Claire's been a bad girl...

dlcs

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ClaireTalon said:
I could see a ring as a challenge, but it's the guy's decision, though, who'd say no to me if I give the serious impression of a girl who's out to find someone for her bed? I guess men sometimes think they're not meant to be the one to say no, and it's the woman who has to do so.

But you're damn right I enjoyed myself.

Therein lies the answer. All hail the Double Standard.
 

KidBrown

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I took a flight to Vegas this weekend and got married to Selma Hayek at a drive thru chapel. Since I'm a devout Mormon, she's wife eleven......Angelina Jolie will make it an even dozen. All you gotta do is give the attendant an extra twenty bucks and he ignores the fact that she's got a knife to her throat and is bound in duct tape. What a city.

Seriously though, if I had sex with a married woman (and didn't know before the act), I wouldn't feel one shred of remorse Claire. Especially if it was a really fun time !!

It's 3:30 in the morning, I don't have to work tommorow which is amazing......but I can't fall asleep and I'm out of Ny-Quil. It's time for some of my fantastic logic. I'm gonna go ahead and say it's ok to drink a couple shots of bourbon if your sole purpose is to sleep. Feel free to disagree. Whiskey lullabye time.

Back to step 1: admitting you have a problem, hahaha.
 

autumnbreeze4321

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Claire,

I'm glad that you are not letting this get you down. It was his choice to make.

I unknowingly sleeping with a married man several times before finding out (I mutual female freind tipped me off, but GAWD the sex was good). I was meeting him at a bar about 2 miles from where I lived. I invited him back to my place and insisted on driving because he had been drinking. He left his jacket in his car in the bar parking lot.

When we got to my place I got inside before he did and locked the door. Of course he was pissed and combative, but I gave him 3 choices: 1) I'd call his wife, 2) I'd call the cops, 3) or he could leave and walk back to his car.

HE was sober enough to choose option 3. I got my revenge.
 

curious n str8

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You played a dangerous game there Autumn, but I glad things worked out for the best for you. Myself I would have made him sweat it out a bit more (see my earlier post in this thread) :D
 

Love-it

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If your lovemaking decisions are based on the presence or absence of a wedding ring your conclusions may be wrong. We have been married for over 30 years and I have never worn or owned a ring because I work with machinery. I have never had an affair. My wife had an affair when she was still wearing her wedding ring 18 years ago, now she doesn't wear her wedding ring because of the type of work she does.

Rings are dangerous!
A friend of mine was welding when he badly burned his ring finger, his wedding ring shorted out the welding circuit and what was left of the ring had to be cut off, he very nearly lost his finger. When I worked at a winery a man left his ring finger on a nail head on a wall, when he used his hand to steady himself while jumping off a stack of wine cases.
 

MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

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I was around 20-21 and had briefly hooked up with girl I met through one of my best friends. He was married to her half sister. She had one infant daughter and was reportedly divorced. Only problem was, not even remotely true at all; she was separated from her husband, not divorced like I'd been told, and on top of that, she was also preggers with their 2nd child. I hadn't slept with her, and I'll tell you what; I'm glad I didn't.

But I also don't hold myself responsible for the whole situation since certain things were omitted and undisclosed.
 

ClaireTalon

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I guess this matter isn't new for anyone, it seems - happy not to be alone! I really don't mind a lot, as long as I won't be stalked for one hot night. I can understand it if men temporarily want to have sex with me though they're married, as long as, from my part, I can say that it was once, and won't damage his marriage (more than it already is, maybe).

In your opinion, who could keep the secret of a little fun roll on the side to himself? A wife, or a husband? Might be interesting in this context.
 

madame_zora

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ClaireTalon said:
In your opinion, who could keep the secret of a little fun roll on the side to himself? A wife, or a husband? Might be interesting in this context.

Sweetheart, a husband, of course! The average man lies so much he no longer realises he does it. No one can reasonably deny that the majority of men they know cheat on their spouses, and while this isn't exclusive to men, the numbers are certainly MUCH higher.

Claire, you and I are in the extreme minority of sexually liberated women, and I wish it were not so. I look forward to a time where people can relate to each other without feeling the NEED to lie, but this would require our SOCIETY to grow up in this aspect. Americans arrogantly refuse to acknowledge the fact that we are still in our infancy in social development.

It is also well known that men tend to have more frequent sexual thoughts than women by a long shot and also more sex drive in general. We know what it's like for them, don't we? How would you like to be betrothed to some sniveling airhead who questioned your every move while she starved you out for sex? Of course, if you cheat, she'll NEVER take responsibility for withholding sex from you in the first place, she'll just play the role of the long suffering wife with a rogue of a husband. He'll lose half his pension, rights to see his kids, the house and any form of stability in life he has worked for if he is honest about needing to have his sexual needs met. An unequal situation, for sure. Women can never be equal until WE start acting equal, and we could begin by not acting like 12 year olds who never grow up, needing constant reassurances we don't look fat, shying away from sex, not earning our fair share, and generally allowing ourselves to become vegetative, stupid and unappealing to our mate. Bet you weren't asking for all of that!

So my answer is that men lie more, but women have more than a passing share in creating an environment where this is almost necessary. I KNOW that at least a small part of the attraction to being gay for many men is the aspect of not having a woman trying to control their every move and using sex as the catalyst.
 

TylerDurden

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Wow zora....I totally agree with everything you just said, insofar as American social development. People seem to forget that we're still a young nation, that for all her successes, is still forming a real cultural conscience.

Claire....I'll admit to helping cover for friends who cheated on their significant others - the issue being that THEY chose to go out and chose to have the intention of finding someone other than their SO to have sex with. So in my opinion, you aren't in the wrong here, he is....and karma can be such a bitch :)
 

madame_zora

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aloofman said:
Any proof of this? Or just your observation?

