Christian Guy About To Get Married

planecrash

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Slightly off topic, but still relevant...
Aside from the religious aspects which I don't believe in, I do believe something that lays a solid foundation for the start of a marriage work that I was told by the pastor that married my wife and me... communication... not just talking, but really sitting down and working everything out before you get married. there were 6 topics that he gave us to sit down and discuss over a week. You want to really discuss these in detail so there are no surprises down there road. You don't want to get to a point in you marriage and realize your wife and you are on totally different wavelengths when it comes to these things. Unfortunately I can't remember all of them, but here are 5.

Money
Conflict
Sex
Kids
Religion

You want to explore all aspects of these (I wish I could remember the other 1). For example, with kids, not just how many you want to have and all that BS, that's the easy stuff. but what happens if you find out before birth that your kid has down syndrome, or will be a vegetable. I'm assuming since you are so religious that you are probably against abortion. But what happens when your wife comes to you and says she wants to get an abortion because she doesn't want to raise a handicapped kid, or wants to put him up for adoption. You laugh at me because you think you know that she won't say that, but have you talked about it??? I'm assuming not. And if you have, have you talked about the values you want to instill in your children, your goals for his education? What if you can't have kids, will you adopt, or is that out of the question?

As with money, have you discussed how you will save, and how each of your spending habits will affect your long term plans? What are your long term plans WRT money? Are there any plans to go back to school or other career ambitions?

As for conflict, have you discussed how you feel after you have an argument? (do you feel like you've accomplished something, or is the issue still out there?) (Don't say that you never argue, that's BS)

What religion has taught you is that sex is something that shouldn't be done outside of marriage, and probably shouldn't even be talked about, but as much as some people don't want to admit it, it is probably the most important part of the marriage. If you haven't discussed sex before you get married, FOR GOD SAKES DO IT!!!! You should know each other's experiences, failures and successes. What feels good and what doesn't.
Again, the reason for doing all this is to avoid surprises down the road.

Hope this helps even a little.
 

D_exal555

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Thank you all so much. Your practical advice was helpful. And we are going to have a talk.

If it's appropriate, I'll get back to you.

YOu've helped me more than you realize.
 

agnslz

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What bullshit! If this guy is such a "religous" virgin why is he asking for advice on a slightly pornographic website? I know this is also a "support" group where men with large penises can ask for advice but should "religous" guys with big dicks even be looking at sites like this? BTW how did you come across this site Alex? Also why is it that so many supposedly straight conservative people, especially guys, peruse such a homoerotic website with tons of big dick pictures? I guess you all just read the articles here too huh? Alex I hope your religous high-mindedness will eventually prevent you from posting further on a site with such dirty pictures!! I am one of all those other people you mentioned not being like. I am proud to be a "liberal nutcase" as someone else said, and am also proud to still be a virgin at 25 years old. Holding liberal views and thinking it's OK for people to have sex outside of marriage doesn't mean you have as well. To each his own or to everybody else fuck off! You see Alex, being conservative or "religous" or Christian or a devoted Catholic (I was raised Catholic as well) doesn't make you better than everybody else it's just part of who YOU are! I respect who you are Alex, but please stop with the condescending comments like in your first post! In all seriousness I hope everything goes well for you. If you do however scare your new wife away with your big dick you can always try hooking up with Naughty! She apparently likes big dicks and holds your conservative Christian values as well! I bet you two would make for a perfect fit.

:wink:
 

Pirate Wench

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Reinforcing what others have said here....
Communication is the key.
Do not feel it is wrong to discuss such things before you marry.

Do not be disappointed if the wedding night is less than ideal.
You'll have plenty of time to get it like you want it with practice and time.

I re-read your post and you do not specifically state that She is a virgin.
Maybe I missed something.
If she is Not a virgin then you won't have quite as much to worry about causing her any pain....but I'd still take the foreplay advice that's already been offered here.

Having some Astroglide on hand is an excellent idea !
Here's a link from one of the many places online to buy it:
I have ordered from Xandria before.
They are reliable and the return address Won't say Xandria if you order from them !
Also you won't have to worry about anyone seeing you buy anything if that's a concern.

http://www.xandria.com/sex-toys/lotions-lubes-condoms/sexual-lubricants/astroglide-id-145.html

Wishing you and your fiance' the best of luck !
 

headbang8

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agnslz said:
What bullshit! If this guy is such a "religous" virgin why is he asking for advice on a slightly pornographic website? I know this is also a "support" group where men with large penises can ask for advice but should "religous" guys with big dicks even be looking at sites like this? BTW how did you come across this site Alex? Also why is it that so many supposedly straight conservative people, especially guys, peruse such a homoerotic website with tons of big dick pictures? I guess you all just read the articles here too huh?...
I know a number of good Christian gentlemen who frequent this site because...well, they have large penises. And they sought to give and get good, honest advice, which is, frankly, not available anywhere else.

