1. thickcock82mn

    thickcock82mn New Member

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    Well me and my girlfriend of little under 4 years recently admitted to each other that we have both cheated on each other once in the past month.

    Now we have both decided to forgive and forget. But I don't know if we will get through this or not. She brings it up once in awhile. Of course we argue about it. But at the end of the day we still love each other very much.

    After there has been cheating in a relationship is there any way to get over it? Or will we be forever fighting about it?

    I love this women with all my heart and I hope we can make it through this part of our life.
     
  2. Drifterwood

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    Maybe a more open relationship is suitable for you. Did you discuss that?
     
  3. green carnation

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    it is possible if you both can truly forgive and forget. But this will take time and discussion. And maybe you also need to address the reasons why you both did it in the first place. So dont just sweep it under the carpet and forget it straight away.
     
  4. DV8

    DV8
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    I'm going to be real with you, because you could use the honesty, and I'm sure you'd really appreciate it. That and I'm a little intoxicated at the moment, but I promise you I'll make sense. Neither one of you have truly forgiven one another. You don't. I'm sorry, you can say that you do, but you don't. Because if you did, you wouldn't be arguing about it. You both need to allow yourselves to be upset, and to get over it, and then focus on forgiving the other. That's being realistic about it. You can't just have a happy episode of Full House about this! Shit went down, and it's heart breaking. And the only reason it doesn't hurt either one AS MUCH AS IT COULD, is because you both have the guilt, and yet the dominance of knowing that you did in fact do this act. You may not see the dominance, but the other party does. Period.

    So, allow it to pass, and try to avoid certain triggers. If anything, I believe that you two should definitely discuss it- get all true feelings out there. And considering that you've been in this relationship for 4 years- that says a lot. That lets me know that you both do care, and that's a great thing. But what made you both cheat to begin with? Discover that issue, and you'll find a key to your solution.

    Now, I have one fascinating question- you said that you both have cheated on each other once in the past month. That's a little coincidental. So I want to know how much cheating has happened in the past on both sides?

    Look forward to hearing from you!

    Dante'
     
  5. petite

    petite New Member

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    I've dealt with a cheating boyfriend, but I'll be honest, it took a long time to get over it. If the cheating happened in the past month, then not much time has passed! It can take 6 months to a year to work through something like that.

    Since both of you cheated, there really can't be a self-righteous and "wronged" party, but you do need to examine why both of you were unfaithful. It sounds like you really need to go see a couples counselor. A third party can be very helpful, if both of you are honest.
     
  6. SHITMAN

    SHITMAN New Member

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    I don't get it, dude. You say you "love her with all of your heart" but yet you cheated on her even though it was presumed to be a "standard, monogamous" relation? I mean she did too, so obviously no one can be said to be the bad person in this scenario, but still there's the fact that you likely expect to be exclusive and are fucking other people behind each other's backs?
     
  7. HiddenLacey

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    Personal opinion....

    You can't "love" someone with all your heart and cheat on them. You can't because at the moment it's going to happen their face would be in your mind, their smile, their laughter. And you would think about what this would do to them. Obvisiously if both of you are cheating something is wrong with your relantionship. If you can both settle your deference's good for you. I could never do it. I believe in forgiveness but I'd never forget. It would be the end of the relantionship for me, period.
     
  8. Kimahri

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    I have a very black and white view of cheating. Do it and it's going to be over. My bf (future ex) can't seem to get that thru his head.
     
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