Cocklust

[briacon429]

Chad seemed totally different from the guy I'd known before. He'd always been the frat boy brimming with confidence, if not downright cockiness; or at least that was how I'd always seen him. Now he was stumbling over his words, with a scared-shitless look on his face. I didn't know if I'd ever seen a grown man so vulnerable.

He didn't want to talk in public, so we walked to his car, which was parked around the corner. We just sat there for a minute, with me in the passenger seat and him in the driver's, while he tried to figure out where to start.

"Y-you've got to understand," he said, "my dad is not a guy to fuck with. I-I mean, he used to be a Navy SEAL and everything, and he lost his shit when they got rid of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'. His exact words were, it would cripple the country and pansy it up."

"Shit--"

"I mean, I tried to act normal when I got there. I thought if I just got away from you and went back to my old life, I could stop thinking about you, and I could go back to the way things were... but I couldn't."

It took a second for his words to sink in. Before I could say anything, Chad cleared his throat.

"My dad could totally tell something was up. I mean, I could see it in his eyes. He just didn't know what it was, and I was scared if he found out he'd beat the shit out of me. I-I didn't know what to do, I felt like I was gonna throw up basically all day every day... so all I can say is, thank God for Ryan and Marcos."

"Ryan and Marcos?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said. "They were the first ones I came out to... I figured they'd know what to do."

I couldn't argue with his logic. Part of me wished he hadn't told them, considering they were our frat brothers. But I wasn't going to argue; after all, they were gay too. "How much did you tell them? I-I mean, about us--"

"I didn't tell them that part," he said. "I just said I thought I liked guys. I mean, I don't know if they saw through it or what. Fuck, I barely even remember half of what I said. I was freaking out-- I just couldn't--"

"Hey, I get it," I said.

Chad turned the ignition and started driving down the street. I didn't know where he was going, but I wasn't about to ask. "Anyway," he said, "Marcos said I should work my way up to it: tell my brother first, then my mom, then my dad. I-I mean my brother's just sixteen, he's got friends in school who are gay, or have two moms or two dads or whatever. So out of anyone in my family... at least he seemed like he wouldn't shit his pants."

My mind was swimming, so I just stared at the trees going past.

"It didn't exactly go how I expected," he said. "I-I kept wanting to tell him, and I tried to force myself and everything, but I kept chickening out... till one night, Patrick was playing Mortal Kombat. He was beating the shit out of somebody, yelling at the screen, and he called him a faggot. And that's when I couldn't take it anymore. I made him stop, and I asked him: what would you say if I was into a guy?"

I wanted to ask him about that last sentence. But Chad kept on talking.

"He just made some crack about all the great pussy that's out there. It wasn't till I told him I wasn't kidding, and I asked him not to say anything... that was when he got really quiet. I-I mean, I guess that's just Patrick, but it didn't really help."

"Shit," was all I could say.

"I almost gave up on telling my mom... till one day, she started in on her twenty questions about the girls I'd met in school. I didn't know what to tell her, a-and I didn't have time to come up with a good story, so fuck it-- I told her the truth. At least the shorter G-rated version." Chad sighed. "She said it was just a phase. That, and I could get AIDS."

My stomach was starting to twist into knots. I was all too aware that I'd never come out to anyone, except of course to the guys I'd slept with. I couldn't imagine going through that hell.

"You know what the worst part was?" he asked. "It was when she asked me: 'do you know what your father would say?' As if I hadn't been stressing about it the whole fucking time--"

"I'm sorry," I said.

"I mean, shit!" he said. "I couldn't deal with it anymore. I just-- fuck, I got out of there as fast as I could. So I went and crashed with Marcos for a while."

I was starting to put two and two together. If Chad had been staying with Marcos, then that would explain the picture I'd seen on Facebook. And if Chad was that self-conscious, then it seemed to explain why the picture got deleted.

"I mean, the cool thing was seeing Marcos's family, and how they acted around him. They were all super-Catholic, and some of them were cooler with him being gay than others... but at the end of the day, they all loved him. And that was all there was to it."

I looked over at Chad. My guilt was gnawing at me. I kept thinking of how I'd spent that summer slutting it up.

"Anyway... by the time I got back home... I thought I could finally do it. But he wouldn't talk to me. Apparently my mom had already told him."

I blinked. I couldn't imagine my dad finding out secondhand.

"I tried to tell myself it was normal," he said. "Not talking to me, I mean. See, he's always been busy with work. When he was in the Navy, he was always gone for long stretches, a-and even now he's with a defense contractor, which isn't all that different... but then I found out he was talking to Patrick. And my mom. I was the only one he was avoiding."

Chad pulled over into a parking lot. We were at the edge of town, next to a nature preserve. It seemed like a good spot for the privacy we needed.

"I thought he was gonna disown me," he said. "I-I mean, I was worried he wouldn't pay for school or whatever, and I'd never get to come back, and I'd never see you again. But I didn't want to push the guy either, and inflame the whole thing. So fuck, I didn't know what to do."

I could't take my eyes off Chad. His eyes were a lot more watery than I'd expected. He didn't have tears running down his cheeks, but he wasn't far off.

"It wasn't till two days ago, my last day at home, when he finally reared his head. He said my mom had told him about the shenanigans I was in-- that was his word-- so I'd better not get myself in trouble. I don't know what the fuck that was supposed to mean, I-I guess it could've been worse, but still, what does he call trouble?"

"I dunno," I said. "I mean, maybe he doesn't know what to say--"

"Fuck if I know," he said. "Point is, I guess it's official now... with my family knowing and shit. And... well, I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for you."

I didn't know how I felt about that last part. "You didn't need to do that," I said, "at least not for me."

"Scott, don't you get it? I didn't have a choice. It's not like I told them about you, at least not in detail. I just-- I had something in me I couldn't control. I wish to God I could've hidden it, because God knows I would."

I stared out at the wilderness around us. "Well," I said, "I-I guess... well, I don't think I can control this shit either."

Chad's eyebrows went up. "What do you mean?"

"Well," I said. "I should tell you a secret of my own. When I rushed the Kap Eps last spring... I did it because of you."

"What?"

"I mean, I'd seen you around Shaw," I said. "I guess I was into you too." As soon as I said it, I wished I hadn't, because I thought I'd been too forward. I was on pins and needles waiting for him to respond.

"Humph," he said, "those showers were a joke. When I found out I had to use them... the only upside was hoping some guy would pick me up."

I didn't know what I'd expected, but it definitely wasn't that. "Wait a minute," I said. "So all that shit you did in the shower-- all that showing off and whatnot-- are you saying that was on purpose?"

He shrugged. "Well yeah," he said.

"It's just-- I mean, when I saw you in there, I never would've thought--"

"That's why I rushed the Kap Eps too."

I frowned. "What?"

"I'd heard about that hazing ritual," he said. "Or initiation, or whatever we're technically supposed to call it... and I wanted in on it."

"Wait a minute," I said. "You mean that circle jerk--"

"Ryan and Marcos had heard about it too," he said. "They told me later it was the whole reason they came. Of course, they didn't expect to have to fuck in front of us, but still...."

"Holy shit," I said. I was starting to see the past eight months in a totally new light.

"I just didn't expect what that shit would turn into."

I sighed. I wanted to say I knew how he felt, but at that point, I wasn't sure I really knew much of anything.

Chad looked into my eyes. "You know how much I missed you?"

"Don't say that," I said.

"It's true--"

"Well, I missed you too. And it really fucked with me, okay? The way you freaked out on me that night--"

"Listen--"

"--and then you wouldn't talk to me," I said. "I-I mean, it's not like it was for my lack of trying. You wouldn't call me back, or message me, or anything. It was like you dropped off the face of the earth."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I can't tell you-- well, it's like I said, I didn't know what to do... I knew I was into you, like a lot, and it scared the shit out of me. I never felt that before."

I mulled over his words. "What do you mean, you never felt that before?"

"Well... it's true. None of the girls I'd been with made me feel the way you do."

"Fuck, Chad," I said. "I mean, for God's sake, man, how did you think I felt? I-I mean I wanted to come see you, or at least talk to you or something--"

"I'm sorry," he said. "I don't know how many times I can say it, but I mean it. I fucked up. I just... well, if you can just give me a second chance...."

I sighed. "I dunno," I said. "I mean, fuck if I know what to do."

Chad looked like I'd just punched him in the face. "Are you saying--"

"I don't know what I'm saying." I looked around to make sure there was no one around us. "Let's just... well, let's take this one step at a time." And I moved in to kiss him.

Our lips and tongues came together like keys sliding into a lock. I could practically feel the tumblers turning inside me. I'd never wanted to be with anyone so much, but I'd also never felt so conflicted.

Chad's body pressed against mine, and we tried to ignore the center console between us. I could see his dick straining through his pants; he would've been standing at attention if his jeans had allowed it.

I wanted to fuck him right there, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to do it. It wasn't just the setting; we could've done it in the car, or we could've done it in the forest outside. But for the first time in months, I forced myself to keep my dick in my pants.

Finally Chad broke away from me. "Fuck," he said. "I've been wanting that more than I should."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

Chad ran his hand through his hair. "I dunno," I said. "I just... I'm not supposed to be into you. We were supposed to just be fuck buddies, remember?"

"According to you," I said. "I mean... all this shit's just between us. Nobody else needs to know."

Chad seemed to blink away a tear, but then he clenched his jaw. "Yeah," he said. "You know, w-well I won't tell anybody if you won't."

"I wasn't planning on it anyway," I said. "I mean yeah, I promise." Then I forced a smile. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he said. Then he took a deep breath. "I'll be fine."

We knew we had to get back to campus, but we took our damn time. I savored every minute I could spend alone with Chad. I liked the privacy of hanging out in his car; I didn't want to be around other people, especially since that would mean having to act normal.

At one point we stopped to grab a bite to eat, but it felt awkward having to restrain ourselves. Then again, I thought, it might make for good practice for the semester to come. I knew it wouldn't be easy to hide our secret from our frat brothers, so we'd need to be extra-careful around them.

I definitely didn't want to leave him that night. I knew I'd eventually have to, but I put it off for as long as I could. After lots of hemming and hawing, Chad eventually drove me to my place, and he pulled up to the curb. The sky was totally dark, and I could hear the crickets chirping in the distance.

"So," Chad said, "what are you doing tomorrow?"

"I dunno," I said. "Nothing special, I mean, since classes don't start till Monday--"

"That's cool," he said. "I...." His voice trailed off, and he put his hand on my cheek. "I'm glad to finally see you again."

"I'm glad to see you too," I said. I debated whether to give him a good-night kiss, but then I saw a girl down the street. She didn't look like anyone I knew, but I didn't want to risk it.

Chad must've seen the girl too, because his demeanor instantly changed. "Cool," he finally said.

Without further ado, I got out and closed the car door behind me. I walked up the front steps, then turned and looked back at him. Chad waved at me, then drove off. I took a deep breath and finally went inside.

I could barely wrap my mind around what had just happened. I had no idea how I felt about it, and I could hardly imagine what might happen from here.

Barely five minutes later, my phone buzzed with a text. Night dude, Chad wrote. See you in the morning.

I suddenly felt butterflies in my chest. Technically we hadn't talked about meeting again, but I wasn't about to argue. You too man, I wrote. I put my phone in the charger, but after a minute, I decided to write: I'm thinking of you.

Chad seemed to hesitate. The little thought-bubble icon appeared on my phone, but then it vanished; then it reappeared again. Thinking of you too, he finally wrote. Miss you already. Then he added an emoji.

I couldn't take it anymore. I plopped into bed, yanked my pants down, and started jacking off. I kept thinking of Chad while I did it. I imagined he was going at it too, preferably thinking of me, just a few blocks away. I kept fantasizing about his hard cock, and how his fist must be pounding away.

I was craving something up my ass, but I didn't have any toys, so I did the next-best thing: I reached down with my spare hand, and I started fingering my hole.

My balls started tingling almost immediately. I imagined Chad really fucking me, with his body pumping back and forth, with his hair slashing against his head, and his hard cock sliding in and out of my cunt. I could practically hear his dirty talk, which was music to my ears.

It didn't take long before I got off. I let out a loud scream-- after all, I had my whole place to myself-- as my ass squeezed down hard around my fingers. All my pent-up tension and anxiety came to a head, and my cum came gushing out of me. I fell back against my pillow, gave myself a few last strokes, and finally took a deep breath.

 

[briacon429]

I pulled my fingers out of my ass, then halfheartedly wiped the cum from my body. Then I rolled over and tried to fall asleep, because I couldn't wait for morning.

I spent the next few hours dreaming of Chad. I don't remember details; I just remember a blur of skin, dick, and ass. Like all my other sex dreams, it was totally frustrating. I kept trying to bang him, but I kept getting cock-blocked.

My phone buzzed around six a.m. I jumped out of bed, yanked the phone out of the charger, and forced my eyes to focus. Under normal circumstances, it would've been too early for me. But at that moment, I felt anything but normal.

Morning dude, Chad had texted. I'm going to grab coffee at Main St. Mocha. Wanna come?

I couldn't say yes fast enough. Main Street Mocha was just around the corner. Be there in 10 minutes, I wrote. I shaved as fast as I could, jumped in the shower, and threw on some clothes. Then I showed up just as I'd promised.

Chad was already there, and he'd already ordered me a coffee. He'd gotten it just the way I liked it-- dark roast with cream but no sugar-- which threw me for a loop.

"You're not hard to figure out," he said, "at least when it comes to this shit. That's how you always got your coffee during Rush Week. You think I wouldn't remember?"

I frowned. I didn't remember ever having ordered coffee around him. Then again, I'd had practically the same coffee every morning for years. Part of me was weirded out that he'd noticed, but another part thought it was sweet. I couldn't deny that Chad had ordered what I wanted; so all in all, I couldn't complain. "Thanks," was all I could say.

"Anyway, sorry if I got weird on you last night," he said. "I really didn't mean to."

My heart sank a little. I'd been hanging on Chad's every word, and I didn't want to think he didn't mean it. "No," I said, "I never thought you were weird."

Chad's eyebrows went up. "You didn't?" he asked. "I mean, I figured it'd be fun to hang out-- w-well, assuming you've got time-- before all the craziness starts."

I tried to gauge the tone in his voice. Chad still sounded nervous, and he almost made it sound like this was a date. "You know," I said, "I don't even know what your major is. We never really talked about it--"

"Poli sci," he said.

"That's cool," I said. "Me, I'm pre-law... but I'm not sure I'm into it."

Chad nodded. He'd apparently ordered a latte for himself, and he kept sipping it as we headed outside. "Welcome to the club," he said. "I don't exactly love poli sci either. I was hoping to go to school on a basketball scholarship, but it didn't work out. So here I am, trying to figure out what to do... in more ways than one."

"I never knew that," I said.

"Well shit--"

"There's a hell of a lot I don't know about you," I said.

"What do you want to know?" he asked. "I told you about my family--"

"Just barely," I said. "I'd never heard of them till last night."

"Dude," he said, "it's complicated."

"What's so complicated?"

"You know I wasn't even born in this country?" he asked. "I was born on Okinawa. It was classic Navy brat shit. I mean, I guess it's cool I got to see the world... certain parts of it, anyway. But I couldn't keep friends for very long, so I never really felt like I belonged anywhere. At least till my dad retired from the service, which was when I was in high school." He sighed. "The only people I could rely on, the ones who were always there, were my family... and now, well, who the hell knows anymore, though I guess we'll find out."

I took a huge gulp of coffee. "Well," I finally said, "I don't know how I'm gonna tell my family either."

"Are they super-conservative too?"

"I dunno," I said, "I mean, not like yours. Not politically. My dad's an attorney, and my mom's a realtor. A-and then there's my sister; she's going to Dartmouth. They're all basically whitebread. Their idea of drama is dealing with their homeowners' association. If they knew about this shit...."

"You don't think they've figured it out?"

"I... well, I don't think so, but hell if I know. If anybody's on to me, it'd probably be my sister."

"How so?"

"She's like a fucking interrogator," I said, "and she's always been like that. She's never forgiven me for breaking up with my ex." As soon as I said it, I felt a pang of regret, but it was too late.

Chad pursed his lips, as if he had a sour taste in his mouth. "Your ex, huh?"

"W-well, I mean, I haven't talked to her in forever. I made sure to avoid her--"

"Tell me about her."

I paused. "What?"

"Well, it's like you said... there's a lot I don't know about you either."

I took a deep breath. I didn't really want to talk about girls, but if we were going to figure this shit out, I knew we'd need to broach the subject sooner or later. "Well, her name was Erica," I said. "I dated her from sophomore to senior year, and she was the one I lost my virginity to... my straight virginity at least."

 

[briacon429]

Chad kept a poker face. "So what happened?"

"Well, we were supposed to go to college together," I said, "but then her parents ran into money trouble, so I came by myself."

"Wait a minute," Chad said. "Your girl was supposed to go school here?"

"Originally yeah," I said. "She ended up going to community college back home."

"That sucks," he said, "I mean, not in, you know--"

"I haven't talked to her since," I said, "but it sounds like she's not doing well. Amy, my sister, tries to give me guilt trips like it's somehow my fault."

"Shit," he said.

"I guess she doesn't mean anything by it, it's just... well, she just drives me fucking crazy sometimes. Sisters will do that to you."

Chad nodded. "I'll take your word for it," he said. "I don't have a sister, but my ex...." Then his voice trailed off.

"What about her?"

"Well, our senior year, we were homecoming king and queen. Everybody pretty much assumed we'd get married." He snorted. "Little did I know."

I didn't know how to respond at first. I hadn't forgotten his freak-out from spring semester, so I knew I had to tread carefully. "Do you think... you're still into girls?"

Chad looked at the streets around us, then turned back to me. "I-I mean, I dunno," he said. "I guess I still think they're hot and all... but do I want to fuck them?" He shrugged. "Not anymore."

"You know, I never thought I'd be into guys," I said, "I guess till I saw my first gay porn and liked it."

Chad licked his lips. "Yeah, I don't know when I first thought of it," he said.

"If you were showing off in the showers, you must've had an idea--"

"Yeah," he said. "I... well, maybe it was when I caught myself checking out other guys' butts. I mean, that was years ago, but I guess it took me a while to realize what a dead giveaway that was." He cleared his throat. "W-when I, uh, played basketball, they always made us shower together... we used to compare our cocks and shit, a-and I probably liked it a little too much."

"So basically like the Kap Eps," I said.

"I guess," he said, "except I don't think any guys on the team were actually gay."

"You mean besides you?"

Chad got really quiet. I suddenly worried I'd said the wrong thing. "Well," he finally said, "I still don't know what I am."

I wanted to kiss him right then, but I forced myself to hold back. "Don't worry about it," I said. "At least not around me." I'd never talked to a guy about my feelings, but somehow with Chad it felt right. I tried to act as casual as I could, but the truth was, I was a bundle of nerves myself.

We ended up talking for hours. Along the way, I learned a hell of a lot. I'd never known Chad's mom was a rich girl-- some sort of a banking heiress-- but this explained why he'd always seemed to have money. I also learned his brother had gotten in with a bad crowd, and was getting in trouble with the law. Chad tried to act like he wasn't bothered by it, but I could see in his eyes that he was.

I also got to know some of Chad's quirks, like how he was into rugby, so he had a lot of strong opinions about teams I'd never heard of. He was apparently insane about Game of Thrones too, and he went on and on about how evil Cersei was. His most random tic of all was how he somehow hated eggs; I'd never heard of such a thing, but Chad acted weird when he smelled them.

I found myself opening up to Chad too. I told him stories of growing up in the burbs, and how I'd always itched to get away. Somehow we got onto the topic of music, and I told him how my mom had tried to get me into the Bangles. Then I recounted what it was like to have mono, and how I'd missed three months' worth of school.

Eventually we ended up at my place. I knew it wasn't much to look at, considering it was just a little studio, and I hadn't fully unpacked. But at that point, I don't think either of us cared.

"This is awesome," he said. "I should've gotten a place like this. I thought it'd be cool in the frat house, but now I'm not so sure--"

"Well," I said, "I did move here for a reason."

"Why was that?"

"Do you need me to spell it out for you?" I asked. I pressed his body against the wall, and I started making out with him.

We stumbled to my bed and plopped down on the sheets. The next thing I knew, we were stripping off each other's clothes.

Both of us were as hard as a rock. I had almost forgotten how much I loved Chad's body. He still had the ripped chest and breathtaking package I'd first laid eyes on months before.

Chad ran his hands along my skin. "My God," he said. "Do you know how many times I jacked off thinking of this?"

Those words sent my hormones raging. "Say what?"

"Well yeah," he said. "It gave me something to look forward to."

I could barely believe what I was hearing. I fumbled for my lube, and I reached for a condom, but Chad grabbed my hand.

"No condom," he said. "I need to feel you inside me. With nothing in the way."

"I get it," I said, "but to be safe--"

"I haven't been with anybody else," he said. "Have you?"

A new wave of guilt came over me. I didn't know what to say; I didn't want to tell him the truth, but I also didn't want to lie.

"Okay," Chad said, "I-I mean I get it. I guess I can't really complain, it's just--"

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't know what I know now."

"It's fine," he said, although I couldn't tell if he meant it. He took a deep breath, then looked into my eyes. "I don't want to know too much, so just tell me... were you safe?"

"Well yeah," I said. "I never barebacked with anybody else."

