Chat Etiquette

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Rikter8, Mar 4, 2007.

  1. Rikter8

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    Last nights Chat stirred up some tensions between some of the established members, and some of the new folks.

    First - This site IS for all regions of the world, and you ARE welcome here to participate in the descussions. This is not a U.S. site only.

    Secondly - Sometimes it can SEEM like the older members have this group click, but that notion should be dismissed. People get to know people on here, some even in person, so they tend to stick with who they like.
    It is NOT a display of rejection amongst new members.
    Do the minimum of filling out your profile, and you'll find many more friends quickly with the same tastes as you.

    Third - The Language Barrier. I'm acceptant to other languages, and I think its very cool that we have other folks on here that speak many.
    Please keep in mind that there are other folks that do not understand these languages.

    Here's where I need the Gal's and Guys opinion:
    If you are in a room with other folks carrying on a discussion or topic, then 2 other people walk up and start talking in a native toungue which you do not understand, do you consider that rude?
    I was ok for a while, and then it just got carried away.
    A few lines were no problem...but then it seemed to consume the screen.
    People were dropping out because they didn't speak spanish.
    Then the taunts where certain groups have the biggest penis, and your jealous and all that other crap. Please, that doesn't work on me.

    I feel if your going to carry on a long conversation with someone else, in a foreign dialect, that you should have the courtesy to do it in private.
    To continuously speak in a foreign toungue in a primarily english speaking chatroom is just plain rude, and ignorant (when your doing it On purpose).

    What's your thoughts?
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Nice points, C.

    Any long, drawn out conversation in chat would be best done in private, whether in English, Spanish or Mandarin just as a courtesy to others who are currently using the chat.

    Ideally, several unrelated conversations can go on at the same time without being disruptive (it can take some practice to keep from getting confused) but when a couple of people have a lot to say to oneanother and the rest of the chat is not involved, they should make their conversation private.
     
  3. SpoiledPrincess

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    The room is for group discussion, when on a site such as this where the lingua franca is English it is rude to indulge in length and garrulous conversations in a language which excludes the majority of the room members. The chatters know that their conversation precludes anyone else joining in. If two room members are chatting at length about something that is personal to them on a subject which others can't join it it's also polite if they take that into private. However, if two people are chatting away ten to the dozen about a subject which has universal interest I see that as no problem, anyone can join in with them, that's not a private conversation.
    I have no problem with anyone having the odd few sentences in another language, showing off a bit or joking around, but think of the room as a dinner party (this can be quite a stretch of the imagination) you wouldn't use a language there that most of the guests couldn't understand.

    On the cliques, sometimes chat rooms do form cliques, the older members know one another and can see a new member as something of an interloper, who knows why, maybe they're worried that the dynamics of the room will change, maybe they don't like what they feel is a newbie straying onto 'their territory', I like to think it's simply that 'regulars' can sometimes be less than welcoming to newbies simply because so many people visit a chat room and are never seen again that 'regulars' are a little reluctant to invest time in someone they will never chat to again. However everyone on a site was a newbie there once and I take time and trouble to be welcoming to a newbie who tries to make an effort to chat. As Kotchanski said no room member is more important than another and length of time on a site shouldn't confer any benefits, for instance tolerance of nasty behaviour.
    And while we're at it, I'm all for a little friendly banter spiced with a little bitchiness but I think personal and bitter arguments should be kept out of the room, no one wants to see two people going for each other's throats, chat rooms are above all supposed to be FUN.
     
  4. Lex

    Lex
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    A few points:

    First, I think the chat needs to be open to languages and we need to be respectful of that. Someone(s) chatting in a different language is not rude to me. I am chatting in a different language (than theirs) whenever I am in the room.

    Second, as someone who does not like to PM in the chat room, I can say that I have seen the chat be able to handle several conversations at the same time. I do have extended conversations with several people at once in the open room and direct anyone who PMs me to take it to the open room and ask me there (or not at all).

    Thirdly, I think the chatters should and do make the rules for how the chat flows. I appreciate anyone's input, and if you never chat, how can you say how the chat should flow?

    Many who chat won't even see this thread. A lot of the chatters come here to chat not read the board.

    Lex- chatting here for 4 years or so now.
     
  5. B_big dirigible

    B_big dirigible New Member

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    That's a general board problem. Can better behavior realistically be expected in chat than on the board?
     
  6. No_Strings

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    I step in if somethign really perks my interest, but I'm usually quite content to idly sit back and watch the chat roll in, I feel no great need to actively participate

    That said, is does make me look like a lurker, it doesn't help that I often forget I'm even in there :tongue:

    Insightful thread for me
     
  7. Mr. Snakey

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    I conduct myself as if i were in a real room and people are in conversation. I wouldnt just interupt someone in the middle of a conversation. :cool:
     
  8. Principessa

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    I'm so glad you bought this up Rikter8. I am frequently in Chat and last night was VERY UNCOMFORTABLE & DISTURBING for me, for a few reasons.

