cheated on *sigh*

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by bigdude, Jun 18, 2006.

  1. bigdude

    bigdude New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2005
    Messages:
    143
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Since I love you all and you seem to be so support when I find myself in these kinds of situations, I thought i'd share this with you

    broke up with the gf tonight on account that she was cheating on me with an ex and some guy she met while we were dating. I knew she hung out with both of these kids, but being the guy that I am I decided not to be the nosey intruding bf and to just trust her until I was provided any reason not to. Although I let her know later on how I felt about hanging out with exes (it's unexceptable IMO) and we both agreed on that. Well, a highly-trusted neutral party informed me tonight about what decietful acts were going on behind my back. Betrayal is a horrible feeling and it's funny how the male mind convinces himself to think in such irrational ways. I immediately began pondering "what did I not have to offer her, causing her to go in search of somebody else?" And then I realized how ridiculous this mindframe is. I'm a very intelligent person with amibitions in life, not to mention I'm thoughtful, generous and caring, handsome (model), well endowed (hence why I come to lpsg lol) and so on and so forth.

    I've always noticed how insecure my ex was, not to mention young and immature (17 as of a couple days ago and i'm 19). She'd always criticize obviously attractive girls by mumbling "ew she's nasty" as they'd pass by. She'd get jealous over every encounter I had with a female- even friends of mine, who I'd known LONG before her, and whom just happened to be female. I always figured this played a negative roll in our relationship but I never realized it would end up hurting ME as well

    Then all at once, it all sorta clicked. I rememebered one of my best friend's sister. This girl is absolutely stunningly gorgeous- I mean, very possibly one of the most attractive females I've ever laid my eyes on, in person OR on TV, internet, etc. Just amazing, and she seems to be such a brilliant character with so much more to offer too. And yea, she was cheated on as well. The lesson to be learned from this? It doesn't matter who you are- you could be rich and able to offer your significant other material items, or you could be a fantastic lover with a huge penis and able to get her off, you could be the ALPHA male of the century and STILL it doesn't even matter- when you're dealing with people who are as insecure as my ex, they will cheat on you regardless. Especially to the guys out there: don't find reason to blame yourself, it's sooo stupid. Cuz there are billions more girls out there who would be lucky as hell to have you.


    I guess I started this thread in need of sympathy and open arms from the good people here at LPSG, and I somehow flipped it around. Your condolences are still much obliged....cuz I know exactly what I need and want to hear, but hell i'm only human and I need reassurance and love too :redface:

    thank you all, even if you simply took the time to read this
     
  2. therunningman

    therunningman New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2005
    Messages:
    285
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Francisco Bay Area
    Hey man, I'm really sorry to hear that all of that happened to you. Here is a cyber hug -> hug. Hang in there kiddo. I wish you all the best.
     
  3. Ethyl

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,476
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    495
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Philadelphia (PA, US)
    Indeed, we are only human. I'm sorry this happened to you. Remember that what she did is a reflection on her character, NOT yours. You're young with plenty of time and prospects ahead of you. Enjoy!.:smile:
     
  4. OmahaBeef

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2006
    Messages:
    1,037
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    She'll get hers eventually...it all comes right back around...

    OmahaBeef
     
  5. mjcp

    mjcp New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2006
    Messages:
    285
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    20
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    upstate NY, USA
    Bro, at least she did it now and not five years down the line. In five years, she'll be busy cheating on someone else. I've found that cheaters tend to be the jealous type... they suspect that you're thinking the same things that they've been thinking about.
     
  6. Doc

    Doc New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2005
    Messages:
    328
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    all over now
    Yeah they usually are the jealous type, since they think of something they would obvioulsy think about doing themselves.

    But regardless of what cheaters are, or are not. The most important thing is, once they do it, you know that individual was never meant for you. How could they be. It gets more complicated with marriage and kids, but you don't have that headache, so move on and find someone that is a good fit. In more ways than one.:wink:
     
  7. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2006
    Messages:
    2,061
    Likes Received:
    0
    Betrayal is the worst kind of assualt on a person. She is hereby consigned to join Brutus and Judas in her canto. In the meantime, consider yourself lucky you discovered her duplicity now rather than later. Good riddance.
     
  8. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Messages:
    5,361
    Likes Received:
    6
    It doesn't have a thing to do with how hot you are, how big your dick is, how much money you have or how good you are in the sack. If she's wired that way, she's just gonna cheat. Sorry it happened to you. Hopefully the next one you get won't be such a whore.
     
  9. Dr Rock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2005
    Messages:
    3,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    did you actually agree with her beforehand that your relationship was meant to be exclusive?
     
