Cold reality

[Number 9]

Don’t ask me how it could possibly take me so long to realize how monumentally fucked up 95% of men are. My God, if you have or have had a male SO, please tell me that you were slapped with this same reality at some point.

I’ve been around a long fucking time and I can only guess my senses were dulled down by immersion in the culture. Somehow recently, I was unplugged from the system and I became aware of the catastrophic stupidity that mindlessly bumps about my world like Roombas sporting hardons. Seems like everything most guys do is dictated by fear, lust, or greed. Honestly, you haven’t any idea what is said outside your presence. These are some damaged humans.

Are you aware of it and just look the other way because because you know it’s beyond our ability to evolve or is it maybe that you just feel bad for us? Kinda like feeling bad for something you want to believe is just ignorant rather than stupid like a big dumb dog that sits in a ant bed?

 

[ChanelleNo5]

"Honestly, you haven’t any idea what is said outside your presence."

I have gotten a taste of this when a guy sent a text to me...about me...that was meant for his friends. Brutal.

That said...the shit girls say about guys that they don't know about...

 

[MickeyLee]

I know some hella cool dudes.

Menfolk are not a total scrap job.

Randos are the problem. Anybody can change, some just won't. Randos lack an ability to hold themselves accountable.

 

[Number 9]

"Honestly, you haven’t any idea what is said outside your presence."

I have gotten a taste of this when a guy sent a text to me...about me...that was meant for his friends. Brutal.

That said...the shit girls say about guys that they don't know about...

I want to say I’m sorry you had to experience that from him. While it may have one way to see him for who he was you didn’t deserve it.

I have tried to see past so much of what I see and hear telling myself that you’ll never avoid all the idiots and most are pretty decent. Unfortunately after 40 years of working with the field guys in industry as well as the tech types and engineers, the drain of humanity is pretty much across the board. It’s different from group to group but the intent is all the same.

I had certainly hoped you all were far and away much more evolved but realistically I had nothing to base it on beside idealistic hope.

Even the guys that I thought had the backbone to be different eventually can’t seem to help themselves.

Makes me think of a line from True Detective delivered by Matthew Maconaughey, Human consciousness is actually a tragic misstep in evolution.

sorry, just a shit day. It was too late to pull the question once I realized

 

[Number 9]

I know some hella cool dudes.

Menfolk are not a total scrap job.

Randos are the problem. Anybody can change, some just won't. Randos lack an ability to hold themselves accountable.

It only bothers me how many are actually randos now. So many seem to cover it until out of earshot or on a keyboard. It just seems to be the normalization of deviation and I feel as though the scale has tipped a bit.

and hell I’m ok with a bit of deviation in some ways. Lol

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I'm lucky enough to work with a crew of people consisting mostly of cisgender men that are not complete garbage.

My boss, for example.. one of our patients hugged me awhile back. Innocent enough, right? Well, he tells me boss in Spanish thinking I wouldn't understand "holy shit I just got titty-slapped! I'm gonna go to l take it out on my wife!" My boss quietly told him that he can't talk about me that way, and after the patient left came and let me know that if I'm uncomfortable consulting with him from now on I don't have to. I told him it's fine, I'll do my job. But, no more hugs.

Then I hugged my boss. If he felt some Chi-Chi, good for him. Because he respected me enough to tell everyone what needed to be said when it came down to it.

So, that's my example. Some men are sick fucks. Others? Not so much.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I'm lucky enough to work with a crew of people consisting mostly of cisgender men that are not complete garbage.

My boss, for example.. one of our patients hugged me awhile back. Innocent enough, right? Well, he tells me boss in Spanish thinking I wouldn't understand "holy shit I just got titty-slapped! I'm gonna go to l take it out on my wife!" My boss quietly told him that he can't talk about me that way, and after the patient left came and let me know that if I'm uncomfortable consulting with him from now on I don't have to. I told him it's fine, I'll do my job. But, no more hugs.

Then I hugged my boss. If he felt some Chi-Chi, good for him. Because he respected me enough to tell everyone what needed to be said when it came down to it.

So, that's my example. Some men are sick fucks. Others? Not so much.

Your boss meets minimum standards for being a decent human.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Your boss meets minimum standards for being a decent human.

Oh he is the best humanity has to offer. This is just one example..

 

[EllieP]

I used to work in a very male-dominated industry. I have met a great number of very good men. And I have met a lot of the other type as well.

I used to go to the gym at 5:30 in the morning to avoid crowds, and specifically the type of crowds not there to work out. I had two wonderful guardian angels, ex-Marines who were always there when I was. The knew when to run interference. They could have been my sons. But I was definitely the momma!

My camping buddies are the best friends I could have! We've been through some crap together! And they've never cut me any slack because they know I would be so pissed off if they did. Once after my accident after I had recuperated enough to get back on the creek I had trouble getting my kayak over a root trying to put in. One of them asked me if I was OK or needed help. The look I gave him had him throwing up his arms and turning around to walk away. We both laughed.

But then there's the loudmouth at a party that shuts up when I come into the room. I know he thinks he has the target acquired, but he doesn't have a clue about the defense system.