We may engage in some raunchy conversation, but this site is hardly pornography.

Alex actually DID come here for the articles, it seems.
 
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dreamer20

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agnslz said:
What bullshit! If this guy is such a "religious" virgin why is he asking for advice on a slightly pornographic website? I know this is also a "support" group where men with large penises can ask for advice but should "religious" guys with big dicks even be looking at sites like this?
He came here for our sexual advice as opposed to approaching a R.C.C. priest who by virtue of his vows of celebacy couldn't be much help IMO.

Also why is it that so many supposedly straight conservative people, especially guys, peruse such a homoerotic website with tons of big dick pictures?
That's what repressed people like to do. It's loads of fun. Even the Vatican has its homoerotic art.

Alex I hope your religious high-mindedness will eventually prevent you from posting further on a site with such dirty pictures!! ...You see Alex, being conservative or "religious" or Christian or a devoted Catholic (I was raised Catholic as well) doesn't make you better than everybody else it's just part of who YOU are! I respect who you are Alex, but please stop with the condescending comments like in your first post!
:wink:
Alex was not condescending IMO. In fact it was dolf250 who used the term "liberal nutcases" and Alex was referred to as "a religious nut" by another poster.

Alex555 said:
I respect all of you guys and hope that you can help.

Thanks, Alex
Alex knows the mindset of the R.C.C. but he clearly stated that he is an open minded person and has treated us with the utmost respect. Whenever you have a problem come back to the forum Alex.

lol dreamer20
 

Lordpendragon

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As a fully committed agnostic (that's a joke BTW) your church wants to control your mind and body - if that's what you want then fine - but you can't have your cake and eat it - you may both have major problems - you could both be gay for all you know.

I don't really know what second base is, but my well intentioned advice would be to go beyond this - get some familiarity with each other's taboo zones - then not only will the first night not be such a shock but you should find a greater desire to go that final step when it comes to the big night.

Good luck though - when you drop your pants - it may just confirm her faith in your god.
 

D_hfgdvb

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Alex, I am proud of you for waiting...and happy that you found someone who waited as well. This concern you have is really nothing to be so nervous about. God, whom you've honored with your restraint, created sex...and all the pleasures and passions that go with it. I can't imagine that He would pair up you and your honey and neglect to see that you both fit in all areas! Relax, and take it easy. I suggest that you embark on your wedding night without pressuring yourself to penetrate her at all. Just explore her body with yours. Every inch of her. Use your hands, your tongue, and just breathe in her scent. Your cock will be rock hard the whole time...I think it will put her at ease, you not rushing...and before you know it, the two "strangers" will be face to face and nature will simply take its course. Just DONT RUSH IT!!!
 

Jeffin90620

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Alex555 said:
... I am a virgin and my fiancee and I have never been beyond second base... I also have a rather large penis.

I have a lot of concerns about our wedding night.

Also, as a separate issue, should I trim myself down there? My brother says no but I think some women will appreciate it.
During my freshman year in college, the oldest woman in the dorms was a divorcee (I think she was 26). As is common, we would sit around in the evenings talking about all sorts of things (usually unrelated to our studies). With 4-10 18 year olds in the room, half of them guys, it is hardly surprising that the topic of sex, specifically experiences one has had, would be a topic of conversation.

This woman (I forget her name, but it's been over 20 years) had been a virgin on her wedding night and her husband was about 10" (which meant absolutely nothing to her until she was divorced, started dating other men and realized that there was a lot of variation). She was a white woman, about 5 foot 2 or 3, average build, and she could still walk after being married to him for 5 years, so it is not a major concern, but still not a forgettable one.

I've got 8" (just barely, although some insist on measuring along the underside, past the balls, which would give me over 10", but I don't count what I can't use). This has been too much for vigorous, full penetration in every position for just about every white woman I have been with except those 5'10"+ or who have given vaginal birth.

That said, I have had very satisfactory encounters with many women who are of normal height. I just have to be careful of their limits.