  10. chicagosam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2006
    Messages:
    15,030
    Likes Received:
    761
    Sorry to hear that you are hurting, Big Dude. She just wasn't ready for you. It's best that this ended before you were hurt more. You list a lot of positive attributes above, and I am sure that the right person for you is out there. Give yourself some time to heal and then get back in the game—you have a lot to offer and are deserving of the love from a person worthy of you. There's the reassurance part. You said you needed a hug, here you go! With open arms—Big hug!:smile:
     
  11. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Messages:
    10,730
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    That twinge in your intestines
    Sorry this happened to you. Truly sad. It's happened to me, and hearing your tale reminds me of some of the most hurtful things that have ever happened to me.

    I hope you'll find a way to move on and be at peace.
     
  12. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2006
    Messages:
    18,200
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    863
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles (CA, US)
    One thing that everyone seems to have glossed over is that she is only 17, and barely, at that. We're not talking about a fully established woman who's self-aware and knows what she wants out of life. It sounds like fairly normal, fickle, teenage behaviour to me. Does it suck? YES! Could it be the beginning of a pattern of cheating later? Absolutely. But someone who JUST left the throes of 16, is hardly someone who could be held to fully comprehend being a committed partner.

    Better to find out she's like this now, and move on to someone that thinks of a relationship in the same way that you do. Sounds like you have a lot to offer the RIGHT person. :smile:
     
  13. Gisella

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    4,872
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    Oh man...hugs to you...:hug:

    Yes she still young and imature...and is nothing "wrong" with you as you already know.. but she is just flying around seraching looking etc...but i do believe that soon of later we get to taste the pain we cause others...

    Learn and forgive...:wink:
     
  14. Gisella

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    4,872
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    I'm allucinating or u had ask something about knowlegde of being in "exclusive" dating thing ???

    I do not understand those "american rules" of dating...at all...:rolleyes:

    Well...
     
  15. D_wrthswrth

    D_wrthswrth New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2006
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Seems like you are well on your way to healing man. I am sorry i f you are hurting. I say if because if because if you quiet yourself from all external drama and listen to what your heart is saying then you will know that most certainly she was not the woman for you. As many have mentioned you will certainly know true love when the time is right. you will find someone who is truly respectful of all that you are, inside and out. Love is not a physical emotion. There is definitely a physical component to it but deep love comes from not only being attracted to someone but also comes from a shared committment to help each other to grow, to be supportive. Being rich, hung, successful or whatever does not guarantee Love. What does guarantee Love, whether it is for a special someone or even those in your family, is compassion, selflessness and the strongest of desire to help those around you grow. At the risk of sounding like a hallmark card, Love starts inward and radiates out. The energy that is created from you knowing who you are and being the kindest and most compassionate person you can be, will no doubt attract the exact same qualities from that someone you are looking for. While I hate the fact that you are hurting I am not totally sorry that she cheated on you. Everything that happens to us is void of judgement. There is a positive and negative to every situation. We attach a judgement to whichever we feel we need to to grow, learn or become victim. This event is not a bad or good thing. On one hand it created pain, feelings of doubt about who you are and about your ability to judge the character of someone you loved. But on the other hand it also was a situation that taught you that there are kind people out here that are supportive. Hopefully it taught you that she was not the one. From your post man I am thinking you will be fine. As someone had mentioned, take some time off to grieve for the loss of a prospective companion. And in that time have fun, spend time with friends and family, and know that the person you truly are and truly want to be will attract a person to teach you how to Love and be loved. Best of luck my friend. I sense that you will be fine.
    Sincerely,
    Thor
     
  16. yhtang

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2006
    Messages:
    1,565
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    170
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    South East Asia
    Bigdude,

    You have expressed your feeling eloquently, which indicates to me that you have thought over this matter rather thoroughly.

    I always say that there should be trust in a relationship. If it is lost, the basis of a relationship would be lost too. When this happens it would be appropriate to call it to an end.

    Yes, breakups hurt every single time, but we live through it and we grow through it. I hope your pain passes relatively quickly. I have no doubt that you will rebound soon, you sound like a strong and sensible person to me.

    Many cyber hugs to you.
     
  17. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Messages:
    10,730
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    That twinge in your intestines
    No, that was Dr. Rock.

    I'm with you. I don't understand a fucking thing about anything...
     
  18. Gisella

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    4,872
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    :tongue: ops...

    HickbadBoy we kind of twins than ...:biggrin1:
     
  19. naughty

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    12,837
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Workin' up a good pot of mad!

    Which rules are you talking about? I'd rather stay home and watch old movies...
     
  20. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2006
    Messages:
    6,378
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    where the sun never sets
    I don't think anybody does.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted