chatting sexually with others online

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by bigboi69, Nov 23, 2010.

  1. bigboi69

    bigboi69 New Member

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    Hey guys, need your thoughts here...

    Do you consider chatting with others privately online (swapping pics and sexual turn-ons) cheating? If you have something that turns you on and you go outside of a relationship to chat with others, is it a breach of trust with that partner?

    I have a feeling my partner is chatting with unknown people and it's really tearing me up inside.
     
  2. helgaleena

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    You need to tell your partner that. And it isn't cheating unless you both agree that it is. In any relationship the definition of cheating is up to the ones involved in it-- however many that is.

    If it involves sex, including flirting, both of you need to have a say. And everybody's comfort levels with things are going to vary.
     
  3. petite

    petite New Member

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    "It's cheating if you feel like you have to hide it."

    If you aren't comfortable with it, then that's okay. A lot of people aren't.

    Different people have different rules about this. It just depends. I've talked to people who think cybersex is cheating, and other people don't at all. You just need to talk to your partner about it.

    With us, we have different rules for different things, and my rules for him are more restrictive than his are for me. TheBF is actually much more open-minded about sexual stuff involving others than I am, and he doesn't mind that we have different rules for each other about things like that. His rules are so open, that I'd never take completely take advantage of them, since I'm more prudish than he is. For some reason, he likes the fact that I'm more jealous and possessive of him than he is of me, because it makes him feel desired, and I like the fact that he's so trusting of me, because I love the fact that he believes that I'm worthy of his trust and that he shows me that he knows that he's secure with me. It's unequal, and we both know that, and if that inequality bothered either of us, then we would abide by whatever new boundaries we both felt comfortable with, if either of us wanted to change them. The point is that we both know how each other feels about stuff like nudity and talking about sex online and interacting with strangers or people that we've become friends with, and we respect those boundaries.
     
    #3 petite, Nov 23, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2010
  4. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Ask him.
     
  5. boibitch87

    boibitch87 New Member

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    Everyone has different definitions of cheating. If you aren't comfortable with your partner doing it, then you need to speak with them about it. Don't assume that they know you don't like when they chat sexually with others. If your partner truly respects you, it won't be an issue and you shouldn't fear discussing it - but don't put it off, either. You shouldn't have to suffer internally when you don't have do.
     
  6. Mal_the_Wolf

    Mal_the_Wolf New Member

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    don't you think being on here might have the same effect on them?
     
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