planecrash
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Slightly off topic, but still relevant...
Aside from the religious aspects which I don't believe in, I do believe something that lays a solid foundation for the start of a marriage work that I was told by the pastor that married my wife and me... communication... not just talking, but really sitting down and working everything out before you get married. there were 6 topics that he gave us to sit down and discuss over a week. You want to really discuss these in detail so there are no surprises down there road. You don't want to get to a point in you marriage and realize your wife and you are on totally different wavelengths when it comes to these things. Unfortunately I can't remember all of them, but here are 5.
Money
Conflict
Sex
Kids
Religion
You want to explore all aspects of these (I wish I could remember the other 1). For example, with kids, not just how many you want to have and all that BS, that's the easy stuff. but what happens if you find out before birth that your kid has down syndrome, or will be a vegetable. I'm assuming since you are so religious that you are probably against abortion. But what happens when your wife comes to you and says she wants to get an abortion because she doesn't want to raise a handicapped kid, or wants to put him up for adoption. You laugh at me because you think you know that she won't say that, but have you talked about it??? I'm assuming not. And if you have, have you talked about the values you want to instill in your children, your goals for his education? What if you can't have kids, will you adopt, or is that out of the question?
As with money, have you discussed how you will save, and how each of your spending habits will affect your long term plans? What are your long term plans WRT money? Are there any plans to go back to school or other career ambitions?
As for conflict, have you discussed how you feel after you have an argument? (do you feel like you've accomplished something, or is the issue still out there?) (Don't say that you never argue, that's BS)
What religion has taught you is that sex is something that shouldn't be done outside of marriage, and probably shouldn't even be talked about, but as much as some people don't want to admit it, it is probably the most important part of the marriage. If you haven't discussed sex before you get married, FOR GOD SAKES DO IT!!!! You should know each other's experiences, failures and successes. What feels good and what doesn't.
Again, the reason for doing all this is to avoid surprises down the road.
Hope this helps even a little.
Aside from the religious aspects which I don't believe in, I do believe something that lays a solid foundation for the start of a marriage work that I was told by the pastor that married my wife and me... communication... not just talking, but really sitting down and working everything out before you get married. there were 6 topics that he gave us to sit down and discuss over a week. You want to really discuss these in detail so there are no surprises down there road. You don't want to get to a point in you marriage and realize your wife and you are on totally different wavelengths when it comes to these things. Unfortunately I can't remember all of them, but here are 5.
Money
Conflict
Sex
Kids
Religion
You want to explore all aspects of these (I wish I could remember the other 1). For example, with kids, not just how many you want to have and all that BS, that's the easy stuff. but what happens if you find out before birth that your kid has down syndrome, or will be a vegetable. I'm assuming since you are so religious that you are probably against abortion. But what happens when your wife comes to you and says she wants to get an abortion because she doesn't want to raise a handicapped kid, or wants to put him up for adoption. You laugh at me because you think you know that she won't say that, but have you talked about it??? I'm assuming not. And if you have, have you talked about the values you want to instill in your children, your goals for his education? What if you can't have kids, will you adopt, or is that out of the question?
As with money, have you discussed how you will save, and how each of your spending habits will affect your long term plans? What are your long term plans WRT money? Are there any plans to go back to school or other career ambitions?
As for conflict, have you discussed how you feel after you have an argument? (do you feel like you've accomplished something, or is the issue still out there?) (Don't say that you never argue, that's BS)
What religion has taught you is that sex is something that shouldn't be done outside of marriage, and probably shouldn't even be talked about, but as much as some people don't want to admit it, it is probably the most important part of the marriage. If you haven't discussed sex before you get married, FOR GOD SAKES DO IT!!!! You should know each other's experiences, failures and successes. What feels good and what doesn't.
Again, the reason for doing all this is to avoid surprises down the road.
Hope this helps even a little.