Clitoral Stimulation During Sex... Advice...

[DanB]

Hi guys,

I was hoping for some help with this; I've got this girl who seems (and claims to be) unable to orgasm from penetration alone and needs something to stimulate her clit to help her cum. Personally, as much as I like to reach around, I find it can restrict the sex a bit. I was wondering if a vibrating cock ring would be a good idea, or if there's anything that could heighten her sensitivity with penetration (I've seen some lube style liquids that claim to do this but I don't know if they work)?

My main issues with a cock ring is that I'm concerned about how tight they are, and also, I can't get fully inside her without hurting her, so I don't know if it'd even connect with her clit or not.

Any help or advice would be gratefully appreciated, I pride myself on full customer satisfaction and attaining a great result each and every time, so this is annoying me a bit.

 

[DanB]

(I posted this in the "Sex With Large Penis" section, but felt I might get a better response from here, I wasn't able to move or delete the other thread, so I've just made a new one... I hope that's ok)


I was hoping for some help with this; I've got this girl who seems (and claims to be) unable to orgasm from penetration alone and needs something to stimulate her clit to help her cum. Personally, as much as I like to reach around, I find it can restrict the sex a bit. I was wondering if a vibrating cock ring would be a good idea, or if there's anything that could heighten her sensitivity with penetration (I've seen some lube style liquids that claim to do this but I don't know if they work)?

My main issues with a cock ring is that I'm concerned about how tight they are, and also, I can't get fully inside her without hurting her, so I don't know if it'd even connect with her clit or not.

Any help or advice would be gratefully appreciated, I pride myself on full customer satisfaction and attaining a great result each and every time, so this is annoying me a bit.

 

[helgaleena]

Why can't she finger herself during penetration? Have you forbidden her to or is she too lazy?

 

[Riven650]

Hi Dan, A lot of women feel like your gf does about orgasm. They know how to do it with their fingers, and a vibrator applied to the clit can get them off reliably. And a considerate lover can do the same with his/her tongue, but...

Penetrative sex, particularly when you're young, rarely results in the female having an orgasm. She starts to get those feelings when she's being fucked, but before she gets there her lover blows his load and it's over. It's frustrating, but that's the way it goes. When I was young I don't think many of my girlfriends expected to have an orgasm during intercourse. I'd have loved to have given them one, but neither of us expected it to happen. What would happen was, no matter how much foreplay we did, I would always seem to be more ready to orgasm than my lover. And as soon as her orgasm started to build she'd set me off and I'd explode. I considered myself a premature ejaculator, but many years later I realise that I wasn't really. It's normal for guys to do that. Nature designed us to impregnate women easily and quickly.

My wife and I have tried those vibrating cock rings. Very novel and all that, but they're lumpy and get in the way. It's best not to worry about additional clitoral stimulation. The secret, as far as I'm concerned, is for you to take control. It was when I felt confident enough to tell my gf to relax and let me do it, that it started to work. You see, women writhe and wriggle and make a noise when they enjoy sex, and their vaginas do the same. Have you noticed how a woman's vagina sometimes grips and sometimes relaxes? She has a certain amount of control over that, but it starts to happen automatically when she's near orgasm. Another thing that happens is that the walls of the vagina change texture and become more ribbed. That gives you a lot more stimulation, and if you're doing long strokes at the time you'll lose control and come. The secret is to get comfortable, get your cock in deep (I find missionary position is by far the best) and move slowly and rhythmically. If the stimulation is too much for you, make the movements even more minimal, but keep your cock in all the way and keep nudging at her clit with the base of your cock. You might have to stop, and even break the rhythm and take it out for a minute, but you'll learn more control with practice. Your woman must learn to be patient. She must be encouraged to avoid pointing herself at the 'goal' of orgasm, and instead just enjoy the closeness and feel the feelings. If she can keep her attention off the 'goal' she'll be able to allow her orgasm to build slowly and you will be able to keep fucking her right through it.

 

[B_625girth]

okay, if I reading this right. she can't "O". you are fucking her with a semi cuz she might get hurt.

here's my personal experience which also happens to be my wife's experience. briefly, the first time we fucked she had her first, second & third orgasms due to my fat cock. she had been with about 6 guys previous to me, none with a big fat cock. get her box stretched out and that clit becomes more exposed and in the action.

 

[Riven650]

Can a mod merge this thread and http://www.lpsg.org/218214-clitoral-stimulation-during-sex-advice.html please

 

[DanB]

Thanks for the advice Riven, that's mainly what I've been trying, but like I say, I can't get fully inside her without hurting her. We've not been going for very long and she's still adapting, she's getting much better, so I guess I should just give it time.
I've never had this issue before, my last ex used to orgasm about 5 or 6 times each session, but I guess that's just down to the individual.
I never just leave her hanging though, I'll always finish off with my tongue, like I say, I aim to please.

 

[DanB]

Why can't she finger herself during penetration? Have you forbidden her to or is she too lazy?

Not at all, I encourage it if anything

okay, if I reading this right. she can't "O". you are fucking her with a semi cuz she might get hurt.

Not quite, I just don't go all the way in, and it's not a 'might'.

Can a mod merge this thread and http://www.lpsg.org/218214-clitoral-stimulation-during-sex-advice.html please

That would be good.

 

[HiddenLacey]

Well she can always rub herself?

There are several things that work for me.

Depending on your length, if she's on top she can just rock her hips and rub her clit against you, the up and down motion isn't very stimulating for everyone. If you're to long she can lean forward facing you and rub against you that way.

