Clitoral vs. vaginal orgasm...am I normal?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by DeeDee36dd, Apr 4, 2007.

  1. DeeDee36dd

    DeeDee36dd New Member

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    This may have been covered before, so if it has forgive me. I would like the opinion of the wonderful ladies here (guys can give advice as well).
    For some reason, I can RARELY orgasm from intercourse alone. In fact, I almost always require 15 or minutes of foreplay with a great deal centered on the clit.

    After I am sufficiently turned on, I have to have direct stimulation. When I am close to orgasm, then I like (GREAT LIKE!) to be penetrated and brought to orgasm. I then will usually have more than one.
    But, only on very rare occasions do I orgasm from 15 minutes of intercourse.

    It seems that a lot of the women here can have orgasms from intercourse alone. It's not that I don't get friction from my husband, because he is INCREDIBLY thick. I have to turned on and lubed up for him to painlessly enter me.

    I have had a few occasions where I did orgasm from intercourse alone, but it was times when I had not had sex for a long time, or like once with a guy on the first time when I had an affair. It was my first black lover and I was so turned on that I had an orgasm quickly. I never had one with him after that because basically all we did was have intercourse without a lot of foreplay. The sex was good, but no orgasm.
    Am I normal? Thanks for advice.

    DeeDee
     
  2. ManlyBanisters

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    Well - if you're not I'm not...

    Seriously though - that sounds kinda similar to how I am with sex and orgasm - although I can't say I've analysed the percentages :wink:

    My 'average' orgasm requires, and is dependant on, clitoral stimulation. My best orgasm nearly always involves penetration aswell though. It's not like I can't cum without both - I can - but clit solo is easier and less intense, vaginal is a lot rarer, and less intense. Sometimes a 'nailing' just hits the spot (as per what you describe) but it is rare - I prefer foreplay -and of course interplay, postplay and then replay :biggrin1:
     
  3. vibratingfinger

    vibratingfinger New Member

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    Hey DD I'm not a girl but I think you are completely normal. I read a while ago that studies show vaginal and clitoral orgasms are pretty much the same thing despite what some women claim because researchers found that the clitoris is actually a much larger organ and extends all the way around the vagina. There are many interesting feminists perspectives about this. I personally think that the most sensitive part of clitoris is located deeper in a minority of women who don't find the "clitoral" orgasm intense.
     
  4. DeeDee36dd

    DeeDee36dd New Member

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    This really describes my experience well. An orgasm that doesn't involve penetration (masturbation, vibrator, etc) is good...but I just have to have the "real thing" at the end! LOL! It makes a good thing...GREAT!

    I think I am asking for not only my sake, but my husband's as well. I think he feels that somehow he is not performing up to expectations. It's probably my fault, because during my affair, I foolishly (and cruelly) told him that I had an orgasm with the guy I described above. Although we are long since over that time, I think he still carries that with him.

    For me, my sex life with my husband is INCREDIBLE. However, after coming here to this great site, I began wondering if there was something that I (or we) was doing wrong. It seemed like a lot of guys and gals here were describing experiences of almost pure intercourse and having orgasms.
    Thanks so much to all who respond.

    DeeDee xxx
     
  5. tessa42fma

    tessa42fma New Member

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    Another "normal" female here...

    I don't think I've ever had a vaginal orgasm... I've gotten incredibly stimulated, just from being carried away with the moment (not unlike your affair experience), but I need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. In fact, I prefer to cum before intercourse because it's more enjoyable for me that way.

    Did you know that the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings than a penis? Also, it's only function is for sexual pleasure. (I've learned so much from watching Sue Johanson on tv!!)
     
  6. dongalong

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    I have had a lover similar to you, my tongue became very muscular with her!:wink:
    I did a lot of research and experimenting to increase my lovers' orgasmic response so here are some things you could try.

    Maybe you need more target practice with the trigger zones inside your vagina, the g-spot, epicenter and AFE zone, learn the positions which will best stimulate these zones.

    When you were extremely turned on with the black lover, the brain caused naturally great blood circulation in your vagina, but when you aren't as turned on you can help things by:

    Making your lover stimulate these zones during oral to encourage vaginal blood engorgement, this will give the sensitive areas better contact with the penis.

    Taking aphrodisiacs, certain herbs and foods which increase the circulation down there, might be worth experimenting with.

    Kegelling can accelerate orgasm build up so start doing them whenever you have the opportunity and especially when you make love (but make sure that he has lost the urgent desire to cum)
     
  7. Skull Mason

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    How is your man's length? I've noticed with me that my shorty likes it deep deep inside, as its almost propped up against the cervix. She almost cums immediately. Hot affair by the way!
     
  8. tiff86

    tiff86 New Member

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    Hi DeeDee, I think it's just how you're built. I've heard most women need clit stimulation to orgasm so by that you're normal. I'm built weird or something cuz I can orgasm from penetration by itself but so far I can't have a clit orgasm at all. Also so far all my orgasms are from my cervix or cervical bridge so I need deep penetration. I've read stuff from a few other women on this site who are like me but it seems most are more like you. I say just enjoy what you can get!:smile:
     
  9. Aplus

    Aplus New Member

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    Hey DeeDee,

    I just bumped an older thread called "Female O" that had some very interesting thoughts on this subject.
     
