Cheating Women?

[wellhung9]

it's nice of you to hang in there for the kids, but you got to think about yourself too. Do you really want to be married to a girl that cheats on you? I have seen a lot of my friends girlfriends cheat over the years and it amazes me how many cheat too. i hate to throw the whole sex under the bus, there are plenty of faithful girls out there, and of course guys cheat too, but i really do think girls cheat more.

Now I have to agree with that one guy who said once a whore always a whore. It's true. Some girls always need sexual attention, and if you leave for a week they will find it with someone else. I've know groups of girls that think cheating is not a big deal and don't understand why they get dumped when they get caught. And again I don't think the problem is with you at all, it's with her. i hate it when the victim gets blamed.

Anyways, i say do what you really want. Don't tough out a terrible marriage for the kids. Divorce really isn't that hard on the kids, plus they'll be excited to have 2 christmas'!

 

[Wish-4-8]

Yes, I have three children so I know what the fuck I'm talking about.

MILF of the year!!

Check out her gallery!!!:biggrin1:

 

[nicenycdick]

I don't know how anybody can actually believing in some of the absolutes I've read above. Not all women cheat...not all men cheat. Not every mother is a self-sacrificing angel and not every man suffers at the hand of female manipulation. Much of what we live with we have made some conscious or unconscious decision to accept. Most of us have some issues that prevent us from being truly happy with our lives. Almost all of us accommodate, for many reasons. Some of those reasons are noble (kids, culture, love) and others are more self-concerned (fear, anger, money). Figure out what will give you the most satisfaction. Therapy can sometimes help. Do this with her if you think it will (this time) make a difference. Balance the costs and benefits of whatever action you take...there will always be both no matter what you decide to do. Accept what you can't or won't change...change what you can.

Everything else is just talking...

 

[Cobalt Blue]

TL;DR

To the OP:

Get paternity tests asap. Once you know how many kids you'll actually be paying for go ahead and divorce her ass. That's all there is to it.

For those that don't know about the risks, when infidelity is suspected there's a 33% chance a child isn't the dad's based on paternity fraud research. So if the wife cheated then odds are 1 of his 3 kids isn't actually his! Furthermore, there are about 4.2 million births per year in the US, so even at 10% non-paternity, which is the generally accepted rate, (but it could be as high as 30%) that’s 420,000 men and children being lied to per year. About 4% of the 10% of PD cases the men find out, so of the remaining estimated 6% that never know that’s roughly 4,284,000 American men with children under the age of 18 unknowingly raising some other man’s child. I think it’s fair to say the men and kids are victims year after year as they’re living a lie. Not to mention how many men who are fathers but don’t know and are being defrauded of their right to parenthood.

Long story short, most women cheat. Remember, these figures are known births because the women went outside the relationship. The numbers for women cheating and not getting knocked up are even higher and best estimates put the figures of women that admit to cheating somewhere between 50-80%.

Some more excellent reading on the subject:

GlennSacks.com Blog Archive Excellent NYT Article on Paternity Fraud

GlennSacks.com Blog Archive Paternity Fraud Crusader Carnell Smith Responds to New York Times Hatchet Job

GlennSacks.com Blog Archive NYT Article on Paternity Fraud Tosses Aside the Obvious Solution - Mandatory DNA Testing

GlennSacks.com Blog Archive Paternity Fraud - The Flip Side

GlennSacks.com Blog Archive Bonnie Erbe Raises Some Good Points About Paternity Fraud

GlennSacks.com Blog Archive In the U.K., Paternity Fraud is Criminal, but Never Prosecuted

Meet The Real Biggest Losers Roissy in DC

Exactly, BS76, similar figures (pro rata) have emerged here in the UK since the inception of the CSA.

 

[hsarge]

You stated that your wife didn't like her body. Could she be looking for confirmation that she is attractive? Do you tell her that she is attractive to you? DO you figure that because she is insecure that she may require extra reinforcement from others? Do you buy her clothing and tell her that it shows, say, her long elegant neck, her legs, her waist, etc. If she is insecure she may need that outside reinforcement from others, if she doesn't get it form you. All of us have some insecurities that can use mollification.

 

[Drifterwood]

All of us have some insecurities that can use mollification.

