My younger brother just told recently his close male buddy from high school that he was retiring. They've been great friends for many years.
His friend got choked up and said, "Let me know if I can do anything for you." My brother simply responded, "Just being my buddy is enough."
Geez, that's the kind of male relationship/friendship I've never had. And that's the point of this discussion. How to cultivate that kind of male friendship. I have lots of male friends who respect me for many reasons, but none of those friendships come close to what I'm talking about here.
A close friend of mine died last September. He had battled a brain tumour for quite some time. He was the finest man and the best friend I've ever known but I never got around to telling him so. His wife asked me to give the eulogy at the funeral. With his coffin close by, I got to talk about how much he'd meant to me over the years and I managed to articulate all the things I'd left unsaid. I'm ambivalent about the afterlife but I'm absolutely certain he heard my words that day.
The anniversary of his death is just three weeks away. I still miss him greatly. It's hard to come to terms with a world without him. I still tear up just thinking about him. Our friendship consisted of unconditional support and acceptance, lots of fun and laughter, many lively debates and some amazingly similar attitudes to life.
I know if our positions were reversed, he'd feel exactly as I do.
Truth be told, I loved the guy and I'm not ashamed to say so. I'm not talking bromance. I'm talking about something infinitely more valuable - the mutual respect and affection between two ordinary men who each considered the other to be extraordinary.