Cheating

[salinger]

I've been making a point of not entering into any committed relationships. At this point in my life I think they're silly. As such I have not cheated on anyone in quite a few years. I did cheat in high school/college a couple times but everyone did then. I would not cheat if I committed myself to someone. Never been cheated on that I know of.

 

[superhung]

"Cheating" is simply a term imposed upon us by a culture that mistakenly believes humans are monogamous creatures. The erroneous and mythological presumption is that you must have one partner at a time, only one partner and be utterly, solely faithful to them. If you have more, you are a slut, a player, a harlot or a cheater. This is a terribly negative and destructive way to look at sex and relationships and is way past it's time.

In days of old, being branded a cheater was an emotionally violent way the Church (and other authorities of the time) used to control people and the population. Wouldn't it be nice if people embraced their sexuality, didn't make excuses for it, and refused to live by the standards of hypocritical narrow-minded religious and political nutjobs? I think so. But the responsibility starts with the individual.

This isn't to say monogamy is wrong or shouldn't be enjoyed. If that is what you and your partner desire, have it. However, the notion of monogamy being virtuous, moral and the ONLY way it should be done is backwards, IMO.

Why do people cheat? Largely because they are not monogamous creatures.

 

[conchis]

I was thinking about the fact you americans use the verb CHEAT, 'imbrogliare' in Italian.
In Italy we use the verb 'tradire', italian for BETRAY.

could this change the perception of an affair? call it cheating instead of betraying makes the thing less painful?

(forgive me for these insane linguistic reflections)

 

[Hellboy0]

I was thinking about the fact you americans use the verb CHEAT, 'imbrogliare' in Italian.
In Italy we use the verb 'tradire', italian for BETRAY.

could this change the perception of an affair? call it cheating instead of betraying makes the thing less painful?

(forgive me for these insane linguistic reflections)

"A rose is a rose..."

...and I like that you are intelligent, conchis!

 

[conchis]

thanks, hellboy0.
funny avatar, bud

 

[jack65]

Hello

I find it some what disturbing that cheating could be any thing other then betraying, you don't have to have sex to cheat on your partner, there are many was to do it.

You can try and make the point of were not supposed to be monogamous, but really its not the point, and you could even have a 3 way relationship that would see someone as a cheater, or any other version of relationships, it doesn't have to be just two.

The point of cheating/betraying is that it is just that.
You have broken the boundaries that were agreed upon and you have done it knowing full well what your doing, if you didn't then you would not see it as cheating would you.

we can make any excuse up to justify our bad behavior, if you know that you are going to do this then it should be out in the open so the other partner can either agree or walk away.

Well thats my view anyway.

Thank You.

 

[Hellboy0]

thanks, hellboy0.
funny avatar, bud

One of my best!!!! And a definite statement, don't ya think.

So who do you think Robin would do if he cheated on Batman?

 

[conchis]

surely the Joker

 

[Damian Johnson]

I haven't read much about this in this forum, so here it goes. Have any of you guys/gals ever cheated in a relationship or have been cheated by your partners? Ever caught or been caught? I'd be interested in your personal experiences.

Have cheated and been cheated on in the past.
Always lived to regret it.
Trust and communication are the keystones of a good relationship
Learnt my lesson. Never again when in a relationship
Cheating just leads to unhappiness

 

[bottombuddy]

my first ever partner cheated on me throught the 2 years we were together.....id always had an incling he was doing so.......it broke my heart something terrible and it was well over 18 months after it before i could face being with someone again.....my second partner whom ive recently split with had a fling with someone when we had been together 8 years but i forgave him and we had another 6 years after that......after he left recently the thought crossed my mind that he may have done so for someone else as ive never been given a reason and half his posessions are still in my place....its been 5/6 months since he left.

personally ive never cheated but have been accused enough just for smiling at or saying hello to someone........we have a saying in scotland - theyres nowt queer as fowk - meaning you can be really close to someone but they can be weird at times.

 

[Love-it]

My wife cheated on me 20 years ago, we are still together but it was tough for awhile. The reasons are still somewhat unclear but some of it had to do with her sense of self worth.