practicing with bananas. This gave us the idea to try masturbating with bananas, something we all regretted for different reasons. Then we tried sucking them. I have a very small mouth. Only three or four inches would ever fit. One friend suggested I might have to use my throat to provide enough stimulation, especially since I was the only one of us whose tongue was not limber enough to tie a cherry stem.

The idea of anal sex was introduced to me through porn, but I was so young and malleable, the exposure so inappropriate, that there is no way to know that I would not have eventually discovered anal sex without porn.

I masturbated a lot, and from early on. Most of what I know about pleasure stems from masturbation, not porn.

I'm perfectly capable of original thought. I don't need porn influences to give me ideas. Inspiration for me comes from knowledge of self, and experimental application of that knowledge to partners.

 

[SSS79]

You're misunderstanding. Again. The sex has been awesome since the first time. All that has changed is minor amounts of finesse and me gradually introducing him to BDSM. There is no "get the real reward". Him paying attention to his partner is something he did way before me. Me paying attention to my partner is something I did way before him.

It's more him learning the exact way I like my hair pulled for example, or exactly how hard I like being bitten. The core knowledge and him caring about a partner's pleasure has been around since way before me.

I understand! I SWEAR! I was just kidding about "getting the reward"!

and yes, as you just explained, minor enhancements (some cases: MAJOR improvements) will come over time, i totally agree!

But, this core knowledge, where did it come from?! In this era we are living: where do human beings (both men and women) get their sexual education and knowledge from? Isn't porn becoming one of the main sources (if not main, at least ONE of the sources)?

 

[SSS79]

To the OP, I promise my husband isn't watching porn behind my back. Because he doesn't have to. He rarely even masturbates, even when I request it. It takes an act of God and my vagina, hands and mouth to make him orgasm. Everytime I've tried to get to watch porn to make him horny he has zero interest. He thinks most porn has shitty sex techniques and the women are ugly for the most part.

Please don't ask me 10 more questions.

thanks for your answer, and i was really just kidding and teasing about it, sorry if i bothered you with this question!
and no more questions!! at least for today!

 

[693987]

But, this core knowledge, where did it come from?! In this era we are living: where do human beings (both men and women) get their sexual education and knowledge from? Isn't porn becoming one of the main sources (if not main, at least ONE of the sources)?

Porn has been around for a long damn time, firstly. Secondly, people thought of shit on their own in order to make pornographic material. People do in fact come up with things on their own. People also can learn first hand from people they're intimate with. People can learn about a concept from talking to other people. As to the rest, I already basically answered that in post #44 of this thread and I'm not repeating myself.

 

[SSS79]

Firstly, no, I'm not kidding. There was no "jk" no emoticon implying sarcasm or jest. I am equally as blunt online and offline. I say what I mean, and while I do my best to be civil and not call people names/make personal insults, I otherwise don't give a fuck about random people online who I don't consider a friend. Even people I do consider a friend, I am still blunt and pretty plain spoken. Text can make it hard for people to understand tone at times, given they don't have all the different hints like even my voice alone would give. If I'm joking I tend to give a pretty blatant indicator that I am.

Secondly, I got my sexual knowledge by fucking. By paying attention to the people I was bedding, genuinely caring about their pleasure, and by being willing to experiment/wanting to try new stuff.

I didn't really get into watching porn until after I'd already been having a lot of sex.

I'm not saying other people's sex lives are not affected by porn, so don't act like I did. I'm saying for ME, for MY sex life it hasn't made a difference. I learned how to deep throat by trial and error and a hell of a lot of practice. Also, a willing partner who didn't make me feel embarrassed about minor boo boos during the learning process. Porn didn't teach me shit about how to angle my head, to make my anatomy and my partner's anatomy work. It didn't teach me how to best balance breathing and having a dick down my throat so far I am unable to breath.

okay, when i asked "are you kidding me?" that was because i understood that you were serious about it! it was like "no way you are serious, you must be kidding!" sorry if you understood I thought you were kidding, i didn't.

For most men i know (including myself) it was certainly the other way around, we start watching porn maybe years before our first real sex! So maybe that's how I might see it differently! and if you never watched pron, you must be really open minded to try things your partner wants that apparently sounds very weird or shocking or abnormal; how did the idea of deep throat came to your sex life?

I'm not saying porn will give you step-by-step and detailed educational instructions on how to perform any sexual act (although there are some videos that really help in this matter) but porn just give you ideas: small hints / new positions you can try / small details (pulling your hair for example, kissing a specific area in a specific way...etc) it might open your mind to a whole new level (BDSM for example) For me, I Know I have adopted many acts from porn into my real sex life that I would have never known otherwise. So, this is what I mean.

 

[693987]

okay, when i asked "are you kidding me?" that was because i understood that you were serious about it! it was like "no way you are serious, you must be kidding!" sorry if you understood I thought you were kidding, i didn't.

For most men i know (including myself) it was certainly the other way around, we start watching porn maybe years before our first real sex! So maybe that's how I might see it differently! and if you never watched pron, you must be really open minded to try things your partner wants that apparently sounds very weird or shocking or abnormal; how did the idea of deep throat came to your sex life?