Chad forced a laugh. "So I'm the lucky one?" he asked.

"Dude," I said, "it's always been different with you. That's what I was trying to tell you when we got in that fight. And if that hadn't happened, I never would've done anything with anybody else. Even when I did... I mean, I was just getting off. It never made me feel the way I do now."

"Fuck, Scott." Chad swallowed hard. "Don't make me regret this."

"Regret what?"

"All this shit," he said. "You know how much I've got to lose here... but somehow, every time I see you, it makes me feel like it's worth it."

I didn't know what to say to that. I basically felt the same way, although I didn't want to admit it.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is... I trust you. So if you tell me you were safe, and if you tell me you're not seeing anybody else, I'll believe it. I just don't want to get burned... because I can't afford that right now."

I choked down a lump in my throat. "Okay," I said.

Chad pulled me closer. "So now that we've got that out of the way," he said, "you can fuck me without a condom."

"Well, when you put it that way--"

"And since we fought last time," he said, "does that make this our make-up sex?"

"What do you mean?"

"Isn't that supposed to be the best kind?"

I shrugged. "I guess we'll find out."

And we did.

I could tell Chad hadn't bottomed in a while. His ass had gotten so tight that he could barely take me in. He was obviously in pain, so I tried to pull out, but he wouldn't let me. "I need this so bad," he said as he tried to control his sphincter. Then, once his body started to relax, he pulled me deeper inside him.

I'd gotten so used to condoms that barebacking felt like a whole new sensation. I loved the feeling of Chad's flesh against mine. It was like both of our bodies were united; I could hardly tell where his ended and mine began. We kept making out while we both groaned with pleasure.

"Oh yeah," he said between kisses, "you're so fucking hot...."

"So are you," I said.

"I love that dick in my ass," he said, "it's the best fucking dick...."

"Just take it. You know you want it--"

"Oh yeah," he said, then he threw his head back. "I can't believe you feel so good...."

"You do too," I said as I pumped further into him.

I went to touch his cock, but he pushed my hand away. "No," he said, "fuck me harder."

I rammed into him, and I felt my dick hit his prostate. Chad's jaw dropped open. His arms were wrapped around me, and I could feel his fingers digging into my back. I started fucking him as hard and fast as my body would let me.

"Oh God baby," he said, "I'm so close, don't stop... oh please...."

I knew I wouldn't last long myself. My whole body felt euphoric, and I could tell Chad's did too.

"Aaaaah!" he suddenly screamed as a rope of cum shot out of him. He never touched himself, but his cum kept spurting. I could feel his hole convulsing around my dick.

"Oh shit," I grunted as I felt myself go over the edge. Chad looked right into my eyes as I blew my load inside him. It was a full-body experience; my heart was pounding, and my fingers were tingling. Then my legs started shaking, and I collapsed on top of him. "Fuck yeah," was all I could say.

Chad kissed my forehead. My dick was still inside him, and his cum was smeared between us, but I didn't care.

"You called me baby," I finally said. "That's a first."

"Did I?" he asked. "I don't even remember." He ran his arms across my back. "Fuck, I needed that."

We just laid there for a minute. I snuggled against his face, and I kissed him on the cheek. Our limbs were tangled together, but it felt totally comfortable, and both of us were still hard. "You know, if you want to clean up--"

"No," he said. "I waited so long to get your cum in me... I want this feeling to last."

I looked into his eyes. He had a faraway look on his face, almost like he was dreaming. "What is it?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You've got something on your mind," I said, "I can tell."

"It's just...." Then his voice trailed off. "I've been thinking about this so much."

I could feel my mouth starting to water. "How much?"

"Well...." He swallowed. "Maybe four or five times a day?"

"Shit," I said, "you've been jacking off that much?"

"Not necessarily," he said. "Depending on what I was up to... sometimes all I could do was fantasize about it."

"Dude," I said, "that's fucking hot."

"Believe me, I know," he said, "but I could never tell anyone."

"You could always tell me," I said.

"I guess I can now, it's just... well you know, at the time...." Chad slid his hands down my body, and he started massaging my ass. "Well, now that we're here, I don't want it to end." And he toyed with my hole.

"Are you saying you want to keep going?"

"Well, you said it, not me...."

I liked the sound of that, so I gave him a deep kiss. I circled my tongue around his, and I made sure to take his spit in my mouth.

Eventually I pulled out of him and stuck my ass in the air. Chad took up his position behind me, and he licked each of my cheeks. Then he moved into my crack, and he swished his tongue around my hole. A tingling sensation shot through me; I remembered how much Chad liked butt play, and how good he was at it. "Your ass is so hot," he said between licks.

"Then keep doing that," was all I could say.

As much as Chad seemed to love my ass, I loved what he did with it even more. The man was fucking talented, no two ways about it. I relished the way his lips kept toying with my hole. I probably could've gotten off right then, if I hadn't already done it a few minutes before. In a way, the fact that we were spent was a blessing. Neither of us were in any real hurry, so we could relax and enjoy the ride.

After a few more minutes, Chad came up for air. I took the opportunity to put my hand on his cock. I played with it for a minute, and I watched Chad's face as he reacted. Then I pulled his dick toward me, guided it into my mouth, and unceremoniously started sucking away.

"Oh fuck," he gasped. "You're so fucking good at this."

I could still taste some of his cum, but it was really just icing on the cake. The part I loved most was the taste and texture of his meat. I devoured him as if I'd been starving.

"Yeah baby," he said. "Keep doing that... it feels so hot...."

I reached behind him and played with his ass. His mancunt was still smeared with lube, and I was tempted to stick my finger inside, but I resisted the urge. Instead, I ran my fingers down his taint, and I started playing with his balls.

I blew him for another few minutes, then finally let him fuck me. I was still crouched on all fours, and I shuddered with anticipation as he lubed me up. He ran his cock up and down my crack, which practically drove me wild. Then he pressed against my ring, and I felt his tip pop inside me.

"Oh yeah," I said, "just like that, baby...."

He slid in another inch or so. "You want more of that dick?"

"Oh come on--"

"I want to hear you say it."

"Get it in deeper--"

"You sure you're ready for it?"

"I want you to fuck the shit out of me," I said, "good and hard."

Chad went the rest of the way in, till I felt his pubes on my cheeks. "Oh yeah," he said. "God, I missed this...."

"Me too."

Chad started pumping into me, but he took it nice and slow. We both seemed to be savoring the sensation. "Your hole feels so good," he said. "Fuck, I love this ass."

I arched my back, and Chad leaned down and kissed my shoulders. I tried to reciprocate, but in that position I couldn't. The one thing I could do was work my ass. I gyrated my hips, and I tightened my sphincter as hard as I could. I remembered how much he liked that, and he reacted exactly how I expected. He let out a loud groan, and he thrust his dick even harder inside me.

We kept doing it like that for a while, till Chad whispered in my ear: "I want to look in your eyes when I'm fucking you."

As soon as he said those words, I felt myself getting harder, though I hadn't thought that was possible. "Oh yeah," was all I could say.

Chad pulled out of me, and I turned on my back. I spread my legs nice and wide, and he leaned over me. Then he teased me again: he ran his dick along my taint, but he wouldn't slide it inside me.

"Fuck," I said, "you shouldn't do that...."

"Why not?" he asked. "Are you saying you don't like it?"

"I want you so bad...."

Chad kissed me again. This time was longer and harder than before. When he finally broke it off, he looked right in my eyes, and he licked his lips. "What do you want me to do to you?"

"Just get your cock in me," I said. I knew he was trying to drive me crazy, and it was working. At the same time, I knew I couldn't complain; after all, I'd done the same thing to him.

He reached down and toyed with my package. Then he slid his hand down to my half-fucked hole. "Are you sure about that?"

I let out a little scream. "Stop fucking teasing me!" I yelled. "Get inside me. Now!"

Chad seemed to love it. He flashed a toothy grin, then ran his hands up my legs. At that moment, he was in total control-- which seemed to be just the way he wanted it.

"Are you gonna fuck me or not?"

He suddenly thrust forward, and his dick slammed deep inside me. I let out another scream, although it felt so good that I couldn't complain. Then Chad leaned down and kissed me again.

I was pretty much ecstatic by then. I loved making out with Chad while he fucked me. I savored the taste of his lips, and I ran my tongue around his. I was so focused on his body that it seemed like nothing else mattered.

Eventually Chad broke off the kiss. He made his way to my Adam's apple, and he continued down my neck. The next thing I knew, Chad was sucking on my skin. It felt incredibly erotic-- way more than I'd expected-- so I kept moaning in response. I could totally feel the blood rushing into my neck, not to mention my cock.

"Oh shit," I said. "Oh shit!"

Chad's body was starting to tense up. After a minute, he finished sucking on me, and he threw his head back. "I'm getting close," he said.

I marveled at the beautiful muscles above me. "Cum in me," I said. "Just fucking do it."

"Oh baby...."

"Yeah," I said. "I want to feel your hot cum in my ass."

He pistoned for another few seconds. Then I felt his dick expand inside me, and he let out a roar.

Chad's eruption was just what I'd hoped for. I watched his face as he came, and I sensed his warmth flowing through me. I was close myself, so I reached down, jerked myself off, and shot on my chest.

Suddenly we heard a bunch of loud thumps. Apparently my neighbor was banging on the wall. Chad and I both froze for a second, but then we found ourselves cracking up with laughter. I didn't realize how loud we'd been, and I was kind of embarrassed, but I also felt like it was really fucking hot.

Chad pulled out of me, then plopped down on the bed. "Oh shit," he said as he put his fingers on my neck. "You've got a hickey."

I tried to see the hickey for myself, but I couldn't. "How big is it?"

"Well," he said, "I wouldn't wear a wife beater anytime soon. At least not in public. But a polo or something will hide it." He licked his lips. "Sorry."

"When did you hear me complain?"

"I'm just saying." Then Chad kissed me again, and he snuggled up beside me. A few ropes of cum were still smeared between us, but at that point, I don't think either of us cared.

We just laid there for a while, holding each other, and we hardly said a word. It felt like the perfect end to the day. I couldn't imagine anything more intimate than the fact that each of us held the other's load up our butts. I snuggled up against Chad's body, and I breathed in the smell of his skin; but beyond that, I didn't want to move.

Then, slowly but surely, we both drifted off to sleep.

 

[briacon429]

That Monday morning, for the first time in my life, I woke up in the arms of a dude. And not just any dude: he was the one I'd lusted for all this time, the one who'd made me realize I was gay, and the one I'd lost my man virginity to. I still couldn't believe I'd had a similar effect on him.

I'd assumed our little fling was just physical, but now I knew there was more to it. Part of me was nervous, because I didn't know where this was going. Another part wanted to stay like that forever; I felt totally safe with his arms around me.

Chad shifted his body, and I felt his morning wood press against me. I was tempted to play with him, but I resisted the urge. Instead, I just leaned over and kissed him.

Chad yawned and rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?" he asked.

"Seven forty-five," I said.

"What? You're shitting me."

"No I'm not," I said as I showed him my phone.

"Shit," he said as he jumped out of bed. "I've got an eight o'clock class. I need to run home and change--"

"No you don't," I said. "Just wear something of mine."

"For Christ's sake, Scott--"

"Nobody will know," I said. I got up and opened my closet. "Besides, we're about the same size... isn't that one of the perks of having a boyfriend?" I handed him a shirt.

Chad paused, then took the shirt in his hands. "So is that what we are now?"

"You tell me."

He looked around, as if he didn't want to be seen. "Well," he said, "we still don't need to say anything. Not publicly, at least. I've had enough to deal with--"

"I get it," I said. I tossed him a pair of shorts, and he put them on. They ended up fitting him perfectly. "You look hot."

"It feels weird," he said. "I'd never worn another dude's clothes. At least not like this."

"Well, I've never had another dude as my boyfriend. So I guess that makes us even."

Chad let off a nervous laugh. He tried to smooth out his hair, but it wouldn't cooperate, so I handed him a ballcap.

"Look at it this way," I said. "If you're still uncomfortable after class, you can always come here... and I can peel these clothes back off of you."

"Mm," he said as he kissed me. "I like the sound of that." Then he stepped into his flip-flops and hurried out the door.

I just stood there for a second, then plopped down on my bed. I reached down to Chad's dirty clothes, which were still lying on the floor. I held his pants to my face and inhaled his musky scent. I had to force myself not to do anything naughty.

My mind started swimming with all the shit I had to do. I was a little self-conscious about the hickey Chad had left, so I knew I'd have to be careful about what I wore. I also knew I'd need to get tested after the summer I'd had. I could've gone to the student health center for that, but I didn't have the nerve; I remembered how Chad had mentioned having gone somewhere else, so I made a mental note to ask him for details.

In the meantime, I went through my phone and deleted my hookup apps. Grindr was the first to go, followed by Jack'd, Hornet, and finally Scruff. By that point, I felt bad for having used them at all.

Eventually I showered and dressed, and I headed out to my first class. It was a philosophy course, which was required for my major but was totally uninteresting. To me, it was one more reason to switch majors, although I wasn't in the mood to deal with yet another life decision, and I still didn't know what I might want to switch to.

I spent that class basically lost in thought. On the one hand, I was pumped about me and Chad being a couple; I wanted to run off with him and live happily ever after. But on the other hand, I was scared of falling too hard too fast, especially since I'd been burned by him before. I knew he'd had his reasons for what he'd done, but I still didn't know what to think of how he'd gone about it. Now the stakes were that much higher, at least in my mind.

I was starting to realize how complicated Chad really was, and I could only guess what was going to come next. I'd never been one to talk about my feelings, but at that particular moment, I was dying to get that shit off my chest. The problem was, I had no one to talk to, at least about that. I couldn't say anything to the Kap Eps-- even Ryan or Marcos-- and I'd hardly talked to my other friends in months.

I'd just left class, and was walking past the quad, when I saw a flyer for Wildcat Pride. I knew this was a gay student group, but beyond that, I didn't know much about them. The flyer said they'd be holding a meeting that Thursday. I knew I wasn't ballsy enough to actually show up, but I was intrigued enough to want to know more.

I was about to look them up when my phone buzzed, and I saw a text from Chad: I feel like going to Giulia's for dinner. Wanna come?

I felt a little flutter in my chest, and at least some of my anxiety went away. Giulia's was the best pizza joint in town. I paused for a second, then typed out the words: Just you and me?

That's the idea, he said.

I debated how to respond. Finally I just settled on: That's cool.

Awesome, he said. I'll pick you up at 7. Sound good?

I took a deep breath. It's a date, I wrote, and then I hit "send".

I wasn't sure what to do next. After all, I'd never done any actual gay dating, so I wasn't clear on how it all worked. It did make sense for him to pick me up, since he had his own car and I didn't. I also assumed we wouldn't do any PDA, since neither of us were publicly out. But that was about all I knew.

I wasn't sure if one of us should be pursuing the other, or if there were other rules for us to follow. Even basic questions were confusing, like who would pay for dinner: should one of us treat the other, or should we just go Dutch? Should we open doors for each other, or could that come across the wrong way?

I almost felt like we should discuss it beforehand, but I also felt like that could be weird. Then again, Chad was just as new at this as I was, so I wasn't sure he had the answers either. Eventually I just quit worrying about it, and I decided we'd cross those bridges when we got there.

In the meantime, I did want to put my best foot forward. After my last class of the day, I headed back to my apartment, and I rummaged through my closet to pick out my outfit for the night. Then I stripped down and stepped in the shower.

I probably didn't need another shower, but I didn't want to leave anything to chance. I also needed to relax, and I knew it helped to jerk off before a date. After all, I'd spent the whole day thinking of Chad, so my hormones were already raging. I didn't want my horniness to get the best of me, at least not in front of him.

I didn't turn on the water at first. I just sat in the tub, spread my legs, and started playing with myself. I was already oozing pre-cum, which I smeared all over my cockhead. I ran my free hand down my chest, then made my way across my hips and thighs.

I gripped my cock as hard as I could. I kept thinking of Chad's ass, and how tight it could squeeze me. Finally I threw my head back and started pounding away. I could already feel my balls start to boil, and I couldn't help letting off a groan.

My mind was swimming with all the things Chad and I could start doing now. If all went well, we could both get practically unlimited dick: we could have quickies between classes, or we could spend whole nights having marathon fuck sessions. We could lie in bed and cuddle, or exchange pillow talk, or do whatever else we felt like. It seemed like the sky was the limit, at least in my mind.

It only took a few seconds before I got off. "Oh shit," I said as my body went rigid, and my jizz splattered all over the tub.

I just sat there for a minute. After I caught my breath, I got up and turned on the water. I cleaned myself up and stepped out of the shower. Finally I dressed, combed my hair, and sprayed some cologne. Then I waited.

 

[briacon429]

Chad showed up right when he'd promised, at seven o'clock. He'd apparently cleaned up too: he was wearing a dress shirt, which struck me as a little out of character, but it looked good on him.

As it turned out, our dinner was totally casual. Giulia's was showing the Padres game, so we just watched it over pizza. I wasn't a huge baseball fan, and neither was Chad, but he felt duty-bound to root for his home team. The Padres were playing the Pirates that night, though it wasn't much of a fight; the Padres led for practically the whole game, and they eventually won 3-1. Chad told me this was unusual, since they didn't have a great record, so he'd take those wins whenever he could get them.

Chad did pick up the tab, but apart from that, we acted like we were just hanging out. There was no flirting or innuendo or anything like that. I figured anybody watching us would've assumed we were buddies. Maybe they could've pegged us as frat brothers, but that was as far as it went.

After we left Giulia's, that was when the real fun began. We'd barely made it to the car when our faces slammed together: Chad's tongue went right in my mouth, and my lips sucked on his. "I couldn't stop thinking of you all day," he whispered between kisses.

"The feeling's mutual," I said. I was leaning over the gearshift, which was kind of uncomfortable, but I didn't give a shit. "I want to just fuck you right here."

"Mmm... that'd be hot...."

I reached down for his crotch, and I fondled him through his clothes. He was every bit as hard as I was. "You know," I said, "I get excited every time I think of this bad boy."

Chad returned the favor and stuck his hand down my pants. But before we could go any further, a light came on right outside. We both looked over our shoulders.

"Shit," I said. "Let's get out of here."

"Hell yeah," he said. Without missing a beat, he pulled his hand away, put on his seatbelt, and pealed off down the street.

We were going so fast that I was afraid of hitting something. I practically had to hang on for dear life. I kept watching for cops, because I didn't want to have to explain what we were doing. But my heart was also pounding with excitement. I couldn't take my hands off Chad. I undid his fly and felt his bare cock.

"Oh fuck!" he yelled as he turned into a side street, pulled over, and skidded to a stop. Then, before I could react, Chad creamed his pants. His cum splattered all over my hand and soaked into his clothes.

I jumped with surprise. I couldn't believe he'd gotten off so fast. "Holy shit," was all I could say.

Chad let out a deep breath. "Woah," he said, "and that's after I'd already jerked off beforehand."

I licked my lips. "You beat off too?"

"Yeah." He grinned. "At the gym."

"W-wait a minute. What?"

"It's okay," he said. "I didn't do it in front of anyone. I was in one of the stalls."

I didn't know how to react to that. I was a little jealous, but I had to admit it kind of turned me on. "What if somebody caught you?"

"That wouldn't have happened... not unless I wanted it to. And there's only one person I'd want to have catch me." He put his hand on my cheek, and he moved in for a kiss.

I wasn't about to resist, so I moved forward to meet him, and we started making out. "So," I whispered between kisses, "is this a regular thing for you? Jerking off in public?"

"Dude," he said, "I couldn't resist. Not today. Knowing I was going to see you--"

"Neither could I," I said, "except I did it at home. By myself."

"Well, remember when we first met? Between those bullshit showers and the Kap Eps, that was a lot of exhibitionism right there, and I didn't exactly hear you complaining."

I couldn't argue with that. I just kept sucking his face. "You always know what to say to me...."

"I try," he said as he ran his hands down my back.

"I gotta admit," I said, "the idea of you whacking your walrus like that, especially at the gym... that's really fucking hot...."

"Maybe one of these days you should come in and join me."

"Oh fuck yeah," I said. I was so horny that I was afraid of shooting my wad too. Locker room porn had gotten to be a huge turn-on for me, especially considering my fetish for group sex. The idea of doing that myself-- or, rather, with Chad-- was almost too much for me to handle.

Chad turned around and looked out the windows. The street around us was quiet and dark. Then he undid his seat belt and climbed to the back seat. "C'mere," he said.

I couldn't respond fast enough. I got up from my seat and climbed toward him. But before I could get into position, Chad pulled my pants and undies down to my ankles. Then he took my cock in his hands and started playing with it.

Chad leaned in and started sucking my balls. He ran his tongue up my shaft, then moved up to my face and made out with me. Then he gripped my dick and started jacking me off.

I loved the feeling of his strong hands on my pole. I grabbed the handles above the car doors, and I threw my head back. "Oh shit," I said.

Chad nibbled on my lip. "You like that?"

I just nodded. I enjoyed the ride for about a minute, but that was as long as I lasted. My whole package started to tighten up, so I knew I was passing the point of no return. "I'm about to cum," I said.

"Go ahead," he whispered. Then he kissed me again.

I tried to hold off for as long as I could. But within a few seconds, my body just couldn't hold back. "Fuck yeah," I said as I felt the tingling sensation overtake my dick. Then I finally blew my load.

