Over the last 6 months or so I've been dating this girl who I'm falling madly in love with. She is so spectacular, I don't know how we crashed into each other, why we picked each other or why it worked so well when we did.
I'm a "starving artist" and she is a lawyer powering through the ranks ... we're a really odd couple ... but somehow we're so good together.
I think it's because her job is so stressful and her personality is so prone to stress, while my job is stress free and my personality so easily deflects stress. When we're together I can literally see it in her face, I defuse her stress and calm her down.
Additionally, we're both very opinionated with strong personalities that sometimes clash. She thinks she's right because she's backed by her law degree and I think i'm right because i'm an artist and I occupy a universe "outside the box". Usually her arguments are very logical/grounded and mine are more existential/creative.
When we disagree, our viewpoints usually have merit, but usually she's able to win because her arguments have more substance and her profession is arguing.
And when she does shut me down, she does it in that way that only lawyers can where it makes you feel like absolute shit ... and as a guy that makes me defensive as hell because I've been beaten by a girl in the worst way ... intellectually.
At first glance, to a guys masculinity, being beat by a girl is a horrible thing ... i think it conflicts with our instinctual desire to protect women ... but when they challenge you it makes you want to rip their heads off in competition as you would going up against another man.
It's like sending conflicting signals into your computer ... you're computer can't process them both so it crashes.
Well that's where I was at last night, my brain crashed ... but while it was down ... it was also thinking "Why is competition and being intellectually trumped by the woman I love such a bad thing? I still love her as much as ever, and if she comes to a good conclusion, why am I upset by that?"
I feel it in my artistic heart that there is a solution to this problem floating around out there ... and i love her too much to even think about walking away. I'm just not sure what I need to accept, what I need to understand or what we need to change about how we interact?
Are there any other strong men out there who are successfully dating/married to a strong women? And if so, how did you modify the relationship hierarchy to allow both personalities to work in concert ... rather than constantly trying to be on top?
I'm a "starving artist" and she is a lawyer powering through the ranks ... we're a really odd couple ... but somehow we're so good together.
I think it's because her job is so stressful and her personality is so prone to stress, while my job is stress free and my personality so easily deflects stress. When we're together I can literally see it in her face, I defuse her stress and calm her down.
Additionally, we're both very opinionated with strong personalities that sometimes clash. She thinks she's right because she's backed by her law degree and I think i'm right because i'm an artist and I occupy a universe "outside the box". Usually her arguments are very logical/grounded and mine are more existential/creative.
When we disagree, our viewpoints usually have merit, but usually she's able to win because her arguments have more substance and her profession is arguing.
And when she does shut me down, she does it in that way that only lawyers can where it makes you feel like absolute shit ... and as a guy that makes me defensive as hell because I've been beaten by a girl in the worst way ... intellectually.
At first glance, to a guys masculinity, being beat by a girl is a horrible thing ... i think it conflicts with our instinctual desire to protect women ... but when they challenge you it makes you want to rip their heads off in competition as you would going up against another man.
It's like sending conflicting signals into your computer ... you're computer can't process them both so it crashes.
Well that's where I was at last night, my brain crashed ... but while it was down ... it was also thinking "Why is competition and being intellectually trumped by the woman I love such a bad thing? I still love her as much as ever, and if she comes to a good conclusion, why am I upset by that?"
I feel it in my artistic heart that there is a solution to this problem floating around out there ... and i love her too much to even think about walking away. I'm just not sure what I need to accept, what I need to understand or what we need to change about how we interact?
Are there any other strong men out there who are successfully dating/married to a strong women? And if so, how did you modify the relationship hierarchy to allow both personalities to work in concert ... rather than constantly trying to be on top?