Cock rules for swinging

[OhCanada]

My wife and I are considering swinging with another couple. We have had a few friends suggest this and feel it might be right for us. It seems all parties would like a foursome idea, including myself. We talked about all the positives and negatives between ourselves and between the other couples and are quite happy about everything but one issue. This would be the courtesy involved with my size. We don't know for sure but odds are the other guy involved will not be my size, nor will the girl have been with my size. Should we (and how should we) bring this up before hand with the other couple? This could be a no-big-deal or a positive but there is also a good chance that there could be some jealousy or a feeling that we didn't reveal all going in. If you were on the other side of this, how would you feel if the other guy was quite a bit bigger than you? Would you feel better if you knew this before hand? Any women, how would you feel?
Thx

 

[D_Kitand Kaboodle]

definitely tell them first. for one thing she may be kinda shallow and not into big guys. and maybe more importantly, you dont want him to feel like u satisfied his girl more than he can. he'll never get over it. i mean, since they're swingers, they might be completely prepared, or even looking specifically for hung guys, but in case its an ambush to his ego, better off telling them.

 

[Khana]

My husband and I enjoy other people, so I'm familiar with the situation.

There's one REALLY big issue to consider about swinging: communication.

Ok, that's normally something to consider. But it's REALLY important when swinging. Why? Because there's a lot of feelings that can be mixed up. Bits of jealousy you didn't think you'd feel, or a phenomenal surge of desire because you apparently have a heretofore unknown love of novelty, etc etc etc.

It's really tough sitting down and going over stuff with people. A casual hook up, really no concern, you're walking into problems with the expectation of dealing with it as it comes. But any intended long term thing, or anything with people you care about, you need to talk things over.

Both with your spouse and the intended partners. Just stuff that affects it. Rules of play, jealousy concerns, etc etc. Especially since it sounds like it's your first time. If it's their first time, too, then this particular issue definitely should be addressed ahead of time.

So yeah, definitely broach the subject. Swinging is a lot of fun, but it's dangerous, psychologically and physically (Stds, etc). Be careful, but have fun

 

[jorpollew]

Well, what if you had a regular-sized penis that was uncut or very curved? Would you still feel compelled to alert or warn a new sex partner beforehand? Probably not; especially if you haven't had a partner who was turned-off by your penis.

Part of the excitement of sex with new partners is the mystery of what's about to happen. And usually that means you don't know what you're going to get until you get it.

Yet, for some people, shape and appearance can be just as much a "deal breaker" as size. So, if a person already knows that s/he has a real "penis isuue" (and it can be a total turn-off), then that person should be the first one to address it directly. Otherwise, I don't think that you have to bring up the topic of your big penis. Let it be a surprise.

If you've already had a frank discussion with the other couple, then you all should have laid out the general ground rules-- what are the limits and everyone's turn-ons/turn-offs. And if the other couple didn't talk about penis size, then it shouldn't be an issue.

And I don't think you should be concerned about the other guy's reaction to your size. Most average-sized guys know that all bets are off when they have to drop their pants. I would guess that, no matter how big you are, he is very secure with his size. Otherwise, he probably wouldn't even be comfortable with swapping partners. Plus, did you also consider that the other guy could be well endowed, too? Hmmm...?

But hey, that's also part of the mystery and excitement, isn't it?

 

[B_doc23cm]

Difficult. If you bring it up ahead of time it might seem like you are bragging and they might not like that. There is also the possibility that the other man will be bigger than you anyway. Unlikely if you are bigger than average, but I imagine that men who are comfortable swinging might have a self-selecting bias towards being more hung than average. Are you prepared for that, never mind the other guy?

Communication is very important in monogamous relationships as well as swinging, but if you went on a date with a woman and felt you needed to warn her about your colossal dick, so she could bow out gracefully, most people would agree that would make you sound arrogant. If there is some sexy chat going on before, you could legitimately bring it up then, but I would play it by ear to be honest.

