So me and my girlfriend had sex for the first few times last week. I don't know how to explain it and I've never had this prob before, but i'd be rock hard before sex, then as soon as I'd go to penetrate with a condom on i'd go limp. It happend five times and i'm so embarassed. Does nayone have any ideas of what I could do to fix this? I alwasy get hard I just loose it. I was considering a cock ring, but my balls are all the way to my base of my penis so it'd be hard to get it over the balls. Could I use a ring but not go past the balls? Any other ideas?
Cock ring question??
- Thread starter Govteenguy1235
- Start date
I remember the first time I had sex with my wife (when we were dating) I had a similar issue. It had never ever happened to me before. I think it was all mental... from nervousness... in a way, it was compliment to her. What needs to happen, is you need to get a good one under your belt to break the ice... just tell her you were nervous, and that you felt overwhelmed by her and that you didn't want to disapoint. It's basically performance anxiety. It will go away soon enough. Also, the condom could be a problem... maybe fool around with each other first before you put the condom on.
Incocknito
Sexy Member
Don't know how old you are your general health but if you're in your teens or 20's then this isn't a physical problem which can be 'fixed' with a cockring.
You seem to have a psychological fear or anxiety about penetrating a woman, which is causing your penis to become flaccid.
It doesn't cost anything to get in the right frame of mind. Just enjoy your partner, maybe lick her out first, play with her tits etc then when you are rock hard put the condom on.
Its normal to lose your erection slightly before and just after the condom goes on. All you need to do is get you or your partner to stroke / suck your cock to get it rock hard again.
Then away you go.
You seem to have a psychological fear or anxiety about penetrating a woman, which is causing your penis to become flaccid.
It doesn't cost anything to get in the right frame of mind. Just enjoy your partner, maybe lick her out first, play with her tits etc then when you are rock hard put the condom on.
Its normal to lose your erection slightly before and just after the condom goes on. All you need to do is get you or your partner to stroke / suck your cock to get it rock hard again.
Then away you go.
I do have a question about cock rings though. I got one and it seems ot help quite a bit. But, how tight are they supposed to be does anyone know? It's the rubber type. It works but I don't know how tight they're supposed to be. It makes my dick really really vainy and the head gets hard .How would I know if it's too tight to hurt me?
I just got one too to check it out for fun... and I'm wondering the same thing. Almost feels too tight on me. I got it cause I heard it could make a guy last longer. Anyone able to answer his cock ring question?
Could part of the problem be that you loose part of your erection when you put the condom on? Maybe you could have your girlfriend put in on for you and stroke your cock a little before actually penetrating her? Don't stress too much about it though, or it will only make your problem worse and then you will subliminally associate this problem with sex, and you will be reluctant to have sex with your girlfriend, which will cause a major problem even bigger than the one you have now. So, relax, don't think about losing your hardon or it WILL happen. Enjoy your girlfriend and let her help you out and I think you'll really have a great time!
Clavain
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Ok, two-part tackle here!
1, being a cock ring affectionado my advice is to use your common sense, if it´s painful, stop.
I would reccomend getting a bunch if different size rubber rings and try them out, personally i don't go for the "in front off balls" approach myself as i find it can harm my erection more than it helps (your mileage may vary).
For a behind the balls ring, id go for girth of cock + 10mm (that's a bit less than 1/2 inch for you non metric people) as a start and then work down in increments of 5mm. I get my stuff in stainless steel made custom, if you pack a large member, only experiment with strechy rings!
So, signs of warning? well, pain is bad, a really blue glans is worse. It should be tight enough to give you more "pump" but not tight enough to hurt, even after prolonged use.
Try it yourself while masturbating to get a feel for the effects, if you feel pain around the root of the cock after having the ring on for a time, then you're likely fitted to tight.
also cosk rings are a bit of a habit thing, remember that foremost they should be an aid and a boost, especially if you're young and healthy!
2. As for your suddenly turning flaccid, are you wearing properly sized condoms? I recognize myself greatly in your description back from the times when i still tried cramming myself into "standard" sized rubbers.
No absolute truths or quick solutions, sorry!
1, being a cock ring affectionado my advice is to use your common sense, if it´s painful, stop.
I would reccomend getting a bunch if different size rubber rings and try them out, personally i don't go for the "in front off balls" approach myself as i find it can harm my erection more than it helps (your mileage may vary).
For a behind the balls ring, id go for girth of cock + 10mm (that's a bit less than 1/2 inch for you non metric people) as a start and then work down in increments of 5mm. I get my stuff in stainless steel made custom, if you pack a large member, only experiment with strechy rings!
So, signs of warning? well, pain is bad, a really blue glans is worse. It should be tight enough to give you more "pump" but not tight enough to hurt, even after prolonged use.
Try it yourself while masturbating to get a feel for the effects, if you feel pain around the root of the cock after having the ring on for a time, then you're likely fitted to tight.
also cosk rings are a bit of a habit thing, remember that foremost they should be an aid and a boost, especially if you're young and healthy!
2. As for your suddenly turning flaccid, are you wearing properly sized condoms? I recognize myself greatly in your description back from the times when i still tried cramming myself into "standard" sized rubbers.
No absolute truths or quick solutions, sorry!
there can be first time/performance anxiety. maybe you are experiencing excessive anxiety and just need a chance to loosen up.
D_CountdeGrandePinja
Account Disabled
best one to use is with snaps - easy to adjust and remove quickly if there is a problem
Before you spend a lot of money on cockrings, look at the local hardware store/ farm store for O Rings... Also a horse/harness supply store you can get metal harness rings..
CHEAP. once you find the size that's right for you, order maybe a silicone or stainless one for general use....
CHEAP. once you find the size that's right for you, order maybe a silicone or stainless one for general use....
scottredleter
Sexy Member
it's the condom... try not thinking of it as a completely separate thing from the sex act. You need to make the condom erotic somehow. the previous post about having your girlfriend put t on you and stoke it while she is may help. Try different colors, have a couple of wrappers open so you're not wrestling with the wrapper. Keep your mind on the good stuff while you're sliding that thing on. Try to think of it as less clinical.