Chad caught most of my cum with his free hand. He kept stroking me at first, then slowed down and finally stopped. "That's what I'm talking about," he said.

The two of us shared a nice long kiss. I savored the taste of Chad's tongue against mine. "That felt so good," I said.

Chad put his clean hand on my balls. "You got some more reserves in there?"

I grinned. "For you, baby?"

"That's my boy," he said. "Now lie down."

I wasn't sure what Chad was after. But I followed his instructions, and I got down on the seat.

"Now," he said, "you really need to fuck me." He stripped off the rest of his clothes. Then he reached behind himself with his cum-covered hand, and he used my juices to lube up his hole. Finally he looked down at my cock, and he started playing with it. "I can't wait to have that in me."

Those words were music to my ears. "Then take it," I said.

Chad nodded, then climbed on top of me. He looked right into my eyes, then slowly lowered himself onto my cock.

I could feel Chad's fuckring move down my shaft. The sensation was weird at first-- I was super-sensitive from having just gotten off-- but then my member made himself at home.

Finally Chad rested his weight on my pubes. "That's what I'm talking about," he said as he gyrated his hips.

This time felt totally different from the sex we'd had before. It wasn't just the fact that we were doing it in the car. Everything about it was more intimate: after all, Chad was my boyfriend now, and I was his. When we made out, it was so much more tender than before, yet it was also more intense, even more so than the actual sex.

I wasn't sure if we were officially making love, partly because we'd never used that word with each other. But one way or another, we were in uncharted territory. We were both working up a sweat; the night was already humid to begin with, so within a minute or two, the car windows were starting to steam up.

"I'm all yours baby," I whispered in his ear.

Chad seemed to relish those words. I could feel his ass getting tighter as I fucked him. "Call me that again," he said.

"Oh baby...." It felt like second nature to call him that, as if I'd been doing it for years. I almost didn't want to use his real name anymore.

He leaned down and kissed me again. "Put your arms around me," he said.

The seat was so cramped that it was hard for me to move. But somehow I made it work. Our limbs went every which way, to the point that our bodies were completely tangled together. "God baby," I gasped as I pistoned into him, faster and faster. Then, finally, my cum started shooting again.

"Oh fuck yeah," he said. Chad's body shuddered, and a second later, his cock practically exploded. Globs of cum went shooting between us.

I kept thrusting for a little bit longer. Then Chad collapsed onto me and tried to catch his breath. His forehead was glistening, and a few strands of hair had stuck to his skin. I held his body like my life depended on it. His chest moved with every breath, and I could feel his heart beating. My own body felt blissful and serene. I had to admit I'd never felt like this before, and I didn't know what to make of it.

"Next time," he finally said, "we should do it at your place."

I put his hand on his ass. "As long as we can get there in time."

Chad didn't say anything. He just nodded and grinned.

At that point, it felt like we didn't have any cares in the world. I knew dating Chad would be an experience, so I was anxious to see what the future would hold. But even then, I didn't expect what the next few days had in store.

 

[zeke357az]

This is AMAZING!

 

[GaySexSearch]

Kik hansoo19

M23 gay
I'd like to rate your dick for you and Tell you all the good things about your meat

 

[briacon429]

The first week of the semester was as crazy as could be. It wasn't enough that I was juggling my new classes, settling into my new apartment, and all that other stuff that I'd expected to do. Now, on top of all that, I was setting out on a new relationship— and that was the part that terrified me the most.

I still hadn't gotten used to the word "boyfriend". Chad and I had only used it a few times, and only in private. The sound of it still seemed weird to me. That one word acknowledged we were gay, and that we had feelings for each other, and that we were having sex— none of which we wanted anyone else to know.

Oddly enough, that same word could also make my heart skip a beat. Now that I'd admitted how I felt about Chad, I had a hard time keeping those emotions in check. It was a lot like when I'd let myself admit I liked boys, and the way it had unlocked urges I'd never realized I had. Now I found myself obsessing over Chad, wanting to be with him at all hours, and getting excited whenever I was about to see him.

I wish I could say I was on cloud nine, but it was never that simple. Reality kept intruding on our little world. One day I had a run-in with a pain-in-the-ass professor, and I worried she'd keep torturing me for the rest of the semester. Chad and I also stressed about the Kap Eps; although we both liked those guys, we didn't like having to cover up the truth. Even family phone calls were tricky, since there was so much we couldn't say.

The most complicated day of all came that weekend, when Chad and I went in for our HIV tests. We made doubly sure no one would see us: we drove to the county health department, which was on the other side of town, and we tried to time it so that no one else would be there.

The clinic was in a crappy little building, surrounded by sketchy neighborhoods on all sides. Most of the other patients were poor, and I assumed they couldn't afford to go anywhere else. I felt a little guilty about that, considering we were just there for the anonymity. But I figured the place was a public service, so there was nothing wrong with us using it too.

The most awkward part was when a crotchety nurse took me into a room, and she made me give her my sexual history. The lady went through her checklist like a robot. "Have you been diagnosed with any STD in the past six months?"

"Never."

"How many sex partners have you had in the past year?"

"A few," I said. "I, well... I haven't kept count."

"Were any of them anonymous?"

I cringed but tried to hide it. "Yes...."

The nurse peered over her glasses. "Was any of that sex unprotected?"

"With my boyfriend," I said. The words came out so quickly, I barely realized I'd just come out to her. The nurse didn't seem to notice.

"When was the last time?"

"For unprotected sex?" I asked. "Well, last night I guess—"

"So with anyone else, what kind of protection did you use?"

"Condoms."

"And when was the last time for that?"

I didn't want to answer, but I forced myself to say the words. "About two weeks ago," I said, "I-I mean, my boyfriend and I just started dating."

"Did any of those condoms break?"

"W-well once, at least that I know of—"

"Were you the receptive partner in any of that?"

"You mean was I bottoming?" I asked. "Yeah, I mean, sometimes...."

"Have you taken any kind of pre- or post-exposure prophylaxis, like Truvada?"

I took a deep breath. "No."

"Okay then," she said, "now let me see your arm."

I did as I was told, and she took a vial of blood. Then the nurse left the room, and I sat there by myself.

I pulled out my phone and texted Chad. Any news? I wrote.

Yeah, he wrote back. Mine was negative.

I hadn't expected anything else, but I still felt relieved. Cool, I wrote. Still waiting on mine.

Eventually the nurse came back in the room. "All right kid," she said, "I have good news and bad news."

I felt a pang of anxiety. "Okay...."

"The good news is, you tested negative. But the bad news is, with your history, you're at pretty high risk. You'll need to be tested again to be sure."

"I— what?"

"HIV takes a while to show up on tests," she said. "If you were exposed two weeks ago, it's too early to tell. These tests really measure your immune system's response. If you do get infected, it takes about a month for the antibodies to show up in your blood. Which is why you'll need to get another test later."

I swallowed. I remembered learning about this stuff in health class, but I'd never thought I'd need to deal with it myself. "W-what about that PrEP stuff? Truvada?"

"It's too late for that," she said. "It only works if you take it beforehand, otherwise it's like putting on a condom after you finished. There's another treatment, basically a morning-after pill, but you have to start it within 72 hours. So at the stage you're at, your ship has sailed. All you can do is wait and hope for the best."

"Shit," I said. "B-but if I did get it... I mean, it's not the 80's anymore. HIV isn't deadly now, is it?"

"Humph," she said. "Tell that to the million people a year who still die from it. I mean yeah, HIV is treatable now; so with good enough care, you can still live a normal life. But it's no joke. You have to watch yourself each and every day, and it's not cheap either. Just the medications cost thousands of dollars a year. So no: if you think it's something to trifle with, you've got another thing coming."

I tried to wrap my mind around what I'd just heard. "Y-you're saying I won't know for a month? Or more?"

"Well," she said, "you could always try a Nucleic Acid Test. It's not part of our free testing, but it tests for the actual virus, which means it picks it up a lot sooner. So if you want the peace of mind—"

"Yeah I do," I said without thinking. "Can I get it today?"

"Nope," she said. "You'll need to set a follow-up appointment. In your situation, I'd say come back in ten days." She got up, stuffed her chart notes under her arm, and fiddled with her glasses. "And do yourself a favor, kid: stay safe from here on out."

I didn't say a word as she sent me on my way. Ten days still seemed like a long time, but I thought I could live with it. At least it was better than the alternative.

The drive home, though, felt like it would never end. Chad and I spent most of it in silence. I was so queasy that I wanted to throw up. I kept imagining the worst, and I thought of all the ways this could fuck up my life.

The ironic part was that I'd started to understand why I'd slept around. When Chad and I were apart, I'd kept trying to get what I needed from somebody else. But no matter how hard I'd tried, none of my hookups could've really hit the spot. The result was that I'd now put Chad at risk, and I hated myself for that.

"I dunno," Chad finally said, "I'm hoping she just laid it on too thick. I mean, it can't really be that bad, can it?"

I sighed. "Hell if I know," I said. "I mean, if I got myself infected, that'd be my fault not yours. It's just... I guess with the barebacking we've been doing—"

"Don't blame yourself," he said. "You warned me and everything, and you were going to wear a condom, and I was the one who said no—"

"I just don't want anything to happen to you."

Chad turned to me for a second, then looked back at the road. "Listen," he said, "I know I said I didn't want details— about this summer, I mean— but I think I changed my mind."

Oh shit, I thought. I braced myself for what might come next.

"Just tell me what happened."

My voice caught in my throat. I couldn't tell if I'd gone white with fear, or red with embarrassment, or an unholy combination of both. "W-well," I said, "I made a few trips to Boystown... and I was on Grindr."

"Grindr?" he asked. "Like the hookup app?"

"I mean, there's more to it than that—"

"How does that even work?"

I frowned. That wasn't the reaction I expected. "What?"

"I don't know the first thing about that shit," he said. "I mean, Marcos taught me a lot, but not that."

"W-well you gotta understand, I've deleted it now—"

"Why?"

"Because I didn't need it anymore," I said, "or even want it. Not after you said you'd be my boyfriend."

Chad pulled up to my apartment, and he put his car in park. He chewed his lip for a second, then looked over at me. "Look," he said, "I never expected you to be perfect. At least not like that. I-I mean, I guess it's partly my doing. If it hadn't been for my bullshit this summer—"

"You don't need to make excuses for me."

"I'm not," he said. "I never said I was happy about it. But you didn't kill me for what I did... and I guess, well, it goes both ways." He took a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say is: I don't know how I feel about this. I guess I probably won't know for a while. But I do want to know everything about you. I want to see all the parts of you that nobody else gets to see."

"What?"

"You scare the shit out of me, Scott. You always have. But not in the usual way. It's more like you're turning my life upside down, and I don't know what the fuck to do about it. Why do you think I freaked out on you that one time?"

I didn't know how to respond to that. I just blinked.

"And the fact that I couldn't walk away from you, or even stop thinking about you, even after months of trying... well, if I can't fight it, then I at least need to know what I'm in for."

I tried to come up with an answer, but I couldn't. "I-I don't really know either," I said.

"Well," he said, "you can start by showing me what you were up to this summer."

I really didn't want to go there. I was so confused and conflicted that I didn't know what to do. But I knew I'd have to find a way. "Okay," I finally said, "if you really want to see, come inside."

With that, Chad followed me into my apartment. My phone took a few minutes to re-install Grindr, and once it was done, I handed it to Chad.

"Okay," I said. "So this screen here is the grid. All these guys show up based on how far away they are. If you want to see details, just tap on their picture. If you want to see their full profile, swipe up. Then you can message them if you want."

Chad frowned. He scrolled through the grid, and he looked at some of the profiles. "That's a lot of dudes," he said.

"And that's just the tip of the iceberg," I said. "This is just the free version. The pay version apparently lets you see more, although it's not like we need it—"

"I recognize this guy," he said as he swiped up. "I've seen him on campus."

The profile showed a curly-haired guy, who called himself O'Mac. He'd apparently been online 50 minutes before, and he was 1200 feet away. He said he was looking for relationships and friendship.

"That's cool," I said. "Do you think he's hot?"

Chad seemed about to say yes, but then he stopped himself. "He's not bad looking," he said.

"Anyway, here's the chat screen," I said. I tapped on the icon, but it just took me to a blank screen. "Shit...."

"What?"

"Apparently my old chats got deleted." I swallowed hard. "I'd totally show you if I could...."

Suddenly a message came through. It came from someone called DTF, and it was just a single word: Hey!

Chad snorted. "Somebody wants you."

"You know I'm not interested."

"You better not be," he said as put my phone down, and he moved in to kiss me. We made out for a minute; then he turned and whispered in my ear: "I just want you to be with me. And nobody else."

I was caught a little off guard, since I hadn't expected him talk to me that way. But I had to admit it was music to my ears. "Same here," was all I could say.

"So do I need to kick that guy's ass?"

"What?"

He pointed at my phone, where a few more messages had come through. "I don't want anyone making eyes at my man."

By now we were both hard, and we were fumbling around on the bed. Chad kissed my neck and made his way up to my earlobe. My nerves started going crazy. "I want to have sex with you so bad," I said. "I-I mean, I know we probably shouldn't, not till the other tests come back or whatever—"

"Sh," he said as he wrapped his arms around me.

"W-well, I don't want to risk anything, I mean any more than I already have—"

"You don't need to," he said. "We'll just need to get creative."

"What do you mean?"

"I have an idea."

"What?"

"Wait here," he said as he pulled away from me. Then he turned and headed outside.

I frowned as I tried to figure out what he was doing. I looked outside and saw Chad closing the trunk of his car. He held a plain brown box in his hands. He hurried back inside and closed the door behind him.

"I was going to give you this anyway," he said, "now that we're officially together."

I didn't know what to say to that. "What?"

"If you want, you can call it a surprise for our one-week anniversary."

I took the box in my hands. I couldn't help feeling a little embarrassed. I wasn't expecting any surprise— though I knew that was the point— and I'd never thought to get Chad anything. I was very much still getting the hang of this relationship stuff. "Now you don't need to get sentimental on me—"

"I don't think you'll call it sentimental," he said, "not when you see what it is."

Those words had me intrigued. I frowned, pulled off the tape, and opened the box. Inside was a vibrator complete with a remote control.

"It's supposed to feel really good," he said. "So if you're craving something inside you—"

"It's awesome," I said, and I gave him another kiss. I felt like I was being drawn to him by an irresistible force; the more shit I went through, the more I felt like I needed him.

Chad responded in kind: he started fumbling with my clothes, and he stripped off my shirt. I tossed his sunglasses aside, but before I could do any more, he yanked down my shorts and my underwear. "If you're going to be a slut, you'd better be my slut," he said. "Now bend over."

I followed his orders as quickly as I could, though I wasn't sure what to expect.

"I'm not going to fuck you," he said, "not tonight at least. But I'm gonna get you nice and ready for what you're about to get."

"Okay," was all I could say.

 

[briacon429]

Chad dove between my legs, and I felt his lips on my taint. He flicked his tongue against my skin, just enough to tease me, and he made his way toward my boyhole. Then he smacked my butt cheeks. "You've got the perfect ass," he said. "Such a tight juicy ass...."

"Fucking eat it," I said. "Have your way with it."

Chad shoved his face in my crack, and he started eating away. I couldn't tell what he was doing with his lips, exactly, or his tongue. All I knew was that it felt great in my crack.

I just closed my eyes and arched my neck. "Oh fuck," I said, "yeah, keep doing that...."

Chad had his mouth full, so he didn't answer. He just kept servicing me as if his life depended on it.

I lowered my voice to a whisper. "How does it taste?"

Chad moved his face about an inch from my ass. "It tastes like you, baby," he said, "and I love it." Then he went back to ravaging me.

I gasped and closed my eyes. "Oh shit," was all I could say.

Chad kept rimming me for another minute or two, then stepped back and stripped off his shirt. He grabbed our lube bottle, then leaned back over me.

I felt something hard against me. At first I assumed it was Chad's dick, but then I felt it go inside me, and I realized it was thinner than what I was used to. I glanced between my legs, and I saw he was fingering my ass.

Chad fucked me with his pointer finger, then pulled it out partway. Then he added his middle finger. He used his free hand to spread my ass open as wide as it would go.

I pressed my body back against him, and I felt his fingers go deeper inside me. "Oh yeah," I said, "go in all the way."

Chad's hand kept sliding further in, and he started exploring the inside of my ass. It only took him a few seconds to find my prostate and start playing with it. My nerves went wild, and feelings of ecstasy rippled through my body. It was the first time my gland had been pleasured like that, and I loved every second of it.

I didn't want to cum too soon, so I pulled away and rolled onto my back. "I want to kiss you," I said.

Chad didn't waste a second. He leaned down, and we started sucking face. I couldn't get enough of the taste of his lips or the smell of his breath. I wanted him more than I'd ever thought possible. I gripped his face with my hands, while Chad pressed the rest of his body against mine.

"Let's get these shorts off you," I finally said.

Chad stepped back, and I undid his fly. I pulled out his cock and gave it a quick suck. It felt like it had been ages since I'd had him in my mouth. I was so ravenous that I had to force myself not to blow him to completion.

After a few seconds, I pulled back and gave him a few tugs. Then I pulled down his shorts and undies the rest of the way. His naked body was so gorgeous, I still couldn't quite believe it was real.

Chad picked up the vibrator. "Are you ready for this?"

"Hell yeah," I said as I leaned back and spread my legs.

Chad pressed the vibrator against my taint; then he ran it in circles around my pucker. I couldn't stand any more teasing, so I reached down and guided it inside me. I felt the head pop in, and then the shaft slid in inch by inch.

The vibrator wasn't as warm as Chad's cock— or as satisfying, for that matter— but I still loved the feeling of it going up my ass. It seemed to fill me up, and it definitely stretched out my sphincter, which was really what I needed.

"Go ahead," Chad said. "I want to watch you fucking yourself."

I looked down at Chad's dick, then glanced over at his hand. He was still holding the vibrator's remote control. "Don't you want to turn it on?" I asked.

"I will eventually," he said. "I promise."

I gazed into Chad's eyes, then started sliding the vibrator in and out of me. The more I did it, the better it started to feel.

"Yeah baby," he said. "That's it."

I wanted to say something back, but somehow I couldn't. I just stared at him while I fucked myself.

"You like that, don't you?"

"Yeah," I said, "but I wish you were the one fucking me—"

"Me too," he said as he leaned in and gave me a kiss. "There'll be plenty of time for that later."

We made out for a minute or two, all while I kept pleasuring my ass. The vibrator's shaft was just a little bit ribbed, so I felt each of the ridges pop past my fuckring.

Then, without any warning, Chad flipped the switch. I felt the vibrator shake against my prostate, and a jolt of electricity shot through me. "Oh shit!" was all I could say. My whole body started going into spasms. I could barely help myself as I flopped all over the bed.

"Yeah," Chad said. "That's so fucking hot...."

"Oh God," I said as I tried to control my body. The waves of pleasure were too much; I just couldn't resist what my muscles were doing.

"Okay baby," Chad said as he turned the vibrator off. "If you don't want it on, we don't need it."

"I didn't say that," I replied. I let out a deep breath. "That was so fucking good—"

"Are you saying you want more?"

"Baby," I said, "I want more than you can ever imagine."

He flipped the switch again, and the vibrator came back on. My thighs convulsed, and my legs flew into the air. I got a grip on most of my body, but my ass kept quivering, and I couldn't get it to stop.

"Fuck!" I yelled. I kept waiting for the shaking to stop, but Chad wouldn't turn it off.

"That's so hot," he said as he started stroking himself.

The vibrator felt incredible, but the spectacle in front of me was even better. I couldn't get over the sight of Chad jacking off, despite all the times I'd seen it before. He still looked indescribably hot, with his practically flawless body, his rock-hard cock, and the look of desire on his face. He beat himself faster and faster, while I soaked in the view. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. "Oh shit!" I yelled as I busted my nut.

Chad didn't miss a beat. "Oh yeah...."

I was still trying to catch my breath. I hadn't touched myself the whole time. "Don't bust yet," I whispered.

"What?"

I reached for his remote. I turned the vibrator off, then pulled it out of my ass. "I want to watch you ride this," I said.

"Are you sure?"

"Trust me," I said, "you won't regret it." I applied some fresh lube, then made Chad get up. Then I pointed the vibrator straight up, and slowly but surely, Chad lowered himself onto it.

"Oh shit," he said. "That does feel good...."

"I want to do to you what you did to me." I started kissing him, and I guided his hand toward his hole. "Go ahead: start fucking your ass."

Chad did as he was told. The vibrator had already disappeared inside him, but he pulled it back out. He teased his own hole for a second, then slid the vibrator back in, and the cycle repeated itself a couple more times.

I could've watched him all day. I'd never seen Chad violate his own ass like that, but it was so fucking sexy, I couldn't take my eyes off it. I gripped the remote, and I waited for just the right moment till I suddenly flipped the switch.

"Omigod!" he yelled as he fell flat on the bed, and his body went into contortions. He gripped the headboard and tried to control himself.

"Take it, baby," I said as I leaned in to kiss him. Chad could barely reciprocate. He just laid there with his jaw open, while I ran my tongue around his mouth. Then I nibbled on his lower lip, till finally we started making out.

Chad let out a loud groan, and before I could react, I felt his warm jizz hit my face. At least two shots splashed against my cheek; then I looked down and saw the rest of his cum splattered on his stomach.