 

[hud01]

To me it is like Christmas day and unwrapping a present. I don't want to know about it before. Then again I like surprises.

 

[nielsek]

Having experience, don't worry about it, honestly!
Jealousy is not a problem with swinging couples, unless they are really beginners.
Good cock is always a nice surprise, but be ready for rejection, if you are too big for her.

Enjoy!

 

[Jean-Paul]

In our group, it's the women who knew whether the men they come with were up to the whole weekend and whether they are sufficiently hung or not.

 

[deleted81224]

Bollocks, dont say anything but be prepared to mentally record the look on her face when she unwraps your fleshy serpent.

I think it will be a highlight of your meet, the wow aspect, and I bet you this, he will be watching your way for the remainder of the meet analysing how she is dealing with your bayonet.

 

[Hockeytiger]

My wife and I are considering swinging with another couple. We have had a few friends suggest this and feel it might be right for us. It seems all parties would like a foursome idea, including myself. We talked about all the positives and negatives between ourselves and between the other couples and are quite happy about everything but one issue. This would be the courtesy involved with my size. We don't know for sure but odds are the other guy involved will not be my size, nor will the girl have been with my size. Should we (and how should we) bring this up before hand with the other couple? This could be a no-big-deal or a positive but there is also a good chance that there could be some jealousy or a feeling that we didn't reveal all going in. If you were on the other side of this, how would you feel if the other guy was quite a bit bigger than you? Would you feel better if you knew this before hand? Any women, how would you feel?
Thx

Nice to know that someone out there gives a shit about other people's feelings, unlike quite a few people in this thread.

I guess it really depends on wht size we're talking. I'd say that anything over 7.5" in length or 6" in girth ought to be a topic of discussion ahead of time. It is true that swingers ought to be able to handle such things, but that isn't necessarily true. On the other hand, as a guy I'm not sure I'd really want to know but then again I'm not really into the swinging scene.

 

[Mr_Cumalot]

OhCanada, not sure what your sizing is, but putting YOURself on the other side of the coin what if it turned out the other guy was 12 x 7 and they hadn't warned you. How would you feel? There gives you your answer.

 

[B_Bigp22]

My wife and I have experimented with other couples and it was defiantly a good time. So I defiantly recommend that. Also about the size issue, I say its a toss up for you; you are in control. If you dont say anything, you have something to be proud about and show off, and for the woman who has not been with a man your size, it will truly be a pleasant surprise for her. However my wife is a smaller woman and would defiantly would like to know if she is going to get rammed by a horse cock. So if you are truly too big or if this woman is small, possibly think about saying something.

But good luck! enjoy the sex

 

[danwilke]

Again, I think it's a matter of degree. If you are moderately bigger, bringing it up might be seen as arrogant or even prove disappointing when you get naked and they say mentally, "is that what all the noise was about?" If you are REALLY big then it's a generous safety warning like a hazard cone. I think in most cases, unless you are truly extraordinary, you should let the evening take care of itself and let whatever surprise you are packing be just that.

 

[wagoneer7]

I have never felt compelled to warn others what I am packing, and it's never been a problem.

However, we were given the 'head's up' about a nine-incher.....and the advance warning was nice.

 

[B_rfj]

If you're afraid of your wife enjoying a cock bigger than yours then swinging isn't for you.

Simply don't try it.

A swinger should forget about jealousy and accept that he and his wife might fuck other people with better bodies and even larger cocks. If this is an issue to you then don't consider it.

 

[skeeter1]

Me and the ex were at a party and a guy guy with a huge dick came up to her and slid it in, one stroke and sh said enough.

 

[D_Suckleberry Hound]

Me and the ex were at a party and a guy guy with a huge dick came up to her and slid it in, one stroke and sh said enough.

I'm not exactly sure what this means, but it may be saying what I was thinking...
What if you are too big for the other woman to be comfortable with? Are you going to be ok if your wife gets fucked by the other guy, but you don't get fucked by the other woman?