Christian Guy About To Get Married

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_exal555, Jul 5, 2006.

  1. D_exal555

    D_exal555 New Member

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    Hello all. I never imagined myself posting someplace like this (you'll see why in a moment). I guess it's ok since sites like this are anonymous.

    I'm a religious, faithful Roman Catholic (raised that way) but I'm also quite open. I'm engaged to a like-minded woman and we are going to be married on September 9th.

    Here's where the personal stuff comes in: because of our religion beliefs I am a virgin and my fiancee and I have never been beyond second base (or first base, depending how you define it). I also have a rather large penis (as small as 6 inches and as large as 9 inches).

    I have a lot of concerns about our wedding night. Although no woman has seen me naked as an adult, my older brother and guys I showered with never told me I was "freakish." I realize that its considered to be a source of pride but the other side is I'm worried how she'll react. I've never told her about it because that would we weird. She also may ask to see it before we are married which would not only be weird but wrong (I hope you can relate to my religious beliefs).

    I've talked to my married brother about it a bit but he doesn't have the same "issue" as me. Will she be freaked out? Will she wished I would have told her? May I hurt her, and if so how do I prevent myself from doing so?

    Also, as a separate issue, should I trim myself down there? My brother says no but I think some women will appreciate it.

    My fiancee and I love each other and we'll make it through but I have some concerns. I guess it's the price you pay for not being like most people.

    I respect all of you guys and hope that you can help.

    Thanks, Alex
     
  2. mtguy1972

    mtguy1972 Member

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    Hi Alex:

    I have a few thoughts, just my two cents:

    Upon reading your message, one gets the sense that you love your fiancee a great deal, and that she likely feels the same way about you. I doubt she'll run shrieking from the room when she sees your penis. :smile:

    One word: COMMUNICATION. You say you're "open," but the fact that you haven't had this discussion with your partner (or seem unsure about having it) makes me wonder. Just communicate with her about being nervous, wanting to be gentle, ask her what feels good, what positions work, if she likes the man-bush, etc. It's normal to be nervous, and I can tell you want things to be special. if you trust yourself and have faith in your relationship, things will be fine.

    it's refreshing to hear a guy be honest about his worries and not put forth some false macho bravado. so many guys would hide it and think they have to go be a porn star.

    Talk to her; I bet she has worries about her own body and performance too. Talking about it will put it in the open and might create a sense of relief. Sex is intimate and special, and it's also fun. You guys can have great fun and intimacy in discovering this together. If you can't talk about it, then maybe not ready for marriage? (not to sound judgmental, just my own opinion).

    Good luck! I'll be interested to hear other's opinions...
     
  3. Dr Rock

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    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    well, you said it. what exactly is it that you're looking for "help" with? i mean, nobody forced you to be a religious nut, so your hangups would appear to be self-inflicted. I'm not sure why you're asking strangers on the internet to advise you when you've already decided what to do. we can't tell you whether it's a good or bad idea to marry somebody - only you can decide that.
     
  4. Macarion

    Macarion New Member

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    i dont really get that whole religious thing, i dont see what changes after you have the marriage ceremony, but whatever
     
  5. naughty

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    Congratuations Alex,

    What a wonderful testimony. I dont have any advice to give to you but I wanted to let you know that I think your story and your fiancee's is a lovely one. I too grew up in a conservative Christian household and one day hope to meet the man that God has intended for me. Why am I here? LOL! Well I was curious and have met a surprising number of wonderful people along the way. Hold to your resolve whatever makes you feel best.


    Naughty
     
  6. dreamer20

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    You both should get naked and examine each other before you marry and discuss any body concerns that you have. Why people chose to trim their nether regions is discussed here:
    http://www.lpsg.org/sex-with-a-large-penis/29775-st8-men-who-shave.html

    Talk about your fears before you take the plunge.
     
  7. Snozzle

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    The seems a little strange in the context of the virginity-before-marriage thing. She's marrying you, not just your penis, so what you have is what she gets. If it's not unusually thick, you should have no difficulty penetrating her. Make sure you have had enough foreplay for her to be thoroughly lubricated, but keep some KY handy in case she isn't.

    9" is long enough to hurt her, depending on her size and conformation, but some women would just love it (and if not now, maybe after childbirth). You may need to avoid agressive thrusting until you know what she enjoys. If she finds face-to-face uncomfortable, experiment with other positions - some rear-entry positions provide you with complete enclosure without deeply penetrating her.
     