"That didn't take you long," I said as I turned the vibrator off.

"Oh fuck yeah," he said. "I can't feel my legs...."

"Isn't that the idea?"

Chad just laughed. He pulled the vibrator out, then tossed it aside. Finally he put his arms around me and pulled me as close as he could. "Well," he said, "if we can keep doing that for ten days, it'll sure make that time go by faster."

I licked my lips. "Well," I said, "I guess that's a present for both of us."

 

[briacon429]

Chad and I loved the vibrator so much that we started looking for other toys to play with. I was tempted to go to an actual sex shop, but we didn't know of any nearby, and we didn't want to be found out. So we did the next-best thing, and we went shopping online.

We found most of the online sex shops were straight, like Liberator, Lover's Lane, or Adam & Eve. But there were also a few gay ones like Adonis, Boyzshop, or MaleQ. Some of them had reviews and blog posts and other kinds of tools, which helped us figure out what we wanted.

We debated the different models of Fleshjacks-- and other masturbators, for that matter-- and whether enemas were really a good idea. We also weighed the pros and cons of butt plugs versus beads versus prostate massagers.

The most enticing toys of all were the custom dildo kits. I'd never heard of make-your-own-dildos, but the idea sounded awesome. I remembered Flynn's cam show, in which he'd fucked himself with a dildo of his own cock. I loved the idea of having a dildo of Chad-- or, for that matter, Chad having a dildo of me.

I was still too nervous to buy anything, partly because I didn't want it on my credit card statement. But Chad was downright fearless. He picked out a bunch of stuff we wanted, put it of his card, and placed the order.

I was glad to see him so enthusiastic. It helped calm some of the fears that had been gnawing at me. I was all too aware that Chad hadn't been with any other guy. Now that he knew he liked man sex, I was determined to keep him happy in every way I could. I didn't want him getting tempted by Grindr or anything else. I definitely didn't want him eyeing boys in the gym, or on the Row. I'd never thought of myself as the jealous type, but now I found myself getting more and more protective.

We still couldn't properly bareback, at least in good conscience, but we found plenty of other ways to get off. It was surprisingly erotic to play with each other's bodies without going all the way. We got totally into swordfighting and frottage; I'd never realized how big of a turn-on they could be, but now it drove me wild to rub my dick against Chad's.

We also went back to doing sixty-nines, which were just as sexy as I'd remembered them. I especially loved lying on my back while Chad crouched over me, so his hard cock hung right above my face. We also tried other positions in more detail, like Adam's ecstasy, teabagging, and the dirty trombone.

That last position was the hottest of all. I would crouch on all fours, with Chad's face buried in my crack. He would always start by rimming me, which felt as amazing as ever. Then he'd start licking my balls. He would angle himself so that his nose pressed against my hole, which I'd thought would feel awkward but actually felt really good. Then he always stroked my shaft with his hands. He basically serviced my whole nether region, which totally put me over the moon.

When it came time to shoot, we always came on each other. We did enjoy mixing up our positions, so sometimes I finished on Chad's ass, or at least his lower back. Other times I jizzed on his chest.

Chad liked to give me a pearl necklace, and I liked it too; it reminded me of our first time having sex. He also liked to give me facials, which I was not about to resist. I loved the way he would kneel over me and stroke himself to completion. I always watched his balls jiggle, just inches from my face, till they inevitably contracted.

I never knew where his juices would hit me, but to be honest, I didn't really care. Chad had pretty good aim, but even he would sometimes lose control. Sometimes I'd just feel a spurt against my forehead; other times he'd shoot all over my cheeks. A few times his seed even got in my hair.

My favorite was the time I felt warm goo all over my face, and I opened my eyes to the sight of cum dripping off my eyebrow. I had to wipe my eyes and mouth before I could marvel at the spent cock before me.

Even so, there was still no substitute for proper anal sex. As much as we were enjoying ourselves, we still had our share of problems hanging over our heads. I tried to pretend everything was cool, and Chad did too, but we both knew the shit could hit the fan at any moment.

We kept counting down the days till our HIV re-test, and when the big day rolled around, I was practically a bundle of nerves. This time the experience was totally different from before. We asked to get our blood drawn together, and the clinic agreed. I guess we were leaning on each other for support. I thought of my friends who'd gone through pregnancy scares, and I imagined this was what it must've felt like.

I was annoyed when they told us they'd send our samples to a lab. I'd assumed we'd get our results right away, the same as last time, and I felt like we'd already waited long enough. But the staff said there was nothing they could do; this test was so advanced that only a few places could do it. I was tempted to argue with them, but I decided there wasn't much point.

We'd just gotten back from the clinic when Chad's phone rang. As soon as he picked it up, I noticed a weird expression on his face. "Yeah?" he asked.

I tried to figure out what the call was about. I didn't think it was the clinic calling, but whoever it was, it didn't sound good.

"What are you talking about?" Chad was saying. Then he put his hand to his head, and he listened for a minute. "Yeah, I get that," he eventually mumbled. "But seriously, I never asked for that."

I tried to signal to him, asking what was wrong, but Chad waved me away.

"Look, this isn't a good time." At first I thought Chad was talking to me, but then I realized he wasn't. "Can we talk about this later? Like maybe tomorrow? I need to digest all this anyway." He listened for a minute longer, then took a deep breath. "Stop it," he said. "I'll be fine... okay yeah. Keep me posted." Then he hung up.

An awkward silence hung over us, till I eventually spoke up. "What was that about?"

Chad didn't make eye contact. He just stared straight ahead. "Don't worry about it."

"You can tell me."

"Dude--"

"Isn't that what this relationship stuff is about?" I asked. "Taking care of each other?"

"Look," he said. "Maybe we can talk about it later. I just...." His voice trailed off, and he swallowed hard. "I can only deal with so much shit at one time."

I wanted to press the issue, but we didn't have much time to dwell on it. We knew we'd have to spend most of that weekend with the Kap Eps: it was the first football game of the season, and we were playing BSU, our big rival.

Practically everyone on campus was tailgating, so our fraternity was practically duty-bound to throw a big party. Since Chad and I were still newbies-- along with Ryan, Marcos, and Brody-- we still had to do the grunt work. I, for one, was getting tired of that shit. I couldn't wait for the next round of pledges, so we could pawn it off on them.

Throughout that whole time, I could tell Chad was distracted. I hated being so close to him yet not being able to touch him, or even really talk to him. I would've done anything to make him feel better, but I knew any slip-up could give us away. So I just acted like one of the boys, and I kept my real feelings bottled up.

We ended up scoring a last-minute touchdown to beat BSU 34-33. It only took a few moments before the Row started flooding with people. A lot of dudes were shirtless with body paint on their chests. A good number were already drunk.

Plenty of girls were stumbling around too. Most of the sororities didn't host their own parties, so they relied on fraternities like ours. For straight guys like Luke or Brody, I'm sure it was heaven. They practically had a buffet of hot chicks to choose from, and they could pretty much fuck whoever they wanted.

I couldn't help feeling a little jealous. I kept watching Ryan and Marcos, who seemed to have nothing to hide. They weren't lovey-dovey or anything, but their body language spoke for itself. Those boys were obviously comfortable around each other, and they didn't seem to care if anyone knew it. Ryan kept asking Marcos if he wanted food, or if he needed anything else. Marcos, in turn, kept whispering into Ryan's ear; and I could only imagine what those whispers were about. I wished Chad and I could act like that in public, but at that point it seemed like an unattainable dream.

"You know," Luke said, "we should keep an eye on the freshmen showing up. Rush Week will be here before you know it."

I nodded. "Are we doing the same stuff as last semester?"

"Hell yeah," he said. "All that stuff is tradition. We've done it for years."

I had to force himself to keep a straight face. On the inside, I could feel my hormones start to flow. I thought of the freshman boys Chad and I would get to see prance around naked, jerking off and maybe even having sex. "That's cool," was all I could think to say.

I was horny for at least the next hour. I did my best to hide my boner, and I forced myself to keep biting my lip. But I could still feel the testosterone coursing through my veins. The more I tried to fight it, the more I started to fantasize. I kept imagining Chad's cock down my throat, and the warm tight feeling of my dick in his ass. I thought of all the things I wanted to do to him, and the things I wanted him to do to me. I seriously considered heading to the bathroom to beat myself off, but I decided against it.

I was hanging out in the kitchen, nursing a beer, when Kaylee walked up to me. I could tell she'd already put down a few: her speech was slurred, and her head was swaying. "H-hey Scott," she said.

Oh hell, I thought. Not her again. "Hey," was the only response I could muster.

"You know, I, uh... I haven't seen you in forever."

I shrugged. "I've been busy."

"Doing what?" she asked. Then she took a step toward me. "Or who?"

I felt my body tense up. I tried to find a way to make a graceful exit, but she pretty much had me cornered. "W-what do you mean?"

"Well," she said, "you must have a lot of girls after you."

I wasn't sure how to respond. I just sipped my beer.

Kaylee still kept going. "Is it true what I hear about that futon downstairs?"

"I-I don't know what you heard--"

"That's where you bring all the girls, isn't it?" She gulped down a drink. "Although I gotta say, I've never been there myself...."

"Christ, take a hint," Chad said as he appeared out of nowhere. "He's not interested."

"What?"

"I mean, what the fuck?" he said. "You already have a boyfriend."

"Since when is that your problem?"

"Don't be starting shit around here--"

"Whatever," she said. "I'm getting another drink."

"You've had enough." Chad stood in front of the counter, blocking her path.

"What?" Kaylee said. "You fucking asshole. Who you think you are?"

Chad sneered. "I'm a Kap Ep, and you're not," he said. "You're at my party, in my house, drinking the booze I laid out for you. So yeah, you've got to play by my rules."

Kaylee turned to the rest of us. "Are you going to let him talk to me like that?"

None of us answered. We just looked at each other. Brody and a few others walked up, apparently wanting to know what the commotion was.

Chad took Kaylee's arm. "You need to go," he said.

"Are you kicking me out?"

"You're drunk," he said.

Kaylee scoffed. "Fucking asshole!"

Chad didn't answer. He just pulled her toward the exit. Kaylee kept swearing and struggling, but Chad was having none of it. The other Kap Eps just stood there and watched.

I watched them disappear into the crowd. Then I looked back at the others. No one said a word. We all seemed to be trying to figure out what just happened.

"All right," Brody eventually said, "show's over." And he went to get another drink.

I tried to gauge the others' reactions. Most of the guys just shrugged and walked away.

Marcos was a notable exception. He waited till the others were out of earshot. Then he leaned into me and lowered his voice. "You know, Chad really likes you."

I didn't know how to react. "W-what?"

"Don't play stupid," he said. "He said he came out to you too."

I wasn't sure what to make of that. I thought of what Chad had promised me, especially the part about not telling anyone, and I tried to gauge if he'd kept his word. "Well, I mean yeah I guess--"

"I can see how he looks at you," he said, "and how he talks about you."

"What do you mean, how he talks about me?"

Marcos shrugged. "He tries to make it sound like you're just a friend, but I know better. He's not the first guy I've seen try to figure this shit out."

I didn't like where he was going with this. I wasn't ready to come out to my friends, and I definitely didn't want to tell them about Chad and me. I just got up, made a lame excuse, and headed out to the patio.

A bunch of freshmen were passing around a joint. I was tempted to join them, but I didn't need to be more anxious or horny than I already was. So I just put on a good face and hung out there for a while.

I talked to a guy named Drew, who said he was thinking of rushing. I had to watch what I said to him, especially since our initiation was supposed to be secret. It was hard to tell if he'd heard the rumors, or if he knew what he might be in for. Be that as it may, I was quietly sizing him up. I imagined what he'd look like naked, and how he'd do playing cum-on-a-cookie.

I ended up getting pretty drunk, but Chad got downright wasted. Sometime after midnight, when the house was clearing out, he went stumbling up the stairs. He did make it to the top, but then he fell against the wall, and he collapsed on the floor.

"Dude," I said, "are you all right?"

Chad didn't answer. He looked like he was about to throw up.

As buzzed as I was, I knew I couldn't leave him there. "All right, c'mere," I said, and I helped him to his feet. I guided him into the bathroom, one step at a time.

As soon as we got inside, Chad lost his balance again, and he fell into the tub. His head swayed from side to side, but his eyes were blank. Then he heaved and puked all over himself.

I was totally disgusted, but I forced myself to focus. I pulled off his soiled clothes, and he barely reacted. His whole body was as limp as a rag doll. Then, without any warning, he started to piss himself.

"Oh for fuck's sake," I said. At least he wasn't making more mess; since he was already in the tub, his piss just flowed down the drain. But I was so grossed out that I was close to throwing up myself.

I pulled off Chad's underwear, which was the last thing he was still wearing. Then I threw his clothes in a plastic bag, and I tied the bag shut. I wanted to yell at him, but I knew he was too trashed to hear it, and I was more worried than anything else. Chad was obviously in no shape to be left by himself. So I just sat in the bathroom, next to my naked vomit-streaked piss-soaked boyfriend, and I waited for him to sober up.

Eventually he started to come to, so I rinsed him down in the shower, toweled him off, and helped him back to his room. It was the first time all night we'd had a moment to ourselves.

I tucked him into bed, as if he was a kid. I was tempted to climb in myself, but I decided I shouldn't push my luck. I looked around to make sure no one could see us. Then I bent down and gave him a kiss. He never even reacted; he already seemed fast asleep. I looked at him a minute longer, then left the room and closed the door behind me.

I could've gone home at that point, but I still wanted to keep an eye on Chad. So I did the next-best thing, which was to crash on a couch.

The next morning was basically a blur. I was in better shape than the other guys, but Chad flat-out looked like shit. I could tell he felt like it too, because he spent the whole morning in bed. I checked on him a couple times, but it wasn't till midday that he seemed able to talk.

"Ugh," he said as he put a pillow over his face. "I am never drinking ever again."

I nodded. "It's all right," I said. "I can get you some water. And aspirin."

"You don't have to do that--"

"I want to."

Chad peeked out from under the pillow. "Thanks baby."

Those words made my heart skip a beat. I made sure the door was closed behind us, then sat down on his bed. "You know, technically that was the first time I spent the night at your place."

"Aw shit...."

"It's okay," I said. "I mean, there's always next time...." I put my hand on his chest. "I mostly just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Yeah, well...." Chad pushed the pillow off his face. "That call yesterday, I mean the one you asked me about... it was from my mom."

I knew I had to tread lightly with this. "Yeah?"

Chad sighed. "Apparently she gave my dad an ultimatum... I mean, I don't think she's comfortable with this gay shit either, or at least she wasn't at first. But apparently she told him to support me or else."

"What do you mean, 'or else?'"

"I don't know. That's what I'm trying to figure out. W-well, I only heard her side of the story, but apparently she said I was their son, and he needed to support me no matter how he felt... whatever the hell that means." He swallowed. "I want to call my dad, but I don't know if he'd answer, and God knows he wouldn't want to talk about it anyway."

I tried to come up with a good response, but I finally gave up. "Shit, I'm sorry," was all I could muster.

"I don't know if she's thinking about breaking up or what. I mean, I'm guessing she probably is, but I hope not. I don't know much about that, but I'm guessing if she did, it'd be an expensive divorce...."

I clutched his hand. "Listen," I said, "no matter what happens--"

"What the fuck am I going to do?" he asked.

"It'll be okay."

"It's all my fault."

"No it's not--"

"Are you saying it's yours?"

"Look," I said, "if there's one thing I've learned about this shit, it's that you can't blame yourself, or anybody else, about things you can't control. And the harder you fight this stuff, the worse it gets." I didn't know what possessed me to say that, because I'd never thought of it that way. Then, before I could stop myself, I found myself saying: "I love you."

Chad didn't seem to know how to react. I was hoping for an I love you too, but instead he cleared his throat. "Dammit, don't say that."

A pang of fear shot through my body. Shit, I thought, did I just say the wrong thing?

"You just like the idea of me," he said.

"Maybe six months ago," I said, "when I just thought you were really fucking hot. And you were awesome in bed. But knowing what I know now, even though it hasn't been easy... somehow that's made me fall for you that much more."

Before I could say another word, Chad sat up and kissed me. It was the most passionate kiss I'd ever felt, at least from my end, and I wanted to take it further. But then I remembered the other Kap Eps were right outside the door.

Chad broke off the kiss and held me tight. I pressed my cheek against his, and I breathed in the smell of his skin. "I'm sorry about all this," I said, "but it'll be okay."

"I hope you're right," he whispered.

Me too, I thought to myself, though I didn't dare say the words.

 

[briacon429]

I would've liked to spend another night, but I had class the next day, and I had shit to get done in the meantime. I brought Chad some chips and guac-- my favorite hangover food-- then gave him a kiss and headed home.

I was walking down the street, about a block from my house, when I noticed a curly-haired guy coming toward me. At first I didn't recognize him, but then I realized it was the dude we'd seen on Grindr, the one who called himself O'Mac.

My first thought was that I was in on a secret. But as the guy got closer, I saw he practically advertised he was gay. He was wearing a shirt for Wildcat Pride, and he had a rainbow flag on his backpack. He even had a bit of a limp wrist, and he seemed to sashay down the sidewalk.

I was tempted to say something, but I decided against it. As much as I wanted to make more gay friends, I wasn't sure I should do it at school. I was still worried about being found out, and I didn't want to run any more risks than I absolutely had to.

On the Internet, of course, I could stay nice and anonymous. So as soon as I got home, I checked out the website for Wildcat Pride. I was surprised to find it was just one of a bunch of gay groups on campus. I spent the next hour just clicking on links and exploring what all was out there.

I found the university had a whole Office of LGBT Student Life, with full-time employees and everything. Then there were a bunch of student and alumni organizations, not just for gay guys and lesbians, but also people of color, trans men and women, allies, legal advocates, you name it. There were support groups and resources for coming out, transitioning, and even just living life. There was also a calendar of special events, along with an "Out List" of mentors who were openly gay.

All these pages said they kept things confidential. I figured in that case, they might be worth checking out in more detail, ideally with Chad. Then again, I didn't know what Chad would say about it, since he still seemed uncomfortable around overtly gay stuff.

For the next day or two, I kept wanting to spend time with Chad, but we were juggling so much shit, it was easier said than done. We did text each other all the time, but even so, I was dying for a moment when we could be alone together.

I'd just gotten back from a class, and was sitting down at my desk, when my phone buzzed. It was an unrecognized number, and I was about to decline the call, but then I realized who it must be. "Oh shit," I said as I hit the button to answer.

"Hello?" came a voice. "Is this Mister Harrington?"

I immediately knew who it was. I would've recognized that crotchety nurse anywhere. "Yes it is," I replied.

"I'm from the health department," she said. "I've got the results of your test."

I bit my tongue. I knew it was the moment of truth, but I didn't say anything. I just steeled myself for what I'd hear next.

"It came back negative," she finally said.

"Oh thank God," I said as I felt my whole body relax. I was still kicking myself for how badly I'd fucked up, and I swore I'd never put myself in that position again. "So I'm officially out of the woods?"

"I don't know what that means," she said, "but as of a few days ago, you're clean."

"Wow," I said. "I mean, I guess I'm not surprised or anything, it's just--"

"Yeah yeah, I know," she said. "Now stay safe."

"Okay," I said, but before I could say any more, she hung up the phone.

I was thrilled at the thought of having proper guilt-free sex. My cock was already hard, and my hole was starting to tingle. I was about to call Chad, but then I realized the nurse would be calling him too. So instead, I frantically typed out a text: Get over here. Right now.

Chad's response came a few seconds later: Fuck yeah! On my way.

By the time he got to my place, I was already naked, lubed up, and ready to go. As soon as he stepped in the door, I literally jumped his bones: I leaped into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist. Chad almost lost his balance, but then he braced himself against a wall.

We were making out more intensely than we ever had before. It was like a dam had burst, and our hormones and emotions came gushing out.

I unzipped his fly and guided his cock toward my hole. Chad carried me a few steps, but we never made it to the bed. He just plopped me down on my desk-- which was the closest piece of furniture-- before plowing into my ass.

I nearly died when I felt his warm dick inside me. "Oh shit!" I said as I clawed at his back.

That sensation was exactly what I'd been craving. Chad's anatomy felt so much better than any vibrator. At long last, there were no limits to what we could do, as long as our bodies could handle it, and as long as it felt good-- and at that particular moment, practically everything felt good.

I pulled off Chad's clothes as he fucked me. He never missed a beat as he kept thrusting in and out. Finally he was naked too, and he leaned in to kiss me.

"Damn, I love this ass," he said. "You're so fucking sexy."

I spread my legs wider. "Give it to me harder."

Chad rammed into me with so much force that my mouth fell open. He'd never fucked me in that position, basically an afternoon delight, with me sitting down and him standing up. But he was surprisingly good at it; I could feel his cockhead sliding back and forth, and his pubes kept brushing against me.

I loved watching Chad's muscles flex as he plowed into me. His face looked downright ecstatic, and I'm guessing mine did too. "I love your dick in me," I said. "I fucking need it."

Chad pounded me as fast as he could, and I felt him hit my prostate. I let out a gasp, but then he re-positioned himself to keep from hitting it again. Part of me wanted to beg him to go back, but the other part understood what he was up to. We were both enjoying the ride, so we didn't want to risk cumming too soon.