    1) I wasn't that bothered by the non-English discussions as they were rather brief; and seemed not to involve more than 3 people. Though I could be wrong as the only other language I can read even a little bit is Italian. :tongue: Had they gone on for an hour I probably would have logged out as I had no way to contribute to the conversation. I didn't assume they were talking about me though, I didn't view it as "that type" of rude.

    2) I am American, but I enjoy Chatting with people across the globe. I like learning new things about different countries and cultures.

    3) The most disruptive and disturbing thing for me was the eternal battle of "Ray Haters vs. Alleged Ray Lovers" This nasty battle went on for at least an hour maybe more.
    a) Some know that I have the cell phone numbers of a select few mods. Those numbers are for phone sex :flirt: NOT to tattle or rat out people in Chat!
    b) Having people that are in the Ray Hater camp IM me to tell me what awful things he had allegedly done to them or their children did not make me want to join their camp. He has done NOTHING to me.

    I am that odd or perhaps just naive breed of human that believes until someone hurts me or I actually witness them doing something I find wrong or morally/ethically reprehensible; I will be trusting and friendly. Yes, that has on occasion gotten me into trouble. However, for the most part it works for me and I am not about to change my entire modus operandi to please a bunch of people I really don't know. :smile:

    4) Reasons I have logged out of Chat
    • lengthy conversations about individual tech issues (I like gadgets but I don't understand geek speak :frown1: sorry dudes)
    • the English Royal Family and their health problems dating back to the Magna Carta!
    • US Politics
    • The veritable plethora of problems with the United States education and health care systems
    5) I don't know if it's possible but, I really think you should be required to fill out your profile before entering Chat.
    a) As a woman with both pics and a profile posted being approached by a man via Chat IM with neither posted feels a bit like I am being stalked. It's CREEPY!!! It's creepy in that, "the call is coming from inside the house way." I know the ladies know what I mean.

    6) Okay, I may offend here, but don't beg for someone to humiliate your small penis on a large penis support site. :confused: It's kind of like me looking for a husband at a gay bar. WTF?!?


     
  9. Lex

    Lex
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    People just don't understand this. I am friends with several people whom some do not like a lot. I can and will only go by what people have done to me.
     
  10. MidwestGal

    MidwestGal Member

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    Well, I was in chat last night. The only thing that really bothered me was the length of the conversation, it went on for more than 10 minutes and i thought it disrupted the flow of the room.

    I have no objections to people speaking their native language but I just think it would have been more curtious to go to private chat or create another room, when only 2-3 people were participating in that conversation. I understood some of it but it just takes me too long to translate to get anything out of the conversation.

    I do not think the parties involved were trying to be rude, in fact they did apologize later in the chat. I would like to offer an apology to them if they thought I was being rude. i wasn't trying to be just trying to point out the fact that some of the people in the room thought it was disruptive.

    Anyhow, that is just my 2 cents on the topic. If they were translating as they went along it would have been much better. Not offering to translate after the fact. No big deal, I just started surfing other sites until they were done!

    But I am interested in seeing the responses here.
     
  11. krashdown

    krashdown Member

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    This is a great thread for newer guys like myself who have never been in chat but have thought about joining in. It's nice to know before hand what is frowned upon. Thanks!
     
  12. Rikter8

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    You said it better than I tried to.

    I agree initially they werent trying to be rude. Then when they didnt get the hints... then they got rude.
    I also was not trying to be rude, moreso trying to kid around as to say "Cmon guys...we don't understand what your saying..."
    So If I came off as rude to the new overseas folks, I apologize. That wasn't my intent.

    NJQ, I didn't understand your last paragraph.
    I don't look for humiliation, it was thrown at me by a new poster with less than 10 posts, and an empty profile.
    If your going to insult me, then at least have the balls to identify yourself properly.
    I may not have a massive penis, nor have I ever claimed to be big, but I got a Whole Lotta Heart and I am who I say I am.
    I've said it before, and I'll say it again. It's not the Penis that makes the man.
     
  13. Rikter8

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    Its usually super friendly, lots of foolin around and having fun.

    Really.... Its a light hearted place. This was just one incident that occurred...

    Cmon in. Would love to talk Truck with you :)
     
  14. Lex

    Lex
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    To clarify, I was not talking about Ray. I was talking about the fact that I liek some people whom a lot of people dislike.

    I did not care that much for Ray.
     
  15. Lex

    Lex
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    Oh, my personal troll?

    He is cute if you are into the pretentious, snobby, nelly, bipolar, elitist type.

    I happen to be into MuscleBears.

    Alas.

    :rolleyes:
     
  16. Knockernail

    Knockernail Member

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    Well.

    1- I do not like when people talk about other people without naming, Rikter8. I am one of that couple. Caballo66 is the other one.

