Children addressing same sex parents?

[xmarksbreakdownx]

Hello and happy new year!

I'm wondering what do children call their parents when they're the same sex? I do not mean to offend anyone, I'm just curious. Example, if it's two women, would you let your child call you both mommy or, mom and (other parent's first name)?

Do any of you out there have such a family where you and your partner have adopted a child? If so how do they address you both?

Thanks for the answers!

 

[MickeyLee]

Jennifer Has Two Daddies

of the folks i know with kids... is Mom & Mom, or Dad & Dad.
if both parents are together the kid would just go/address the appropriate Mom/Dad
if the kid is alone with one parent there isn't a whole lot of choices on which Mom/Dad the kid is talking to.

 

[tworites]

But how would the child refer to mom/mom or dad/dad when they arent present? "My Daddy Jim" vs "My Daddy Kevin"? How would the child refer to them to their teacher? Classmates? Unrelated adults? "Daddy 1 and Daddy 2"? lol

 

[LaFemme]

I happen to have two sets of same sex parents who are friends of mine. The two moms are Mom & Ma and the dads are Daddy & Papa. The moms have older kids, when they were little they were mommy & mama. The little kids always correct adults - "no, this isn't my daddy! This is my Papa!" The older the kids get, they don't always correct because they understand how other peceive them.

 

[xmarksbreakdownx]

But how would the child refer to mom/mom or dad/dad when they arent present? "My Daddy Jim" vs "My Daddy Kevin"? How would the child refer to them to their teacher? Classmates? Unrelated adults? "Daddy 1 and Daddy 2"? lol

That's the main point I was wondering about!

Thanks for the answers. I had never considered using just two froms of addressing a parent, Lafemme (as in Mom and Mother)

 

[MickeyLee]

"my Dad/Mom" pretty much covers it.. since in most cases either parent can answer the question, handle a teacher. and heaps of families have one parent that is the main School Go To parent. so when the kids says "my Dad/Mom" the teacher, doctor, etc will know who to go to.

for kids.. from listening to them play
Kid: My Dad
Other Kid: which one?
Kid: the taller one. *or the one with the beard, gray hair, fat*

i mean when you were a kid did you refer to ya friends parents as anything other than Mr. or Mrs. so-and-so

and what Ms. Femme said.
by Mom/Mom, Dad/Dad i meant to include variations of Mom/Dad. like what Ms. Femme said :redface:

 

[rbkwp]

Gay partner and i brought up his sisters child from a 3 month old .boy
( with heaps of assist from my Mum Sis and sis-in-laws, all at the age of bringing up there own kids)
She of the type who had 4 kids from 4 fathers, partner took it on himself to adopt the child, i was a willing participant haha
Got a letter from her to say it was OK, so no come back,,when it did go to court.

Anyway Matthew always just auto called us by our first names
Partner was bi..and i helped him find his future wife, they have 2 of ther own now, still to-gether etc
Wise enuf to chase up the wife fr him, when Matt was about 4..sooooooooooooo
All GOOd
He is 23 now, and has a Lady, so once again...proves the Fckwits wrong'

MAY have been a lil more difficult ( for Matt) if we remained to-gether M/M parents, but of course we never...?

 

[matelalique]

I read an interview with a 16 year old who described this yelled from various rooms in the house:
Teen: Mom!
Mom1: What?
Teen: Other Mom!
Mom2: What?

I also really enjoyed the use of "Moms" in "The Kids are all right" when most kids would be saying "Mom and Dad".

 

[red7.5]

Two male couples I know with kids both use "pappa" and "dad(dy)." And two female couples I know both use "momma" and "mom(my)." Another female couple use their first names after mom(my). And another family involves three woman (due to a divorce and remarriage): "mom," "mamma," and "mamma Jane."

 

[Dave NoCal]

Of course, some couple just have the children address them by first name.

 

[Rikter8]

But how would the child refer to mom/mom or dad/dad when they arent present? "My Daddy Jim" vs "My Daddy Kevin"? How would the child refer to them to their teacher? Classmates? Unrelated adults? "Daddy 1 and Daddy 2"? lol

"My Dad" It shouldn't matter which one. The students attention span is generally nill anyway. The child can refer to them as he/she pleases or whatever works in their family.

It's their family - so who gives a fuck what other people think. They have Zero bearing on their lives, and that's how it should be.
Other people should have no say whatsoever on how they live their lives.