I'm not saying porn will give you step-by-step and detailed educational instructions on how to perform any sexual act (although there are some videos that really help in this matter) but porn just give you ideas: small hints / new positions you can try / small details (pulling your hair for example, kissing a specific area in a specific way...etc) it might open your mind to a whole new level (BDSM for example) For me, I Know I have adopted many acts from porn into my real sex life that I would have never known otherwise. So, this is what I mean.

I had dreams about kinky things before I even knew what exactly intercourse was. I am plenty creative on my own, without needing porn.

 

[SSS79]

I've rarely felt envy for a woman in porn. I usually feel sorry for her having to pretend she's enjoying herself through the shitty sex to impress the cameras.

I have heard some porn stars do enjoy the act! But certainly most just act, i agree.

 

[SSS79]

I had dreams about kinky things before I even knew what exactly intercourse was. I am plenty creative on my own, without needing porn.

hahaha

This is YOUR special gift! you have a pretty abnormal dirty mind up there! lucky you!
can you give me an example of your early kinky dreams? (just curious!)

 

[693987]

hahaha

This is YOUR special gift! you have a pretty abnormal dirty mind up there! lucky you!
can you give me an example of your early kinky dreams? (just curious!)

I could, but I have no interest in sharing with you.

 

[SSS79]

Porn has been around for a long damn time, firstly. Secondly, people thought of shit on their own in order to make pornographic material. People do in fact come up with things on their own. People also can learn first hand from people they're intimate with. People can learn about a concept from talking to other people. As to the rest, I already basically answered that in post #44 of this thread and I'm not repeating myself.

Actually it is very debatable: does porn trends reflect what is going on in our societies? OR Porn actually shapes/affects/changes real sexual behaviors?! and of course: the effect of porn is very BIG on young people who didn't yet start their real sex life: would you imagine what a young boy would be planning and wanting i his first sex encounters after watching tons of Kink.com videos and some other stuff that's very abusive (face-fucks / facials / hard spanking ...etc) I saw this small documentary relating some family violence and divorces and harsh/disrespectful sexual behaviors between married couples all because of these new trends in porn during the last decade or so.

 

[SSS79]

I could, but I have no interest in sharing with you.

 

[693987]

Actually it is very debatable: does porn trends reflect what is going on in our societies? OR Porn actually shapes/affects/changes real sexual behaviors?! and of course: the effect of porn is very BIG on young people who didn't yet start their real sex life: would you imagine what a young boy would be planning and wanting i his first sex encounters after watching tons of Kink.com videos and some other stuff that's very abusive (face-fucks / facials / hard spanking ...etc) I saw this small documentary relating some family violence and divorces and harsh/disrespectful sexual behaviors between married couples all because of these new trends in porn during the last decade or so.

How is me saying porn has been around for a long time debatable? How is me saying people came up with shit on their own before making pornographic content debatable? There are lewd cave paintings. There are lewd clay statuettes from eons ago.

I already acknowledged that porn (just like any other media) can and does affect some people. You're going off on your own tangent, which is fine, but it seems like you're trying to get me to debate about some shit that I already acknowledged is a thing, so it's repetitious and I'm not going to play that kinda thing.

 

[rtg]

Forgive my curiosity, but what were you both doing while watching together? just watching / commenting and discusiing what is being watched / doing anything erotic or sexual / ??? what type of porn was it?, who chose: you or them?!!

I'd say it's very unlikely to meet a girl who REALLY like porn, or as far as i know! i'd find her "one of a kind" someway!!! WHY? i don't know exactly, you tell me!! and i expect most of the women around would react the way you described (horrified) or at least (shocked); but let me ask you this: how many girls have you come across in your life that like watching porn? can you give an estimate to a percentage among all other girls who do not watch it?

Both times it was during foreplay and / or sex. The first time he chose it and it was amateur straight porn. The second time I chose it and it was just a girl on girl DVD that I had lol.

How would I know the percentage of all women that watch it??? That's an absurd question.

I don't think I've ever met another woman irl who admitted to liking it. I don't talk about it with girlfriends. But I know a number who find it disgusting cos they've made comments stating that.

Haha another one you need to check out is "one guy one jar"... I've showed that to many too

 

[rtg]

are you kidding me? let me ask you this, where did u first get all your sexual knowledge? By the way, i TOTALLY agree about all the things you said about porn, BUT, you wanna tell me you NEVER got any hint/idea from porn to apply in your real sex life? a new position maybe? some combination of acts? Nothing at all ever in porn ever provoked you?
would you tell me that real sex life would have been exactly the same if porn NEVER existed?! i certainly doubt that!

I can confidently say that porn has had zero bearing on my sex life and what I do in the bedroom. Men and women view porn very differently... there's so many men who think that porn is real life and they try to imitate it and it's just basaaad.

 

[C41ara]

I wouldn't be shocked, I know every man watches porn, I don't live under a rock. And, hoping he's not watching something weird but "simple straight" porn, I would understand, and maybe laught about it together. After I mean in this site, I don't want to judge him if that happens.