Cellphone cameras

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AOX3: A long while back, i made a post, talking about how I had to avoid the gym I had been attending, because one of my lesser endowed friends told his wife I flaunted my big dick walking around the locker room, and it made him fel uncomfortable. His wife told my wife, who then bought me a home gym set, so I could work out at home. I have done that for almost two years, but due to repetitive back muscles strains, I decided I needed the help of a professional trainer to continue my workouts and avoid injury. So far so good. I have been going to a new gym, and since I never intentionally flaunt my wares, I felt comfortable in the new environs. I have made a couple of friends, some of whom attend my church.

Two weeks ago, one of my wife's friends from church made a comment to her about why she is smiling all the time, and referred to my endowment. This once again, caused the spectre of marital jealously to raise its head and I was closely questioned about my association with this women, who I do not even know. It turns out her husband attends the gym I go to, and apparently, while I was getting dressed, he, or someone he knows, snapped a picture of my cock hanging down quite impressively after a hot shower.

To make a long story short, somebody anonymously e-mailed my wife the picture with a cute letter exhorting her to thank god daily for her blessings. She showed it to me, and notwithstanding that the pic is flattering, I am completely pissed that a naked pic of me and my cock and my face is apparently making the rounds of people I know. I went to gym management yesterday and told them, and they said they had a policy against camphones in the lockerroom, but they would post signs today.

Do I laugh it off and just let it slide? DO I make an issue out of it and confront the fellow I suspect took the pic? I am at a loss on how to deal with this. Although my wife and I occasionally frequent nude beaches and such, and she knows I am not the slightest bit sensitive about nudity, the fact is that nobody knows me there. In this instance, not only is my cock swinging freely, my face is readily reconizeable. I am proud of what I have, but I certainly do not want to be on public display.

Suggestions?

 

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dr_drew2: While I enjoy a pic of a hung guy like anyone, and have taken notice of hung guys in the locker room, this conduct is wrong. I think you have to confront him. It'd be one thing if he took the pic and showed his wife. But this is circulating. While the former is wrong, the latter is inexcusible. You have no way of knowing where that pic is now or the scope of the folks that may have seen it.

I'm sorry to hear you have to deal with such drama.. but I can't see a way for you really not deal with this now that you know about it.

D

 

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pghcyclist: I think the problem of confronting him is that you only suspect him. If you are wrong, it could cause a scene and more problems.

From what you posted, it seems to me that you do know a few things. First, you know your wife's friend who confronted her at church. You could confront this person and ask about the picture, explaining your feelings, and ask what that person knows.

Also, it is probably possible to decrypt who sent the "anonymous" e-mail. You might also contact the site that owns the anonymous e-mail, explain the circumstances and ask them to unmask the anonymous person. This would allow you to confront that person. It seems to me that using an anonymous e-mail service to forward an unauthorized nude photo of you that caused you personal embarrassment is probably a violation of the anonymous e-mail agreement.

If this is a rumor going around your church, you may want to speak to your pastor about it. It seems like there is some moral lesson here that he might want to impart to his pastoral flock.

Lastly, if you do confront your suspect, I'd do it in a non-accusatory way. Perhaps you could mention your wife's jealousy and how this behavior impacts your marriage, then ask if he knows anything about it. If he's the guy, even if he denies it, guilt is a powerful weapon.

Good luck.

Scott

 

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tracksuitboy: Scott has a good point about tracing the email; if the purpetrator can be established then clearly you can confront him knowing you have your man. Unfortunately, confronting the person without proof will only result in a denial; however, there is the possibility that he may feel guilty enough to stop what he is doing. I really feel for you AOX3 because the purpetrator is a total bastard, taking a nude photo of you is utterly reprehensible and possibly illegal. I do not know how U.S. law stands on this but if you do find the man responsible I would seek legal advice to see if there could be a criminal prosecution or a civil suit (that would teach the shithead). Again if you do find the man, then I would go back to the gym owners with your proof to see if they will ban him from the place.

Sorry I cannot be of further help but I had to post something to show support for you and complete disgust with the bastard.

 

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edeneyes: More importantly, do you HAVE THE PIC? ;D

 

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AOX3: Update:
I decided to wait and do nothing. Yesterday, the wife of the guy I suspected asked my wife if she got her email, and then effusively told my wife how lucky she is, and confided that her husband was jealous of my 'gift', because he was only packing about 5 inches. My wife tried to laugh it off, but came home and told me about it. Now, I am torn, apparently my wife was the only one she sent the picture to, so my fears of widespread exposure seems to be misplaced. At any rate, I am now tempted to punch the guy in the nose, or at the very least angrily confront him. Any advice? These folks are semi-friends and if I give him the benefit of the doubt, that he was only trying to be funny, should i destroy the friendship, expose his 'shortcomings', or simply let it slide?

p.s. Yes I have a copy of the pic, but I have no intention of spreading my outrage by posting it.