 

[rbkwp]

exactly Dave
often bemused me as in NZ Pakehas in particular ( ie white Nzers) often had there kids use there first names
Chinese friends used ' my father, my mother'
we used the momma poppa equivalent in english? Mum & Dad
What we are taught i geuss

 

[xmarksbreakdownx]

"My Dad" It shouldn't matter which one. The students attention span is generally nill anyway. The child can refer to them as he/she pleases or whatever works in their family.

It's their family - so who gives a fuck what other people think. They have Zero bearing on their lives, and that's how it should be.
Other people should have no say whatsoever on how they live their lives.

I was just asking, not judging. And it should matter which "dad" depending on what they're talking about...

 

[xmarksbreakdownx]

I really appricate all the answers guys, thanks again.

 

[red7.5]

You're welcome - it was a legit question!

 

[tworites]

"My Dad" It shouldn't matter which one. The students attention span is generally nill anyway. The child can refer to them as he/she pleases or whatever works in their family.

It's their family - so who gives a fuck what other people think. They have Zero bearing on their lives, and that's how it should be.
Other people should have no say whatsoever on how they live their lives.

calm down there sir. I never said it had any bearing whatsoever. I was referring to clarity of conversation. The same darn stuff comes up when names are reused. In my family, for example, we have FIVE Jims. So when I say to anyone under the sun "Yeah Jim got me a new handle for christmas" who is to know what Jim of the five Jims Im referring to? So they are, for clarity and convenience, James, Jim, Junior, Aaron (middle name) and Seth ( also middle name). When you have more than one Daddy in the equation, something else needs to be added or changed so that people who are not psychic know what on earth you are talking about, and so that every single reference to a Daddy is not met with "which one?" which gets old after about 10 seconds.

 

[seeafox]

My son, who I adopted back in his teenage years, is now 28. The partner I ahd at the time he called by his first name. but the aprtner I ahve now he calls dad. I also get called dad. He introduces us as his dads. And of course it gets very confusing if his mother (birth) is around (he has maintained contact over the years, with a gentle push at times), because he ahs two dads one mum, and neither dad has been marreid to his mother.

But that is aside. We can ormally tell whcih dad he is calling or speaking to; but there ahs been situations (as above).
Son: Dad
Me: Yes.
Son: No. Dad
Partner: me
Son: Who else?
Partner: Your real father.

 

[gymfresh]

The same sex couples I know decided early on to use different nomenclature for each parent, much as they (and many families) did for the two sets of grandparents. In the same way that many kids have a "grandma" and a "me-maw" or "nanna", my friends' kids call their parents "papa" and "daddy" or "mommy" and "mother".

Of course, some couple just have the children address them by first name.

My parents aren't of the same sex, but yeah, I went through a phase of calling them by their first names, much as Bess did to Phyllis on the Mary Tyler Moore Show. Did not go over well. So I struck upon the affectation of referring to my mother by the Scottish "mither", later replaced by the Anglo-Latin "mater". When I was really ticked, she got referred to as "my father's first wife". (She happens to be his only wife, and my birth mother. :smile Eventually it settled back to Mother, which is what I call her today. In my family "mom" would be considered too casual and chummy. It doesn't feel right if I say it.

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

But how would the child refer to mom/mom or dad/dad when they arent present? "My Daddy Jim" vs "My Daddy Kevin"? How would the child refer to them to their teacher? Classmates? Unrelated adults? "Daddy 1 and Daddy 2"? lol

My ex was from a blended family with two women as heads of the main household (the two ex-husbands were actively involved, but the women provided the majority of parenting).

Anywho, they called each simply mom or "the moms" in plural. They never differentiated between mom x or mom y by name, but there was a shorthand to it, where even I could tell which was being discussed just by her personality or what she said. If one is part of the family/friend you just kind of get it after awhile. It sort of reminded me of speaking of my grandparents as a child, both were grandma and grandpa, but if speaking of them it would be clear which pair without using grammy____.

 

[ManchesterTom]

Before my re-marriage, as a single parent, my children would address me as Dad, but sometimes when they were quite young, they used to call me Mom. I either used to just respond to either name Mom or Dad. When they got older I used to look down my shirt and joke "I don't have boobs today!" - We all used to laugh at the slip-up and get over the moment.

I have the belief that children will come out of any situation, right side up, as long as they feel loved by their parental figures.

I have good friends who just happen to be two men who adopted two children (sisters). Their parenting skills are excellent, and they have raised these two well adjusted children. The girls call either of the dads "daddy", and if they refer to one or the other dads, they clarify the statement by saying Daddy-Adam or alternately Daddy-Steve said / did whatever.

The girls see their situation in the home as totally normal, and totally acceptable.