The question is what price we think we can demand or rather take for that.

 

[kinda_hung]

You stated that your wife didn't like her body. Could she be looking for confirmation that she is attractive? Do you tell her that she is attractive to you? DO you figure that because she is insecure that she may require extra reinforcement from others? Do you buy her clothing and tell her that it shows, say, her long elegant neck, her legs, her waist, etc. If she is insecure she may need that outside reinforcement from others, if she doesn't get it form you. All of us have some insecurities that can use mollification.

The only part of my wife that she is insecure about is her breasts. They are small, but very nice A cup. She is petite and has a very nice butt and curves to match. 5'4" and 120lbs. She's built nicely. Very attractive also. And yes. I know she needs afformation and extra reinforment from me telling her that she looks nice in certain times. I tell her this all the time how sexy she is. But for some reason she can't get past her small boobs. She never takes her top off during intimate times, but for some reason she can run around in the bathroom shaking them for me before a shower. I don't get that!

 

[ManlyBanisters]

She never takes her top off during intimate times, but for some reason she can run around in the bathroom shaking them for me before a shower. I don't get that!

Because she is making fun of herself - she doesn't find them sexy so she thinks the shaking them is clowning because there is no way you could find THAT sexy. Of course there is every way you could, and do, find it sexy.

When it comes to actual sex because her breasts are 'anti-sexy' as far as she's concerned she wants to keep them covered because thinking about you looking at them makes her feel less sexy.

It's a very difficult balance for you between not mentioning it too much so that she thinks you're humouring her and not mentioning it enough so that she thinks you really don't like them. I don't envy you. Have you tried buying her a sexy camisole top, bustier or corset so that she can cover up and be sexy at the same time? I say that because since having a child I have pronounced stretch marks - it took me a good few months to get comfy with them being part of me and for that time during sex I chose to wear sexy undies that covered my stomach. So much better than keeping my t-shirt or vest on!

 

[helgaleena]

If you are serious about staying with the mother of your children (and I disagree entirely with the fools asking for paternity tests, as it is not only biology that makes a parent and obviously you see them as irrevocably Your Children) then both of you must get further counseling.

There are sex therapists specifically, and there are marriage therapists specifically, and there are individual therapists, and family therapists. You and she have already done a lot of talking about your problems, and talking to one another is the cornerstone of deciding exactly what kind of counseling would be the most help.

She sounds like someone without as much self control as you. It seems that she is not very aware of her own feelings either... Her 'lazyness' with the kids is a depressive symptom in itself. You say she got through college, and has been successfully employed, so she must be intelligent enough to surmount this if she wishes.

Once you had children together you entwined your two lives for as long as they live, marriage or no marriage. Together you must find the best solution to enriching the entire environment for you all.

 

[sxy_vince]

wow, don't know what to say about other women and what they (or people in general) do....I've never cheated. Was with one guy that didn't turn me on at all, we hung in there for our kids, but in the end it was better just to split. It was painful, but I never once thought of cheating -- okay, I dreamed of sex, was lusting after sex, wanted it bad, but I wouldn't cheat -- it was better just to be honest. Sounds like she wants both, your security, but she's not attracted to you, and her freedom to explore sex with someone else...sorry, but that is what it seems like to me. But what do I know? Good luck, sounds like a tough spot to be in.

I realise that we do not see the full picture but, based on what you have said, I'm inclined to agree with pussnboots comment above. I don't think she is attracted to you. I'm sure there are women out there who are attracted to you, but unfortunately your wife prefers other men.

Some other people have suggested that it may be that you are insensitive, nasty, angry, etc. This is possible, but my instinct is that this is not the case. If anything, I suspect the problem is that you're too much of a 'doormat', hence she doesn't respect you and hence she takes advantage.

For women who are inclined to cheat, a lack of attraction and respect are probably the factors that cause them to cheat. Of course, that doesn't make it right, and it doesn't mean that you deserve it.

I'm inclined to think that you both will be better off apart, but friends on a cordial level if that is possible. You can be a father to your children without being a husband to your wife.

If you do stay with her, I think it should be on condition that she provides you with respect and treats you the way most women treat men that they love.

