Rather that waste your money on a book like that I recommend all men and women should read David Shade's 'The Secrets of Female Sexuality' .... it's hilarious and actually useful.
This isn't an exact quote, but there was a bit in this book that said that a man wants a women who 'is a slave in the kitchen, a lady in the living room and a slut in the bedroom' and that a woman wants a man who is 'a gentleman in the living room, a workhorse at the office and an animal in the bedroom'.
His book explained male and female dynamics and how we complement eachother such as the Shiva/Shakti design (or Yin/Yang etc)... and this dynamics holds true for gay and lesbain couples two.
Lovers/life partners are complementary to one another and should support eachother in such a way. No surrendering required!
Must read that one and see!
Another good one is: Mating in Captivity - Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel. As interesting and informed read, though her writing style gets a bit tedious, as she's fairly self-congratulatory throughout.
Then there's the unbelievably psychologically unhealthy
"The Rules (TM): Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right" by Ellen Fein and Shelly Schneider. My girlfriend at the time, a psychologist, got it to see what all all the hype was about, as it was taking America by storm. She couldn't believe it, as it boils down to ... manipulation and subterfuge are how to establish and hold onto a successful marriage.
I read a few chapters of it too, and
really thought it was a tongue-in-cheek satire - I could not believe anyone was touting this stuff as being useful to establish intimate relationships, as it sounded like 1950's agony aunt advice. It makes for unintentionally hilarious and appalling reading, and I laughed so much at it that I had tears coming out of my eyes at the bizzareness of the suggestions in it.
The reviews on Amazon.com will give you an idea of how it polarises readers -
"Radon for the soul" says one;
"Sexist garbage", another;
"Every girl needs this book";
"Fun Reinforcement";
"This is a must read"
"I'd say this is just about the worst book ever written" .. and so on for 588 reviews.
Here's a few of the rules (paraphrased - I don't have a copy) - read and weep!:
"
Never let a man see you iwthout make-up. Get up about an hour before he does to put on your face."
"Don't make eye contact or chase men and they will want to chase you."
"Rarely return his calls"
"If you stay over at his place (and
never before the 3rd date) get up early and say: "Oh my God I've got so many interesting things to do today!". This gives the impression you have an active and fulfilled life, and are not just waiting around for him to call".
So... good if you need at laugh, terrible if you were actually looking for advice on having real fulfilling relationships with authentic men.
Did any of the contributers on this thread read it? Any idea why was it such a bestseller in the states? Are a large enough section of the population so disconnected in their ability to form fulfilling relationships that, from their perspective, it seemed like useful advice?