Causing her pain?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Hawkmane, Sep 22, 2010.

  1. Hawkmane

    Hawkmane New Member

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    Hello,

    Does anyone else have problems with hurting your girl during sex? I can bottom out easily and doggy style or any other rear entry positions have to be done very gently or she is in pain. The funny thing is, is that sometimes she refers to sex as "hurting soo good". Do girls like it sometimes when you are pushing the envelope of pain?

    Thanks.
     
  2. Empathizer

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    If she's not complaining, DON'T STOP!

    I, like your gf, ADORE that kind of pain.

    She's probably counting her lucky stars (the ones she sees when you fuck her good and hard) that she has a man big enough to do her just like she likes to be done.
     
  3. petite

    petite New Member

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    It just depends on the woman. Some women are into that kind of masochistic pleasure, some aren't. Like Empathizer says, if she loves it, then don't do anything different. You're giving her what she likes.

    I'm not into that kind of pain and that's been a problem for me and TheBF. When he bottomed out and it hurt, I would wince or involuntarily pull away, and in certain positions I still involuntarily brace myself for the pain because I've gotten so used to expecting it. It's not fun for me. That pain is something I used to endure for him, but I did not enjoy it. I like PIV to be all pleasure.

    Now if you wanted to spank my bottom, that's a kind of pain that I don't mind. :tongue:

    We've all got different tastes.
     
  4. Hawkmane

    Hawkmane New Member

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    Not to get too TMI, but can a girl start to experience pain on the outside of the V from intense sex with a large guy? Recently my girl has said she has pain on one side of her vulva(i guess)? There is no visible tears, sores or swelling. She just gets a sharp pain sometimes during initial penetration. She's going to the Dr. this week. Honestly I joined this forum because I'm afraid I'm destroying my petite little gf during intercourse.
     
  5. irox19

    irox19 New Member

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    i love some pain....hurting so good is no joke.
     
  6. ManlyBanisters

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    I made this post in a thread on a similar topic yesterday:

    In your case, Hawkmane, it sounds like a question of stretching her rather than her not being turned on enough. As you say yourself, you need to take it easy in certain positions.

    That doesn't sound normal to me - it certainly isn't something I recall the women of LPSG mentioning as a side effect. She should go to the Doc with that - it could be something as simple as an ingrown pubic hair. Best to get it checked out.

    I wouldn't worry too much about 'destroying' her - the vagina is very elastic and if she is enjoying sex with you and there is no tearing occurring then it is unlikely you are doing any lasting damage.

    There is a fine line between pleasure and pain - some like to walk a little closer to the edge than others.
     
  7. petite

    petite New Member

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    MB's suggestions are good ones.

    May I ask, do you always use lube? I'd recommend starting off using lube. It could be caused by not enough lubrication on her labia before penetration, causing a friction burn during entry before your cock becomes slick enough to slide against them. That's happened to me about 1000 times, I swear.

    I sometimes get labia pains, but they're not usually on initial penetration. She could be failing to relax her PC muscles completely during penetration. That's another possibility for why it could hurt during penetration most of all. Usually when one of my labia hurts, it sort of feels "beaten up" from the amount of pounding that we've done, but it usually doesn't start off hurting like that.

    The best positions for me for sex with a penis that's too long, as a woman who is shorter than my partner in both height and vaginal capacity, were the missionary position and woman on top in an awkwardly named position called Kneeling Master except I prefer to do that one with my feet on the ground while he's sitting in an armless chair with a back that I can grip, sort of like the Sybian, if he were sitting upright in a chair instead of lying down on an ottoman. When I'm on top on my knees in the kneeling position, my legs get tired sooner, and my knees will begin to ache after a while. I've found that the leverage with my feet on the ground makes it easier to enjoy myself for longer with less physical exertion and with more control. The advantage of his torso being upright is that I could rub my pubis mont against him as I rode his cock, which made orgasming a lot easier, having something to hold onto with my arms (the back of the chair or sofa) made me less tired and gave me more control, being face to face so close makes it easier to kiss each other's faces and necks or for him to kiss my breasts, and if you enjoy watching yourself then a mirror behind her provides a beautiful view of your cock going in and out between her buttocks that you can watch over her shoulder.

