Classy way to respond to size question?

[TheScotsman]

A few times now I've been caught in some (usually half-drunken) conversation with a woman where, for one reason or another, the topic of size of will come up. I never know exactly how to respond to it since, on the one hand I don't want to come off like some smug bastard whereas at the same time, I'm not exactly keen to leave the wrong impression either.

On the odd rare occasion, whether she has any reason to believe so or not, I've been asked straight-out whether or not I'm big and I really don't have any idea what a smooth response to that would be.

I was at a party over the weekend and after a couple bottle of cheap white wine and a flattering word from a housemate, this Australian girl suddenly started asking me all these questions about how big it was, how big she bet it was and everything else designed to embarrass me I'm guessing. I just kinda laughed at the time, though in hindsight I wish I'd been a hell of a lot smoother about it.

Awkwardness is my default setting, apparently.

 

[hung]

You could certainly start off with saying something like:

I am usually able to make all my previous lovers very happy.

That would make them wonder and they may offer you the opportunity to perform for them.

One thing for sure, I would not make this statement if I had over consumed adult beverages because I know from my past that I would not be able to perform up to my usual standard. I hope this helps.

 

[laser90]

Scotsman...that easy just do what I say when someone inquires....Thick enought your going to feel it and long enough your going to enjoy it! then just give them a smile.

 

[TheScotsman]

Scotsman...that easy just do what I say when someone inquires....Thick enought your going to feel it and long enough your going to enjoy it! then just give them a smile.

Yeah, see, that's the sort of thing I doubt I could pull off. Once we're naked, maybe, but if we're still fully clothed at a party, I'd wind up laughing or something...

 

[B_subgirrl]

I am usually able to make all my previous lovers very happy.

I think that one's too cliched. I'd probably just roll my eyes at it (not that I'd be asking the question in the first place!). 'Big enough' is also cliched.

I think maybe a (honest!) statement of your size, followed by 'Is that considered big?', with an innocent look would work well.

 

[ManofThunder]

If size comes up in conversation, I usually say, "Oh, it's microscopic." Then as soon as I have said it, order a drink or meal (depending on the situation) to change the subject. Personally, if someone is willing to ask me about something like that then they should be prepared for whatever less-than serious answer I give them. Also, I think if you say it is big or hand out measurements or anything like that - it looks as if you may be lying. Most average men would reply by saying "Big." So, I don't think you can go wrong by saying tiny etc.

 

[redbear52]

Tell her "big enough for the likes of you".

 

[MsThang]

If I was a guy with a big, fat dick I would probably be the cockiest bastard on the planet and just whip it out, lol. But I can see that that isn't the smoothest approach. There have been two guys I have conversed online who seemed downright bashful about their size and it was such a turn on. So the humble response that you are quite large and it has been a burden will intrigue a woman were she may insist on a private viewing ;-)

 

[B_subgirrl]

If size comes up in conversation, I usually say, "Oh, it's microscopic."

This made me ROFL :biggrin1:.

Also, I think if you say it is big or hand out measurements or anything like that - it looks as if you may be lying. Most average men would reply by saying "Big." So, I don't think you can go wrong by saying tiny etc.

If she's asking, she's either going to believe you're telling the truth (and be happy to fuck you based on size), or she's prepared for the liars (and is ready to try you out to see if you live up to what you've claimed).

I think 'tiny' is a rather dangerous way to go if you're hoping to get laid, although if you don't want to screw her, it'd be worth the amusement value.

 

[TheScotsman]

If I was a guy with a big, fat dick I would probably be the cockiest bastard on the planet and just whip it out, lol. But I can see that that isn't the smoothest approach. There have been two guys I have conversed online who seemed downright bashful about their size and it was such a turn on. So the humble response that you are quite large and it has been a burden will intrigue a woman were she may insist on a private viewing ;-)

Hah, well I had an ex who once claimed I deserved to have an ego about it, but I'm really not the bragging type. If a woman asks whether or not I'm big, I generally just laugh, claim I don't know though woman have told me I was in the past.

If she's asking, she's either going to believe you're telling the truth (and be happy to fuck you based on size), or she's prepared for the liars (and is ready to try you out to see if you live up to what you've claimed).

I think 'tiny' is a rather dangerous way to go if you're hoping to get laid, although if you don't want to screw her, it'd be worth the amusement value.

See, I agree though I have considered jokingly saying I'm small. But it seems like that doing that could massively backfire on me.

