cock-chat...any sign to know its ok?

[nixonrich]

Talking about sex...subject comes up from time to time (no pun intended). When you want to talk about cocks, masterbation etc - that's kind of different. To gay or straight guys, how can you tell if its 'OK' chat about cocks etc = not offending anyone or humiliating yourself? Especially straight guys are sensitive - they dont want to give the 'wrong' impression and even though people are interested they dont take your 'lead' to chat incase they have misunderstood or dont want to embarrass themselves. The Masons (I am told), have a sign, a way of handshaking or something similar that easily identitfies that they have something in common.
Is there any sign that allows guys to know that its OK and interesting/fun and open to chat about cocks etc? (not sex in general - thats generally fine and easy to judge). There should be some sign that doesnt mean 'I want sex' but does mean I'm OK with and interested to talk about 'cock-stuff'. If there isn't....can anyone join me in suggesting/starting something that might take off? I'm hoping something already exists...I just dont know it.

 

[JohnDoeXXXm]

I don't know of anything that happens instantly- for me, it's always about taking slow incremental steps with a bud- like making jokes that are slowly more self incriminating, watching for any reaction, and building on the vulnerability of our friendship as time progresses. Usually it starts with vague sex chat, or talking about watching porn, etc. then moving on to joking about cracking one off, then being in a place where we might be socially naked together (locker room, skinny dipping, etc.) and finding a comfortable point with "cock talk"

 

[Otep]

I think the key is your relationship with the person. I can understand someone being uncomfortable with that sort of conversation when they're relatively new to you or are just acquaintances. That can apply to both gay and straight guys. Regardless of sexual orientation a guy is probably going to wonder why you're talking about dicks when he doesn't really know you.

With friends it's extremely different. I have a straight friend who I talk about all sorts of sexual stuff with but mostly it's just dicks. Lots and lots of dicks. It's a sexual topic but it isn't a sexual conversation between us and is always in a joking manner. I have another straight friend who had no problem getting out of a car with an erection under his shorts for me to see because it wouldn't go away. He made a joke about it and that was it.

Obviously they're people who are more comfortable with that sort of topic to begin with. There are going to be people who will be uncomfortable no matter how well you know them because to them such conversation is inappropriate.

 

[nixonrich]

Yes, I guess it depends on how well you know someone and the context - I just wondered if there was some 'sign' indicator that would cut through some of that and pretty much eliminate the 'risk' of misunderstanding and/or embarrassment. I'm probably getting lazy with the years - I used to be able to respectfully and gently 'test the field' to see with whom you could chat about these things to freely and easily - I have the interest still but have lost the 'oopmf' maybe to do the ground work. Websites such as these are brilliant becuase you feel sure you are on common ground and interest - I was just wondering/hoping there might be something as instant outside of 'cyberland' ... I don't know, something daft like scratching your right eyebrow for a few seconds with your right fingers...something like that. :smile:

 

[Otep]

I don't know of any signs like that but a sure fire method is to let the other person be the one to initiate. When that happens then they obviously don't have a problem talking/joking about that kind of stuff.

 

[D_John Fitzwilly Kennedy]

Never be aggressive, most men don't care too much about aggressive women, much less men that are trying to get their cocks..
Usually they will let you know,mostly innuendos,invites to come over and drink a beer, watch the game, some of them have like radar and even if you are discrete, not feminine at all, they know you want to suck their cocks.
They will grab their cocks, or push their cocks around, and tell you something about a woman that if they got her alone, they'd shove her tonsils down her throat.
straight men don't talk to women that way unless it's a prostitute, s basically that's a come on.
Or he'll say, man my nuts hurt, and you have to be sympathetic, and tell him I hate it man.
It woun't be long, you will have cock down your throat, after they cum, not before, some of them trip and get on a guilt trip, but most of them will be back.
A couple I know Ihave been sucking for years,usually a couple times a week and around holidays, hell, i stay on my knees.Ones I haven't seen in months show up with a boner.
I can't say we are actually friends, but I can say, it has always been friendly from the start.

 

[Otep]

^^I don't think he's looking to hookup, I think just conversations about cocks.

 

[nixonrich]

Yes Otep, its not about finding sex, its just knowing what males are interested to chat about cocks etc - precisely without the 'fear' that either I'm looking for sex or that they will be seen by me as necessary physically interested. I think, generally, when two people are interested in having sex there is some chemistry there, a kind of understanding develops - its realtively easily identifiable. Chatting about sex - particularly about cocks,cum, wanking etc with other guys - its a different set-up with not much precedence to go on and so the scope for misinterpretation is much broader. As I said, probably I'm just getting lazy, I just wish there was a way to easily know that I can chat and fun about this stuff with someone who is also interested but.... doesnt equal we are chatting each other up. The thing is I travel alot, meet alot of people but dont have the basis of knowing people long enough to really know - kind of like chatting among buddies. I thought there might be some sign out there that guys can easily recognise. Still wish there was :smile:

 

[B_thickjohnny]

A little off subject but stranger than strange.... I was in a restaurant the other night and got up to pee. The bathroom had two urinals with a divider from floor to ceiling. I stepped up to the vacant one and didn't see the kid at the second. He proceeds to look over and say hello! I leaned in and ignore him. He asked my name and introduced himself. He had to be all of 10! WTF? I peed as fast as I could and got out. How do you handle something like that? It was clearly inappropriate and quite opposite of everything you hear nowadays (Penn State in reverse).

 

[Otep]

A lot of kids are friendly and have yet to develop any sort of bathroom "shame" (for lack of a better term) in public. I've heard many kids in bathrooms having regular conversations with each other while using the urinal or greeting people who walk in. (I've also heard many kids try to imitate their fathers at the urinal and will moan or grunt about how good it feels to finally be able to pee, it's hilarious because they always overdo it).

You don't have to look over all you have to do is be nice and respond. If they say hi just say hi in return or tell them your name. There may be a fear of being accused of something but I certain hope we never get to a point in society where people are afraid to even talk to friendly children who talk to them.

Oh and if the kid leans over and is trying to get a look or something there's nothing wrong with saying that it's inappropriate or that it's private.

 

[B_thickjohnny]

The people I'd like to look over and say hi never do! Geez...