 

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tracksuitboy: I think it depends on whether you want any semi-friendship with these people in the future (but given this man's actions I am not sure that's wise but that's not for me to comment on).

If you do not want to have any friendship, then by all means smack the bastard or, at the very least, forcefully let him know that you know that it was him.  On the other hand, if it is desirous for whatever reason to have some sort of friendship, then perhaps "have a quiet word" and let him know that you know.  Moreover, tell him that not only is it wrong to snap photos like that (and I am still convinced what he has done is illegal) but that it was very distasteful of him to email it to you wife.  I know nothing of your circumstances, but is there a possibility that co-workers of your wife or children at home could have had access to the email?

Well that's my little input AOX (for what it's worth).  Please let us know how the situation is resolved and good luck.

[quote author=AOX3 link=board=relationships;num=1069433401;start=0#5 date=11/25/03 at 05:01:32]Yes I have a copy of the pic, but I have no intention of spreading my outrage by posting it.[/quote]
Damn!

PS. Have adjusted my post because, as PGH says below, smacking him could well lead you into trouble! Sorry that I even vaguely hinted at smacking him!!! :-[

 

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pghcyclist:

Update:
I decided to wait and do nothing. Yesterday, the wife of the guy I suspected asked my wife if she got her email, and then effusively told my wife how lucky she is, and confided that her husband was jealous of my 'gift', because he was only packing about 5 inches. My wife tried to laugh it off, but came home and told me about it. Now, I am torn, apparently my wife was the only one she sent the picture to, so my fears of widespread exposure seems to be misplaced. At any rate, I am now tempted to punch the guy in the nose, or at the very least angrily confront him. Any advice? These folks are semi-friends and if I give him the benefit of the doubt, that he was only trying to be funny, should i destroy the friendship, expose his 'shortcomings', or simply let it slide?

Punching him would be assault and could land you in jail. Even if a jury decides you were justified, it would be a major pain for you.

I think it is perfectly appropriate to confront him. I understand you are angry, and justifyable so, but I'd advise not letting your anger get the better of you. There is a technique called "fighting fair" -- always start a sentence with "I", not "you". Talk about your feelings and how this affected you. By following these rules, you don't put the guy immediately on the defensive, but instead let him know how you feel and he has to deal with your feelings rather than your accusations.

For example, if you were to say, "I know you took the pictures and you are a real asshole and don't you have any boundaries and you violated club rules..." verses "Your wife told my wife about the picture. I wanted to tell you that that picture really bothered me. I was embarrassed. I had thought we were friends, but it caused some tension in my marriage. I don't try to flaunt what I got, and people have accused me of that before. It makes me feel bad, and I stopped going to the gym because of it. I recently went back and now this has happened. I'm angry and I hope you understand how much this incident has hurt me."

It may not be as emotionally satisfying as punching the guy or screaming at him, but in the long run it is probably a better way to deal with the situation.

Hope that helps,
Scott

 

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ruscular: I run a gym, and as that I would personally go to the owner of the gym and ask that this person be ban from the gym. If I was in charge of the gym I would not want that type of person around in the gym. I do not let anyone take picture of the members inside the gym anywhere unless they have that person permission let alone a naked snapshot of member of the members(pun intended) without the info. I have discuss this concern because people with cell phone want to leave their phone on the desk when working out but insist leaving them where they can see them. I put the cellphone in a box out of view and one of them threw a fit. My gut reaction is why must it be in the view of the gym?
Gym owners will soon be getting this as a continual problem everywhere. I had this same person accidently left their cell phone in the tanning room for the next person. there are fake cell phone that are really hidden camera on the market out there. So who to say what they are?

If I were another member I definately dont not want to work out with that kind of violator snapping picture everywhere.

It sadden me that you allow other people be the reason for your not wanting to workout in a commercial gym. I would at least tell the gym owner the situation, and if they are willing to work with you than you dont need them. But keep in mind that most gym owner do want your business.
I got sent home from a gym because this one gym owner said my package was sticking out too much, and I went and found another gym.

 

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Andrea: Unfortunately for everyone involved I am afraid this sort of thing is going to become MUCH more common.
Cameras are so small now, and appearing in such unsuspecting places we must all start to get used to the fact pictures will be taken. In a sense it may help to provide an ever more liberal society, since none of us will ever be sure if we are under surveillance or not.
A woman may be photographed in an innocent embrace in a pub or night club and within minutes the picture has been twice around the world and everyone she does (and even doesn't) know has seen it.

Andrea xxx

 

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ORCABOMBER: Good point Andrea.

