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madame_zora

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Hung Muscle said:
You're certainly off to a great start for a novice, Caneadea, by racking up 400 posts in less than a month on this board. That's a jonb sort of rate!

Yeah, and like jonb his posts are usually positive.

What's up with you lately, not getting enough bran?
 

Dr. Dilznick

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ashlar said:
There are far more interesting ways to shut Jana up.

*Grins* :p
I'd think the solution would be obvious. Lock the shameless whore in a murky dungeon and chain her to the wall. Leave her there for 3 days. Come back and tell her that her life depends on it. The human body is capable of the most astounding feats in extreme circumstances. ;)
 

madame_zora

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DeeBlackthorne said:
*snap* Well, that's a rip-off! The least you could do was take almost five hours off during normative, peak-activity hours. You just slept your "brain tilt" off.

Thanks for continuing to be an ass to me, I was trying to be jovial to you. At least I haven't lost my powers of perception where you are concerned. I wrote what I did because in your absence we've had a lot of new members join and I wanted to be sure they had an opportunity to see you for who you really are, the self-loathing ex-bisexual hell bent on discrediting a much belived member of this site for no reason other than malice, by your own admission. You're too easy to predict. As much as I like to try to keep my ego in check, since you've returned, the majority of your posts have been flames directed at me. Flattering to know I'm that important to you. I, on the other hand, have a variety of reasons for being here, you being pretty low on my list.
 

D_Martin van Burden

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"I wanted to be sure they had an opportunity to see you for who you really are..."

Oh, puddin'. "Jovial" doesn't count when it's faked.

Quite frankly, I would have a very difficult time perceiving you to be anything but "right" whenever you try to "argue" a point in your discussions. But, hey, what little do I know? I mean, if I read first-hand how you go to the jugular with other members regarding their views on Christianity, sexuality, social issues, and what not...

Don't get me wrong. I really appreciate passionate people. I love 'em, in fact. But, and let me quote Aristotle here, it takes an incredibly capable person to determine to what degree, to which extent, to whom, for which reason, and why one chooses to be angry. You just spout off, and you happen to spout off at people who are brave enough to disagree with your or people who don't choose to kiss YOUR ass in making a presence on this board.

But, you know, I'm the first to admit that I can't control the opinions of others. I can be as nice or as cruel as I want to be, and there's just no way; I don't wield that kind of influence, nor would I want to.

What separates people like me, Jana, from people like you, is that people like me will like themselves just as much in the morning as they would if they weren't actively gathering a network of admirers and psychophants. (Did I spell that right?) I don't need a following. I don't want one. It seems like you want people blindly following you wherever your logic goes, but God damn it, you just ain't that hot or smart enough to command that sort of attention. At least not from me anyway.

I'm going to let you have your supporters. I don't harbor one bit of ill will against one who happens to like you. That's their choice. I just won't pretend to, and I won't be afraid of holding you accountable whenever you lambast me or someone else who didn't deserve your wrath. Just like I won't turn a cheek and coddle someone who isn't being real or legitimate about who they are.

But, you know... there is a good in all of this, ironically enough.

Perhaps for the first time in a very long time, I have come to embrace Jacinto beyond his transgression. Sure, he said some untrue stuff and I don't have tolerance for people who aren't willing to be 100% truthful on the board. At the same time, I feel bad that he's had some personal shit to go through. I hope that clears up.

And, really, is that what this about?

Ok... to reiterate...
I don't like you, Jana. I haven't for a while and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

But, you know what? If you're a bitch to me, and I'm an ass to you, and we can both live with that, I say we both shut the fuck up and just do that.

Okay, good. *cues up the Ignore*

Now since we both seem to agree that it's incredibly difficult to let someone else have the last word... (I'm just gonna stop my sentence right there.)
 

D_Martin van Burden

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Oh, c'mon. The meaning of life is 42, and that's totally far from "obvious."