Chad picked me up off the desk, while still keeping his dick inside me, and he swung me around in a 360. It felt like one of those scenes in the movies, where the lovers make out while spinning in circles. I lost sight of everything but the gorgeous man I was with.

Finally he stepped back into my chair. We started doing a seesaw, with him sitting down and my legs still tied around his torso. It was easier to make out in that position, and I don't think either of us could resist. "I love you baby," he said.

I could practically feel my heart doing cartwheels inside me. "Say that again."

"Now don't get sappy on me--"

"I want to hear it."

"Okay fine," he said. "I said I fucking love you... as if you didn't know it before."

I felt a whole new kind of pleasure rippling through my body. It wasn't a physical sensation-- at least not really-- but it felt better than anything I could've imagined. "I love you more," I whispered.

"I told you not to get sappy," he said. "Besides, you know you're not telling the truth. At least about that last part."

"What makes you so sure?"

Chad didn't answer. He just sped up his thrusts, which made me bounce up and down on his lap. He almost hit my prostate again-- and I wasn't about to object-- but then he slowed down again. He nibbled on my earlobe, then sucked on it harder and harder.

"Oh yeah," I said as my neurons kept firing. "I can't believe this feels so good."

"Not as good as you baby. I love that tight hole around my cock." Then he took his lips off my ear, and he made his way downward.

"Shit," I said as I tilted my head to the side. I felt Chad kiss my neck, then move on to my shoulder. It was practically a full-body experience, between his cock thrusting in my ass, and his soft wet tongue caressing my skin.

"I'm so close," he whispered.

"Me too," I said.

Chad put his arms around me. He kept pounding me as he got up, lowered me to the floor, and laid me down on my back. I put my feet on his shoulders, and I positioned myself so he could go extra deep. Then he rammed into me in a mind-blowing mirror of pleasure.

I'd held off cumming for as long as I could, but now he was hitting my prostate again. I knew what my body wanted, and I knew I couldn't stall it forever. I was within seconds of passing the point of no return, when I finally said "I'm going to shoot."

Chad craned his neck down, took my cock in his hands, and aimed it toward his face. He stretched out his tongue to lick it, but he couldn't quite reach it.

I didn't want him to pull out of me, so I grabbed his ass and held him firmly in position. "Oh fuck," I gasped as I felt my orgasm build.

"Oh yeah," he said. "Cum for me, baby."

I did as I was told, and I shot a rope in his mouth. Before he could react, another spurt missed him by a few inches. Then, over the next couple seconds, a few more gobs went splattering in all directions.

Chad licked his lips and swallowed. "That's so fucking hot," he said. Then, before I could respond, he started pistoning into me extra hard. His movements were so fast, it seemed like his loins were on fire. Then, all of a sudden, he slowed down and opened his mouth. "Oh yeah!"

I felt the familiar sexy feeling of his juices inside me. His warm milk seemed to pour deep into my body. I loved the idea of his DNA embedded in me.

Chad pumped for a couple more seconds before pulling out. He leaned down to my crotch, lapped up the rest of my cum, and swallowed again. Then he plopped down on the floor. "That was fucking incredible," he said.

I could barely speak. It seemed like I was melting into the ground.

"You know," he said, "you should greet me naked at the door more often."

I laughed and rolled over toward him. My heart was pounding for more reasons than one. "Maybe I will," I said. "But you'll need to promise to fuck my brains out each time."

"I think that can be arranged," he said.

We locked lips again, and we shared another passionate kiss. By that point, I'd lost track of everything else in the world. All I cared about was the two of us together-- because as long as we had each other, it seemed like nothing else mattered. Or at least so I thought.

 

[openfly]

Chad dove between my legs, and I felt his lips on my taint. He flicked his tongue against my skin, just enough to tease me, and he made his way toward my boyhole. Then he smacked my butt cheeks. "You've got the perfect ass," he said. "Such a tight juicy ass...."

"Fucking eat it," I said. "Have your way with it."

Chad shoved his face in my crack, and he started eating away. I couldn't tell what he was doing with his lips, exactly, or his tongue. All I knew was that it felt great in my crack.

I just closed my eyes and arched my neck. "Oh fuck," I said, "yeah, keep doing that...."

Chad had his mouth full, so he didn't answer. He just kept servicing me as if his life depended on it.

I lowered my voice to a whisper. "How does it taste?"

Chad moved his face about an inch from my ass. "It tastes like you, baby," he said, "and I love it." Then he went back to ravaging me.

I gasped and closed my eyes. "Oh shit," was all I could say.

Chad kept rimming me for another minute or two, then stepped back and stripped off his shirt. He grabbed our lube bottle, then leaned back over me.

I felt something hard against me. At first I assumed it was Chad's dick, but then I felt it go inside me, and I realized it was thinner than what I was used to. I glanced between my legs, and I saw he was fingering my ass.

Chad fucked me with his pointer finger, then pulled it out partway. Then he added his middle finger. He used his free hand to spread my ass open as wide as it would go.

I pressed my body back against him, and I felt his fingers go deeper inside me. "Oh yeah," I said, "go in all the way."

Chad's hand kept sliding further in, and he started exploring the inside of my ass. It only took him a few seconds to find my prostate and start playing with it. My nerves went wild, and feelings of ecstasy rippled through my body. It was the first time my gland had been pleasured like that, and I loved every second of it.

I didn't want to cum too soon, so I pulled away and rolled onto my back. "I want to kiss you," I said.

Chad didn't waste a second. He leaned down, and we started sucking face. I couldn't get enough of the taste of his lips or the smell of his breath. I wanted him more than I'd ever thought possible. I gripped his face with my hands, while Chad pressed the rest of his body against mine.

"Let's get these shorts off you," I finally said.

Chad stepped back, and I undid his fly. I pulled out his cock and gave it a quick suck. It felt like it had been ages since I'd had him in my mouth. I was so ravenous that I had to force myself not to blow him to completion.

After a few seconds, I pulled back and gave him a few tugs. Then I pulled down his shorts and undies the rest of the way. His naked body was so gorgeous, I still couldn't quite believe it was real.

Chad picked up the vibrator. "Are you ready for this?"

"Hell yeah," I said as I leaned back and spread my legs.

Chad pressed the vibrator against my taint; then he ran it in circles around my pucker. I couldn't stand any more teasing, so I reached down and guided it inside me. I felt the head pop in, and then the shaft slid in inch by inch.

The vibrator wasn't as warm as Chad's cock— or as satisfying, for that matter— but I still loved the feeling of it going up my ass. It seemed to fill me up, and it definitely stretched out my sphincter, which was really what I needed.

"Go ahead," Chad said. "I want to watch you fucking yourself."

I looked down at Chad's dick, then glanced over at his hand. He was still holding the vibrator's remote control. "Don't you want to turn it on?" I asked.

"I will eventually," he said. "I promise."

I gazed into Chad's eyes, then started sliding the vibrator in and out of me. The more I did it, the better it started to feel.

"Yeah baby," he said. "That's it."

I wanted to say something back, but somehow I couldn't. I just stared at him while I fucked myself.

"You like that, don't you?"

"Yeah," I said, "but I wish you were the one fucking me—"

"Me too," he said as he leaned in and gave me a kiss. "There'll be plenty of time for that later."

We made out for a minute or two, all while I kept pleasuring my ass. The vibrator's shaft was just a little bit ribbed, so I felt each of the ridges pop past my fuckring.

Then, without any warning, Chad flipped the switch. I felt the vibrator shake against my prostate, and a jolt of electricity shot through me. "Oh shit!" was all I could say. My whole body started going into spasms. I could barely help myself as I flopped all over the bed.

"Yeah," Chad said. "That's so fucking hot...."

"Oh God," I said as I tried to control my body. The waves of pleasure were too much; I just couldn't resist what my muscles were doing.

"Okay baby," Chad said as he turned the vibrator off. "If you don't want it on, we don't need it."

"I didn't say that," I replied. I let out a deep breath. "That was so fucking good—"

"Are you saying you want more?"

"Baby," I said, "I want more than you can ever imagine."

He flipped the switch again, and the vibrator came back on. My thighs convulsed, and my legs flew into the air. I got a grip on most of my body, but my ass kept quivering, and I couldn't get it to stop.

"Fuck!" I yelled. I kept waiting for the shaking to stop, but Chad wouldn't turn it off.

"That's so hot," he said as he started stroking himself.

The vibrator felt incredible, but the spectacle in front of me was even better. I couldn't get over the sight of Chad jacking off, despite all the times I'd seen it before. He still looked indescribably hot, with his practically flawless body, his rock-hard cock, and the look of desire on his face. He beat himself faster and faster, while I soaked in the view. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. "Oh shit!" I yelled as I busted my nut.

Chad didn't miss a beat. "Oh yeah...."

I was still trying to catch my breath. I hadn't touched myself the whole time. "Don't bust yet," I whispered.

"What?"

I reached for his remote. I turned the vibrator off, then pulled it out of my ass. "I want to watch you ride this," I said.

"Are you sure?"

"Trust me," I said, "you won't regret it." I applied some fresh lube, then made Chad get up. Then I pointed the vibrator straight up, and slowly but surely, Chad lowered himself onto it.

"Oh shit," he said. "That does feel good...."

"I want to do to you what you did to me." I started kissing him, and I guided his hand toward his hole. "Go ahead: start fucking your ass."

Chad did as he was told. The vibrator had already disappeared inside him, but he pulled it back out. He teased his own hole for a second, then slid the vibrator back in, and the cycle repeated itself a couple more times.

I could've watched him all day. I'd never seen Chad violate his own ass like that, but it was so fucking sexy, I couldn't take my eyes off it. I gripped the remote, and I waited for just the right moment till I suddenly flipped the switch.

"Omigod!" he yelled as he fell flat on the bed, and his body went into contortions. He gripped the headboard and tried to control himself.

"Take it, baby," I said as I leaned in to kiss him. Chad could barely reciprocate. He just laid there with his jaw open, while I ran my tongue around his mouth. Then I nibbled on his lower lip, till finally we started making out.

Chad let out a loud groan, and before I could react, I felt his warm jizz hit my face. At least two shots splashed against my cheek; then I looked down and saw the rest of his cum splattered on his stomach.

"That didn't take you long," I said as I turned the vibrator off.

"Oh fuck yeah," he said. "I can't feel my legs...."

"Isn't that the idea?"

Chad just laughed. He pulled the vibrator out, then tossed it aside. Finally he put his arms around me and pulled me as close as he could. "Well," he said, "if we can keep doing that for ten days, it'll sure make that time go by faster."

I licked my lips. "Well," I said, "I guess that's a present for both of us."

Ohh MANN!! I've jacked off to your story several times, and I honestly can't help it--a lot has to do with the identification with your Scott--don't really think the same name has much to do with it, it all just reminds me a lot of what I went through right after college. Loving this--THANKS!

 

[briacon429]

Rush Week was a weird experience that fall. It was actually kind of nostalgic: the Kap Eps went through the same drill every semester, so it felt like we were re-living the time when Chad and I first met. The big difference this time-- aside from us being a couple-- was that we weren't newbies anymore. Now we were helping call the shots and deciding which of the rushees would get a bid. It was pretty hot to think we could send them through the same initiation we'd gone through ourselves. We couldn't wait to see those boys strip down, jack off in front of us, and do whatever else we made them do.

Chad and I quietly scoped out the candidates, and we debated which of them we liked best. I'd never openly talked about another guy's sexiness, much less in front of my boyfriend, and neither had Chad. But behind closed doors, at least, we couldn't resist.

"Drew seems cool," I said. "I talked to him the night of the BSU game."

"You're just into those muscles of his."

"So what if I am?"

"Well, my vote's for that Justin kid."

"The short guy?"

"Yeah," he said. "He's got a helluva butt."

"Do I need to be worried?"

Chad scoffed. "Hell no," he said. "I never said I wanted to do anything with him. Except watch, which we're gonna do anyway."

"I guess."

"Besides, you've been checking out those guys as much as I have. You know how many times I caught you looking at Shane's bulge?"

"Well," I said, "he looks like you."

"Uh-huh," he said. "We'll have to see about that."

"Maybe we will," I said as I gave him a kiss.

We got so turned on that we were dying to fuck. But sex was practically impossible in the frat house, with the other Kap Eps around, so we stayed on our best behavior. Pretty much all we could do was beat off in the bathroom, and even then, we had to do it separately.

Our only real one-on-one time was during the day, between classes, when we could sneak off to my place. It was during one of these sessions that a plain brown box showed up at my door. It took me a minute to realize what it was: it was the sex toy shipment we'd ordered. I snatched it up as fast as I could, hoping my neighbors hadn't seen it. I shut the door behind me, and I tore the box right open.

There was a bunch of stuff in there, from cockrings to jockstraps to an anal wand, but I was most excited about the custom dildo kits. I'd really gotten to like our vibrator, and I wanted to take our adventures to the next level. "Oh hell yeah," was Chad's reaction too.

We didn't waste any time putting the dildo kits to good use. It was a pretty messy process: we had to mix the molding powder with water, then stick our boners in it. We'd heard the trickiest part was staying hard long enough for the molds to set. But at that point, we were so horny that we didn't have much trouble. We didn't want to leave anything to chance, so we made out while we waited, and we fondled each other's asses. I was dying to touch Chad's package, but since I couldn't, I focused on his other erogenous zones: I sucked on his nipples and earlobes, then ran my hands across his body.

Eventually we pulled out of the forms and poured in liquid rubber. We were supposed to let them harden overnight, so we set them aside; in the meantime, we had needs to attend to.

"Lie down," I whispered. "I've been dying to get your dick in my mouth."

"It's all yours," Chad whispered back.

I could barely control myself as I got on my knees and started slurping away. He tasted funny at first, but as my lips and tongue cleaned him off, his familiar taste came back.

I was about to reach for one of our toys when I heard a ping. Apparently an alert had come through on my phone. I ignored it at first, but then I heard a second ping, then a third.

Chad apparently heard it too. "What the hell is that?" he asked.

I sighed and got up off the bed. I rummaged through my clothes for a second, then pulled out my phone. The alerts turned out to be totally random. "It's just Facebook," I said. "My sister's friend is getting married today. She apparently invited all the people from my high school, so they're all tagging each other and shit." I fiddled with the phone. "How do I turn these alerts off?"

"Don't worry about it," Chad said. "You've got more important things to take care of. Like me."

"Yeah." I was about to head back to bed when I realized Johan was in a few of the pictures. An uncomfortable feeling came over me. Then I swiped to another photo, only to see another familiar face. "Aw hell," I said out loud.

"What's wrong?" Chad asked.

I hesitated at first, but then I showed him a picture of Erica. "That's my ex-girlfriend."

"You're still friends with your ex?"

"No," I said. "But some of my friends still talk to her."

Chad eyed the photo. "I mean, she's not bad looking... though you're totally out of her league."

"Yeah, well, I'm not playing for that team anymore."

"I should hope not. For more reasons than one."

I wanted to smile, but I still felt a little uneasy. I thought back to the picture of Johan. I couldn't help wondering if he'd talked to Erica, or to Amy for that matter. My big fear was that he could out me to my family and friends. After all, he was the only person back home who knew I was gay. I liked to think I could trust him, but there was always the risk of a slip of the tongue.

"You okay?" Chad asked.

I took a deep breath. "I should tell you something," I said.

"What?"

"You said you wanted to know everything about me? Warts and all?"

"Yeah."

I paused, then showed him my phone again. "I hooked up with this guy a while back."

Chad frowned. "Who the hell is that?"

"He's a guy I knew in high school. I just... well, I don't like being reminded of it now."

"Me neither," he said.

"I'm sorry--"

"You know I don't like thinking of you with anyone but me," he said as he put his arms around me.

"I don't either. If I had to do it over again...." But I didn't finish my sentence.

"How about you just turn off your phone," he said, "and fuck the guy who's right here in front of you?"

I couldn't argue with that. I put my phone away, and I got back into bed. "Which toy do you want to try?"

"I don't think we have time. I've got class in half an hour." He put his hand on my dick. "Besides... you know this is my favorite sex toy of all."

I couldn't resist giving him a kiss. I still couldn't get over the way he begged for my cock. I just wished the outside world would stop intruding on us.

Chad got on all fours, and I fucked him doggy style. It was one of my favorite positions, considering it was so raw and primeval. It made Chad look like a piece of meat that I could use as I saw fit. I loved looking down and seeing his ass jiggle with every thrust.

Chad wasn't a passive bottom though. He kept pushing his ass against me, and he kept milking my cock with his boyhole. He had pretty much mastered the art of keeping his body in perfect synchronization with mine.

"Tell me when you're close," I said.

"You go first, baby." Chad arched his back. "Breed my hole."

I grabbed his hips and plowed into him as hard as I could. I wasn't quite ready to get off, but I knew it wouldn't take long.

"Oh God... give it to me...."

Slowly but surely, I felt my juices making their way out of my balls. I kept on pounding him as hard as I could. My muscles started contracting, and my mouth dropped open. Then I delivered to Chad what we wanted.

"Oh baby," he gasped as he took my cum in his ass.

"Are you close?"

"Fuck yeah," he said.

I pulled out of him, flipped him over, and put my mouth on his cock. Then I fingered his hole while I sucked him.

It only took a second or two before he shot in my mouth. I savored his sperm's salty sweetness. I rolled it around on my tongue, then pressed it all against my palate. I kissed his cockhead, looked him right in the eyes, and swallowed.

"Oh yeah," I said.

Chad let out a sigh. "That felt so fucking good."

I looked down at his ass. A stream of cum had dripped out of his mancunt, and his taint was smeared with lube. "Careful," I said. "It's messy down there."

He grinned. "That's how I wanted it."

I plopped down on he bed. "I wish we could just lie here all day."

"Well, I'll see you again tonight--"

"I know, but it won't be the same. Not with the other Kap Eps."

Chad shrugged. "So why don't we just tell them?"

I thought I'd misheard him at first. "Say what?"

"I mean, why not?" he asked. "We could stop all this hiding, and they've always been cool about Ryan and Marcos--"

"Yeah, well, it's not exactly as easy as you make it sound."

"I never said it was easy," he said. "Hell, I still don't know what to say to my dad... all I know is, I don't want to tell him any more than I absolutely have to."

I pursed my lips, and I pressed my body against his. "I'm not sure what to tell my family either."

"Well," he said in a voice dripping with sarcasm, "then I guess Thanksgiving will be fun."

I felt a knot in my stomach. The year before, I'd stayed on campus for the holidays. "I don't like the idea of being apart," I said, "even if it's just for a few days."

"Me neither," he said. "I mean, you can always come with me...."

"Wouldn't that be awkward?"

"Possibly. But it's probably still better than the alternative."

I still wanted to see Chad's life outside of college, but I was afraid of what it would entail, now more than ever. "Why do you even have to go back?" I asked. "I mean, at least right now--"

"I don't have a choice," he said. "If I'm going to smooth things over, especially with my dad...." His voice trailed off, but then he cleared his throat. "Well, if I don't do it soon, I may not get another chance."

I couldn't argue with that. I just nodded.

 

[briacon429]

By the end of that week, we and the other the Kap Eps had agreed on five new pledges: Justin, Shane, Hunter, Mike, and Drew. All five of them seemed cool-- and they were damned good looking-- so Chad and I couldn't wait for their big initiation. We were itching to have those boys at our beck and call, though we didn't expect things to go down the way they did.

The first step, of course, was to make the pledges get naked. The sight was just as awesome as I'd hoped. Justin had a great ass, just as Chad had expected. Shane had a huge fucking cock. Hunter had a lot of body hair, but it looked good on him. Mike and Drew had pretty much perfect pecs and abs.

The next step was to make them play cum-on-a-cookie. I'd picked out the cookie myself, a big chewy chocolate chip one. I figured it could take the most abuse without falling apart. I'd also done a few taste tests with Chad, just to make sure the flavors complemented each other-- which they most certainly did.

I watched the boys' expressions as Luke told them what was coming. I tried to gauge if they'd suspected this beforehand. I actually felt kind of jealous, because I wanted to join in; I didn't

like how the pledges would be getting off and I wouldn't. I would've loved to have sex with Chad right there, the same way Ryan and Marcos had done the time before.

"Now don't give me that look," Luke was saying to the pledges. "All of us have done this, so if you want to be one of us, you'll have to do it too. You got it?"

"Um," Shane said, "w-well I guess...."

"Good," he said. "Now don't give us any more trouble, or we'll make you our bitches... even more than you already are."

I knew Luke was just being theatrical, but it still turned me on. I loved seeing naked boys getting bossed around like that, and I kind of wanted to be bossed around myself.

"Now get ready," Luke said. "Three... two... one... go!"

With that, the boys were off to the races. Each of them jacked off differently. Justin gripped his shaft with one hand, and he fingered his taint with the other. Shane massaged his cockhead with his palm. Hunter went at it the old-fashioned way, just pounding his pud as hard as he could. Mike was having trouble getting hard, so he just played with himself. Drew squeezed his ballsack and pulled down on his nuts.

I looked over at Chad; his eyes were fixed on Justin. I was a little jealous that he was so into another guy jacking off-- but then again, so was I, so I couldn't really complain. Ryan and Marcos were also licking their lips. We all seemed to be enjoying the show.

I was struggling to keep a straight face-- if that was even the right term. My dick was straining against my jeans, and I could tell Chad's was too. I'd never watched shit like this without joining in. Even when I'd watched porn, I'd always been playing with myself. I was tempted to damn the torpedoes, free my member from his constraints, and start stroking myself; yet I resisted the urge.

