Closet Straights?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by SpoiledPrincess, Sep 23, 2007.

  1. SpoiledPrincess

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    Are there such a thing as closet straights? Men who've considered themselves gay for years, whose friends consider them gay but deep down they're straight. I haven't heard of any but I can imagine it's possible, for instance if a young guy declared himself 100% gay and mixed with lots of friends who'd always known him as gay he might be reluctant to admit he'd been wrong or changed.
     
  2. Principessa

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    Interesting concept, I'm curious to see if there is any response.
     
  3. Male Bonding etc

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    I posted something that went somewhere... So, my apologies if it shows up here after all.

    I was sort of a closeted straight. I didn't have any real bi role models, and I had a few gay friends who were happy to believe I was gay also. I played down my attractions for and affairs with women so that my gay friends wouldn't accuse me of trying to "pass" for straight.

    Fortunately that didn't last, and I figured out that I could be me without one label or the other. Straight or bi is the more accurate label if I must have one. Now, I don't avoid gay men, but I don't hang out with so many of them any more.
     
  4. Captain Elephant

    Captain Elephant Active Member

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    Can't say that I know any guys who fit the description of "closet straights" but I do personally know two women who claimed to be lesbian and are now happily married.

    Don't know if they converted or if they are bi, but one's an exptectant mother and the other is on a career track upward.

    They were both in college when they were heavily into the Gay and Lesbian Alliance, and now they don't disavow their past but don't care to talk about it either.
     
  5. D_Pubert Stabbingpain

    D_Pubert Stabbingpain Account Disabled

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    Had a friend once that accused me of being a closet straight once due to i got so turned off when he shoved his dick in my face. Problem is, he was just plain ugly. Seriously though, I am sure such people exist. I think they are called "questioning" folks. It is so sad that society puts pressure on human beings to choose who they can love in a public setting. When it comes to love, gender is all so .. . .. just not important. :smile:
     
  6. freeballing

    freeballing Active Member

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    My friends have called me "closet straight" for as long as I can remember... I identify with straight as much as I do gay. Most people assume I'm straight when they meet me. I'm masculine, had a VERY macho father growing up and don't fall into the typical "gay" stereotypes. For me, sexuality is more fluid than simply gay or straight anyway. I think women are beautiful, I love flirting with women, making out with women... But I am really attracted to men. I have never had anal sex with a guy (top or bottom) so I don't define my sexuality in black and white terms. Gender roles and sexuality are imposed on all of us from day one... Boy=blue. Girl=pink. Gay=anal sex with another dude. Etc... Sexuality isn't always what it seems.
     
  7. SpoiledPrincess

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    I pretty much go along with that, I think sexuality is neutral but during our very early formative years it's nudged one way or the other and as society needs to label people most people find it hard to resist that and tend to stay within patterns they've set for themselves. I always say I am what I am at that moment, I don't say I'm bisexual, if I'm with a guy at that time I'm straight, if I'm with a woman at that time I'm a lesbian.
     
  8. Principessa

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    ROTFLMAO I shouldn't laugh, that's actually a shame. I always feel a bit sorry for ugly gay men.:redface:
     
  9. freeballing

    freeballing Active Member

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    I respect that... Nothing is more ignorant than a fool who says that bisexuality doesn't exist... Implying that you're in the closet if you don't choose a side... If one person can be gay, and another person can be straight... Than logically, someone can be bi... The bottom line is, sexuality is defined by the individual.
     
  10. earllogjam

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    I have yet to meet a woman who could convert me.:frown1:
     
  11. Principessa

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    Why the sad face? Be happy with who you are! :smile:
     
  12. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    Spoiled Princess, you're not only attractive physically but your attitude is wonderful. You express my feelings about myself exactly. THANKS.
     
  13. MovingForward

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    I was going to say a couple of Mormon, but then again they are allowed to be gay, just cant act on it.
     
  14. Willy_the_Wonka

    Willy_the_Wonka New Member

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    I may have had a notion or two, and I DID experiment once,
    but when I think of things like kids and barbecues and ..... :eek5:


    I TOTALLY come to my senses. :redface:
     
  15. espreggels

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    They were LUGs -- Lesbians Until Graduation. I think it's a relatively common phenomenon, as far as these things go. The Onion had an amusing article about it a few years back: Lesbian Identity Ends Abruptly Mid-Junior Year.
     
  16. simcha

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    I was a closeted gay man until 24. I dated one woman for 4 years without having sex with her. Yes, I thought I could become heterosexual. It didn't work.

    I think that we as a society need to progress so that everyone, no matter what their sexuality, can just be who they are to the fullest extent. Labels are useful only so far as they help us to define ourselves. Having others define us is never the way to go.

    I'll stand by what I've said before. Sexual acts do not make a sexual orientation or sexual identity. Sexual acts can help us to experiment and find ourselves, but the acts in and of themselves do not define who we are in our innermost being.

    Those who judge others and try to define others by their sexual activities really miss the mark. The true sexual identity of the person is only known to that specific individual for that moment in time. Also sexuality is fluid. Some people may stay mostly with one area of sexual identity most of their lives. Others may move a bit. That's what being human is about. We are complex beings who hopefully grow and change as we experience life.
     
  17. eddie80

    eddie80 New Member

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    Don't know that this qualifies as "closeted", but some gay men are the exact counterpoint to the straight guys who won't say a guy is attractive - not if their life depends on it. As if admitting someone is attractive means you want to jump their bones.

    There really are gat men who feel a need to defend their gayness to the extent that they just can't admit that a woman could be attractive. Some even have to go out of their way to express disgust if the subject of heterosexual activity comes up in conversation. I'm not sure what this is all about...seems sad to me.

    But it does point up one thing: a straight man who can't admit that another man is attractive, or acts all stupid and freaked out by the mere mention of gay sex, is not necessarily a closeted gay. Just like the gay guy isn't necessarily a closeted straight. They both just have some boundary issues - as in, don't cross mine or ask me to cross them.
     
  18. thirteenbyseven

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    Women are infinitely more fascinating and complex creatures than men. With women subsets exist within a set and sexual arousal is a result often of psychological triggers rather than visual ones. Having said all that all I can say is yes, I've seen straight women go lesbian and vis versa.

    Sometimes it can be a ruse like actress Ann Heche who's movie career was nearly tanked when she went nuts, met with aliens in a San Joaquin Valley farm and declared herself lesbian. She then grew her hair out, professed her love of penis and became married to a rather effeminate fellow. Recently she got divorced.

    Then there are the stripper stereotypes, usually (if you talk to them) struggling university students who have been abused by men and are using pole dancing as their vehicle for retribution. However, other strippers will tell you this is simply a cover for most lipstick lesbians- they like vagina. So are they lesbians or straight women pissed off at men?

    Subsets within a set.
     
  19. earllogjam

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    How is this? Better?

    I have yet to meet a woman who could convert me.:party2:
     
  20. Principessa

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    Same thing with the Catholics.:mad:

    Much better . . . thank you. :biggrin1:
     
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