P.S. Self-loathing implies that I hate myself, right? Nope. Ever since I got this crazy 'doo and that fuzzy pimp hat, why I'm far from short on self-confidence. And ex-bisexual? Well, perhaps... but you know I'm still working on the narrative about that. It's really complicated. I think it's because I never really made gay friends that I feel comfortable around. The last time I had them, I set myself up for some serious vulnerability because I was struggled with male attractions. They just laughed and said I'd turn out gay, whether I liked it or not.

How unsupportive. Other than that, I don't really have any other gay friends to speak of. I know of a couple of guys, but all I'm required to do is say hi and be civil. And I'm still reeling from the jerkoffs in college who just laughed at me when I really needed someone to listen, so it's hard.

Impossible? Nothing's impossible. Just like saying I'll NEVER have a gay friend is a bit over-the-top. Life has too many twists and turns. Is it likely I'll pursue one? Probably not.

I need to think a little bit harder on this.
 

madame_zora

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DeeBlackthorne said:
Oh, c'mon. The meaning of life is 42, and that's totally far from "obvious."

P.S. Self-loathing implies that I hate myself, right? Nope. Ever since I got this crazy 'doo and that fuzzy pimp hat, why I'm far from short on self-confidence. And ex-bisexual? Well, perhaps... but you know I'm still working on the narrative about that. It's really complicated. I think it's because I never really made gay friends that I feel comfortable around. The last time I had them, I set myself up for some serious vulnerability because I was struggled with male attractions. They just laughed and said I'd turn out gay, whether I liked it or not.

How unsupportive. Other than that, I don't really have any other gay friends to speak of. I know of a couple of guys, but all I'm required to do is say hi and be civil. And I'm still reeling from the jerkoffs in college who just laughed at me when I really needed someone to listen, so it's hard.

Impossible? Nothing's impossible. Just like saying I'll NEVER have a gay friend is a bit over-the-top. Life has too many twists and turns. Is it likely I'll pursue one? Probably not.

I need to think a little bit harder on this.

Dee, thanks for answering my real question. This is as sincere as I can be, so please don't take it as an attack.

I'll be 43 in a few days so I'll no longer have that meaning of life thing going on.

You may not believe this, but I really tried in earnest to understand where you were coming from. That's why I asked both you and Jacinto what was going on. Neither had a clear answer. Yeah, I meddle in psycho-babble, but old habits die hard. I spent my younger years much like you, in college planning to be a psychologist. Like many who take up that field, I discovered I was more interested in sorting out my own issues and ideals than I was in sitting in an office listening to the problems of others who may or may not be interested in actually making changes. Still, I can't unknow things I spent years learning, so I see patterns sometimes and it just isn't something I can ignore.

The crux of MY problem lay here- once Jacinto explained his misdirection and apologised- he even said straight out he wished he'd have done it differently- I couldn't understand why you continued in "attack mode". A person is supposed to forgive the contrite, so I started looking for reasons why you weren't doing just that. All I could figure, without knowing you better, was that there might be some awkward feelings left over from the days when you were experimenting with your sexuality. Yes, there would have been more gracious ways of bringing it up, but by then we were both being snarky to each other. I don't wish to continue that, regardless of what your decisions are.

I wasn't around for most of that time, I only caught the tail end of the old board before Invision. However in the year plus that I had been on the site at that time, I'd never seen the two of you exchange a cross word, so it was news to me that there were any awkward feelings there. Jacinto also didn't know why. I think it's a shame that the people in your life were so closed minded about your experimentation, I've never believed that trying something means you've made a decision. Hell, I've done the nasty with women and I now can say I know I'm straight. How can you eliminate the possiblities until you try?

Anyway, I could be right or wrong about this guess, but in the absence of all else, I had to tell myself something and this was what I came up with.
You don't need the hat, you're a great looking guy with or without it. There's room for all of us to grow, and I hope I keep my eyes open to that fact myself. For my part in escalating the bad feelings, I apologise. I am an unyeilding ass sometimes, but one flaw I can identify is that I have a tough if not impossible time apologising when I feel the other person is not listening but only condemning. Thanks for making me feel you actually heard what I was saying, it made a big difference. It doesn't me we agree, it doesn't mean we like each other, but it does mean we're big enough to communicate.