    Another position that I loved that is good for preventing too deep penetration and is also extremely hot in the mirror is a variation of Lap Dance, which is really just the position I described above except with the woman facing the opposite direction. We do this one with my thighs draped over his thighs instead of inside his legs, so that my feet are outside his feet not inside, and we've also done this one kneeling on the bed and facing a mirror, too, the same way, my thighs draped over his thighs, my knees outside his. This has always been a "play with my clit" position for us, because it's nothing without the reach-around, which always makes me throw my head back and rest it on his shoulder when I'm not watching us in the mirror at the same time he is. You can also fondle her breasts with your free hand or kiss her neck or her ear. I recommend that you do!

    The Inverted Jockey is also another good one for limiting depth.
     
    #7 petite, Sep 22, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2010
  8. blutrane

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    Thanks so much Petite and MB for the suggestions. I've had this problem once before where I was stabbing at a girl's cervix at unwanted times, and I'd agree that it takes a lot of control. Doggie was at many times too intense for her, but as we all know, every girl is different. It's something that's difficult to be conscious of when you're in the mood. Hurting a girl (in an unwelcome way) is my least favorite thing ever. Funny thing is, I actually am into a little pain myself, and never have had the opportunity to get with a girl who's into the "hurts so good" thing.

    Peace, Blu
     
    #8 blutrane, Sep 22, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2010
  9. helgaleena

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    Another member here, belly dancer, suggested an appliance called the 'donut' which is like a soft spacer you put around you before penetration. Others have said to just wrap thumb and forefinger round your rod while pounding her. But I hope that just a switch of positions is enough to fit you two better.

    Having endometriosis was a sure cause of my initiation into the 'hurts so good' club, because even masturbation gave me pain once the mojo subsided. It meant I had to recover for many hours after climax and sometimes couldn't walk the next day, all for the sake of my desires. I suspect that sex with a large partner who is stretching the inner dimensions and banging the cervix which has not retracted yet might be similar. But remember, a baby's head is bigger than you...

    Pleasure and pain can intertwine, and every person will deal with the mix differently. Try as I might, I could not give up sex even when it hurt me.

    And tell your girl to do her Kegels! She has to keep in shape for you.
     
  10. ManlyBanisters

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    That's such a fucking stupid thing to say - especially coming from a woman.

    Something the diameter of a baby's head is not shoved in and out of a vagina repeatedly day after day, week in week out. If it was it would do damage.

    Sex and childbirth are related only insofar as one leads to the other - there is nothing physically common in the two processes.
     
  11. helgaleena

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    Like a fist fx? You are right in many respects, manly. But some people do strange things to mix pleasure and pain. The OP must certainly ask his woman plainly what she likes.
     
  12. Hawkmane

    Hawkmane New Member

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    Thanks for all the great posts people. I wasn't sure if this was a gay hookup site or an actual support group for guys with big dongs at first glance. I appreciate the medical information manly, as well as the personal opinions from others. Thanks for the position suggestions petite, my girl is 5'2" about 100 and I'm 6'3" 200 so I assume we have a similar dynamic. Stoked to try a few of those out!

    From viewing other threads it seems a lot of guys are "cocky" about having LP's. In my experience it's been a mixed bag of pros and cons. Yes, its an ego boots when some chick takes it out and to see her reaction. The converse is sex can sometimes hurt your partner. I would trade all the "wow's" in the world to not have to worry about things like broken condoms, hitting the cervix and treading lightly during sex. I guess what I'm trying to say is "with great power comes great responsibility" -FDR

    Thanks
     
  13. B_Uni79

    B_Uni79 New Member

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    After hearing this....
    I'm hard now!
     
  14. D_Edwin Eatser

    D_Edwin Eatser New Member

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    As one gf used to say "a bit of pain adds to the pleasure" and "that hurts good". Agree, don't stop unless she tells you.
     
