Chris' Joke of the Day

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by B_notthe7.fan, May 2, 2008.

  1. B_notthe7.fan

    B_notthe7.fan New Member

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    New Thread that I am going to keep updating regularly. Hope you enjoy!

    Dear Tech Support:
    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system>activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
    Thanks,
    A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
    ______________________________________

    REPLY:
    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about.
    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag, Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,
    Tech Support
     
  2. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    LOL i've read something similar to this before.
     
  3. B_dumbcow

    B_dumbcow New Member

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    :lmao:
     
  4. B_notthe7.fan

    B_notthe7.fan New Member

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    Stupid Law in San Antonio: It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.
     
  5. B_dumbcow

    B_dumbcow New Member

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    :rofl:
     
  6. B_notthe7.fan

    B_notthe7.fan New Member

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    It is also illegal to:

    Wear a 2-piece swimsuit in my home town (Melbourne VIC)

    Go whale-hunting in Utah, and I think

    It's still illegal in certain parts of the UK to be outside WITHOUT wearing a 3-corner hat
     
  7. got_lost

    Gold Member

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    more!
    more!
    more!

    Please? :biggrin1:
     
  8. B_notthe7.fan

    B_notthe7.fan New Member

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    Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan's well-oiled economic machine. It's only a mater of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail.


    What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it's something much more economically debilitating - and permanent.


    Three American lawyers have become the first foreign attorneys permitted to practice law in Japan. What's more, two of them are from New York!


    The decline has begun.


    Japan has one attorney for every 10,000 residents, compared to the U.S. ratio of one attorney for every 390 residents. For every 100 attorneys trained in Japan, there are 1,000 enginerrs. In the United States, that ratio is reversed.


    But a law that became effective on April 1 permits foreigners to practice in Japan for the first time since 1955. Already, an additional 20 American and six British lawyers have applied for permission to open practices in Japan.


    If anything can slow the Japanese economy, it's the presence of American attorneys. What better way to even our balance of trade than to send Japan our costliest surplus commodity?
     
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