Cheating Partner?

a3sthetic

Expert Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2015
Posts
252
Media
0
Likes
158
Points
53
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Today I was setting up my partner's iphone and I had to reset his phone settings because he forgot his encryption password.

By resetting it, it removed his home screen wall paper. I went into his photo reel looking for that photo when I came across a newly cropped old erect cock pic dated 3 months ago. The date of the photo was the day before we were due to come back from holidays visiting his parents.

I asked him about it and he looked on his phone and said it was an old pic he downloaded off his WhatsApp and it was one he'd sent me years ago. I asked why it was recropped then. He gave me some fluff answer about tidying up the picture.

It was the only photo he had with that date. He said he hasn't sent the pic to anyone or slept with anyone else.

If I was to guess, I'd say he cropped that pic to send to a lover to say how much he's looking forward to coming home to see them again.

I don't know how to find out the truth or if I am jumping to conclusions.

What do you all think?
 
1

1178303

Guest
I’m sure he did crop the photo for a reason. He may just be posting photos somewhere like here to join in the community. It may not be that he has a lover or is looking for one.

You may only find out by asking him.
 

OKCLane

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Sep 27, 2012
Posts
1,922
Media
307
Likes
6,655
Points
383
Location
Oklahoma City (Oklahoma, United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
The answer lies with your partner.
Not sure why he would volunteer that he hadn’t sent the cropped pic to anyone or slept with anyone unless your tone was accusatory.
You need to have a serious conversation and our opinions are really of limited value.
 
  • Like
Reactions: flooble

a3sthetic

Expert Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2015
Posts
252
Media
0
Likes
158
Points
53
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
I have been discussing it with him. He reassures me it's nothing and that the idea has never come in his head. His ex cheated on him for years and he said he doesn't need the stress of juggling let alone throwing away what he has.

He said he's deleted all his nudes from his phone now so there is no chance of future misunderstandings. Not sure if that makes him more innocent or guilty acting really.

I guess all I can do is trust him but keep my radar silently on.
 
  • Like
Reactions: OKCLane

winesthel945

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jan 19, 2016
Posts
559
Media
13
Likes
1,896
Points
313
Location
San Francisco (California, United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
You should probably have a serious conversation about whether you are both still in the same place in terms of your sexual interests and compatibility.

Are you both getting as much or as little sex as you want? Are your interests and turn-ons evolving? Is it time for you to have a conversation about an open relationship or some kind of joint-play situation, etc.?

If you're not on the same page, that doesn't mean your relationship must end or anything nearly that dramatic. But it may simple mean that you haven't checked in and maybe there's some festering concerns or resentment that need to be addressed.

Maybe he told a white lie or a gave a lame excuse, not because he's "cheating," but simply that your snooping turned up something that he was embarrassed to be confronted with. Maybe he took a dick pick for use in posting it to, let's say, a website devoted to discussing large penises. Is that within the bounds of your relationship?

I have a hunch that you might not have the kind of relationship where you can discuss your needs and desires openly or without jumping immediately to "he's cheating" accusations. That is something you should work on.

Good luck!
 

tito21

Superior Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Apr 10, 2010
Posts
1,760
Media
0
Likes
4,088
Points
568
I have been discussing it with him. He reassures me it's nothing and that the idea has never come in his head. His ex cheated on him for years and he said he doesn't need the stress of juggling let alone throwing away what he has.

He said he's deleted all his nudes from his phone now so there is no chance of future misunderstandings. Not sure if that makes him more innocent or guilty acting really.

I guess all I can do is trust him but keep my radar silently on.


Yeah, I don’t think i can be with a guy with my radar silently on and sleep with one eye open when he’s out late at night. But that’s just me though.

You do what is best for you and your relationship!
 

Auggiecakes

Legendary Member
Joined
Feb 26, 2016
Posts
1,000
Media
0
Likes
1,150
Points
133
Location
NYC (New York, United States)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
If I was to guess, I'd say he cropped that pic to send to a lover to say how much he's looking forward to coming home to see them again.

I don't know how to find out the truth or if I am jumping to conclusions.

What do you all think?

Calm down. Has he given you any other reason?
 

a3sthetic

Expert Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2015
Posts
252
Media
0
Likes
158
Points
53
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Yeah, I don’t think i can be with a guy with my radar silently on and sleep with one eye open when he’s out late at night. But that’s just me though.

You do what is best for you and your relationship!

I do love him so that part of me wants to believe him. The other part of me says his story doesn't make much sense to crop an old cock pic unless he was planning to send it somewhere.

I just don't think I can definitively pull the trigger and be confident I got it right.

So I just feel that all I can do is try to build trust back but not be blinded by my heart.
 
