Closer than Best Friends...

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by db03, Jun 11, 2005.

  1. db03

    db03 Member

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    Has anyone here ever had a friend that they knew for so long and got on with so well, that your relationship surpassed the label "best friends" and it actually turned into love?

    Now i'm not referring to sexual love, but just love in the general sense.

    Like, maybe the same as being brothers, and you would die before you let anything happen to them.

    I had this kind of friendship all the way through school, (he has now passed away), but I'm happy that we became such an important part of each others lives.

    Share your thoughts.
     
  2. Dr Rock

    Gold Member

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    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    no, but thanks for asking :p
     
  3. jonb

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    It happens sometimes. Most cultures actually have a specific role for men who are more than just friends: Love him more than you do your wife. Whether or not sex can or even should be involved in such a relationship varies.
     
  4. madame_zora

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    You're my fucking hero!
     
  5. Str8Man

    Str8Man New Member

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    Well you guys have a way of digging around in my personal "issues". I'm the worst at letting myself get to emotionally attached to my friends. I always wind up loving them more than they do me, and I get walked on. I think most guys like the idea of having a best friend, everyone likes being thought of as a best friend, but few guys want to do what it takes to be a best friend. Maybe I expect to much...
    I think most men have problems when their feelings turn to love. I think it is great to love people and to feel loved back, but must guys get very uncomfortable when they start loving another man. I've lost several friends because they cared so much about me, they couldn't deal with it. Men can't and don't love eachother you know... that might feel gay (what's up with people?)
     
  6. Dr Rock

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    You're my fucking hero!
    [post=319769]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]
    does that mean I can be king of the double-wide??
     
  7. B_HungSpermBoy

    B_HungSpermBoy New Member

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    I think there are a lot of kinds of relationships that we don't have any names for. We use friend to describe everything from a casual acquaintance to someone we've known our whole life. Maybe we need some new words.
     
  8. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Not really. The English language already has more than twice as many words than any other language in the world (German comes in a distant second), we don't need to burden it with additional specialised terms. What we need is to become comfortable with the words available to us. Everyone is content to use words that express emotions in general, but when we approach intimacy, some folks shy away. Love is a word that has many meanings, but when some people hear it directed at another person, they assume it to be an expression of romance, desire or sex unless the context clearly refers to familial love. That narrow interpretaion is what leads to squeamishness. Love is a wonderful word, and it would be great if more people were comfortable using it. I do have a couple of friends that I would trust with my life, and what I feel for them can only be called love; I'm happy with that.
     
  9. madame_zora

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    does that mean I can be king of the double-wide??
    [post=319806]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]


    DOUBLE WIDE??? Just how fucking thick are you anyway???
    *eyes light up in eagerness* You're such a good sport to put up with me.


    Love is a great word, it's society that sucks. A woman can feel free to say she loves her friends, but a man is threatened with the "gay" label, clearly the most horrific thing a str8 man can be called. ALL of that blows chunks. Men are not free to be curious about each other, experiment to discover their true nature, or even love their friends, whether or not they have any interest in sex with them. I can have all the platonic love I want, but not so for men. Obviously, society feels that men are only allowed to equate love with sex, and that is a supreme injustice.
     
  10. SouthernBMC

    SouthernBMC Member

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    I love my best friend, but I don't know that I would ever tell him that directly or try to think of another name to describe him.

    It sucks that we don't feel that it is appropriate to tell our good friends that we love them.
     
  11. Imported

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    hung_big:

    DOUBLE WIDE??? Just how fucking thick are you anyway???
    *eyes light up in eagerness* You're such a good sport to put up with me.
    [post=319937]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]

    I'll let Al answer that question, but I'll tell you this much: he wasn't kidding when he said DOUBLE wide.

    :9
     
  12. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    I have been lucky in the sense of best friends...I have about 3 guy friends who I consider and they consider are my best friends...Each came into my life at different points...Being a male it is true that I was reluctant to be really other males but these guys all made me feel comfortable by sharing their situations and family history...We have all told each other we loved each other and would do anything for each other...My best friends know if they ever needed anything - I would drop what I am doing and be there for them which I have done on numerous occassions...It is always great to have a support system other than your family...But I have had the friends that you are way more of friend than they...
     
  13. jay_too

    jay_too New Member

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    hmmmmm...gotta think about this. I have about five friends that I grew up that are like brothers and their parents well....they are family too. One of friends from high school is a roomate, and in the past few years I have acquired another friend that is family. However, last time I checked I was not gay.

    jay
     
  14. Dr Rock

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    well it seems I don't need to answer that question after all :eyes:
     
  15. Alley Blue

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    Not really. The English language already has more than twice as many words than any other language in the world (German comes in a distant second),
    [post=319921]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]

    Is that really true DoubleMeatWhopper? Where does Japanese and Chinese stand?( even though they have "characters sets")
     
  16. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    Neither are we...And that is the point I thought the post was kind of going...That just because males are close - that does not mean they are gay...At least that is what I thought was being said...
     
  17. madame_zora

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    well it seems I don't need to answer that question after all :eyes:
    [post=320154]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]


    *Grabs Dr. Rock around the throat* Answer me, dammit, ANSWER ME! ahem.
     
  18. Supportive Female

    Supportive Female New Member

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    *Grabs Dr. Rock around the throat* Answer me, dammit, ANSWER ME! ahem.
    [post=320236]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]

    Madame Zora, you may have thought you grabbed him by the throat, but actually you grabbed him by the...oh, never mind...
     
  19. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Is that really true DoubleMeatWhopper?
    [/b][/quote]

    Yes, it's true. part of the reason is because of the Anglo-Norman words from the invasion of England by William the Conqueror. Beside native words of Anglo-Saxon origin, like freedom, forgive, fellowship and motherhood, we have equivalent words introduced by the French: liberty, pardon, society, maternity. Doublets like these greatly swell the vocabulary of English.

    I really don't know as the Oriental languages are outside of my field. However, don't confuse the writing systems with the words themselves. Apart from special kanji used only for writing names, there are only 1,945 approved characters (not counting the kana) for writing Japanese. Obviously, there are many more words than that.
     
  20. steve319

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    Interesting topic.

    I do have a good friend for whom I'd do anything and who, I suspect, would return the favor. She's female, though (as you might tell from the pronoun).

    While I have male friends, I don't connect in a deeply emotional way all that successfully with other guys. We get along; we hang out. I do think a lot of that has to do with the stereotypical tendency of guys not to be that comfortable with "bonding." Might be wrong, though.

    I think I could handle it better than they could, though.

    (I'm sleepy -_- Heading to bed. Take care, guys!)
     
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