Well, if you actually READ my post you would know that it was more of an entreaty to ask YOURSELF about the people you know personally. It is my observation that men lie significantly more, and have sexual thoughts significantly more. I related these two things in the way I personally see them relating. Please feel free to google whatever you want if you doubt the content of my supposition about either thing. I thought this was common knowledge, but if it ain't, it ain't.

I thought I was equally brutal to both genders, wasn't i?
 

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ClaireTalon said:
What really annoys me is that it seems all the great guys are taken. Do I really have to go to war with another chick just to get a man? *wondering*


He's not a great guy. He's a cheater.

You, on the other hand, are a great gal. I never ask about marital status either. It just does not occur to me that a man who is not single would approach me. I'm always stunned when a man asks me if I'm single. Stunnned. I have stuttered a few times, which I'm sure sounded like malarky. Anyway, he had certain obligations to her, and certain ones to you, and he failed both rolls.

(That's rolls, not roles, it's a gaming term.)
 

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Zora, I'll go a step further.

I agree with almost everything you said. I even fully expect a man to cheat on me, and that's why I refuse to date anyone who isn't smarter than I (because when it happens, I want him to get away with keeping his secrets).

But I'm not one of those women who can't match a man's sex drive, and who won't put out even when not in the mood. (I figure I'm off the hook if I don't feel like it during my period.) However, I get cheated on anyway. I think this is just how men are. You can't keep a cheater from cheating, not even by giving in to his every request. Like you said, it is a fact that men spend far more time thinking about sex than women do.
 

BobLeeSwagger

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BronxBombshell said:
Zora, I'll go a step further.

I agree with almost everything you said. I even fully expect a man to cheat on me, and that's why I refuse to date anyone who isn't smarter than I (because when it happens, I want him to get away with keeping his secrets).

But I'm not one of those women who can't match a man's sex drive, and who won't put out even when not in the mood. (I figure I'm off the hook if I don't feel like it during my period.) However, I get cheated on anyway. I think this is just how men are. You can't keep a cheater from cheating, not even by giving in to his every request. Like you said, it is a fact that men spend far more time thinking about sex than women do.

This is not "how men are." As a guy who has never cheated on a woman (or really even come close), I feel sorry for you. I have had two girlfriends cheat on me though, and both had a previous history that warped how they thought men and women were expected to respect each other. I want to thrash any guy who causes women to think this way.
 

D_Elijah_MorganWood

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Two things:
1. Years ago I worked in a restaurant in the Los Angeles area. At a booth on the far wall sat a good looking 40-ish Mexican guy and a barely legal but gorgeous Latina. I was busy and didn't think of them until the commotion started: his wife was standing there with his three children screaming at his date in Spanish (I'll translate): You fucking whore! This is my husband! Why are you fucking my husband, you homewrecking whore! (at this point the wife threw the date's Sangria in her face) How could you lure my husband into this? You fucking lowlife prostitute! I'll kill you if you ever come near my husband again! (at this point she threw the date's plate of Spagetti Marinara in her face, seized her husband by the hand as he threw a 100 dollar bill on the table and left). The whole time the date said nothing. She knew he was married. I brought her some hot towels. She was shaking and humiliated, covered in Sangria and Spagetti.

2. My sister is currently fucking a married man, hellbent on breaking up his marriage. None of my business. She's 19.
 

ClaireTalon

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Sorcerer said:
<.> She was shaking and humiliated, covered in Sangria and Spagetti. <.>

Now, that's what I'd call humiliation, the poor thing. My guess is that this guy is an asshole too, my idea of a guy is someone who'd get those two apart, no matter whether it's a prostitute, an exclusive callgirl, just a girlfriend or whatever.
 

EnglishGentleman

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I have to say even I bristle at the suggestion that men are more prone to lying than women, and I honestly don't think it's the case. I once went past a girls clothes shop which had a tshirt in the window that said only "MEN LIE" and can remember feeling very hurt, since I personally am very proud of my honesty and candour and don't like the stereotype. I don't think it's possible to generalise without hurting people so I hope I don't do it very often myself.

What I would agree on categorically though is that on the subject of infidelity, men are by far the most prolific liars. My personal opinion is that men and women are equally as prone to falsehood, but tend to fib about different things. Moreso that any "men vs women" generalisations are, again just my opinion, generalisations to an extreme that becomes untenable at times.

I'd also agree that women, whilst by no means innocent, are statistically less likely to cheat (and get caught or admit to it) than men.

I've been cheated on (which hurts like hell) and I've been a cheat myself (for which I still feel guilt to this day) and I think I'd rather not be in either situation again. Whilst I'm single I'll enjoy sex with other single people, but if love comes into play - I know I'd have to stick to the one-on-one experience. My heart hasn't got the mettle to handle the pain it caused me either way.
 

10man

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ClaireTalon said:
I could see a ring as a challenge, but it's the guy's decision, though, who'd say no to me if I give the serious impression of a girl who's out to find someone for her bed? I guess men sometimes think they're not meant to be the one to say no, and it's the woman who has to do so.

But you're damn right I enjoyed myself.

increadible analogy claire..i think you are 100% rite. most men who are out looking wont say no, especially to a seductive lookin ladie as yourself.
 

D_Elijah_MorganWood

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ClaireTalon said:
Now, that's what I'd call humiliation, the poor thing. My guess is that this guy is an asshole too, my idea of a guy is someone who'd get those two apart, no matter whether it's a prostitute, an exclusive callgirl, just a girlfriend or whatever.
My feeling was the girl was there because she wanted to be, the wife was just calling dirty names.