Celebration Thread

[D_Barbi_Queue]

ha ha ha....I can see that she's well loved around here.

 

[Leung]

Originally posted by prepstudinsc@Apr 13 2005, 12:37 PM
She won't be a bitchin' mom, she'll just be a bitch. Actually, she'll just contribute another child to the world that will grow up to be trash, like it's mother and father...they are both some skanky people. They look dirty and seem like they would smell if you got too close to them.

[post=300248]Quoted post[/post]​

If you don't like it "Why dont u do sumthin"

 

[madame_zora]

Originally posted by prepstudinsc@Apr 13 2005, 11:37 AM
She won't be a bitchin' mom, she'll just be a bitch. Actually, she'll just contribute another child to the world that will grow up to be trash, like it's mother and father...they are both some skanky people. They look dirty and seem like they would smell if you got too close to them.

[post=300248]Quoted post[/post]​

That's pretty good, Prep!

I sell costumes to strippers. I take a bag of my items into the clubs and girls try them on and buy them right out of the suitcase. After a long night, they come home smelling like cigarettes, sweat and God-knows-what-you-know-you-re-not-supposed-to-be-smelling-because-they-only-tried-them-on-over-their-g-strings-but-you-still-smell-it-anyway.
I like to refer to it as "whore from the night before" syndrome. Somehow, I think it would apply to Brittney.

 

[steve319]

Off-topic...or, well, more like on-topic...ummmm...

Anyway, I have something to celebrate!

Had a student return to class tonight who had dropped out before the holidays. He wrestles with severe depression and has had a bad time of it the past few months. Looks like, at least for the moment, he's out of the depths.

So tonight I'm all about the celebrating!

 

[steve319]

Returning briefly to the Britney Spears discussion, here's a cut-and-paste of today's Borowitz Report. Hope it makes you smile.

BRITNEY'S HUSBAND REPRODUCING AT AN ALARMING RATE
Explosion of Federlines is Taxing World Resources, Experts Fear

Two days after pop tart Britney Spears announced that she was pregnant with her first child, environmental experts around the globe warned that Ms. Spears' husband, Kevin Federline, is reproducing at an alarming rate.

Some of the world's most renowned experts in the field of ecology, attending a world environmental conference in Buenos Aires, said that by most measures Mr. Federline was reproducing at a pace that was not ecologically sustainable.

"Mr. Federline had two children by his fiancée, Shar Jackson, whom he left to hook up with Britney," said Dr. Zang Liangyong of Beijing University. "He has produced three offspring in short order, and we ignore this trend at our peril."

Another conference attendee, Dr. Torvald Vigeland of the University of Oslo, worried that if Mr. Federline continues to reproduce at such a torrid pace his offspring may eventually produce more greenhouse gases than most developing nations.

"I know I am not alone in saying this, but Kevin Federline may already be in violation of the Kyoto Treaty," Dr. Vigeland said.

In Washington, Vice President Dick Cheney said that a "looming Federline explosion" would put an even greater strain on the nation's petroleum reserves, making it "imperative" that the U.S. begin drilling for oil in the Arctic Wildlife Refuge at once.

For his part, Mr. Federline, seemingly unruffled by the doomsday predictions that his unprecedented fertility has provoked, issued the following statement to the press: "Whatever."

Elsewhere, West Virginia named English its official language, forcing President Bush to cancel a speech there.

The Borowitz Report