  8. chico8

    chico8 New Member

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    I've heard that a lot of wedding nights aren't that great. Too much of a buildup. Don't expect fireworks and mind shattering sex, what you need to do is just go slow, be patient and talk about it. Don't feel that you have to do it now, but you do have to do it, your religion does not exempt you from this. Remember, communication is THE most important part of sex.

    There have been a few disparaging comments, take them with a grain of salt but don't lord your decisions over others, it's not very christian.
     
  9. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Alex, I went through the same worries when, as a virgin with a big dick, I got married at age 25. Don't worry about a thing. It'll all work out, or in, or in and out. You get my meaning.
     
  10. dolf250

    dolf250 New Member

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    First, it is nice to hear that you have lived your lives the way you want to and not given in to those liberal nut cases.:wink: My advice is similar to everyone else's. go slow; but I will add one more thing. Bring a good quality lube- otherwise things may be a little dry down there.
    Good luck.
     
  11. Love-it

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    If she hasn't seen a lot of penises you might be able to convince her that you are small or average. All kidding aside, be gentle, patient and go slow in the initial penetration. It is to your advantage that you know that you are above average in length, (what about girth?) and can adjust accordingly and you can explain to your lady that it may take time, and practice, for her to be able to accommodate you.
     
  12. brickbat

    brickbat Member

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    Alex: Congratulations on your restraint. I am about your size and my wife is a smaller woman about one foot shorter in height than me. I had the same fears. My cousins who had seen my penis when we were teenagers told me that I would hurt any girl. My wife and I were both virgins on our wedding night. My suggestions are to communicate now with your wife about sex. Just talk about it as you are together. Tell her that you will be gentle and plan on being very gentle. That was the one mistake I made. I thought I would bring my wife to orgasm like a stud the first time we had sex. I was rough and thought that orgasms came thru lots of gyrating and banging. Wrong... Wrong ...Wrong. Your wife as well as you yourself will probably be uptight and somewhat nervous on your first time. Get you some Astroglide lube. Before you enter, engage in lots of foreplay in a gentle fashion. Do lots of kissing, fondling, nuzzling of her breast and sucking of her breasts. Explore her body carressingly and gently all the while telling her how much you love her and are so glad you married her. I would say spend 20 to 30 minutes or more on foreplay. Foreplay relaxes your sweetie and arouses her as well as you. Then slather your dick with lots of astroglide and proceed gently into her vagina. Make sure that the lube is completely over all your head and all your shaft as wet as you can make it. Have a towel next to the bed to wipe your hands after you have slathered your dick down with lube. Once into the vagina, you may encounter her hymen, and if you do, shove gently, very gently past it. Again, thrust very gently and stop if sex becomes painful for her. I hope for you that your sweetie is like mine. She is a smaller woman but very very deep. I have heard her complain on very few occasions.

    Again, push gently into the vagina with a well lubed dick and be gentle with your thrusting. Enjoy the process. Once into the vagina, your dick will be on fire and all those years of saving yourself will prove that you have found the greatest toy a man can find--- a warm, enveloping, moist vagina that sends shock waves of pleasure thoughout your body and mind as nothing else can do. Enjoy your restraint big guy. Chances are you will have no problem and if you run into any discomfort that you cause, withdraw somewhat and take it slow and gentle. I envy your first time experience. You are going to be numbed and dazed with pleasure when you orgasm. As you grow together on your honeymoon, start thinking about her pleasure and how you can give her maximum pleasure. Lube up her clitoris and stoke it gently with your fingers or tongue. Be quick to try woman on top and let your sweetie work your dick like a gearshift lever. Many women orgasm easily that way. With woman on top, you can kiss her nipples and send both her and you over the edge quickly that way. Good luck man. PM me if you have specific concerns. We are alot alike in our sexual history.
     
  13. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    A quick response in the interest of avoiding too much redundancy since I'm too lazy to read everyone else's responses.

    First of all, all the people I know who have entered into marriage as virgins or sexually inexperienced have ended up regretting it. So I wish you good luck on that.

