Originally posted by GoneA@Oct 23 2005, 12:26 AM
This experience seems..........metaphysical.
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Um ... at the time, I don't know if it was. I think that at the time it was just boys being "boys." It was just this kind of bonding. But looking back, yes, it seems to have been metaphysical and beautiful.
I suppose one thing that makes it seem that it was metaphysical and beautiful is that I now realize how rare it is, and that I will most likely never do this again -- because at the point I'm at, being close to another man as he masturbates kind of sickens me. The thought sickens me. But at the point when my friend and I were doing this, it seemed no more "sexual" or "gay" than to stand next to him while he was brushing his teeth. And when I did this with the two brothers, it felt more like a mentoring thing, sort of like, "This is what our bodies do, and our bodies are okay."
It's such an odd thing to explain. I think it is something like this: it is indeed a sexual act, but it wasn't directed at one another. It was like, "My body does the same as your body does, and knowing that your body is like mine is helpful for me and makes me realize I'm normal." It wasn't really, "You're hot and sexy and I wanna get off on your body!"
The truth of the matter is that there is a closeness that straight men have with one another that I think a lot of gay men can't understand. With straight men, it is often this idea of merging one's maleness with the other's maleness; not an issue of "you are sexy thing that I am turned on by."
So hard to explain. And the truth, of course, is that at some level it is indeed a bit gay, but the truth is that at some level all "straight" men are a bit gay as well. (Myself among them, obviously.)
By the way, I have no real "right" to be on this forum, because I'm only average length. My best friend is 10 inches. At one point (about seven years ago, when I was in my early 20s), I had suggested to him that we should have something akin to a circle jerk, and thank God he said "NO!" That would've been the end of our friendship. The reason, by the way, that I suggested this is that my best friend and I spent a lot of time talking about masturbation. He shared with me certain techniques I hadn't known about, and vice versa (such as stroking the penis all the way to the base; previously, I had only stroked down to the circumcision line on my penis).
My best friend and I never did jack off together, though we do swap a lot of (straight) porn.
Anyone remember that show "The Man Show"? I remember Adam Corrolla and Jimmy Kimmel mentioning that the two of them spent a great deal of time talking about masturbation. Ever listen to Howard Stern and the guys on his show? They talk about it a lot too. In fact, I remember Jackie (former sidekick and joke writer) said that when he was a little boy, he and his friends used to masturbate together.
To be honest, sometimes straight men are so fuckin' gay that I don't know what the point of labels is. Well, I've never (and have no interest in ever) had anal sex, so there's a difference. But you get what I mean.