You're longer than I am, so you will have to be careful, too. Don't make the same mistakes I made when I was just starting out:

1. Your religious beliefs may prohibit oral sex, so be sure to use your fingers for enough foreplay; 5-15 minutes will usually be enough (her mileage may vary, so pay attention to how her body is responding).
2. Trim those fingernails neatly, especially on the sides, and just because you've got four fingers doesn't mean you should try to find out how many will fit... one to start and work your way up to two (maximum). Come to think of it, you don't even have to digitally penetrate her right away; her sensitive spot may actually be an inch or so above the vaginal opening.
3. Don't do it (any "it") too hard!
4. Stick it in slowly, and be sensitive to her body's reactions (she will be nervous, too, and might think that any pain is her fault and something to be endured).
5. Once you've started coitus, don't let it finish too quickly. The average man lasts only 3 minutes; the average woman needs 15 for a satisfactory completion. One trick is to let her get on top; this has two advantages, she does what feels good to her (which may not be enough for you to get off, allowing you to last longer) and she controls just how much enters her (minimizing any discomfort).

Remember that she may still have a hymen (although it is common for even moderately athletic women to break it in the normal course of events, so don't let its absence lead to any unpleasant suppositions on your part). Because of this, the first intercourse will be more painful. She should be aware of this beforehand.

There is probably a lot more I could say, but this should cover the basics.
 

Lordpendragon

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Jeffin90620 said:
She was a white woman, about 5 foot 2 or 3, average build, and she could still walk after being married to him for 5 years, so it is not a major concern, but still not a forgettable one.

This has been too much for vigorous, full penetration in every position for just about every white woman I have been with except those 5'10"+ or who have given vaginal birth.

There is probably a lot more I could say, but this should cover the basics.

I'm scared.
 

zaza

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I had always thought that it was best to pick the right moment to have sex for the first time, when you both feel ready. For me the guy I first had sex with had built up the experience gradually.This will also apply to you, you may not be ready on your wedding night for full penetrative sex.
 

Mumzi

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zaza said:
I had always thought that it was best to pick the right moment to have sex for the first time, when you both feel ready. For me the guy I first had sex with had built up the experience gradually.This will also apply to you, you may not be ready on your wedding night for full penetrative sex.

Exactly. You may not be able to have intercourse the first time or the second.
I'm not sure if you mean you are 6" girth, but my husband used to be almost 6 & 1/2 when he had a strong erection. That was 20 years ago.

I was not a virgin, but I had little experience. One day when we were just cuddling he told me he wished we could have the romantic, heated first time, but in realty that might not happen.
We did talk about the fact that it might not be that great. That made more sense than not saying anything and when the moment arrived, things go downhill.

We did not have intercourse on the first 3 or 4 tries. When he was able to get in about an inch, he had to just stop there. It was just too uncomfortable.
We actually did that quite a few times and just stayed in that position for 10-15 min.
One day he was able to get in a little more and then more and that was how it went!

I think having a sense of humor about it helped a lot. What can you do but laugh. All you can think is "no one would belive this".

You two need to talk. If you can't talk about sex......well, let's just say you need to begin now.

 

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Alex,

A late response. I have been (more or less) in the position you are in now. It worked out fine and more than fine. You've already had some good advice (as well as a little of the reverse, sad to say).

It might be good to give her an idea of what she has to expect; she must already know you are big, but probably not how big. Pick a suitable moment and take her hands in yours so she can begin to get to know you more definitely. It is better that way than what might be total shock at your size when she sees it for the first time.

Also you can reassure her when the time comes that you only intend to put a small fraction in ... you will know that she has to be comfortable with your thickness before you can begin going in to any depth at all.

She is a lucky woman, but no doubt she already knows that.
 

D_exal555

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yes I'm thinking of disrobing on the wedding night sometime before "the big deed." I don't have any idea how much she knows.

We're going to have a general "wedding night" talk soon. Hopefully I'll have good news to report.
 

D_exal555

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Hello--I was just thinking of this site.

I thought that it would be ok to come back and tell you all that everything went very well and that all is well.

Alex
 

ONB

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Wow, congrats Alex... that's great news. I wasn't here for the original discussion, but I'm glad I caught the positive ending. ;)
 

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And don't worry it will get even better and better ;-)..

Best of luck to you..
 

gfhfsdjhkk

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Not to worry, your penis will most likely in no way harm your wife during sexual intercourse. A nine inch penis is very long, but yet not long enough to cause damage and pain to the vagina, unless she is thight og have any medical problems concerning this area.