"Oh shit," Hunter said. He started breathing heavily, and he aimed his dick at the cookie. Then he let out a grunt, and he busted his nut right on target. He shot one rope came after another, till finally his balls were spent.

"Wow!" Marcos said. "That was fast!"

A couple of the other Kap Eps applauded. Hunter grinned and took a bow. Then he leaned back and watched the others.

Shane was the next one to bust. He kept on playing with his cockhead for a minute or so, till he was ready to rip. "Oh fuuuuck," he gasped as he jizzed all over the cookie. Some of his cum went splattering on the floor, but most of it went where it belonged.

Justin kept on fingering himself. He slowly made his way further and further back, till a bunch of his fingers disappeared up his hole. I could tell he was going for his prostate-- he tried to hide it, but I knew-- and the next thing I knew, his dick was erupting too. Justin threw his head back as his juices went flying in all directions.

By that point, I was practically dying. I could feel my heart pounding, especially since Chad was standing beside me. I wanted nothing more than to have my way with him, though I knew I still had a ways to go.

Mike had finally managed to get himself hard. He was doing his best to rub one out, but he didn't seem to have much luck. I assumed he was about to lose the game.

Drew, on the other hand, seemed to be in no hurry. He stopped wanking for a second, and he rolled his balls in his hands like a couple of marbles. Then he went back to stroking himself. This cycle repeated itself a couple of times.

Suddenly Mike moved forward, let out a grunt, and got off. He wasn't too enthusiastic; he looked more relieved than anything else.

Drew was right behind him. He pumped his cock a couple more times, then closed his eyes. "God yeah," he said as his balls started to contract. Then he finally splooged.

"Wow," I said without thinking.

Drew sat back. "Damn," he said. He looked up at the rest of us, then looked down at the cookie.

"What are you waiting for?" Marcos asked. "Fucking eat it."

Drew took a deep breath and picked up the cookie. It was covered in man frosting, but it held up beautifully. Drew took his first bite, chewed it for a second, and swallowed. Then he wolfed down the rest.

"Awesome!" Luke said, and we started toasting their accomplishment. The pledges just stared at us, some more awkwardly than others.

We went on to get totally hammered. I was struggling to control myself the whole time. Ryan and Marcos were openly checking out the pledges and whispering to each other. My jealousy kept growing with every drink I had. I was tempted to take Chad's suggestion, tell the Kap Eps that I liked boys and that we were a couple, and let the chips fall where they may. But I was still sober enough that I managed to stop myself.

It wasn't till we all retreated to our rooms that I felt I could loosen up. As soon as the door was closed behind us, Chad and I put our arms around each other, and we started making out.

"Oh yeah," Chad said between kisses. He put his hands on my ass. "I want this so bad."

"Mm-hm," I said. "Were those naked freshmen turning you on?"

He leaned into my ear. "I want to get my sophomore naked," he whispered.

I ran my tongue along his lips. "I saw the look on your face when Justin got off," I said. "Don't pretend you didn't like it."

"I never said I didn't." He pulled my body against his, and I felt our boners pressing together. "You know," he said, "it looked like Drew liked it too... am I the only one who thought he enjoyed that cookie a little too much?"

"It depends on what you mean by too much."

"Well, the point of the game is to nut as fast as you can--"

"Not for everybody," I said. "If you want a mouthful of cum--"

"That actually sounds really good right now."

I licked my lips. I was about to say something else, but then we heard some muffled sounds. We could distinctly hear Ryan and Marcos's voices. They were groaning and grunting, along with an unmistakable thump-thump-thump from their bed.

Chad shot me a mischievous look. "Apparently great minds think alike."

"Holy shit," I said. It was actually kind of hot that we couldn't see anything. The noises left just enough to the imagination; I could only guess at what kind of sex Ryan and Marcos were having. Their room was clear down the hall, so if we could hear them, presumably the other Kap Eps could too.

"They must be shitfaced," Chad said. "They don't know how big of a racket they're making. Either that, or they don't care."

I nodded. "Were we ever that loud?"

"I dunno... we did have that one time your neighbor banged on the walls."

"Oh shit," I said. "I forgot about that."

"Anyway," he said, "I guess this the gay fraternity now?"

"If it is, we should get down to business." I pressed back up against his body, and I flicked my tongue against his ear. "I wanted you to fuck me hours ago."

"I would've done it," he said. "Why didn't you say so?"

"In front of everybody?"

Chad shot me a facetious grin. "Yeah, why not?" he said. "Those pledges were putting on a helluva show. We would've just been returning the favor."

"Yeah right--"

"I guess better late than never," he said. He gave me a kiss, then stepped over to his door. He checked to make sure there was no one outside. Then he took my hand and led me downstairs.

The basement game room was as quiet as ever. I'd always appreciated how private it was, but this time I was downright grateful: we could be as loud as we wanted, and the other Kap Eps would never know. I grappled with my clothes and helped Chad with his. It only took a second before we were both naked, with both of our dicks standing firmly at attention.

"I still can't get enough of this cock," Chad said as he hunched over me, then put his mouth around me. He sucked my shaft for a few seconds, then started nibbling my ballsack with his lips. "You taste so fucking good...."

"Oh God yeah," I said.

Chad made me lie down on the pool table. He ran his tongue around my balls, basically doing a bunch of figure-8's. Then he licked my taint and made his way down to my hole.

"Hot damn," I said as I felt his lips on my crack. I wanted to give him more access, so pulled my legs up as far as they would go, basically till my knees were flat against my shoulders.

Chad dove in like his life depended on it. He kept playing with my mancunt, running his tongue in spirals. He managed to go just far enough to drive me wild yet always leave me wanting more.

"Fucking tease," I said. "I told you how bad I needed fucked."

Chad looked up and licked his lips. "I'm getting there," he said. He gave me another kiss, then reached for the cabinet. He grabbed the lube and rubbed a bunch of it on his shaft. "Let's do it on the futon," he whispered. "For old time's sake."

I got up from the pool table, took a few steps, and laid down on the sheets. I was all too aware that this was where he'd deflowered me a semester ago-- and, for that matter, where I'd deflowered him.

Chad climbed on top of me. "You ready for this dick?"

"Dying for it," I said.

Chad grinned. Then, at long last, he made his way inside me. I relished the feeling of him going up my chute.

My mouth dropped open, and I looked him in the eye. "Yeah baby," I said. "Keep going."

Chad eased in till he was balls-deep. Then he leaned down to kiss me. "You're such a fucking stud," he said. Finally he leaned back up, and he started pounding away.

I was practically in heaven. No matter how many times I'd had sex with Chad, each time seemed full of new and different sensations. I loved feeling his sausage plow into my ass, and I loved watching his chest muscles shudder with each thrust. It was actually pretty incredible to think how far we'd come: I'd gone from being a man virgin, to being a slut, to having a serious boyfriend I was crazy about.

I wrapped my legs around his body, and I pulled him closer to me. I wanted to hold him and never let go, just like I wanted him to keep fucking me forever. Chad leaned down and kissed me, and I devoured his lips and his tongue.

Suddenly WHAM! The door burst open, and two naked figures stumbled inside.

Chad and I both jumped with surprise, and our bodies came apart. "What the hell?"

"Oh shit!" Hunter said when he saw us. He turned and darted upstairs, and Drew followed closely behind.

"Hey!" Chad yelled. "Get back here!"

I scrambled to cover myself up, while Chad ran after the pledges.

"I gave you an order, you chickenshits!"

Hunter and Drew had gotten to the top of the stairs, but then Hunter tripped on a step. Both of them paused and looked back at us.

"Remember," Chad said, "you have to do what we say."

"What are you going to do?"

"Just get down here," Chad said. He grabbed his underwear off the floor, and he pulled it back on. I put on my underwear too, though the pledges were still as naked as ever.

An awkward silence hung in the air. Drew tiptoed down the stairs. He still seemed a little tipsy, though he was obviously trying to hide it. "Listen," he said, "w-we didn't mean to walk in on you. I mean, whatever you guys are doing, it's cool--"

"Apparently you guys are doing the same thing."

"W-what?"

"Everybody comes down here for the same reason," Chad said. "Don't try to deny it. And don't think I didn't see your hands on each other's cocks."

"Well," Hunter said, "we didn't know there was anybody down here, I-I mean we never suspected--"

"Yeah, well, now you know our little secret," Chad said, "and we know yours."

My stomach sank. The implication of this was just starting to sink in: Chad and I had been outed, despite all the hiding we'd done, and despite our debates about when and how to come out.

"I mean," Drew was saying, "we just... well, we had a lot to drink...."

"If you want to tell yourself that, go ahead," Chad said. "I told myself the same thing a semester ago."

Hunter frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"We ended up here too," Chad said. "I swore it was just cause we were drunk. But the truth was, I was fucking craving it. And I guarantee you are too."

I wasn't quite comfortable with where this was going. I was about to speak up, but Drew beat me to it.

"You don't need to tell anybody, do you?"

"I'll make you a deal," Chad said. "If you don't tell anybody about us, then we won't tell anybody about you. But if you break that promise, I'll fucking blackball you, and you'll never set foot in this house again. Understood?"

Hunter and Drew exchanged glances. "Look," Hunter said, "we don't want any trouble. We're cool."

"Good," Chad said. "Now get out of here. If you guys want to fuck, you'll need to do it someplace else."

Hunter and Drew both nodded. Then, without another word, they headed upstairs.

Chad closed the door and looked back at me. My face was burning with embarrassment. I didn't know what to say, and I don't think he did either.

"Shit," I finally said.

Chad sighed. "Well," he said, "we talked about telling them anyway."

"Not like this!" I hissed as I struggled to keep my voice down. "They fucking saw me with a dick up my ass!"

"Well, what did you expect me to do? Invite them to join in?"

I sat on the futon and put my hands on my head. "I don't know," I said. "I mean I know it's not your fault, it's just...." I could tell the alcohol had gone to my head, because all my anxiety was bubbling to the surface. I had to force myself to keep it together.

Chad sat down beside me. "Babe, it's okay."

"No it's not," I said.

"I got caught the same as you did. Besides, we swore them to secrecy--"

"Whatever that means! I mean, what if the other guys notice something's up? They can order them to tell, just the same as we can order them not to. What happens then?"

"Don't worry about it," he said. "We've got something on them too, and they know it. They don't want to be found out any more than we do."

"How do you know that?"

Chad put his arm around me. "Trust me," he said.

The next morning was just as awkward as I'd feared-- at least for me. I kept thinking of what Hunter and Drew might say, even behind closed doors. I didn't want to show my face at all, but I knew hiding could make things worse. Slowly but surely I forced myself out of bed, and I grudgingly headed downstairs.

The pledges were all in the kitchen, still butt naked, making breakfast for the rest of us. They were waiting on Luke hand-and-foot, like he was some fucking queen bee.

"So," Luke said, "apparently somebody had a good time last night."

A pang of fear shot through me. Then I realized Marcos was standing behind me. I had totally forgotten his fuckfest with Ryan.

"Oh shit," Marcos said. "Were we loud?"

"Either that, or elephants must've been having an orgy."

"Damn," Marcos said. "Sorry about that."

I forced myself not to look at Hunter and Drew. I did see them from the corner of my eye, and they seemed to be keeping a pokerface of their own. I had to wonder what they'd done after they'd left us: did they end up having sex, or were they too surprised to go through with it? Of course I wasn't about to ask, so all I could do was to take a wild guess.

The subject never came up again, and the rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful-- except for the naked pledges of course. Chad acted like everything was fine, but I still wasn't sure. I couldn't help feeling like the other shoe was about to drop.

 

[briacon429]

By that point, my relationship with Chad seemed to have taken over my life. I spent practically all my time either thinking about him, or sneaking around with him, or worrying what what might come between us; or some combination of all three.

My sex dreams had taken on a whole new dimension. I still fantasized about Chad, yet my fetish for group sex was still alive and well. I kept picturing Chad jacking off at the gym, and I imagined us having locker room sex, often with other sweaty boys joining in. But most of those dreams ended with us getting caught, usually by Hunter and Drew. It was never as sexy as it always seemed in porn. I kept imagining that we either got thrown in jail for exposure, or marched to the dean's office and expelled.

My one enjoyable dream came right before we left for Thanksgiving break. It actually wasn't that sexual at first: I dreamt we were living together, not just in a crappy student apartment, but in a real place of our own. I came home to find that Chad had cooked me dinner. He served me wine and everything, and he even lit a few candles. That kind of romantic shit wasn't usually my speed, but at least in the dream it felt right.

Eventually, of course, we headed over to the bedroom we shared. Chad stripped off my clothes, piece by piece, while we made out. Then he lowered me onto our bed, and he started kissing my body. He started with my neck, then made his way down to my chest, playing with my nipples along the way. Then he continued down my treasure trail, and he ran his tongue around my bellybutton. Finally he took my dick in his mouth and started sucking away.

Suddenly I woke up. I recognized the usual cramped apartment around me. But the pleasurable feeling hadn't gone away. I looked down and realized I hadn't fully been dreaming: Chad really was going down on me.

"Holy shit," I said.

Chad looked up and rubbed my shaft. Both of us were still naked from the night before. "You had morning wood," he said. "It looked like it needed taken care of."

"I'm not complaining," I said.

"Good," he said, "because I fucking need this. Especially if I have to be away from you this week."

Those words were a bit of a buzzkill, though I couldn't really blame him. I knew Chad had family stuff to deal with, and for that matter, so did I. It would also be nice to get away from the Kap Eps, considering what had just happened. Even so, I'd gotten so used to being around Chad that it was hard to imagine us being apart. I consoled myself by saying it was just for a few days, and we could always talk on the phone or Skype or whatever else.

Chad worked my dick like his life depended on it. It almost felt like we were on a conjugal visit: we both knew our private time was precious, and we were desperate to enjoy every second.

After a minute, Chad swung his body around, and he positioned himself in a sixty-nine. I wanted to rim him at first, but as soon as I put my finger on his boyhole, I realized he was already lubed up.

"Good morning to you too," I said, and I took his dick in my mouth. His balls were hanging right over my eyes, to the point that I could barely see. But at that point, I didn't care. I was going to get as much of him as I could in the time we had left.

We sucked each other for a while, till Chad suddenly got up. I was about to ask him what he was doing, but I got my answer soon enough. He hovered his mancunt over my cock, then guided me inside him. Then he started riding me reverse-cowboy.

"Oh baby," I said as I thrust into him.

"Fuck, I'm gonna miss this," he said. "I need this dick so bad...."

"Take all you want," I said as I plowed deep inside him.

"Oh yeah!" he half-gasped, half-yelled, as his body gyrated back and forth. His groans seemed to echo through the room.

"I want to kiss you," I said.

Chad leaned back against me, and we started making out. He was still taking my dick like a champ. We did the pearly gates with him lying on top of me, face up, and me ramming him from behind.

I put my arms around his chest, and I held him tight. I couldn't stop kissing his sexy stubbly face.

"I love you so much," he gasped.

"I love you too baby." I was high on the feeling of being inside him. I savored his comforting weight on top of me, and I relished his familiar warmth and the smell of his skin.

"Oh fuck!" he gasped. He gave his dick a few tugs, his hole tightened up, and he busted all over himself.

I wasn't ready to finish yet. I wanted to enjoy the sex for as long as I could. Chad let me keep fucking him; he just reached down and fondled my balls.

"I want you to empty those inside me," he said.

"That's the plan," I whispered. I could feel my climax getting closer and closer.

Chad reached further down, and he played with my taint. Then he started rubbing my hole. I tried to press my ass against his hand, but in that position, it was easier said than done.

"Go inside," I said, and an instant later, I felt his fingers going up my butt. My cock started tingling, and I knew I couldn't last much longer. The familiar feeling of pleasure started coursing through my body, but I clenched my urethra as hard as I could, trying to delay the inevitable. "O-o-oh God," I finally said as I felt my dick erupt in Chad's ass.

I gave him a few more pumps. Eventually Chad rolled off me and plopped down at my side. "Wow," he said.

"I'm guessing that's what you wanted?"

Chad grinned. "I suppose you could say that." He let out a deep breath. "Now I know what we'll need to do this week: have lots and lots of phone sex."

I pulled a strand of hair from his eyes. The way we were lying, I could feel his heart beating, and he could probably feel mine. "I wish we didn't need to do this," I said. "Being apart, I mean."

"Yeah, well...." He pressed up against me, and I felt his cum smearing against my skin. "Maybe next time we'll find a better way."

"What do you mean?"

"I dunno," he said. "I really don't want to be apart from you either." And he gave me a kiss.

We put off heading to the airport as long as we could, but eventually we didn't have a choice. I could practically feel my heart sinking with each step I took; but I tried not to let on. There was always a chance we'd see another Kap Ep, or someone else we knew, considering how many students were flying out right then.

We were going through security when a TSA agent picked up my bag. "Is this yours?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"I'm going to have to look through it." He pointed me to a table. "This way."

I gritted my teeth. I signaled to Chad, who was already gathering his stuff. I suddenly felt a burst of adrenaline as I remembered what was in my bag. Before I could do anything, the agent opened it up and pulled out a dildo.

It was the replica we'd made of Chad's cock. It was supposed to keep me company that week, though the TSA didn't need to know that.

"That's not mine," I said without thinking.

The agent didn't bat an eye. "Spoken like Austin Powers," he said.

I gritted my teeth. Chad was carrying the dildo's counterpart, the one modeled after me. It was just my luck that my bag was the one getting inspected.

"Did you pack this bag?"

"Well yeah," I said. "That... well, that's supposed to be a gag gift."

"Uh-huh." The agent dug through my toiletries-- which included a travel-sized bottle of lube-- as well as my changes of clothes. I felt pretty exposed, but I didn't want to make things worse, so I kept my mouth shut. Finally the agent shrugged and put everything back. "All right," he said as he zipped up the bag. "You're all set... and have fun on your trip."

I didn't know what to say at that point. I was totally silent as I took my things and headed for the concourse.

Chad was waiting for me just outside the checkpoint. "Did I just see what I thought I did?"

"No comment," I said.

"I guess I should take that as a compliment," he said, "if the TSA thinks my dick could be a weapon."

"Sh!" I whispered. "You can't joke about shit like that. Not at an airport."

Chad seemed about ready to say something else, but then he looked into my eyes, and his cockiness melted away. "Sorry. Just trying to lighten the mood."

"I know you are. It's just...." I sighed and forced a smile. "I just can't wait for this week to be over."

I wanted to take him in my arms right then, but since we were in public, I resisted the urge. I just looked into Chad's eyes, and he looked right back. I could tell his feelings on the subject were an awful lot like mine.

My flight left before his, so he kept me company at the gate, and he waited till I boarded. We never kissed goodbye, but as soon as I got to my seat, I discreetly sent him a text.

Safe travels, I wrote. I love you.

I love you too, he texted back with practically no hesitation. Let me know when you get there.

I will, I finally wrote. Xoxo. Then I put my phone on airplane mode, stuffed it in my pocket, and steeled myself for the lonely hours ahead.

The weather when I landed was particularly nasty. A lot of snow was coming down, but it wasn't very cold, so it had turned into a muddy slippery slush. At the same time, the wind was gusting pretty hard, so I had to turn up my collar and try to shield my face. All I could think was how I should have gone with Chad to San Diego.

"Scott!" Mom said when she picked me up at the curb. "Honey, I'm so glad you're here!" And she proceeded to smother me with kisses.

"Hi Mom," I said.

"Can I take your bag?"

"O-oh no," I said, "I've got it. But thanks."

We both got in the car, and she turned the ignition. "I was so worried you wouldn't make it," she said. "I'd been hearing about all those canceled flights. And I knew you weren't too keen on coming at all--"

"Well," I said, "it's just... I've been busy."

"With your fraternity, you mean?"

"I mean yeah, that's part of it--"

"They're not mistreating you, are they?"

"What? No. Besides, I can take care of myself."

"Well, I just hear about these things on the news, like wild parties where people get hurt--"

"Omigod, nobody is getting hurt!"

"I just worry about you, that's all. You're still my little boy."

I sighed. Mom had a way of exasperating me in a way that no one else could. I didn't want to invite more of her scrutiny, so I just stared out at the road.

"Anyway, you haven't missed much around here," she said. "You heard about Peggy Fox, right?"

I turned back from the window. Mrs. Fox was Erica's mom. "What about her?" I asked as casually as I could.

"Her lupus is getting worse," Mom said. "Apparently she's having trouble with her kidneys now. And she's always exhausted...." She shook her head. "I feel so bad for that woman. She's been through so much."

"Yeah," I said.

"You know, while you're in town, it may not be a bad idea to go see her," she said. "I'm sure Erica would love to see you too."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "Why would Erica want to see me?"

"Well you know," she said, "maybe moral support...."

"Oh for crying out loud, Mom." I fiddled with my seatbelt. "I can see where Amy gets this stuff from."

"I'm just saying, it's the holidays. I think it would be nice."

"Point taken," was all I could bring myself to say.

By the time we got back to the house, the wind had let up, but the snow was coming down as hard as ever. Amy hadn't arrived yet, so Dad was the only one there. We exchanged the usual hugs, and we chatted for a minute. Then I took my suitcase to my room.

