Cheating

7

798686

Guest
When I was 18 I kissed an ex-boyfriend who I was still in love with whilst dating someone else. I ended things with the new bf the next day but felt like shit. Never did it again.

For the most part I think cheating is wrong and I have fallen out with close friends for cheating on their partners because I hate the deception involved. However, there are situations where I think it's understandable e.g. one partner has a serious long-term illness. I wouldn't judge in those circumstances.
I think it's generally bad too.

Did something I regretted at 18 and basically did the dirty on a mate with his girlfriend which is a total no-no. Would never/have never done it again - and still feel bad about it now, like 18 years later. :/

In terms of people cheating on me - I've got this thing where I imagine I'd deal with it if it was a one-off and there were extenuating circumstances. However - any more than once and it's over, cos I'd know they couldn't be trusted.
 

invisibleman

Cherished Member
Joined
Oct 10, 2005
Posts
9,816
Media
0
Likes
491
Points
303
Location
North Carolina
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
What are your guy's experience with cheating?
What is your stance? Don't do it or just don't get caught?

I have been cheated on. It was painful. It isn't fun to find out that you aren't the only one. I have never cheated on a dude I was dating. I don't want to cheat on anyone.

It isn't cheating if you aren't in a committed relationship. If you are in a committed relationship and you decide to cheat...brace yourself for whatever comes your way.

Maybe people should talk about why people cheat. The reasons are many. I think that it is easy to cheat on people these days because of cellphones, netbooks, tablet PCs, laptops, and desktop PCs with the use of the internet and social networking sites. I don't see how anyone is immune to being cheated upon. If a person wants to cheat on you, they will. And you probably couldn't do anything about it.



 

oacliffbuddy

Sexy Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Posts
164
Media
0
Likes
30
Points
163
Location
Dallas, Oak Cliff, TX
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
In nearly all species (except may black widow spiders), the male is predatory in nature. The female is the nestor. It seems a bit contradictory to try and suppress the predatory nature of males. When I figured that out, it was less of an issue for me.

I had a partner once. We never once lied to each other though he sometimes had to drag things out of me. After a period of time in our relationship I realized I could not be all things for him. There were things he wanted that I wasn't ready or willing to do. Rather than throw the relationship away (which was good to the last day), I opted to suggest we open the relationship up. It worked for us. It eliminated unreasonable restrictions (YOU MUST BE FAITHFUL TO ME TILL YOU DIE EVEN IF I CAN'T PROVIDE YOU WHAT YOU NEED) and took the pressure off both of us.

We always shared our experiences when they occurred and never hid the truth from each other. Our relationship did not end over that aspect, rather because I was so used to being on my own and he was used to being in, and had a deep need for a relationship with someone that I felt the need to go back to a less restrictive status. He eventually came to that conclusion on his own and we mutually agreed to go separate ways. We are still friends today. He met his current partner in the last months of our time together and they're still together some 25 years later......and....sigh....I'm still single 25 years later. I suppose some things will never change. ;-)

Where did we get this idea that sex could only ever be with one person??
 
Last edited:

invisibleman

Cherished Member
Joined
Oct 10, 2005
Posts
9,816
Media
0
Likes
491
Points
303
Location
North Carolina
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Don't put your entire trust and faith in one person. Communicate how you feel at all times.



Tell the person that you love them but desire to see other people?

Nothing is wrong with that. That lets the person decide: what THEY want to do and how treat the relationship with YOU. They have options: 1) THEY can leave you. 2) THEY can stay and THEY can date other people as well.



 

Drifterwood

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2007
Posts
18,677
Media
0
Likes
2,811
Points
333
Location
Greece
I am not convinced that you can hold that there are absolute morality based definitions but at the same time say that anything is OK so long as the couple clear it with each other. I doubt a church would not consider it adultery just because the couple had agreed it was OK.

But then I sometimes live in cultures where there is a tacit morality that affairs are OK.
 

earllogjam

Expert Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2006
Posts
4,917
Media
0
Likes
179
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
Why don't Republicans sponsor a constitutional amendment banning adultery rather than gay marriage. Whoring around is more a threat to straight marriage than 2 guys shaking up.

The reason why is because they can't live up to the morality they spew.

Just as a side note, IMO the hetrosexual model of marriage intended mostly for the benefit of children is not a perfect fit in relationships between 2 men. Most gay unions are not 100% sexually monogamous in my experience and observations. There is a difference between love and sex for most gay men and they are not mutually dependent.
 
Last edited:

Drifterwood

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2007
Posts
18,677
Media
0
Likes
2,811
Points
333
Location
Greece
Most gay unions are not 100% sexually monogamous in my experience and observations. There is a difference between love and sex for most gay men and they are not mutually dependent.

80% of str8 unions will contain infidelity. Apparently it's 60% men and 40% women, though most people still think that the women aren't answering honestly. So, most people are sexually faithful, until they are not.

These are the official US gov stats by the way. I only make up stats 30% of the time.
 

D_Dick_S_Lapp

Account Disabled
Joined
Dec 4, 2011
Posts
934
Media
0
Likes
2
Points
51
I've always seen cheating as a big waste of people's time. Why cheat when you can just break up with the person. Sure its more difficult but it gives everyone involved a chance to actually find the person they enjoy the most. Then again all does seem to be fair in love and war.
 

B_Nicodemous

Experimental Member
Joined
Sep 24, 2010
Posts
4,366
Media
0
Likes
18
Points
73
Sexuality
No Response
Sometimes you do not know the guy (or gal) is involved with anyone else. Harder to break it off when you have your own set of emotions involved.

Not always easy. Not everything is black and white.