1. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    Have anyone else ever reached a point where they made a conscious decision where they had just become so sick of pointless sex that it was just better to go without?
    But there gets a point where after the rush and charge of the sex dies down. There is that inescapable emptyness that comes over you, even before your heartbeat returns to normal and the sweat has a chance to dry.
    It's a bleak feeling.
    Has anyone else ever reached that point and does it end?
     
  2. bentos

    bentos Member

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    i had it breifly where as soon as you finished it just seems utterly pointless and shallow. The way it stopped for me was i found a girl i loved and so every bit of physicality meant something. Thats all i can tell you based on my experience.

    i hope you do beat it though because its one of the worst feelings in the world.
     
  3. Gillette

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    Here.

    Been about 15 months now. Had that feeling of bleakness with a few. The ex was unique in that rather than feeling bleak immediately afterwards I would be angry before we even finished.

    Sex with someone who isn't worth my time isn't worth my time.
     
  4. Principessa

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    OMG! Are you mad, woman? :confused: If you stop having meaningless sex male hearts will be breaking across 7 continents! This could throw off the world financial market!
    tee hee hee I kid, :tongue:.

     
  5. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with my libido.
    I'm still masturbating twice a day and having cyber sex, but I can do without physical sex.
    I'm very much in the same boat as Gillette.
     
  6. exwhyzee

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    I quit having any sort of sexual contact last June when my ex moved out of town. Since then, Ive flirted a little, but no action to speak of. Ive had a few offers that I've not followed up on, in fact I am pretty clear with people I meet socially that I'm not interested in more. I suppose I just feel empty about it all. I can jack off if I need to reduce sexual tensions (been doing that almost daily for the past 10 months). I'm sure the dry spell will break one day if the right person comes along. In the meantime, I sort of find solace in maintaining my individual identity and stoic disposition ... but in reality it does feel very pretty bleak (shhh dont tell anyone!) especially on weekends and holidays. In spite of that bleakness, its just not worth it to hook up with anyone...I'm not that desparate...not yet...haha.
     
  7. cutieforuboy

    cutieforuboy New Member

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    it happens some times lol
     
  8. dolfette

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    after coming out of a long term relationship i decided i needed time alone.
    it started off with 6 months but ended up being 3 years.

    and i don't regret it. not one iota.

    the energy i put into getting to know myself, instead of getting to know a few more men, was well spent. and when i was ready, i knew what i was looking for. my mr right is now making me very happy.

    if you do it, think of it as empowering. you're making a commitment to yourself. pamper your body, explore your mind and come out the other side a happier person.

    my two pence worth.
     
  9. dolfette

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    oh, and if you really want to do this?
    don't fret over those who say you're crazy or it's a waste.
    what's right for you is what's right for you and they have no right to try to impose their values on you.
     
  10. Catchoftheday

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    I was feeling a little bit down before I read this... now I've started to cry :frown1::eek:
     
  11. D_CountdeGrandePinja

    D_CountdeGrandePinja Account Disabled

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    TO EXWHYSEE, I know what you mean; I enjoy my solitude but there are times when you just want to be with someone other than your body -

    if you are ever in So Fl - give a nod - have a good day - keep smiling.
     
  12. D_Kaye Throttlebottom

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    I have never found comfort in "a bird in the hand..." mantra.

    Pleasure is not love. We are wired needing love and spend forever trying to substitute our wants in place of what we need.

    I liked being celibate, it gave me the chance to focus on the things that I really wanted to do, instead of forever compromising and taking up the guy's interests in my life.

    If someone is questioning that you aren't interested in sex, they aren't listening to you, they are daring you to prove them wrong.

    It's frustrating for sure though, when you think about all the other dynamics that are at work when you are physical with someone you love and that loves you.

    Their smell, the way they go to bed on their back and wake up on their side because they spooned you in the middle of the night or woke on top of you. The way they hold you. The annoying morning bathroom rituals with the freaking q-tips (Dude are you trying are trying to find a g-spot in your ear with that thing?)...Getting up in the morning before you woke up, cause he remembered the fresh onion bagel that you like at the bakery (even if it gave him a chance to sneak a cigarette...you knew...but he didn't know you knew...lifestyle changes are tough). I remember more about those things ... aside of how big his cock was or that he cycled and had a lot stamina. You remember that he got pissed off at wastefulness, preferred boxed wine because it wouldn't go bad before a bottle would if he hadn't finished it by himself.

    All of those things are important, not as much as whether someone knows how to mechanically push your pleasure spots and make you spasm or not.
     
  13. B_dumbcow

    B_dumbcow New Member

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    :kiss:
     
  14. exwhyzee

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    Thanks man. Oftentimes its nice to be near someone, just to be near someone. Sex isnt always a requisite. I've been at the other end of the spectrum, caught in a relationship that is toxic and felt just as "bleak" and alone.

    It cuts both ways ...
     
  15. Hand_Solo

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    I've had sex twice in the last year and a half, which is about as close to celibacy as I'd ever want to come, far closer in fact. It's made me pretty miserable.
     
  16. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    I might have to re think the celibacy when I move to the States.
     
  17. Gillette

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    How does location play a factor?
     
  18. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    Sorry Sweet,
    Just being ironic.
     
  19. Drifterwood

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    It depends what you want sex to mean. I can be happy with it having no meaning other than of itself, an expression of sexuality and sexual need, no more no less.
     
  20. Gillette

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    Power to you.

    That doesn't cut it for everyone.
     
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