I felt a pang of guilt as I opened my bedroom door. I felt like I was returning to the scene of my crimes. I looked over at my bed, where I'd had my anonymous hookups. I dreaded the thought of sleeping there all week, but I didn't have a choice. I could never explain to my family why I'd want to sleep somewhere else.

Just then, my phone buzzed with a text: Just landed, Chad wrote. Did you get in ok?

Yeah, I wrote back. We just got home.

Cool, he wrote. I'm about to run the gauntlet with my dad. Wish me luck.

I took a deep breath. Good luck, I wrote. If you want to talk, call me.

I will, he wrote, and he added an emoji.

"Scott," Mom called from the other room, "are you staying for supper?"

I stuffed my phone in my pocket. "W-what?"

"Well, I'm just asking," she said as she peeked in the door. "I'm sure you have plenty of friends you want to see--"

"Not now," I said. "I mean, I uh... I'm staying in tonight."

Mom nodded and headed back to the kitchen. She ended up making her famous macaroni casserole, which was my favorite comfort food. I'm guessing she was trying to make me feel at home. The scene around the dinner table looked like Martha Stewart shit, except of course what was going through my mind.

"So," Dad said, "how are your classes going?"

"Okay I guess."

"What does that mean?"

I debated how to answer. I didn't want to open a can of worms, but I also didn't want to lie-- at least not about that. "I, uh...." I swallowed a bite of casserole. "I mean, I'm not really into them."

"Well, you're just starting out," he said. "The good stuff probably won't start till around your second year of law school."

"That's just it," I said. "I'm not really sure I want that."

Dad frowned. "What?"

"I mean, I know you want me to be a lawyer, but... it's not really my thing."

"You need to build a career."

"But why does it need to look like yours?" I asked. "Pre-law isn't even a real major. I mean, even if I did decide to go to law school, I wouldn't need this to get in. So why commit to it now?"

"Well," Dad said, "if you want to make a change, you'll need to do it soon. Otherwise you might not graduate on time-- and hell if I'm paying for an extra semester."

Mom cleared her throat. "I can't say I'm surprised," she said. "When you had your internship last summer, your mind always seemed to be somewhere else."

I didn't know what to say to that. She wasn't wrong-- after all, I'd basically spent that summer chasing boys-- but I shuddered to think of all the things she might've picked up on.

"Anyway, if you weren't doing that," she said, "what would you rather be doing instead?"

"I-I... what?"

"Do you have another major in mind?"

I tried to calm my nerves. She was still talking about school-- or at least I thought she was. "I don't know," I said. "I'm just trying to figure things out."

"Well, I do agree you should be your own person," she said, "and you should always do what makes you happy."

I chewed a mouthful of casserole, then swallowed. "Fair enough," I said.

It felt like hours before I could retreat to my room. When I finally got the chance, I took a deep breath and laid down on my bed. I just laid there for a minute, till I finally texted Chad: How did it go?

Chad texted back: It was ok. Dad's still acting weird. Taking it one step at a time.

I'm sorry, I wrote back.

How about u?

I wanted to tell him about my awkward dinner, but under the circumstances, I decided not to. I miss you, was all I said.

Chad seemed to hesitate for a few seconds. Are u alone right now?

I didn't know how to respond. Yeah....

The next thing I knew, Chad sent me a full-body nude. The picture was downright breathtaking: he didn't have a stitch of clothing on, yet he was staring right into the camera. The focus was aimed between his legs, where he had his hand on his cock, and his dildo of me was embedded in his hole. You kind of interrupted me, he wrote. Not that I'm complaining.

"Holy shit," I said out loud. I got up from my bed and locked the door; I knew I was going against my mom's rules, but at that point I didn't care.

By the time I got back to my bed, a Skype call was already coming through. I picked up as fast as I could, and I got treated to a live image of Chad. "Hello sexy," he said.

"Wow," I said, "you look so hot right now."

"Well, I was thinking of you," he said, "and since you can't be here in person, I went for the next-best thing." He patted the base of his dildo; the rest of it was still inside him.

I couldn't help touching myself. "Don't let me stop you," I said.

"You're not. I was just watching porn on my phone... this is way better." He waved his finger at me. "How about you take those clothes off and join me?"

 

[briacon429]

I positioned my phone against my pillow. Then I stood up and unzipped my hoodie.

"Go slow," he said. "I want to have fun with this."

I pulled off my hoodie, and I twirled it around like I was doing a striptease. Then I tossed it aside, and I peeled off the t-shirt underneath.

"Oh yeah," Chad said as he shoved the dildo deeper inside him. "Let me see that cock."

I undid my fly and gave him a glimpse of what was inside-- not that he didn't already know it. Then I gyrated my hips, and I slowly pulled my jeans down an inch at a time.

"Fuck," Chad was saying. "I want to stick my dick in that so bad...."

I let my jeans and underwear fall to the floor. I pulled off my socks, and I waved my cock in front of the camera.

"Mm," he said. "Now go get your dildo."

I jumped for my suitcase and rummaged through my clothes. Then I pulled out my replica of Chad. The resemblance was pretty uncanny. Its cockhead was a little harder than the real thing, and the color was a little too uniform. Generally though, it looked and felt like the dick I knew and loved.

"Go ahead," he said. "Put me inside you."

I lubed up, then sat on the bed and positioned the dildo by my hole. I stared into the camera as I slowly pushed the dildo up my ass. "Yeah baby," I said without thinking.

"That's it," Chad said. "You like my dick in there?"

"You know I do."

"Now keep going," he said. "I want to watch that ass get fucked."

"The feeling's mutual."

"What?"

"I want to watch you play with me, the same way I'm playing with you," I said. "It's only fair."

"Okay deal," he said as he pulled his dildo partway out, then shoved it back in. I could tell from his face that he was loving it.

I tried to match his rhythm. I wanted it to feel like we were really in bed together, instead of thousands of miles apart. The faster we pumped our dildos, the better it felt.

Chad started touching his cock again. He was closer to orgasm than I was, and his breaths were coming faster and faster.

"Go ahead," I said. "Fucking bust. Like when you're cumming in me."

"You're gonna make me cum too fast--"

"I want you to," I said.

Chad stroked himself for a few seconds longer, but then his chest started to heave. I still had a good view of his hole, and I saw it clamp down on the dildo. "O-o-oh yeah," he gasped, and then he started shooting.

I shoved my dildo deeper inside me, and I felt it scrape by my prostate. A new wave of pleasure rippled through me. The sensations were way more intense than I'd expected.

"Yeah baby," he said, "keep giving me a show."

I laid back so my ass was in front of the camera. He could see from my hole to my cock, but he couldn't see much else. I guided the dildo with one hand, and jerked myself off with the other.

"That's so fucking hot... I want to watch it spurting out of your dick...."

I looked back at my phone, and I saw Chad watching with rapt attention. His chest was streaked with cum, and his dildo was still inside him, but he seemed to have only one thing on his mind. I couldn't take it anymore; I just let out a gasp as my orgasm overtook my body. Then I jizzed all over myself.

"Yeah," he said, "now eat that cum for me."

I finished pumping, and I sat back up on the bed. I'd never eaten my own cum before, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. But I was prepared to do anything for Chad.

"Go ahead," he said. "Pretend it's mine."

I scooped up most of the juices on my chest, brought my hand to my mouth, and licked my hand clean. It actually didn't feel as weird as I'd feared. I'd always known my cum was creamier than his-- Chad's had more of a watery consistency, and it tended to shoot further-- but the taste wasn't all that different.

Chad was basically doing the same thing. He sucked on each of his cum-covered fingers. Then he licked his lips and swallowed. "Mm," he said. "That was fucking awesome."

"You want to do that again?" I asked. "Maybe in the morning?"

"Baby," he said, "I think we're gonna have to."

And we did.

It wasn't always easy to find time together, especially with the family stuff we were juggling. A few times I just used my dildo on myself, without involving Chad. I found myself loving how it felt: it wasn't quite as intense as a real fuck, but the afterglow was pretty much the same. It still sent endorphins coursing through my blood, and it gave me that satisfying feeling of my sphincter stretched out. The lube made my ass cheeks slide past each other as I walked.

Outwardly, of course, I didn't let on at all. On Thanksgiving Day, when my aunt and uncle came over, their dog kept trying to sniff my butt. I had to wonder if he knew what was up.

"Smokey!" Uncle Todd said, and he snapped his fingers. "Come here. Don't be bothering him."

"He's okay," I said.

Smokey ran in a circle around Todd, then went to greet Amy. Meanwhile, Aunt Rachel came to give me a hug. "How have you been?" she asked.

"I'm good," I said, "same ol' same ol'...." I knew that last part was a lie, but I didn't see any way around it.

By now I'd gotten pretty adept at steering conversations in the direction I wanted. We chatted about stuff like election results, movies, and how the Bears were doing compared to the Lions. But my mind kept wandering back to Chad, and what he must be doing at that moment. I knew he was going through a lot, between his homophobic dad and his parents' marital problems. I was dying to help him somehow, but I knew my hands were tied.

After dinner, my family followed our old tradition of fighting over the TV. We eventually agreed to put on Spider-Man, but to be honest, the movie was almost incidental. We were so stuffed with turkey that most of us just needed a nap.

The Green Goblin had just finished attacking Times Square when my phone buzzed. At first I thought it was Chad, but then I saw it was Johan.

I heard ur in town, Johan wrote. Want to meet up sometime?

I debated what to tell him. I held my phone close so no one else could see it. Can't, I wrote. I have a boyfriend now.

Johan took a few minutes to respond. Congrats. Then, a minute later, he added: That's cool.

Thx, I wrote, though I could tell he was disappointed. I knew Johan had his share of hangups. I assumed he was still doing Grindr hookups, though it wasn't my business anymore. As far as I knew, he'd never had a boyfriend of his own, at least not a serious one.

Then it occurred to me: how did Johan know I was there? I assumed Amy must've told him, but that raised a bunch more questions. How did I come up in the conversation? Did the two of them talk a lot? Did she know Johan was gay? And most importantly, did he tell her anything he shouldn't have?

"I don't see his appeal," Mom said.

I looked up from my phone. I realized she was talking about the movie.

"It's Tobey Maguire," Rachel said. "You saw him shirtless earlier--"

"Andrew Garfield is more my type," Amy said.

Rachel clucked her tongue. "Better not tell Emma Stone."

I had my own thoughts on the subject, but of course I wasn't about to share them. I needed a moment to myself, so I got up and pretended I was going to take a leak.

I shut the bathroom door behind me, and I did my best to relax. I stared into the mirror, fixed my hair, and took a deep breath.

I lingered longer than I probably should have. When I stepped back outside, I found Amy waiting for me.

"Scott," she said, "who is Chad?"

I felt like a thunderbolt had hit me. "What?" I asked. "Why?"

Amy handed me my phone. I realized I'd left it lying out in the open. "He just texted you," she said. "I think I'm the only one who saw it. He says he can't wait to see you, and-- how'd he put it?-- he's 'so fucking horny' for you."

I suddenly felt naked, and not in a good way. "Uh, well, he's nobody," I said without thinking, "I-I mean he's just a gay guy I know."

Amy frowned. "That looks a lot like sexting to me."

At first I thought she'd seen my other texts. Then I realized the phone was still locked, though it didn't make me feel any better. I pulled her into the bathroom and shut the door behind us. "For fuck's sake, Amy--"

"Are you sexting a guy?"

"No," I said. I struggled to keep my voice down. "I-I mean he just has a crush on me or something--"

"You're a shitty fucking liar. You know that?"

"Oh come on--"

"Are you gay?"

I didn't know what to say. Amy had me cornered. I wanted to deny everything, but somehow I got tongue-tied. "W-well, you know, uh--"

"Don't lie to me."

"Look, he's just a college buddy," I said. "Don't make it a bigger deal than it is, okay?"

"A bigger deal?" she asked. "You're my little brother."

"Yeah, and you're a fucking snoop! This is none of your business."

Amy didn't answer at first. Then she ran her hands through her hair. "Listen," she said. "I don't care if you're gay. I mean I do, but... only because I care about you, and I want you to be happy--"

"It's not your problem."

"I never said it was a problem," she said. "Besides, what the hell did you think was going to happen? You can't keep this a secret forever, and why would you even want to?"

"You don't get it," I said. "You don't fucking get it, okay?"

Amy chewed her lip for a second. Then she sat down and sighed. "Listen," she said, "I'm not going to tell Mom and Dad. That's your job. But I think you owe it to yourself to do it while you're here. Something like this needs to be done in person--"

"Just let me handle it," I said.

"Okay fine," Amy said. "But you know what? Mom and Dad care about you too. You've got nothing to be afraid of."

I didn't know what to say. Part of me was furious at her, but part of me wanted to hug her as tight as I could. My mind was going in so many directions, I didn't know what to do.

"So this Chad," she finally said, "tell me about him."

I scoffed. "What do you want to know?"

"Well, for starters," she said, "how did you two meet?"

I gave the shortest answer I could. "He's in my fraternity," I said.

"So last summer," she said, "when you were staying out all night... were you going to see him?"

I felt another wave of embarrassment. I didn't want to tell her about my slut phase. "N-no," I said, "I mean, he's not from around here."

"So where's he from?"

I sighed. "What's with all the questions?"

"I'm just asking," Amy said. "I want to make sure my little brother's okay."

I rolled my eyes. I wanted to point out she was barely older than me, but I decided not to. "Okay," I said. "You want to know? He's from San Diego. Well, basically. He's a Navy brat."

Amy nodded. "What's he like?"

"Hell, I dunno," I said. "What kind of a question is that?"

"Well, do you like him?"

I didn't know how to answer at first. "I mean... yeah," I finally said. "He's cool."

"Does he make you happy?"

"Now don't start with the sappy shit," I said. "It's not like that, okay?"

"Oh my God, you are such a man!" Amy said. "That's the only thing that matters. The only thing!"

"Well, maybe we don't think of it that way," I said. "We just hang out. We do normal stuff. We watch football and shit--"

"And you have sex."

I practically froze. I couldn't believe she'd just said that.

"Am I wrong?" Amy asked.

"Well I didn't say that, I-I mean I guess you're not wrong--"

"So then what's the big deal?"

I gritted my teeth. "Look, I don't want to talk about this, okay? At least not right now. I'll... well, I'll figure out a way to tell Mom and Dad. You've just got to let me do it my way."

Amy shrugged. "Fine," she said, "if you say so."

 

[Campisi]

I could barely grasp what was happening. I was about to have sex with Chad. It was exactly what I'd fantasized about, yet now that my dream was coming true, I had no idea what to expect.

Chad pulled my legs up till my feet pressed against his shoulders. Then he rubbed his cock against my ass. "You ready for this?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said without thinking.

Chad eased himself into me. I only managed to take his cockhead before my body tensed up, and I couldn't take any more. He waited for a second, then pushed a little further.

"Ow!" I gasped. "Oh my God...."

"Fucking take it," he said. With that, he thrust the rest of the way inside me, and pain shot through my body. "Oh fuck, this is tight," he said. "Oh shit!"

I couldn't say anything at first, but Chad kept going. He started pumping away, and as he got into a rhythm, my body relaxed. The pain started going away, and waves of pleasure started to replace it.

"Shit, Scott," Chad was saying. "That's the best fucking ass—"

"Oh God," was all I could say. I'd never felt anything like this before. Sex with Chad was so much better than what I'd imagined. It felt better than jacking off or even fucking a girl. Each time he rammed into me, I felt a wave of ecstasy blast through my body. I felt like I could've busted right then, though I also didn't want the sensations to stop.

I was determined to return the favor, so I started working his dick with my body. I moved my hips in a circle, and Chad let out a groan. Then I tightened my sphincter around his cock, and I felt his body respond.

"You like that?" I asked.

"Oh fuck yeah," he said as he pounded me harder.

I grabbed Chad's ass and tried to pull him deeper inside me. He was already as deep as he could go, but somehow I still wanted more. I looked down and watched his manhood thrust in and out of me. I loved the feeling of his twin globes in my hands, and I loved the way his muscles flexed as he fucked me.

"Goddamn," he was saying. "This shit feels so good. I fucking love this tight ass."

I was dying to get off, so I reached for my cock. Chad grabbed my hands, yanked them away, and shook his head at me. "What the fuck?" I asked.

“I’m not done with you yet," he said as he pulled his dick out of me.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

Chad climbed on top of me. "Just shut the fuck up."

I didn't dare move a muscle. Chad grabbed the lube bottle, squeezed out some on his hands, and lathered it on my cock. He lowered his body on top of mine, and he reached behind himself to position my dick against his ass. Then he took a deep breath and backed himself up, and he took my cock right into his hole.

"Oh fuck," he gasped as his body tensed up. I knew what he must be feeling, so I tried to help him relax. I ran my hands across his chest, and I started pumping into him. His body seemed to respond, and his pained expression melted away. "Fuck me, you bitch!"

I put my hands on his mouth, because I didn't want the others to hear. He shook his head and pushed my hands away.

"Oh yeah," he gasped. "I want you to fuck my ass up."

"What the fuck do you think I'm doing?"

Chad didn't seem to respond. He just bounced up and down on top of me. His asshole was so tight that it seemed to be gripping my cock. At first I worried I was being too rough, but he actually seemed to want it that way. "Oh fuck, I love that," he said, "it feels so fucking hot—"

I thrust deeper into him, and he let out a gasp. Then I pulled back a little, and I shifted my body. I couldn't believe how much Chad seemed to love it. "You want more of that dick?" I asked.

Chad could barely talk. "Y-yeah...."

"What the fuck did you say?"

"Goddammit, I said yes!"

"Then fucking take it," I said as I slammed back into his ass.

Chad threw his head back, and his mouth fell wide open. He seemed to have lost all control of his body. "Oh Scott... don't stop fucking me... oh shit that feels so good—" He grabbed his own cock and started pumping it. His eyes were clamped shut, and his breaths were coming in short gasps.

Suddenly Chad's chest started to heave, and I felt his ass tighten around my cock. It was enough to send me over the edge. I unloaded into his ass, just as Chad's cum started shooting between us.

A shot hit the wall behind me, another hit my chest, and two more splashed on my chin. Both of us seemed to be in ecstasy, and we both had to stifle the sounds coming out of our mouths.

Then, slowly but surely, our orgasms subsided. Chad let out a big sigh and plopped down on top of me.

"That was fucking awesome," he said.

I didn't know what to say. "Yeah," I replied. "Yeah it was."

My cock was still hard inside him, so I could feel my cum all over his innards. Still, I didn't want to move. My whole body felt so good that I could've laid there all night.

"You know I'm not gay," Chad said.

I could feel Chad's cum dripping off my shoulder. I frowned and looked into his eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"You've never heard of fuck buddies?" he asked. "If something feels good, just do it. It's cool."

I wasn't sure what to think about that. I sat up and pulled my dick out of his ass. "Are you saying—"

"Don't over think this shit," he replied. "This was a blast. Literally. We should do it again." Then he leaned over and kissed me one more time.

Super super sexy hot

 

[openfly]

Super super sexy hot

huh?

 

[briacon429]

I didn't want to come out right then, and I didn't like the way Amy was forcing my hand. But I also knew that if she hadn't picked up my phone, then someone else could've seen it-- most notably my mom-- which would've been even worse.

Only one thing was clear. Between my family and the Kap Eps, I just couldn't avoid the truth anymore. The real question was how to go about it.

I stayed up late watching coming-out stories on YouTube. There were an awful lot of videos out there, since almost all the gay vloggers had done an episode about it. Nick and Jay-- the couple who kept traveling the world-- had a pretty sad story: their families had practically disowned them. The guy who called himself the Hillbilly Homo had actually had a much easier time. Other videos ran the gamut: some guys got emotional as they talked, but others were totally relaxed. Practically all of them said they felt better in the end, and I could only hope I'd feel the same way.

I also spent a lot of time talking to Chad. He gave me more details about his talks with his family, both when he'd originally told them, and in the months that had followed. It sounded like his mom had come around, but his dad was still struggling. Yet Chad kept his chin up, like a lot of the vloggers.

I needed encouragement more than anything else; and in that department, he seemed to know exactly what to say. He told me I could do it, and that I'd be fine, and that he'd be there for me no matter what happened. With every word he said, I felt myself loving him more and more.

Finally, on my last night at home, I worked up the courage to do it. We'd just gotten back from the mall: my mom had wanted to go shopping, but the stores were too crowded, so we'd gone to see a movie instead.

I sat down in the kitchen. I didn't say anything at first, but I did look over at Amy, and she looked right back. Mom was pulling leftovers out of the fridge; she seemed to have no idea what was about to hit her.

"So," I finally said, "about that school stuff we were talking about... there's something else I haven't told you."

Mom didn't flinch at first. "Oh?" she said. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's not about school, exactly. I mean, it's actually about me...." My words suddenly caught in my throat. I felt a weird mix of nervousness, embarrassment, and confusion. I'd thought about this moment so many times, and I'd assumed I was prepared. But I was surprised at how hard it was to actually go through with it.

Mom set down her tupperware. "Are you all right?"

I took a deep breath, and I choked down a lump in my throat. I knew my face was turning red, which only made me feel worse.

Amy put her hand on my shoulder. "Scott...."

I pushed her hand away, and I blinked away my tears. Then I forced myself to get it together, and I blurted out the words I'd been trying to avoid. "I'm gay."

The room went silent. It was almost like none of us wanted to breathe. Mom seemed to be caught completely off guard; she just stared into my eyes.

"I have a boyfriend," I finally said. "That's why I haven't told you much lately."