    2- Our conversation started in english. When we realised that we were spanish (from Spain, Europe. Rikter8) we interchanged some comments in spanish. We forgot the rest of the room. It was something unconscious. The number of sentences was no more than six or seven. I explained yesterday in the chat, i apologised and other ones comprehended it. You were there, Rikter8, so don´t say a few lines were no problem. It were a few lines.

    3- You cannot say that people went out because they don´t speak spanish. People come and go, and you have no idea why.

    4- The comments about the size of spanish cocks, were just jokes. I see that you didn´t catch it, but i don´t understand why you open a thread to tell it. I said "my cock is bigger than yours" (note that i did in english, ergo you understood it!) and Caballo asked "who is that dedicated to?" (english too) and i answered "everybody" (english, finally). The rest of the room understood it as a joke. I repeat, you didn´t.

    5- The only crap on the chat were your comments about what is white people and what is spanish people. When i asked you where is Spain, was when you left the chat. That explains everything for me. I see that you are a funny man even with your lessons in geography.

    6- I said that i think that english is the main language on this site. So i type in english. Everytime i log in the chat i speak in english, so i´m not the most speaker. I have used spanish sometimes, when others have addressed to me in spanish. Just a question of education, don´t bother.

    7- You´re asking for thoughts, and here is mine. The lack of culture and education you showed yesterday is being endorsed with your lies and insults. You cannot get anything but apoligizes, but you keep on looking for something. Something (i don´t know what) that you won´t get from me, Rikter8.

    If you want me out of this site, you will have to make it better.

    Besitos.


    Edit. Sorry Thatgal. Ten minutes? Ok.
     
  17. Rikter8

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    I was being courteous and not trying to single any specific person out.

    Couple is 2. Few is 3-4. It went on for 10 minutes.

    True, some leave on their own.
    When I receive a Instant message from a few people that say "Im outta here", I can.

    That's because you missed my point completely.
    It wasn't to say "Ha Ha", It was to ask for other users opinions.
    Hey, if im wrong, then so be it. I didnt feel that I was, and wanted to see if others felt the same way.
    It wasn't to say 'So and So were such jerks in chat last night' - read #1 above.

    Good, then you already understand that it was after 11PM EST here, and since I had been up since 4AM, I was tired, therefore I left chat.
    Seek your own advice - you dont know why people leave the chatroom.

    And there's nothing wrong with using your native tongue in chat to relate to others. When you enter and speak in english (Or whatever the majority of language that is in there), that's appreciated by all, as we can communicate effectively.

    I was looking for other peoples opinions, be them good, bad, indifferent.
    I don't want you off the site either. That is NOT my intent - At All!
    Apparently you feel singled out, which you shouldnt.
    I know this has happened before, and in previous discussion on this, it happens on other boards as well.
    It was simply a question on how people feel on this topic.

    C
     
  18. D_Roderick Beresford Stiffington IV

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    Tsk tsk people, now you're complaining because people are speaking a language you don't understand? The chat really is getting out of control lately with people trying to police themselves. You have a number of options you could have exercised in a situation like that. You can ignore the non-English speaking members if they're really so disruptive to you, or you can create and move into your own made room. These people have the right to communicate in their language if they want, it almost makes me sick how certain people think they run the chat room and will complain when they don't get what they want.

    I forget who wrote it, asking that people not come into the chat asking to be humiliated for their small size. Humiliation is a fetish, I don't care for it myself, but there are many fetishes here that some of us are into and some aren't. This is LPSG, we don't judge people remember? These people are free to come into the chat and see if there is anyone around into the same kind of things they are. The chat is open to any topic as long as people aren't being offended by reasonable things, not things such as other languages. I'm honestly getting sick of all the complaining and drama caused by a number of people in the chat room.

    This is a free website which you have the right to not come to. We of course want you here, but if things are *oh so bad* and don't come to your liking, please keep your mouth closed or stop exposing yourself to an environment you disagree with. Again, there have been numerous happenings in the chat as of late that are disgusting, vile and inappropriate that no member should have to deal with. But a number of members are trying to make non-issues as excuses to get their way.
     
  19. Lex

    Lex
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    I think a lot of people have missed Rikter's points entirely.

    The chat can and does police itself, usually. I live there, I know. And yes, shame on us for thinking that the members of the community should have a say into what is acceptable and what isn't (and the chat community is different than the board community both in composition and tone).

    The Mods are hyper-defensive these days and there really isn't a need.

    I say leave the chat stuff to HickBoy and Kotchanski who are and have always been regular chatters. The chat is not the same as the board and having 5 moderators turn up in the chat after someone complains just looks bad, especially when most aren't regular chatters and don't have the proper context within which to operate.
     
  20. b.c.

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    Yes, and a great thread for older members who have never chatted. Must be lots-o-laughs.
     
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