  • Like
Reactions: OKCLane

a3sthetic

Expert Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2015
Posts
252
Media
0
Likes
158
Points
53
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Calm down. Has he given you any other reason?
No, though he now says it was probably cropped from before and that he regularly moves pictures from WhatsApp or other folders on his phone. I don't use iPhones so I can't say for sure if moving photos creates new dates on a person's photo reel.
 

Auggiecakes

Legendary Member
Joined
Feb 26, 2016
Posts
1,000
Media
0
Likes
1,150
Points
133
Location
NYC (New York, United States)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
No, though he now says it was probably cropped from before and that he regularly moves pictures from WhatsApp or other folders on his phone. I don't use iPhones so I can't say for sure if moving photos creates new dates on a person's photo reel.

Yes they do.
 

Brian S

Worshipped Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2015
Posts
1,803
Media
5
Likes
12,242
Points
333
Age
44
Location
Nebraska (United States)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
I think the picture is kind of besides the point, to be honest. I've cropped my dick pics for multiple reasons - removing a watermark, taking out something I didn't want in the background, removing an identifying characteristic, or just getting a better angle/view on it. My partner and I both have dick pics on our phones, because we've sent them to one another, and/or because sometimes it's just fun to take a dick pic. Sometimes you just get a really great one and wanna keep it on deck.

I don't know the nuances of your relationship, so I'm going to just try to raise some thoughts without being definitive or accusatory. If a dick pic on his phone makes you wonder about his fidelity, could the same be said for you being on a website full of real dicks, talking to other, real, gay men? (I certainly don't think either are grounds to suspect cheating, just hopefully trying to illuminate some ideas here.)

The real question to me is why does having a dick pic on his phone raise questions for you? Are there any other behaviors that he exhibits that would lead you to suspect he's cheating? Do you recall receiving that particular dick pic? In this day and age, I just don't think having a dick pic on your phone means anything more than you have a dick pic on your phone. In general, I think most men have some amount of narcissism when it comes to our dicks. Maybe he thinks that pic was great, and likes to look at it from time to time. I do that occasionally. Maybe he just wants to have the pic. In short, I think only you can answer these questions, because nothing is the same for every couple. For instance, my partner knows my dick is out on the internet, and he loves it. He knows I've shown it to other guys. Fuck, I've sent my dick pics to a local gay guy that we know, just so we could see his in return. I haven't fucked around on him, but other couples would consider that to be cheating. So that part of it is up to you, even though we still don't know if he actually sent it to anyone. Personally, it seems to me that there might be other red flags that make you think he could be cheating - I can't see that him having a picture of his own dick would set this off. (I could be wrong.)
 

a3sthetic

Expert Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2015
Posts
252
Media
0
Likes
158
Points
53
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
I think the picture is kind of besides the point, to be honest. I've cropped my dick pics for multiple reasons - removing a watermark, taking out something I didn't want in the background, removing an identifying characteristic, or just getting a better angle/view on it. My partner and I both have dick pics on our phones, because we've sent them to one another, and/or because sometimes it's just fun to take a dick pic. Sometimes you just get a really great one and wanna keep it on deck.

I don't know the nuances of your relationship, so I'm going to just try to raise some thoughts without being definitive or accusatory. If a dick pic on his phone makes you wonder about his fidelity, could the same be said for you being on a website full of real dicks, talking to other, real, gay men? (I certainly don't think either are grounds to suspect cheating, just hopefully trying to illuminate some ideas here.)

The real question to me is why does having a dick pic on his phone raise questions for you? Are there any other behaviors that he exhibits that would lead you to suspect he's cheating? Do you recall receiving that particular dick pic? In this day and age, I just don't think having a dick pic on your phone means anything more than you have a dick pic on your phone. In general, I think most men have some amount of narcissism when it comes to our dicks. Maybe he thinks that pic was great, and likes to look at it from time to time. I do that occasionally. Maybe he just wants to have the pic. In short, I think only you can answer these questions, because nothing is the same for every couple. For instance, my partner knows my dick is out on the internet, and he loves it. He knows I've shown it to other guys. Fuck, I've sent my dick pics to a local gay guy that we know, just so we could see his in return. I haven't fucked around on him, but other couples would consider that to be cheating. So that part of it is up to you, even though we still don't know if he actually sent it to anyone. Personally, it seems to me that there might be other red flags that make you think he could be cheating - I can't see that him having a picture of his own dick would set this off. (I could be wrong.)

He knows I look at porn, my phone home screen is a gay porn slideshow. I have no issue with him looking at porn either.

Over the past 2 years, sex has gotten less and less and only happens when I initiate it these days. I purposely didn't initiate sex for 5 weeks and he never even missed it. He's 55 now and I had just accepted that sex once or twice a month is normal for that age.

It's been about 4 years since he's sent me a cock pic. So to see a pic on his phone recropped from the version I got like that was just out of the ordinary and it just triggered in my head to ask why he would need to edit a photo like that unless something was going on.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SoaringSpirit