  10. DeeDee36dd

    DeeDee36dd New Member

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    He is 7" long x 7.5" around. 7-7.5" pretty much hits bottom on me. I have an 8" realistic "toy" that still has about 1" left when it goes in as far as comfortably possible. The affair was not as hot as I may have made it seem. After the first time with him, it wasn't nearly as good as what I have at home. Big, big mistake on my part. Thanks for the response.
     
  11. modernluv

    modernluv New Member

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    Indeed. I've had orgasms w/o penetration but to describe it to me it's almost like a shell of a penetration orgasm, like it touches the surface but you don't get the meat of it. I can also cum from penetration and that really is my bread 'n butter :wink: .
    And by the way, I agree with those who say different strokes for different folks. I've heard women older than me say it got easier to have penetration orgasms as they reached their sexual peak. I've accepted I'm an anomaly, my whole plumbing just does it's own thing, gushing and all :rolleyes: .
     
  12. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I think im pretty much the same. I can spend ages with just penetration but to orgasm i really need to get into a position where my clit is getting stimulated as well.

    A position like doggie or other rear entry positon is good to get me worked right up but then i need to turn around into a face-to-face positionn where he is penetration at a angle where he is touching my clit while thrusting or i am grinding on him
     
  13. anon265

    anon265 Member

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    Are you normal? I would say from reading this post (and others) that the familiarity and level of comfort you seem to have with your own body is completely normal and very healthy.

    What's normal? IMHO, women are every bit as different from each other as men are. What you find pleasurable is what you find pleasurable. You mention what other folks say about their sex life, and how their bodies respond, but at the end of the day, you have to deal with YOUR body and YOUR desires.

    And besides, I have always heard from women that foreplay is pretty much a prerequisite to satisfying intercourse. From the description you gave of the affair, it sounds like your ability to orgasm is proportional to your level of arousal, which I think applies to almost everyone. If clitoral stimulation feels good and raises your arousal level to the point where orgasm is more likely, well ... so be it.

    Also, it sounds like this affair was was troublesome for you. A huge part of our response cycles (male and females) are mental/emotional, and perhaps the fact that it was troublesome had an effect on the mental side.
     
  14. DeeDee36dd

    DeeDee36dd New Member

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    I appreciate all of the responses. I feel better about it, and really I guess it wasn't so much for myself, but for my husband who I have an amazing sex life with. We are now very open with each other about our sex lives and even enjoy this site together.
    I am totally satisfied with the way things are, and I guess the main thing for me is in the end is that I always require penetration at the end of the clitoral stimulation to have a truly amazing orgasm.
    Thanks again.
    Deedee xxxx
     
  15. Kat

    Kat Member

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    Dee Dee,

    Sounds to me like you are perfectly normal. I am multiorgasmic, however the first always takes the longest to achieve and is never through penetration alone...always through clitoral or g-spot stimulation. After I have the first orgasm I can pretty much have orgasms via any type of stimulation including just penetration. My most intense orgasms are when my husband is going down on me and using a dildo at the same time...just seems to hit all the right spots at once! (Oh, and you might be the first woman I have met who's husbands penis is about the same thickness as my husbands)

    kat
     
  16. cklover

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    I like this thread.....women are so much more intense than men...they have to go through so much bullshit against being horny, sexual beings with a sense of adventure. Uhmmm....if the questions are on the level, I've read that all female sexual response emanates from her clitoris, if a man is into pleasing a woman, that's where he goes first, last, and always. I'm sure, all men who know how to pleasure a woman know that. Sorry if I seem impudent here, being a gay man, etc...lol.
     
  17. Boondocksaints

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    Why not simply stimulate your clit with your hands while your husband penetrates or ask your husband to doit for you?
     
  18. anon265

    anon265 Member

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    I'm not sure I agree. I'm not a woman, and I can only go by what has been told to me by women that I've been with.

    I sincerely believe that the most important sex organ in humans' bodies is not the clitoris, not the penis, or vagina, but the brain.

    Primarily she has to trust and desire you, and her body needs to feel like having sex. Otherwise, her clitoris will pretty much feel to her like a piece of plastic. Again, this is what has been told to me, and I find it believable, because my penis feels the same way if I'm not in the mood. But to focus ONLY on her clitoris, to me, is a little like serving her only the dessert of a wonderful meal. There are many parts of a womans body that she will love to have touched, stroked, and kissed. Some she won't. For each woman these have different priorities. You simply have to get to know her.

    In the end, if a man is into pleasing a woman, he will care about her needs and desires, and pay attention to what both she and her body's responses are telling him she likes.

    Not saying anyone's right or wrong. Just stating what I think.
     
  19. dongalong

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    Women's bodies can be such a challenge, that is partly why they are such a turn on for me. Whereas men only have 2 trigger points, women have up to 4! (more in some rare cases)
    It's difficult to get bored from making love with a woman with so much variety.
     
  20. shesaidwow

    shesaidwow New Member

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    im a bit of a man whore, so ive had quite a few women, and i like variety, so ive had lots of different aged women. i agree with alot of what im hering on this thread. older women seem to be able to orgasm from penetration easier. also knowing where to hit helps, and when and how its hit. you sound perfectly normal. unfortunately that story can really mess your husbands head up. try learning to be more sensitive in the anterior fornix(alittle deeper just behind the g spot) using his fingers pushing back there while one of you plays with your clit. if you learn to get off on it, you can put a pillow under your butt to tilt your pelvis up, pull your knes up to your chest and have him penetrate in an upward angle to push on it. make sure you are waaay ready, and that might do the trick.
     
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