If College-Themed XXX Were Real Situation One: The Naughty Student Cindi, an attractive student with a large rack, walks up to the desk of her professor. XXX: Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this grade? Professor: Some students do extra credit work. Cindi: (has sex with him) Reality: Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this grade? Professor: Some students do extra credit work. Cindi: Like what? Professor: A seven-to ten-page report about the economic principles behind trade rules in a Micronesian country of your choosing. Cindi: Oh. That makes sense and is an appropriate extra credit assignment for the course. Situation Two: The Hot Teacher Paul, a student in his late twenties, walks up to the desk of his teacher, Professor Mandy, who has enormous breasts. XXX: Paul: You wanted to see me after class, professor? Professor Mandy: Yes. I need to test your performance. Paul: How? Professor Mandy: (fellates Paul) Reality: Paul: You wanted to see me after class, professor? Professor Mandy: Yes. I need to test your performance. Paul: How? Professor Mandy: A series of tests based on the material covered in this course. Paul: Could I just have sex with you instead? Professor Mandy: (sues Paul) Situation Three: The Sorority Between two and a half-dozen attractive coeds sit on a large bed, in nighties which barely contain their ample bosoms. XXX: Head Sorority Girl: Let's have a naked pillowfight! Assistant Head Sorority Girl: And practice kissing! Sorority Girls: (begin doing those things) Reality: I kind of assume this is what actually happens in sororities. Situation Four: The Curious Freshman A very attractive freshman girl named Candi sits on a bed with her boyfriend, Brett. Did I mention that Candi has boobs the size of overripe grapefruit? She does. XXX: Brett: Let's try anal sex. Candi: Okay. Reality: Brett: Let's try anal sex. Candi: No. Situation Five: The Janitor A strangely-muscular janitor knocks on the door of Bambi, a girl whose low-cut shirt reveals a veritable explosion of cleavage. XXX: Janitor: Do those pipes need cleaning? Bambi: (apparently this is all the pillow talk she needs to have all kinds of sex with him) Reality: Janitor: Perhaps I should have stayed in school. Bambi: I can see how you could be disappointed with your station in life.