    Trimming your pubic hair would be nice. I wouldn't shave, some girls like that, some find it weird. But trimming doesn't hurt, just be careful not to cut yourself. That skin is really sensitive.

    as far as how she'll react.... if she's a virgin, too, then presumably she won't really know how big you really are, will she? 9 inches is huge, I know, and I've been with many girls who have had problems taking it all. But every girl is different. The last virgin I was with didn't have any problem taking me at all the very first time we had sex. She was 5'1" and very petite. and the next time we had sex she just kept telling me to go harder and deeper and we were fucking for a good 3 hours non-stop (had the scabs for a week later to prove it) yet she never complained once. On the other hand, this girl I dated for a while, 5'9", bigger girl (not fat, just bigger), fairly promiscuous, fairly experienced, only girl I've ever been able to fist completely, only girl I've ever been able to have full-on anal sex with.... she still had problems with my size sometimes when we had vaginal sex. I know those two extremes don't seem to fit... but my point is that every woman is different. Practice lots of foreplay, eat your wife out, see if you can get her to come through oral or manual stimulation before penetration, make sure she's highly aroused before you enter her, and go slow. It's probably going to hurt the first time, but it will be a lot easier if she is relaxed and highly stimulated, and it should get easier each successive time after that.

    I suck at responding briefly.. I really do...
     
  14. dreamer20

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    Don't get fightened Alex. Just keep a fire extinguisher or bucket of sand nearby.

    j/k :biggrin1:
     
  15. kurios

    kurios Member

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    Since you havent talked about any of these issues to date just press on.
    Forget about the trimming stuff and dont make a big deal of the size either.
    You being aware is one thing so, as others have indicated, bring the lube and extend the foreplay and take it easy. Making an issue of size may make her feel like she should have problems and so she will.
    If it is a first go for her it may be a bit rough 6 or 9. It all is in the way you do the introduction.
     
  16. visceraltuning

    visceraltuning New Member

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    Congratulations!!!

    My first words of advice are that, since religion seems to be very important to you, you and your future wife should get pre-marriage counseling through your church or another local parrish. Pre-marriage counseling is quite common, often is partially done in a group setting with other engaged couples, and will giving you an opportunity to discuss these important issues. Sex is an extremely important part of the intimacy in a marriage relationship and you should feel really comfortable with each other in that respect. Remember the church's prototypical model for marriage is the relationship between Adam and Eve, and it was written about then "they were naked and unashamed."

    Second, it is always challenging for two virgins to have sex for the first time. Some the issues that you might encounter are:

    - Positioning: Just being physically intertwind with another person is a little awkward

    - Her First Penetration: Unless she was a very intense athlete (intense running, groin stretching like doing the splits) , had a OBGYN exam that included a manual exam or speculum, used tampons or any other item that required penetration, she may have an intact hymen. If she does have an intact hymen then you will have to put considerable pressure on it to break it, which can be bloody and uncomfortable. However, before all that begins, you will want her to be very relaxed, so do a lot of kissing, touching, and rubbing. Pay attention to her breasts, neck, and legs. This will help relax the muscles in and around her vaginal opening and also encourage her vagina to become very lubricated.

    - Your First Penetration: You may need to ask her to guide you in. Since you have a large penis, you will have to be very firm but gentle and slow. If she asks you to take it easy, then take it easy. You may ejaculate rather quickly or even prematurely ejaculate but don't worry about it because there is always time for a second round.

    - Both of you should know that although sex is natural, it is also a skill. Overtime, you will improve on you ability to satisfy each other. Do not be discouraged if she does not have an orgasm the first time she has sex because almost no woman has an orgasm the first time. However, many women still have a very strong sense of satisfaction for the level of intimacy achieved.

    You have my best wishes. Have a wonderful time discovering each other ;)
     
  17. Macarion

    Macarion New Member

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    AKA the way your parents told you to
     
  18. B_Stronzo

    B_Stronzo New Member

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    Sage advice from our "dreamer".

    Nice work dude!:wink:

    Oh yes. That's ideal. All 'liberal nut cases' would advise you to whore around prior to getting married and once you do have a few mistresses on the side...:rolleyes:

    Anyone who chooses to wait until his wedding night to try out sex is begging for trouble.

    Signed,

    Resident liberal nut case.
     
  19. dreamer20

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    Thank you sweet resident of Dune.:beerchug2:
     
  20. D_Coyne Toss

    D_Coyne Toss New Member

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    Congratulations for your wedding, friend, and God bless the two of you and the family you are gonna form.

    Regarding your questions, i think that you just should be yourself, both regarding trimming and size. She loves you, i assume, and she will love your whole body (not to mention your soul) regardless how big or hairy you are.

    You might have some problems the first times you do it, but time love and patience will be your great allies.
     
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