AOX3, I think this 'man', if that's the correct word, is very shallow, maybe you can laugh it off with time, but it throws a masive spanner in your friendship. Lets put it this way, if you took a picture of his wife, because she had fat jugs, would he be able to laugh it off? I think it's liberty taking and quite offensive. But whatever you do, I support your choice.

Y'know this opens up a can of worms, because Voyeurism is unwanted, and unprecidented (to the average person who doesn't get their kicks of catching people). Yet as Andrea says, the technology is becoming much more available, I mean, at uni, phone cameras are used by a few female friends I know to catch pictures of each other, but say they wanted to go "covert with them", then what? Or even spy cameras. It isn't a massive problem, but I think if you become a target, things get very horrible very quickly.

 

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AOX3: I bumped into this 'friend' at the gym last night, and after I was finished with my workout, I went and asked him what was the deal with his wife sending that pic of me to my wife? He immediately went into complete apology mode. Said he took the pic as a joke, because his wife had said she thought I was hung and he mentioned that from what he had seen at the gym, she was right. He then told me my cock was longer soft than his was hard, and although he was embarrassed to tell me that, that I should be proud. He said he took it for his wife, for her eyes only, and he had no idea, it would be proliferated, especially to my wife, as an email attachment.

I told him I was thinking about kicking his ass, or at least telling the gym management who took the pic, he again immediately apologized over and over, promised he would never do such things again, and begged me to forgive him. I asked, "how would you like it if I posted a pic of your little weenie to your friends?" he again apologized profusely. I thought the guy was gonna cry.

In spite of my early anger and outrage, I guess I will let this fellow slide and not seek any retribution, I'll just be the 'bigger' man (pun intended).

I told my wife about this and she just said she felt sorry for his wife, and that he was an asshole. Once again, my member has caused consternation, but once again, these things too, will pass.

The gym has posted signs saying that cell cameras are banned from anywhere beyond the front desk and they have put up these little locker things for storage.

Maybe I should drop by his house for a little 'chat' with his wife, for payback. LOL just kidding. I bet the next time I see this couple at church, he will look a the floor and she will be looking a little bit higher.

All's well that ends well, I suppose.

 

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tracksuitboy: Well done Mr AOX! You have made the little shit feel so guilty he'll find it difficult to look you in the eyes again (and hopefully not your dick either!) and you have the moral high-ground!

 

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str8_nnj: AOX3     I think it's a matter of privacy. Just because the ability is there, doesn't mean it's an act that well become common place. Taking photo's of someone and using them without permission should involve civil suit. The clod who mentioned it to his wife knew damn well it would get back to your wife. He had alternative motives.
For him the realization of a possible law suit made him very apologetic (sp)..only after his fling through childish glee did he realize it could cost him plenty (and so did the gym..thus the new signs).
There have already been suits involving phonecams,the precident has been set.....
Perhaps you should carry a book with you to church with a clear title..."Privacy and the Law" under your arm
and I'm sure his prayers will have a different meaning that AM...

 

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ORCABOMBER: AOX3, excellent. He sounds like at least he's sorry, but ultimately I hope he was ashamed enough not to try anyhign that stupid in future.

 

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AOX3: As some of might know from y previous posts, I AM a lawyer. Plus I am a pretty big guy, and rather muscular despite my advanced age (47). I chose not to threaten a lawsuit, although I am sure it was implied by my profession, but rather did a little of the physical intimidation thing. It always helps when you are 100% right.

Although in my anger I did consider suing this guy, I would not advise ANYONE to engage in litigation of this nature unless they had NEVER posted ANY pics of themselves, which I have, although never my face in any naked shots. To do so would invite web scrutiny and alot of potential embarrassment.

I seriously doubt he would try such a stunt again, and one thing he is fully aware of, is that I WILL kick his ass, liability be damned, if anything like this involving me ever comes up again.

My wife said pass it off, no harm no foul. She rather enjoys, as she has throughout our marriage, the fact that other ladies may be jealous. Now she has at least one friend who has out front stated that she should count her blessings. We'll see this weekend, when we have a church christmas party at my home, these folks were invited months ago. If they show up, which I doubt, we'll have to see if any conversation arises, and if so, i will respond by pointing out that he has a small dick, and is either jealous or simply inadequate. I have had years of experience dealing with some of these male jealousy issues as many of us on this board have. My wife simply said to stay away from his wife, which I understand.

Should be an interesting party.

AOX3

 

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ewing: I live in a large metro area in the midwest. Two of the major health/exercise club chains in the area have banned ALL cell phones from locker rooms because of the possibility of phone cameras and their inappropriate use. I'm sure as picture phones catch on, more and more health/exercise clubs will follow suit.

 

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jerkin4-10: good for you dude...confronting the guy...as a lawyer, you know that was clearly an invasion of your privacy and in your heart knew it was the guy...with all this new technology...i hope we have the wisdom to use it properly...