Here are some Milton Berle big cock jokes from my Guide:
* His friend comedian George Burns belonged to the same Hollywood club, and his locker was next to Berle's. Burns said things such as: "Milton Berle is the only man who could get a standing ovation for taking a shower." He also wrote: "Milton went out with everybody from silent film stars to Marilyn Monroe. You'll notice I use the phrase 'went out', but that's not exactly what I mean, because I do a clean act. Think of a train going into a tunnel. And based on Milton's reputation, this train was so popular with the passengers that he couldn't keep it in the station."
* Phil Silvers, another club member, encountered Milton Berle in the rest room. As he stood next to him at the urinal, he looked over and said: "You better feed that thing, otherwise it's likely to turn on you."
* According to actor Dick Shawn: "I didn't have my glasses on when Milton Berle stepped into the steam room and opened his robe up. It looked like he had a small child hiding between his legs, until I put my glasses on and found out it was his cock."
* At the Hollywood club one day Milton Berle and Forrest Tucker were there, and men started betting money on who had the biggest cock. Milton said: "No way, this is silly. I've been through this before. We're all men here." Jackie Gleason said: "Aw, come on Milton, just take out enough to win."
* Saturday Night Live writer Alan Zweibel recalled: I learned early on that he was the guy with the big dick, the biggest in show business. So I started writing big dick jokes about him. Now fast-forward a few years and I'm in Milton Berle's dressing room at Saturday Night Live. He's sitting on a couch behind a coffee table and he's wearing a very short kind of bathrobe. Somehow I just say to him: "You know, it's so weird that I'm here talking to you, because for years I was writing jokes about your dick." He says to me: "You mean you never saw it?" I said: "Uh, no, I don't believe I did." Then he said: "Well, would you like to?" And before I had a chance to say whatever, he parts his bathrobe and he just takes out this--this anaconda. He lays it on the table and I'm looking into this thing, right? I'm looking into the head of Milton Berle's dick. It was enormous. It was like a pepperoni. And he goes: "What do you think of the boy?" And I'm looking right at it and I go: "Oh, it's really, really nice." At which point Gilda Radner opens the door to the dressing room, and this honestly happened! She opens the door to his dressing room just in time to see me looking into his dick saying: "Yeah, it's really, really nice." I tell Milton: "I'll talk to you later", closed the door, and left...
* Milton Berle died at age 93 in 2002. At the Friars Club memorial roast Freddie Roman remarked: We are here to honor Milton Berle, who passed away on March 27th. On May 1st and May 2nd, his penis will be buried.
* His friend comedian George Burns belonged to the same Hollywood club, and his locker was next to Berle's. Burns said things such as: "Milton Berle is the only man who could get a standing ovation for taking a shower." He also wrote: "Milton went out with everybody from silent film stars to Marilyn Monroe. You'll notice I use the phrase 'went out', but that's not exactly what I mean, because I do a clean act. Think of a train going into a tunnel. And based on Milton's reputation, this train was so popular with the passengers that he couldn't keep it in the station."
* Phil Silvers, another club member, encountered Milton Berle in the rest room. As he stood next to him at the urinal, he looked over and said: "You better feed that thing, otherwise it's likely to turn on you."
* According to actor Dick Shawn: "I didn't have my glasses on when Milton Berle stepped into the steam room and opened his robe up. It looked like he had a small child hiding between his legs, until I put my glasses on and found out it was his cock."
* At the Hollywood club one day Milton Berle and Forrest Tucker were there, and men started betting money on who had the biggest cock. Milton said: "No way, this is silly. I've been through this before. We're all men here." Jackie Gleason said: "Aw, come on Milton, just take out enough to win."
* Saturday Night Live writer Alan Zweibel recalled: I learned early on that he was the guy with the big dick, the biggest in show business. So I started writing big dick jokes about him. Now fast-forward a few years and I'm in Milton Berle's dressing room at Saturday Night Live. He's sitting on a couch behind a coffee table and he's wearing a very short kind of bathrobe. Somehow I just say to him: "You know, it's so weird that I'm here talking to you, because for years I was writing jokes about your dick." He says to me: "You mean you never saw it?" I said: "Uh, no, I don't believe I did." Then he said: "Well, would you like to?" And before I had a chance to say whatever, he parts his bathrobe and he just takes out this--this anaconda. He lays it on the table and I'm looking into this thing, right? I'm looking into the head of Milton Berle's dick. It was enormous. It was like a pepperoni. And he goes: "What do you think of the boy?" And I'm looking right at it and I go: "Oh, it's really, really nice." At which point Gilda Radner opens the door to the dressing room, and this honestly happened! She opens the door to his dressing room just in time to see me looking into his dick saying: "Yeah, it's really, really nice." I tell Milton: "I'll talk to you later", closed the door, and left...
* Milton Berle died at age 93 in 2002. At the Friars Club memorial roast Freddie Roman remarked: We are here to honor Milton Berle, who passed away on March 27th. On May 1st and May 2nd, his penis will be buried.