Christmas jokes

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by D_Doewell Dadong, Nov 27, 2009.

  1. D_Doewell Dadong

    D_Doewell Dadong New Member

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    Post all your christmas jokes below. lets get festive. i will get the ball rolling.

    what does a transvestite do at christmas? eat drink and be mary.
     
  2. beretta8

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    A little kid sits on Santa's lap, and Santa says, "What would you like for Christmas?"
    The kid says, "A damn swingset."
    Santa says, "You'll have to ask nicer than that if you want Santa to bring you presents. Let's try again. What else would you like?"
    The kid says, "A damn sandbox for the side yard."
    Santa says, "That's no way to talk to Santa. One more time. What else would you like for Christmas?"
    The boy thinks for a minute, and then he says, "I want a damn trampoline in the front yard."
    Santa lifts the boy off his lap and goes to talk to the kid's parents. He tells them what the kid said, and then says, "I know how to stop it. Don't get him anything for Christmas except dog doo. Put a pile of dog doo in the backyard where he wants the swingset, put another pile in the side yard where he wants the sandbox, and another pile in the front yard where he wants the trampoline. That should make him change his tune."
    Christmas morning the kid goes downstairs to open his presents, and there aren't any. He runs out the back door, looks around, and comes back in. He runs out the side door, looks around, and comes back in. He runs out the front door, looks around, and comes back in, shaking his head.
    His father says, "What's wrong, son?"
    The kid says, "Santa brought me a damn dog, but I can't find him."
     
  3. jakeatolla

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    Why is Santa's Sack so large ??
    He only comes once a year!!!
     
  4. Not_Punny

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    Well, that's what happens when you're pole is north all the time!
     
  5. chicagosam

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    "The snowman in the yard
    Is frozen hard . . ."
    —Lyric from the song "Let It Snow!"
     
  6. unzipped

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    of course where do all the female reindeer (and some gays) go on Xmas Eve...??

    Into town, of course, to blow a few bucks!! uz
     
  7. nakedwally

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