But I never let the bastards grind me down. The good ones keep me afloat.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Roombas, as a class, are generally more useful day to day than men as a class.

I joke, but there are days it’s true.

Like Ms ML, I have some dope dudes in my life. They interact with me as a human. Not as a potential score. (and vice versa)

I know some disasters that need therapy, and I’ve seen miracles with targeted therapy.

As for dogs in the fire ant nest, well, they tend to bite, too, in my experience.

I try to find decent men to be in my circle. Some need ejection.

I am planning to propose to my guy this summer and make him an honest man under the chuppah since we are shacking up.
He came with some dude friends, and I’ve welcomed them myself.
He has met some of my dude friends. (And the women, too)


On the flip side, I have had to fire clients who sexualized me or my work. I have gotten those seeking sex calls. I don’t hide how salty I get over how women in healthcare are treated. Nothing boils my blood like sexy nurse/doctor costumes at Halloween.
Hypocritically, I know my guy has a taste for the sexy librarian look. And since I’m blind without glasses, and pin my hair up to protect the ends, I automatically fall in this look.


So, it seems HUMANS (especially straight ones) need to move beyond this men are one camp, women another mentality.
I see it rising and sinking among my queer friends. But it’s solid islands, separate continents, in the straight appearing world.

Will the rise of trans folk help? As we will have men and women who were socialized as the opposing gender? Over generations, I hope so.

 

[ChanelleNo5]

@Scarletbegonia I was so ready to be mad in the beginning but my god you write well. I love you and what you wrote.

 

[Number 9]

There are just sometimes when I hit a brick wall when it comes to the emotionally stunted comments I read here and a great deal of what I hear guys in person. I’m hopeful but I wouldn’t say I’m completely naïve when it comes to believing women tend to hold theirselves a higher standard. I understand everyone has the potential to say some pretty stupid shit. Maybe they even believe the things they say.

not could be that I just need to hope there is a something better on the other side of the fence so I can prop myself up until I leave the workforce and hold up in my clay studio with my headphones filtering out the bullshit.

The good experiences you all have shared gives me hope and like I say sometimes I just hit rock bottom and that’s when I tend to vent. For the most part I’ve been very fortunate in that my life has been filled with some great women and very few that have been tortuously cruel.

maybe someday I’ll manage to better manage my angst a wait to relax a bit before I speak.

ok, maybe I’m blowing smoke up my own ass here but, meh, we’ll see.
Thanks

 

[Scarletbegonia]

@Scarletbegonia I was so ready to be mad in the beginning but my god you write well. I love you and what you wrote.

Awwwww. grazie

 

[Scarletbegonia]

There are just sometimes when I hit a brick wall when it comes to the emotionally stunted comments I read here and a great deal of what I hear guys in person. I’m hopeful but I wouldn’t say I’m completely naïve when it comes to believing women tend to hold theirselves a higher standard. I understand everyone has the potential to say some pretty stupid shit. Maybe they even believe the things they say.

not could be that I just need to hope there is a something better on the other side of the fence so I can prop myself up until I leave the workforce and hold up in my clay studio with my headphones filtering out the bullshit.

The good experiences you all have shared gives me hope and like I say sometimes I just hit rock bottom and that’s when I tend to vent. For the most part I’ve been very fortunate in that my life has been filled with some great women and very few that have been tortuously cruel.

maybe someday I’ll manage to better manage my angst a wait to relax a bit before I speak.

ok, maybe I’m blowing smoke up my own ass here but, meh, we’ll see.
Thanks

I’m really to the point that aside from a tiny circle of dudes here, men online should be avoided at all costs. Let their so called introversion (fear of women), or “too busy to talk to people in the wild,” or whatever keep them from me and mine.

 

[Number 9]

There are just sometimes when I hit a brick wall when it comes to the emotionally stunted comments I read here and a great deal of what I hear guys in person. I’m hopeful but I wouldn’t say I’m completely naïve when it comes to believing women tend to hold theirselves a higher standard. I understand everyone has the potential to say some pretty stupid shit. Maybe they even believe the things they say.

not could be that I just need to hope there is a something better on the other side of the fence so I can prop myself up until I leave the workforce and hold up in my clay studio with my headphones filtering out the bullshit.

The good experiences you all have shared gives me hope and like I say sometimes I just hit rock bottom and that’s when I tend to vent. For the most part I’ve been very fortunate in that my life has been filled with some great women and very few that have been tortuously cruel.

maybe someday I’ll manage to better manage my angst a wait to relax a bit before I speak.

ok, maybe I’m blowing smoke up my own ass here but, meh, we’ll see.
Thanks

No idea what happed to that second paragraph. I typically do this at work and the building my office is in is your basic iron dome black hole soooo…who knows.

 

[Number 9]

I’m really to the point that aside from a tiny circle of dudes here, men online should be avoided at all costs. Let their so called introversion (fear of women), or “too busy to talk to people in the wild,” or whatever keep them from me and mine.

No doubt, your gut reaction is always the wise response. I try to overlook most stuff online and at work I just close my door to eliminate the bs overflow. I do find some of the best people are those in the studio. They’re smart, creative, all pretty decent.