 

[ManofThunder]

This made me ROFL :biggrin1:.



If she's asking, she's either going to believe you're telling the truth (and be happy to fuck you based on size), or she's prepared for the liars (and is ready to try you out to see if you live up to what you've claimed).

I think 'tiny' is a rather dangerous way to go if you're hoping to get laid, although if you don't want to screw her, it'd be worth the amusement value.

To me, saying "microscopic" is less about getting laid and more about showing I have a sense of humour. However, there is also a reverse psychology factor to consider - as I said, most men would claim to be big and when it comes down to it, end up disappointing the lady. If you however say the opposite with a twinkle in your eye, I have found that you intrigue the lady as it is something unusual to say. I have then been asked to show them just how small it is and they have been pleasantly surprised and we can laugh about it. It serves as an excellent ice-breaker when initiating sex. It doesn't work out this way everytime though, I admit. But, as you say, it is still worth it for the amusement value. :smile:

 

[WalterSochek]

"I've had no complaints" usually works. It's subtle, and doesn't really "brag".

If she pushes further, you can say "enough to do the job". Also subtle.

 

[borntobeking]

I would not use a subtle or "classy" approach since in my opinion it is not a classy question to begin with. If a woman is forward enough to come right out and ask me how big my dick is then I would respond in a truthful and direct manner.

 

[redbear52]

Another way to approach this if you are above average size, is to suggest that you are really small, which may pique her curiosity to find out if you are telling the truth.

Just tell her "Babe, I'm so small you won't even know I am there. You can just lie back, do your fingernails, listen to some music, or catch up on your reading and I will clean up after myself when I am finished"

 

[Endued]

A close friend who has seen it a couple of times has mentioned the size thing to me. Once when he first noticed at the urinal, so I asked him to stop looking, second time was out with him and a couple of girls. The most dignified I could think of at the time was "well... it's not small".

I know I'm no extrovert, but I didn't think a truly classy way exists.

 

[earllogjam]

"Oh...It's smaller than a breadbox." (said while clutching something girthy, like a bottle of beer, a glass mug, or your wrist)

 

[HorsemanUK]

A few times now I've been caught in some (usually half-drunken) conversation with a woman where, for one reason or another, the topic of size of will come up. I never know exactly how to respond to it since, on the one hand I don't want to come off like some smug bastard whereas at the same time, I'm not exactly keen to leave the wrong impression either.

On the odd rare occasion, whether she has any reason to believe so or not, I've been asked straight-out whether or not I'm big and I really don't have any idea what a smooth response to that would be.

I was at a party over the weekend and after a couple bottle of cheap white wine and a flattering word from a housemate, this Australian girl suddenly started asking me all these questions about how big it was, how big she bet it was and everything else designed to embarrass me I'm guessing. I just kinda laughed at the time, though in hindsight I wish I'd been a hell of a lot smoother about it.

Awkwardness is my default setting, apparently.

They'll be either trying to make you feel awrkard or they are just forward girls who are into you and wanna know about your dick. Just call their bluff and say yeah im big when they press you futher just go hey you can have a look at it if you want. If they then say yes show me, result your in you'l be fucking them before you know it.

 

[RawDog]

True story:

My wife and three of her girlfriends (and I) were out to dinner one night and they were all having a good laugh at all the smallest guys they've had. It felt rather awkward for me, but 2 of them knew how big I was so they knew I wasn't getting offended in any manner.

One of them spreads her fingers about the length of her pinky (2") and said she had a guy that big. They had a giggle at it when I said, "You all are totally cruel. I'm about that size too."

Stone cold silence.

Then I said, "We're talking width right?"

I think the laughter drowned out the rest of the restaurant's noise. So much so, the people at the next table had a giggle too.

So, if I was asked how big I was in the future, I'd spread my fingers 2" apart and say "This..." wait for a response... then continue with "...wide"

Another option is to respond, "Size is relative. How big I am would all depend on how much of me you could take in. Wanna check?"

 

[auncut10in]

When I get asked that question, I usually just say. "Well there is only one way to really tell how big I am." It doesn't really answer the question which I think it is the way it should be answered.

If they pursue the subject, and I like the guy, I just say "well I always got marks for "plays well with others" when I was in grammar school.

 

[gnawtee]

if a girls asking you about ur size... shes not classy, so she doesnt deserve a classy response. Ask a girl if her pussy is loose or tight, see what kind of classy response you get.