If your on top in missionary, she can kind of do a reverse crunch and arch her lower pelvis to rub against you. Works best if she kind of bends her knees and flexs her thighs outward so she's really open and her clitoris is exposed. Even if your long she should be able to rub against you if your close enough.

The vibrating cock rings always made me feel kind of numb unless I was on top rocking against it when I was already close. It was pretty uncomfortable otherwise and they break really fast. Edit here: I forgot to mention all of the lube stuff I've tried has been bogus and it BURNS. If I ever need lube I only use sliquid, but I only use that with toys not with a partner.

The two I mentioned work for me, but the two of you just kind of have to experiment until you find out what works. I found the missionary way because I had my hands above my head holding onto the bars of the headboard one time and arched up... ping, clit stimulation. After that I just worked at it until I figured it out.

 

[Riven650]

Sounds like you're doing ok. She's either very small or, more likely, suffering from a little bit of nervous vagina syndrome. If that's the case, then my advice (above) might not be right. If a woman is a little bit (subconsciously) scared of penetration, then it's best for her to stay in control of the penetration depth (female superior position is best for that) until she's done it enough times (perhaps several hundred times) to undo the anxiety which causes her vagina to reject penetration. It can be very difficult this one, but not impossible to get over.

 

[DanB]

That actually sounds like it, we've talked about it and that sounds quite on the nail... I'll go look into that for some tips, thank you.
I assumed it might just be a matter of giving it some time, but I'm hoping I'll find some shortcuts

 

[helgaleena]

All this reliance on gadgets :frown:

She needs to know what really gets her off and do that while you are having sex. Until you know exactly what that is, you can't 'deliver' it. Communication and acceptance of her uniqueness, even humble reverence of each other's miraculous hotness, should help more than any gadget. Nothing beats pillow talk and affection.

 

[DanB]

We've tried all of those (I love to experiment), she seems to not like to be in charge, so when I try to get her to do what she enjoys, she doesn't like to.
I think taking things slowly might be best, I'm not huge, about 8x6.5 but she's quite small, so I think it'll just take some time.

That's for the advice on the cock rings, I have one of the small vibrators which I use anyway from time to time, but I'll leave it for later on then now.

Thanks for the tips though, I'll focus on those for a bit, see how it goes.

 

[Daisy]

use a bullet vibrator. Some women do need gadgets because of their anatomy. Does she have a small clit? Do whatever works. Get a little hand held bullet (or egg) vibe and see the difference.

 

[Enid]

i'll merge the threads

in the meantime try this

Liberator Axis Hitachi

 

[Riven650]

Er Dan,
8x6.5 not huge? Sorry mate, but if you're measuring properly (along the top of your penis, with it sticking straight out whilst you're standing) 8" is on the huge side. The way people talk in the never never land of sex can lead us to believe that your size is not unusual. But I'm afraid that's all wrong. Your size is exceptional. Maybe 1 in 10,000 guys have a cock as big as you, so you'd better re-measure it, and/or use it with care ;o)

(ps Thanks Enid)

 

[B_subgirrl]

We've tried all of those (I love to experiment), she seems to not like to be in charge, so when I try to get her to do what she enjoys, she doesn't like to.

If she doesn't like being in charge, try taking control yourself and TELL her what to do instead of 'trying to get her to do what she enjoys'.

You could also try one of these:

We vibe ii clitoral g spot vibrator Femplay

And remember that many women never orgasm from penetration. It's really not that unusual.

 

[DanB]

use a bullet vibrator. Some women do need gadgets because of their anatomy. Does she have a small clit? Do whatever works. Get a little hand held bullet (or egg) vibe and see the difference.

I do have a bullet which I use from time to time, but don't want to over-use it, but yeas, she does seem to enjoy it. I wouldn't say it was small, seems about normal to me.

i'll merge the threads

in the meantime try this

Liberator Axis Hitachi

Thank you, that looks a little ott, though I imagine it would be fun!

Er Dan,
8x6.5 not huge? Sorry mate, but if you're measuring properly (along the top of your penis, with it sticking straight out whilst you're standing) 8" is on the huge side. The way people talk in the never never land of sex can lead us to believe that your size is not unusual. But I'm afraid that's all wrong. Your size is exceptional. Maybe 1 in 10,000 guys have a cock as big as you, so you'd better re-measure it, and/or use it with care ;o)

(ps Thanks Enid)

No, that's right, I don't really know what normal is, my only points of reference are porn and here so I kind of lose all sense of reality and have no idea what's normal. I know I'm sort of big, but I never think of myself as huge though.

If she doesn't like being in charge, try taking control yourself and TELL her what to do instead of 'trying to get her to do what she enjoys'.

You could also try one of these:

We vibe ii clitoral g spot vibrator Femplay

And remember that many women never orgasm from penetration. It's really not that unusual.

I have done that, and that seemed to almost work, perhaps I just need to keep trying then..?
That looks like a lot of fun, but also VERY expensive.
I know, but it makes me feel like she's not enjoying it as much as I do, and I really love to please her.

 

[HiddenLacey]

Just so you understand that the female orgasm from penetration alone isn't easy for everyone, from what I've read it's very rare.

If she wants you to take control of the situation and you are comfortable, then do it. That might actually be something she NEEDS to aid her in getting to orgasm.

 

[Enid]

another thing to possibly try: finger vibes

like this one

Amazon.com: Adam & Eve 5X Finger Vibe Vibrator: Health & Personal Care