  15. RawDog

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    There seems to be different types of pain, good or bad.

    Bad pain:
    - Hitting the cervix
    - Tearing the forchette
    - Abrasions on the labia from lack of lube or if she's not ready for penetration yet or just plain fucking for too long
    - Pushing her legs too far back
    - Trying to slap her ass and missing (done that, not pretty)
    - Falling off the bed and hitting your head on the floor... damned Margaritas

    Gray area good pain (You know it's bad pain when she punches you in the face):
    - Opening up the vagina too wide from girth
    - Pushing back too far/grinding too long/slamming too hard on the backstop.
    - Stimulating the clit post clit orgasm (when it's super sensitive)
    - Smacking her ass
    - Pulling her hair
    - Sucking too hard on her neck and shoulders

    It's an incomplete list in progress. I'm sure I'm missing so much.
     
  16. petite

    petite New Member

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    Also, it might help if you orgasm once before you have sex with her, if means that you aren't rock hard the second time around. I found that sucking TheBF's cock until he came once before we had sex really helped.
     
  17. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Nice, although not one of my top five. I love the after effects of this - the pain that won't let me sit down without wincing for a week . . .


    Definitely a hurts so good pain! My FB is just a little too large for me and I like it that way :tongue:


    This isn't so much a pain thing for me. It does make me jump like a deranged frog though. Doing this to me is just plain evil, but I do love it :biggrin1:.


    Yes, please! But none of that half-assed smacking. It has to actually hurt.


    Love it! I especially love the control factor involved in this.


    Please do! Biting is good as well.

    I also love being scratched - hard. In fact, I've recently invested in a pair of the vampire gloves Dolfette recommended. Clothing Accessories - Vampire Gloves | eXtreme Restraints

    And of course there is biting my nipples, and my clit . . .

    I think you did pretty well overall :tongue:
     
  18. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

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    I'm not into painful sex, but it's hardly ever a problem for us except for when I am very close to my flow. It can really hurt... so we adjust positions and he is gentle about it. Just trying various positions has worked for us.
     
  19. RawDog

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    A week?!? Most I ever managed to inflict was 3 days. Yeah, I say that with pride, but I end up screwing myself with that one. That's 3 days the playground's closed for repairs.

    Like they say, "Just right and almost too big are the same thing."

    Deranged frog?! I love it! I also love the words, Beautiful agony.

    My wife smacked my ass once when I was on top of her, and it did nothing for me. Made her giggle, but nada on my end. Slapping her on the other hand, W:eek:W! Made her buck, ass jiggle and pussy squeeze all at the same time.

    She has a saying, "If you slap my ass, you'd better be fucking me!"

    Doggy-style, grabbing a fistful of hair with my right hand pulling back until her hands are off the bed and with my left hand, cupping her throat, fucking her hard.

    I'd usually get her lube all over my balls when I did that with my ex. She was a pain slut too.

    My wife loves the biting!! Gotta be the muscular part of her shoulder.

    Looks charmingly medieval. I might buy that one day. How's it feel to be scratched before, during, and after an orgasm? My hands are X-Large though, so I may need to special order a pair when the time comes.

    Y'know, I've been trying something new lately, and am liking the results. While going down on her (she on her back, me on my side, one leg over my shoulder, I suck the clit hard enough so I can gently bite behind the shaft, pulling back and with my teeth clenched, lick the clit up and down (since I'm sideways with respect to her clit, it would be a side to side motion for her). If I suck, just right, I can pull up and give it a quarter twist.

    Like I said, I'm liking the results.

    Thanks!
     
  20. Thirdlegproduction

    Thirdlegproduction Formerly WhiteMonst3r
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    Yes my gf was really looking forward to taking my dick and liked the pain during sex but right after she started having bad cramps and couldnt walk straight for a week without it hurting.
    Doc said it would take about three months for her to heal properly.

    I felt really bad for hurting her but she keeps wanting more.
     
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