Mom cleared her throat. "Y-you're saying you don't like girls? I mean, at all?"

"Not like that," I said. I'd expected to feel a weight off my shoulders, but the results were pretty mixed. It did feel liberating to tell them the truth, and to know I wouldn't need to hide anymore. But it was still painfully awkward.

"Well," she said, then paused again. She seemed to be choking back tears herself. "How long have you known?"

"I dunno," I said. "I mean, definitely the past year or so... I guess if I'm being honest with myself, probably longer than that. But I didn't want to admit it till this summer--"

"You mean the summer you spent here?"

I took a deep breath. I really didn't want to talk about that. Revealing my sexuality was nerve-wracking enough. I couldn't bear to admit I'd slept around.

"I mean, you never mentioned anything the whole time--"

"I didn't want to," I said, "at least till the time was right."

"I'm your mother," she snapped. "You can tell me anything. Absolutely anything, anytime. Understand?"

"I didn't mean it like that. It's just--"

"It's just what?"

I sighed. I felt like I was letting her down in a very big way. She'd given me so much advice growing up, going back to childhood lessons about the birds and the bees. But she'd always assumed I was straight: she'd told me how complicated girls were, and what would happen if I ever knocked someone up. Occasionally she'd talked about meeting the right woman and settling down. It was weird to think she'd been on the wrong track the whole time, which meant a lot of her advice was pretty much useless. "Never mind," I finally said.

"Well, I...." She turned to my dad. "Don't you have something to say?"

Dad seemed weirded out too, but he seemed to brush it off. "Well, he did like Judy Garland as a kid--"

"David!" she said. "What's the matter with you?"

"Well it's true," he said. "Remember how much he made us watch Wizard of Oz?"

"Your child just told you he's gay, and that's the first thing you think of?"

I put up my hands. "Mom, it's fine. Just let it go."

She turned to Amy. "So what about you?"

"I already told him what I think," Amy said.

Mom seemed surprised at that answer. She looked back at me. "You told Amy already?"

"It wasn't my doing," I said. "She figured it out."

"How?"

I rolled my eyes. "Mom, is that really important right now?"

A tear rolled down her cheek. She tried to stop it, but she ended up just smearing her mascara. "Look," she finally said. "Everything about you is important to me. My job is to take care of you... it always has been, since the day you were born, and even before that."

"Oh geez Mom--"

"I just... I want you to know how much I love you," she said, "and that's never going to change."

I sighed. My mother had always had a way of driving me crazy, yet somehow she still managed to say the right things. "I love you too," I finally said.

She looked around the kitchen. "I'm sorry," she said, "I wasn't expecting this."

My dad cleared his throat. "Not that there's anything wrong with that!"

"David!" she said. "Now is not the time for a Seinfeld impression!"

"Was that wrong?"

Mom turned back to me. "Listen," she said, "I don't want you to think you have anything to fear."

"I don't," I said, "and I'm still the same person--"

"I'm just saying, if you meet someone special--"

"He already has a boyfriend," Amy said. "Remember?"

"What?"

Amy shot my mom a look, as if the answer was obvious. "He said so himself, just a minute ago."

Mom blinked a few times. She was obviously struggling to process what she'd heard. "Is it someone I know?" she finally asked.

"No," I said, "I met him at school."

"Well, what's his name?"

"Chad," I said.

"Does he treat you right?"

"Oh come on Mom--"

"I think it's a fair question. If you've got someone in your life, I want to know details."

"Well yeah...." I sighed. "I-I mean, he's cool."

"So when do we get to meet him?"

"Oh for crying out loud--"

"Do you at least have a picture of him?"

I gritted my teeth and pulled out my phone. I actually hadn't taken many pictures of Chad-- and some weren't safe for public consumption-- so instead I pulled up Facebook. I tapped Chad's profile pic and handed over my phone.

Mom seemed to stare at the picture. It wasn't the most current picture, but it was a good one, showing Chad at a Laker game. "He looks nice," Mom finally said.

Amy clucked her tongue. "Wow," she said. "How do you get to land better-looking guys than I do?"

"Har har," I said.

"Now," Mom said, "I just want you to be happy."

At first I didn't know how to respond. "I'm fine," I finally said. "You've got nothing to worry about." But I privately wondered if that last part was true.

I could tell she needed time to digest. She didn't seem upset, at least not in the usual sense, but she did seem overwhelmed. I kind of regretting dumping this on her right before I left, but on the other hand, there was no perfect time to do it.

I ended up tossing and turning for most of that night. I just couldn't stop thinking, no matter how hard I tried. At one point I texted Chad, but I never got a response; I knew he was probably fast asleep at that hour.

Eventually I threw my covers aside, got on my computer, and started surfing my favorite gay sites. They all had my username listed as RJ630. I was tempted to change that, and start using my real name. But after giving it some thought, I decided against it. After all, it was one thing for people to know I was gay; it was another to know what sex toys I owned, or which X-rated threads I'd commented on.

I ended up going to Nick and Jay's page, and I sent them a quick note. I'd never e-mailed a vlogger before, but I wanted them to know how much their coming-out story had helped me. I figured they got e-mails like this all the time, and that I'd most likely never hear back.

In the meantime, I was getting pretty horny. I hadn't masturbated at all since Thanksgiving Day. I knew I was on the verge of blue balls, and I needed a release. So I treated myself to some porn.

I found a video of Flynn, Vince, Logan, and Nate all fucking each other. I loved how it combined the porn stars Chad had introduced me to, plus the first guys I'd ever jacked off to. All four of them were damned hot, even when they still had their clothes on. Then, when they started stripping down, I couldn't take my eyes off their cocks and their asses. It was a helluva lot of skin on display, at least for one bed, and I enjoyed every inch.

I got naked myself, and I started pulling my pud. All I could think was how badly I wanted dick, and how soon I could actually get some. I couldn't wait to hear the sound of Chad's voice, or to feel his manly arms around me.

Onscreen, Vince and Nate were both getting reamed doggy-style, so their packages swung back and forth beneath them. The camera zoomed in on Flynn's ass as he pounded away. Then the guys switched positions, and Logan got spit-roasted between Nate and Flynn. I found myself feeling a whole new hunger; I'd never experienced a full-on orgy like that, and I wanted to try it sometime.

My orgasm crept up on me. I felt a sudden burst of pleasure, and before I could do anything, my multi-day load blasted out of me. I had to aim fast to keep from making a mess. One shot hit me in the face, but then I put up my free hand, and I managed to catch the rest.

Once I finished cumming, I let out a deep breath as my muscles relaxed. I grabbed a few tissues and cleaned myself up. Finally I turned off my computer and got back under the covers. I could already tell that my restlessness was gone, and that I could hopefully doze off. And sure enough, within a few minutes, I'd drifted into a deep and restful sleep.

 

[briacon429]

The next morning, once I finally rolled out of bed, all I could think was how badly I wanted to leave. It only took me a few minutes to get ready, and to throw the last few clothes in my suitcase. My flight was still hours away, but I kept checking my watch as if I thought I'd miss it.

When Mom drove me to the airport, she was not about to just drop me off at the curb. She insisted on bringing Dad and Amy along, parking the car, and following me into the terminal. "Now Scott," she said, "I don't want you to get your heart broken. Remember what I said: you can tell me anything. And you can call me day or night--"

"Mom, I'm not going to call you to talk about boys."

"I know more about them than you think," she said. "I wasn't born yesterday, you know." She gave me an extra-tight hug, and she kissed me on the cheek. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Mom," I said. Then I stepped back and hugged my dad.

"Have a good flight," was the only thing he said.

Last up was Amy. Part of me was still pissed at her, but another part felt like it was water under the bridge. She ended up giving me a big hug-- on par with my mom's-- and she whispered in my ear. "Congratulations," she said. "I'm really proud of you."

I didn't quite know what to say. "Thanks," I finally said. Then I got into the security line. I was hoping the others would head home, just in case my luggage got flagged again. But Mom in particular refused to move.

Fortunately, I got through security without any problems. I could still see the others in the distance, so I gave them one last wave. Then I headed for my gate.

I wanted to call Chad right then and there, but I knew he was in the air himself. So I kept my thoughts to myself as I boarded the plane, stowed my stuff, and fastened my seatbelt.

Just before takeoff, I checked my e-mail one last time. Nick and Jay had written me back. They thanked me for my note, and they gave me a few more words of encouragement. I wanted to respond, but I didn't have time. I just turned off my phone and sat back.

I finally lost it when we reached the head of the runway, the engines started to roar, and the plane went barreling forward. I knew I'd crossed the point of no return. A few seconds later, when we launched into the sky, I got a panoramic view of the world I'd grown up in. I could see the forests where I'd played as a kid, and the highways where I'd first learned to drive. We passed over the river where Erica and I hung out, especially when we were feeling romantic, where we'd talked for hours and looked up at the stars.

Then, just as quickly, all that stuff disappeared from view. Ahead of me lay a whole new world, one that I still didn't fully understand. I was excited, terrified, and relieved, somehow all at the same time. Tears came rolling down my cheeks, though I did my best to hide them. I still couldn't quite grasp the magnitude of what had happened; I just knew that my life would never be the same. I kept counting the minutes for the rest of the flight, knowing I was getting closer and closer to Chad.

As soon as I stepped off the plane, there he was. By then, I just couldn't hold back anymore. My body collided with Chad's, and we started making out. We probably scandalized a few people, but at that point I didn't care.

Finally I pulled back and looked Chad in the eye. "I never want to go through that again," I said.

"You don't have to."

"What about Christmas?"

"For Christmas, you can come with me." He took my hand and wrapped his fingers around mine. "Besides... my mom says she wants to meet you."

I frowned. "You told her about me?"

"Of course. Didn't you tell your family too?"

"Well yeah, but I mean... I thought you didn't want to tell them any more than you had to."

"I didn't."

"What about your dad?"

"He's not going to be there," he said. "He's going to Bahrain."

"Bahrain?" I asked. "What's he doing there?"

"Fuck if I know," he said. "Some military thing, which is probably classified. Point is... I don't think we need to worry about him. At least not for now."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. I wanted him to elaborate on that last part, but I knew I'd need to be careful. I just nodded, and we headed back to the car. "You know," I said, "I guess we should tell the Kap Eps about us... I mean, the ones who don't already know...."

"What do you think they're gonna say?"

At first I mulled over my words, but then I shrugged. "You know what? I don't care what they think anymore. I-I, well, when Hunter and Drew walked in on us, I thought it was such a big deal... but now? I mean, fuck, we just made out in public. And you even said yourself: what do we have to hide?"

Chad chewed his lips, then nodded. "Okay," he said as he turned the ignition.

We didn't waste any time getting back to the frat house. Most of the other Kap Eps were already there, so we figured it was as good a time as ever. We went to the living room, where a bunch of the guys were watching TV.

Finally Chad cleared his throat. "We've got something to tell you."

Only about half the guys looked up. Hunter and Drew clearly knew what was coming. Most of the other guys didn't react at all.

"Scott and I are a couple," Chad said, "and we have been for months." He looked over at me, bit his lip, and looked back at the others. "I just... well, we thought you should know."

Marcos laughed. "I knew it!" he said, and then he turned to Ryan. "You owe me twenty bucks."

"What the hell?" Brody asked. "You mean you've been banging this whole time?"

"Dude--"

"That's fucking gross!"

I cringed at those words, but I didn't say anything.

"Leave them alone," Justin said.

"Don't you tell me what to do, you fucking freshman--"

"I like guys too," Hunter said. "So if you have anything to say about that, you can say it right to me."

"Me too," Drew said.

"Don't forget about us," Marcos said.

Brody looked around the room. "What is this, a fucking ambush?"

"Stop being such a homophobe," Marcos said. "Besides, you knew Ryan and I were gay from the start."

Brody's nostrils flared, and he got up from the couch. "You're calling me a homophobe?"

Marcos stood up to face him. "Well, if the shoe fits--"

"Fuck you."

"So you think being gay is gross?"

"Dude--"

"Because that's what I heard you say. So unless I'm fucking hearing things, that makes you a fucking sack of shit."

"Who's a sack of shit?"

"You want to take this outside?"

I worried this was getting out of hand. "Guys," I said, "just calm down--"

"Oh, I'm calm," Brody said, "but this is bullshit. And it's not what I signed up for." And then he stormed away.

"Yeah, fuck you too," Marcos said.

We heard a door slam in the distance. Then Luke turned to us. "Jesus Christ," he said. "What's his problem?"

"He's probably jealous," Hunter said.

"He tried to hook up with Kaylee last night," Justin said. "She turned him down flat... which is saying a lot."

"Just ignore him," Ryan said. "The rest of us are happy for you."

Chad and I exchanged glances. "Thanks," was all I could say.

I'd always known Brody was an asshole, so I tried not to let his reaction get to me. Chad seemed to shrug him off too. I just took solace in the way the other guys stood up for us. It didn't seem to matter which ones had known about us, or which ones apparently suspected us, or which ones were surprised. As far as they were concerned, we all shared a bond, and we needed to be there for each other-- so if Brody didn't like it, then fuck him.

I was tempted to seriously mess with the guy. Since Brody seemed so grossed out, I thought it would be fun to throw TMI at him. I wanted tell him how much I loved eating Chad's ass, and exactly how it tasted. I could tell him what it was like to slide my dick in there, or for that matter, how it felt to take Chad up my chute. He'd probably be most freaked out about cum, in which case I could taunt him in excruciating detail, like where we'd jizzed on and in each other's bodies, or how it looked, felt, and tasted. The possibilities were practically endless.

As it turned out, though, I never got the chance-- at least not that night. I didn't know where Brody had stormed off to, but wherever it was, he stayed away for hours. In the meantime, Chad and I just kicked back and chilled: we gorged on nachos, downed a few drinks, and generally had a good time. The others acted like nothing had happened, as if our announcement wasn't that big a deal.

I was about to head back to my place when I realized I didn't need to. Now that we were out, I could finally spend the night in Chad's bed. And the timing was perfect, because it was just what I needed-- in more ways than one.

As soon as we shut the door behind us, we put our arms around each other, and we just stood there for a second. Despite all the times we'd held each other, the sensation this time was different. We were alone only because we wanted privacy-- not because we necessarily needed it. There was no more tiptoeing around, no more hiding, and no more shame. We didn't need to watch what we said, or hold back on our body language, or any of that shit. It made me wish I'd come out a lot sooner.

Chad shifted his head, and I felt his breath on my skin. I kissed him on his neck, tenderly at first, and I made my way past his chin. Then he turned to me, and finally my lips met his.

This was no ordinary kiss. For the first time in my life, I understood what the words "better half" meant: I felt complete now that Chad was with me, in welcome contrast to the time we'd been apart. My skin was tingling from my head to my toes, and it felt like my hair was standing on end. I saw the tenderness in Chad's eyes, which gave me the most incredible high.

I was starting to realize how courageous Chad had been. As hard as my coming out had been, I knew Chad's had been a lot harder-- yet he'd worked up the balls to do it months before me. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I wished I could be more like him. He was so much better than me at so many things: he was funnier, more sociable, more athletic, and he seemed to have his shit together way better than I did. Quite frankly, I was surprised he'd even date me, since I thought he was out of my league. Yet here he was, right beside me, which made me feel like the luckiest guy in the world.

"You know," I whispered into his ear, "we're not going to be one of those annoying couples, are we?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, those people who are always drooling over each other and posting shit online to make the rest of us gag...."

"Dude," he said, "what makes you think I turned into a sap?"

"I'm just saying." I ran my hands along his torso. "One thing's for sure: after this week... I don't know how those long-distance people do it."

"Probably more cybersex," he said.

"Yeah, well...." I slid my hand under his shirt, and I felt his bare skin. It was just as intoxicating as ever. Then I pulled his shirt a few inches, kneeled down, and started kissing his abs. "Some things are just better done in person."

"Amen to that," he replied.

I ran my tongue around his bellybutton, then went back to massaging it with my lips. I felt his crotch stiffening up, so I couldn't resist unbuttoning his jeans. Then I reached inside, made my way past his underwear, and started rubbing his cock.

"Oh shit," Chad said as he forced himself to stay standing. "That feels so good...."

I yanked his pants down, pulled his cock out, and gulped it down. It tasted especially delicious that time. I sucked him as hard as I could, and I used my hands to play with his balls. As I bobbed my head up and down, his tip slid back and forth across my tonsils. I caressed him with my tongue, and I tasted a hint of pre-cum. I moved one of my hands along his taint, then started toying with his boyhole.

"Oh Jesus--"

I sucked on him for about a minute longer, but I didn't want him to cum. I took my mouth off of him, then gave him a couple of quick tugs. "Lie down," I said.

Chad pulled off his shirt and his socks, which were the only things he was still wearing. "How about you take your clothes off too?"

I stripped down as fast as I could, grabbed some lube from my suitcase, and smeared it on my pucker. But I wasn't just looking to fuck; I wanted to be more intimate with him than ever.

It felt like everything we did had been taken up a notch. Chad's bed was roomier than mine, plus his sheets were softer, and his pillows were fluffier. Most importantly of all, he seemed that much sexier after what we'd just gone through. I felt like my performance needed to be up to par.

I climbed on top of Chad's body, sat on his lap, and leaned down to kiss him. My boner pressed against his. I moved my body back and forth to make our cocks grind together.

Chad groaned a little. "Oh baby," he whispered. He ran his hands down my back, and then he squeezed my butt.

I moved my body up a few inches, so that my taint caressed his cock. His head brushed past my hole, but I shifted my body so it wouldn't go in. I wasn't sure if I was teasing him, or if I was really teasing myself; either way, he responded how I hoped.

"I want you baby," he said.

"I want you too," I said, "like you couldn't imagine." I gave him another kiss, and as I did, I backed up my body and guided him inside me. I felt his cockhead pop past my ring, and at long last, his shaft started filling me up.

Chad let out a loud sigh, and his body started to tremble. But I forced him to go slow. I wanted to make love in the truest sense of the term.

I started moving back and forth, and I looked back into his big chestnut eyes. He was just as beautiful as the first time I'd laid eyes on him-- even more so, in fact. His nose and mouth fluttered with every breath. His muscles moved back and forth as he thrust into me. I could even feel his blood vessels pumping inside me.

We were unusually quiet that time. We didn't talk dirty because we didn't need to. Chad knew how much I loved his cock, and the rest of him for that matter, so he didn't need me to say so. I, meanwhile, knew how much he dug being in my ass; I could tell from his gasps and his grunts.

I thought of all the things we'd been through, from spring semester through the summer and fall. We'd weathered so many ups and downs, even in the last few days, that I could hardly keep track. I knew there was still more to come, but somehow I didn't mind. I just knew I wanted to go through it together.

Before I knew it, I felt Chad's package start to twitch. His mouth dropped open, and he looked back into my eyes. Then he thrust into me, harder this time, and I felt his dick erupt.

"Fuck yeah," he said as he shot a few more ropes in me. Then he slowed down and finally stopped.

"Finished already?"

"I didn't say that," he replied, and then he started pounding me again. He reached down and started jacking me off as he did it.

I felt my orgasm getting closer and closer. My balls started to contract, and I felt my cum make its way through my tubes. Finally I let out a grunt, and I busted on his chest.

"Oh shit," I gasped.

"Sh," he said. "I'm not through with you yet." He leaned up to kiss me, and I crouched down to meet him. His tongue ran in circles around mine, which drove me even more wild. He was both delicate and forceful, as odd as it sounds, while he kept pounding my ass.

I felt like I was in heaven. Being with Chad had always felt right, but now our lives and our bodies were totally intertwined. I could hardly tell where he ended and I began; yet I still wanted more of him, as if I couldn't get enough.

Chad was clearly going for another orgasm. I wasn't about to complain, especially since I was extra lubed-up from his first one. I wanted to enjoy the ride, but I also wanted to make him cum as hard as I possibly could.

I ended up using every trick at my disposal. I gyrated my ass around, and I clamped my sphincter around him. I positioned myself so that he would hit my prostate, which made my face contort with pleasure, and I knew the sight would get him riled up. I played with all the body parts within reach, from his earlobes to his hole, and I gave him a fresh hickey.

Eventually he started tensing up again. Another wave of euphoria was building inside me. "Keep going," I said, "don't stop...."

Finally both of our bodies went taut, and we both came at once. We had to stifle our screams: I felt Chad's dick spasming inside me, just as I went into spasms of my own. More of my cum shot onto his chest, till his torso was practically covered. My ass felt like it was filled to the brim.

The best part of all was the look on Chad's face. My whole mission was to make him feel good, so the ecstasy in his eyes was the hottest thing I could ask for. I kissed him again, and I felt his heart pounding in perfect synchronization with me. I waited till we'd both caught our breaths, then finally rolled to the side.

I knew Chad's juices were leaking out of me, but at that point I didn't care. I just let out a breath and snuggled up against him. Some of my elation had died down, but it hadn't completely gone away. I couldn't stop thinking that I was with the man I loved, and I didn't care who knew it.

"Yeah baby," he whispered. "I fucking needed that."

"You and me both," I replied.

As I laid there with him, I tried to gauge what all of this was really leading up to. I'd heard about how first loves could be incredibly intense yet didn't usually work out. On the other hand, I'd also heard that when you meet the right person, you just know. I wasn't sure which category we fell into, but I hoped to God it was the latter-- because I never wanted that blissful feeling to end.