College crush

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Ernie_Eatsit, Nov 1, 2011.

  1. D_Ernie_Eatsit

    D_Ernie_Eatsit New Member

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    SO im a 21 year old college student. Im bi and even though im completely fine with that i havent really told many people (not that im embarassed i just dont like that people tend to automatically make that your defining characteristic once they mnow something like that about u). Anyway me and my best friend (hes straight) took a chem class together and ended up meeting this guy (name deleted.) The three of us became friends pretty quickly, especially (name deleted) and i. In fact, i think i like him as more than just a friend.. Hes a great guy, funny, smart, on of those people you just click with. We have a lot of similar interests and the days that i get to hang with him at school are best days of my week. I get a feeling that he might b bi (a couple mannerisms and idk a gut feeling i guess) unfortunately he has a gf (over a year now apparently) and although he complains about her a lot i know he cares about her a lot and they are sexually active. I wouldnt ever try anything with him if hes not single but idk what to do, i havent had feelings this strong for someone for years now... I wish i could at least know if there is even a slight possibility that i have a chance with him ever even in the distant future
     
    #1 D_Ernie_Eatsit, Nov 1, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2012
  2. D_Ernie_Eatsit

    D_Ernie_Eatsit New Member

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    I cant say i love him since ive only known him for like 2 months... But the feelings are unbelievably strong...
     
  3. Smaccoms

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    This is what voyeurism was invented for! It's creepy, but we're 20 and we have insatiable sexual appetites which could cause havoc if unsatisfied for long periods of time (trust me, I know). I'd jerk off while thinking about him a lot and simply see where the friendship goes. Don't be afraid to ask him questions about his romantic life and such, as long as you keep it casual and avoid asking about new dating prospects. Use this time to get to know him and to let him get to know you. If you still need sex that badly, join a dating site and find the local dating scene. This is what it's for. Just don't take advantage and be a cool guy. I'm sure he wants you to. Just remember, if you can't stand how much you want him, there's a chance he wants you even more. Oh to be stealing girl's boyfriends for yourself! What an adventure!
     
  4. Smaccoms

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    haha your 21 and I'm 22. How much about love could we really know? Until you now what feeling he reciprocates and how much, it's just an intense crush.
     
  5. bryan257

    bryan257 Well-Known Member

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    why dont u just have a few beers with him and then at some point tell him your bi. Not come onto him. just share and see where it leads. if he is interested he may get his own ideas and maybe he'll take the initiative. do it like truth or dare, ask him to share a secret abt himself.
     
  6. hung

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    Bryan 257 has the approach that I would use. Try it, you may be surprised with the results. In summary, nothing ventured, nothing gained. If he does not respond as you may like, still appreciate the situation and continue to be a friend. This is what exploring the Social Setting is all about. Some will, some will not.
     
  7. D_Ernie_Eatsit

    D_Ernie_Eatsit New Member

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    Thats actually not a bad idea, i know that at the very least hes not homophobic cuz hes mentioned having gay friends Ugh this is so frustrating, im not the kind of person that falls for ppl normally and yet i cant stop thinking about this kid
     
  8. Smaccoms

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    that sounds like a good idea to me too. It's always good to let them come to you; it gives them a sense of adventure, as if they're trying to track YOU down and reel YOU in (when it's really the other way around)!
     
  9. Unnamed

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    Tell him you're a bi. Then see what happens. You two shouldn't do anything if/until he is out of his relationship.
     
  10. bryan257

    bryan257 Well-Known Member

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    I'm curious how this will work out for you. please update the thread with anything new. and what would your next response be after you tell him you're bi, and he says to you.... "so am I". Be prepared, don't let your jaw hit the ground, crack a joke or a quick come back. Like, "cool, nice to know you like dick too, another thing we have in common."
     
  11. Smaccoms

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    Note * I have been told, and I firmly believe this, flirting is something that happens in the moment. If you plan every line ahead of time, it's not going to work. Think of note cards; have general prepared topics or guidelines, bu go with the flow of conversation. It's a tricky concept, but lots of fun once you get it goin' a bit. Look up the video "How to Flirt" by Howcast (on youtube). Very informative and helpful.
     
  12. Smaccoms

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    I do agree with not letting your jaw hit the floor. You need to respond right away with some line though. I think "relating" to him about it would be cool; empathy almost. Bisexuality is still a tough subject for many people these days...
     
  13. D_Ernie_Eatsit

    D_Ernie_Eatsit New Member

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    I wanted to possibly tell him that im bi today, but when we met up between classes we ended up playing a childrens card game (yeah.. .idk haha) but it was fun and i ended up getting distracted and completely forgot -_-. He did however invite me to hang out with his twin brother and some of his friends someday soon... so im really excited about that because we only hung out on campus so far (although i doubt that telling him im bi would b a good idea when im with his friends and brother..... lol) tbh im really scared to tell him... i know he probably woudnt react negatively (like i said he mentioned having several gay friends) but idk

    ive been trying to guess how he feels about me but its proving to be really hard.. we talk about girls a lot like straight guys do, but when i told him that theres this girl on campus thats been stalking me (long story) it seemed to bother him a lot more than it should have... and idk if i should take that as a good sign, like if hes jealous or something, or if im just over thinking things.
     
  14. bryan257

    bryan257 Well-Known Member

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    can I ask a question? I know some people are not "touchy" people. but... I feel very comfortable and it is nice to be touched by someone who you are close to, and familar with. I'm not talking in a sexual way. If you are that good of friends with him, add a touch. say that if you are standing side-by-side, or maybe your chest facing his left shoulder or his right shoulder, can you place your one hand on the top edge of his shoulder as you stand there talking..... or.... if it is ok, and you two are familiar enough that you can stand closer in to his body space, what about placing your hand in the center of his back, or just a little lower than center. Not on his ass of course, I'm just saying touch. Sometimes when someone touches me, or as they're talking to me, they place their hand in the center of my back, it gives me tingles. Touch can be a very effective thing. Consider adding some friendly touch as you talk with him. From the right person, whether a friend, or someone more than a friend, touch is a very nice and natural thing. Consider adding some friendly touch as you talk to him. and wouldn't you find it nice if he touched you back as he were talking to you? or... maybe when you're out and about and some attractive girl walks by, seize the opportunity and motion for him to move in so you can whisper in his ear. Whisper something like... isn't she hot, something stupid... just so you can whisper in his ear or touch his back or shoulder as you are whispering about the girl who just walked by. I have found that even straight guys who are your friend, in a bar situation when you're out and about, you can get away whispering to your friend and I've even had my lips on a friends ear as I whispered, or stood behind him and pulled him into me as I was whispering, and in a bar or crowded place, that's fun to do.
     
  15. draw22

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    love this post!
     
  16. D_Ernie_Eatsit

    D_Ernie_Eatsit New Member

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    Haha haha im already touchy with him, like i usually pat him on the back or shoulder when im leaving or if he says something stupid (i dont do the hand on back thing you mentioned, idk if i could do that in a way that feels natural) he isnt really all that touchy but he doesnt seem to mind when i do it at all
     
  17. ruggero

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    just don't miss an opportunity, I've been reliving lost moments and your situation sounds like one of them, in my case he knew I was infatuated with him and asked if I'd give him a blow job (!) I was too closeted and embarassed and said " That depends on the situation..." missed my chance Istill regret it and that's 30 years ago !
    good luck
     
  18. Countryguy63

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    Any further updates?
     
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