 

[sxy_vince]

If being the girlfriend is such a low priority due to exhaustion, please explain why she would attempt the role with an additional man. Twice! Wouldn't a third party at a separate location, with additional expectations/requirements and who had to be kept secret be considerably more exhausting?

Are you crazy or just disinclined to read the entirety of the opening post?

This is a very good point Gillette. Well explained and your logic is hard to refute.

 

[hoggindaz]

Get paternity tests asap. Once you know how many kids you'll actually be paying for go ahead and divorce her ass. That's all there is to it.

qft

 

[Titsdude21]

If i found out my girl had been cheating on me this is what i would do.

Step 1
Go find some dirty Bitch who had a curable std.

Step 2
Fuck that bitch and get that std

Step 3
fuck my gf and either a, don't use a condom, or b, make sure the condom breaks before you cum

Step 4
Get the STD cured

Step 5
Proceed to be the biggest ass you can for as long as you can until your girl finally breaks up with you.
Things like cumming on her hair, or if she doesnt like it her face. Aim for up the nose and in eyes when possible.
Spending all of yours and her money (if u share a bank account) on things that dont hold their value in anyway. Playing cards are a good money sink, because unless you know which ones are good there is no way to know how to sell them (she prob wont know this).
Gambling is also a great way to spend money, particularly as u only tell her about the money you have lost, and u can just keep the money you win.
There are a few ways im sure u can think of more fun things to do.

Step 6
when u finally break up, tell her lover that he has the STD you picked up. This will hopeful be enough for him to break up with her. So she will have lost in all aspects, money, love, and she is left with an STD.

Hope you enjoy your fun

 

[eyescream]

She sounds like she's in love with someone else. No women act that way unless they are unhappy with you and it reminds me of the time I was with one of my Ex - the one who made me miserable. I'm a horny little devil and I didn't even want to have sex with him!

To make matters worse, you work night shifts and for all she cares you could be cheating too.

It's a good thing you're considering ending this marriage because looks like she wants it over.

But you really should have a heart to heart talk with her about it, it really does sound like she's unhappy with something.

 

[D_Methamphetamine Blowvein]

my aI only read the first page of this...and I'm sure I missed a lot of discussion. BUT...I am wondering something. Are you attentive to her? Do you do things she enjoys? What did you do during your dating days that she loved? You have children...any attempt to save your marriage is warranted here...whether or not you and her both have cheated. It sounds like she enjoys sex...or at least enjoys being desired. Make her feel that way. You have to be the illusion of desire and lust that is in her mind.

I'm saying this because I'm in this position with my hubby. He is completely non-existent in our marriage. We are room mates. I miss being loved, being wanted and being cherished. Maybe I'm needy...but he knew that when we married. I am so desperate for attention and affection that I would go to nearly any length to get it.

Please take it from me...it may not be comfortable for you, but if you want to save your marriage...you have to initiate it...even if she's unwilling to cooperate at first. Good luck!!!

 

[Notaguru2]

From being the "other man" a couple of times, I've found that women cheat largely due to emotional voids. I know thats pretty vague, but its true. An emotionally unfulfilled woman, no matter how "happy", is attainable.

 

[honeydew]

thegroupie, well stated and i am with you on this one too!!

 

[Countryguy63]

All you people who are immediately calling BS have never lived it. Whether you understand it or not, YES, there are men who do not leave their wives no matter what. There are men that want to belive "not again" so bad, that they sacrifice their own pride and self worth just to keep the marriage together.

You don't have to understand it, but just because you wouldn't, does'nt make it automatically BS

hung, not sure what state you are in, but you are probably correct with the custody issue. That's what kept me in the exact position you are in for so long.

My lawyer told me I won with 50%, even though I was with my girls more than 80% of the time during the marriage. No matter what they say, here the father has to fight for anything, irregardless of his involvement and dedication

 

[Roudiest]

Seriously, I can't believe you need to ask about this. If someone cheats on me, that'll be the end of it. No matter what.

But hey that's just my opinion.

 

[helgaleena]

The OP loves his children, Roudiest. I'll bet their mother does too. It's just each other they are having trouble with. Your solution would hurt those children right away, even if their parents get ephemeral relief.