College Roommate situation

[2265]

I will have the same roommate in the fall that I did my freshman year last year. My "problem"/question is that this guy is very modest. I've never even seen the kid without a shirt on. He sleeps in his clothes and he must get changed in the shower stall or something.

My question to you is this: Am I obligated to show the same level of modesty? I figure if he doesn't want me to see him, he might be grossed out if I were to walk around naked or something.

I'm not willing to take it to the extreme that he has, but I did start sleeping in boxers instead of in the nude, and when he is in the room I take off/put on my underwear under my towel, which is really a pain in the ass.

Is this necessary? If he doesn't want me to see him does that mean that he'd be offended by my total lack of modesty?

What do you guys think?

 

[taven]

Personally I could't stand sleeping in any kind of clothing for anyone's sake. Also I would suggest normal dressing/undressing patterns for yourself. My first guess is thatyour roomie may be afraid of popping a boner. Of course there are other possibilities, but if he's offended by occasional views of you unclothed, he can find a new room mate.

 

[Pecker]

Congratulations on your attempts at making your roommate feel comfortable in your presence. You get an attaboy.

Now it's his turn to let you be comfortable.

When you return to school this fall, make yourself at home and live at your comfort level. If this means dropping your drawers before going in for a shower or sleeping nude, so be it. If it means wandering around in your boxers - or even nude - let it happen. He'll just have to get used to it.

If he puts has hands to his face a la McCauley Culkin and runs screaming from the room the first time he sees your weenie... so what? The guy has some problems. They aren't yours. If he threatens to go to the RA and ask to be moved, let him.

More than likely, though, you'll find that he'll make no comment at all.

 

[tillyrox]

I agree with Taven, you just go about your normal rutine and if he has a problem with it he will either talk to you about it or he will find himself another place to stay, i mean, its not your problem so you should just be who you are. Or maybe talk to him if you want and see what is the problem, but yeah, just, beee yourself

Luv Ya
Tilly

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

Hey, it's your room too. If something as simple as not being comfortable with each other's view of what is and is not appropriate is going to make either of you uncomfortable, it might be best to find another roommate. There's someone out there whose modesty level is compatible with yours.

 

[jonb]

Basically, it's your room too. You're comfortable with him, he should give you the same level of courtesy.

 

[Irish]

Compromise. I don't really have any problems seeing any of my male friends nude, but it's not exactly something I want. Some guys just don't want to look over and see another dude's junk/butt/whatever. Honestly, I don't see any reason to have no underwear on in the room, but that's your call I guess. Just talk to him about it. If he says, "I'd like you to keep some underwear on," it's not like he's asking a whole hell of a lot. Even if you drop your towel to put on new boxers and pants that's probably not a huge deal, just don't be chillin' naked all day.

 

[2265]

Thanks a lot for all your replies. It's not like I'm a tremendous exhibitionist or anything, I've just never seen any reason to go out of my way to cover myself up.

It's hard to find a roommate who's clean and doesn't smell, and also will agree not to be hiding any booze in the room. I'm an education major, and it's not worth the risk of being caught to me. I'd be totally screwed.

 

[PinkSteel]

Originally posted by bignfloppy@Jul 26 2005, 07:30 PM
Thanks a lot for all your replies. It's not like I'm a tremendous exhibitionist or anything, I've just never seen any reason to go out of my way to cover myself up.

It's hard to find a roommate who's clean and doesn't smell, and also will agree not to be hiding any booze in the room. I'm an education major, and it's not worth the risk of being caught to me. I'd be totally screwed.

[post=331956]Quoted post[/post]​

everyone is a bit different. I lived with 3 others when I went to college. One of the guys started it and walked from the shower to his bedroom nude. I was next and before the year was over we all did it. (one guy was more modest than all of us, but finally succumed) We sat around Sunday mornings in the livingroom all nude a few times watching sports and scratching nuts. A few towel snaps and a couple boners was as intimate as it got, but memories stay forever. 3 of us still see each other a few times a year.
(Make good friends in your 20's, you might be stuck with them the rest of your life)

 

[Pye]

Why place his comfort level above yours?

That's the question you have to answer for yourself.

 

[collegeguy711]

This is just me personally here, but I was alot like ur roommate. When I was in college, id did the whole putting on my underware under the towel and everything, and throwing on my towel before I left the shower. When I was in gym class in high school sometimes I would wear undies under my boxers. I've always just been really shy. And for whatever reason my family just never did change in front of each other. We never really talked about it or had a reason, we just didn't do it.

Also on top of that, and I want to say that I'm not speaking for all the gay guys here, ( we're all different) and I'm not accusing your roommate or anything, but being gay and chaging in front of other guys is kinda weird. For me it kinda feels like what it might feel like for a staight man to be changing in front of a room full of girls. I was kinda worried about getting a boner (and sometimes did, it doesn't take much in high school or college). If guys are half naked in front of me, I'm gonna wanna look, but at the same time I'm afaid they'll catch me looking at them. And like I said, it felt kinda like what it might feel for a st8 guy to be changing in front of women. Even though I know a guys staight, it feels kinda weird being naked in front of them and them seeing me naked. I don't know if any body has felt this way. B)

Any way, I don't know if it's being more comfortable with myself or my body, or being older (if 23 is older) or what, but I've gotten more comfortable with it over the past few years. Anyway, just to give u some ideas. But even in my shyest stage I don't think it would have bothered me much to have other people do it, like u said not exobitionist or anything, but in the relm of what most people would consider normal, would be fine, as long as u didn't try and pull the towel off of me,

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by Irish@Jul 26 2005, 10:03 PM
Compromise. I don't really have any problems seeing any of my male friends nude, but it's not exactly something I want. Some guys just don't want to look over and see another dude's junk/butt/whatever. Honestly, I don't see any reason to have no underwear on in the room, but that's your call I guess. Just talk to him about it. If he says, "I'd like you to keep some underwear on," it's not like he's asking a whole hell of a lot. Even if you drop your towel to put on new boxers and pants that's probably not a huge deal, just don't be chillin' naked all day.

[post=331946]Quoted post[/post]​

Totally agree with Irish here...Compromise - I really don't want to see my roommate naked all the time...It would make me uncomfortable somewhat...But don't see a problem or sure he would have a problem if you walked around in your boxer...And dropping the towel and throwing on your draws should not be problem...We had communal showers that were down the hall from our room and very rarely did someone walk out of the shower without a towel wrapped around their waist...It is just simple courtesy...

 

[Pappy]

The two of you need to sit down and have a discussion about this and come to a livable compromise. He might be overly modest in fear of offending you.

 

[Mr._dB]

Just turn your back when you're taking off or putting on your pants. If you have your clothes spread out on your bed, just facing the bed will take care of that. Be comfortable, but don't make a show about it.

 

[Rikter8]

Originally posted by Pye@Jul 26 2005, 10:39 PM
Why place his comfort level above yours?

That's the question you have to answer for yourself.

[post=331972]Quoted post[/post]​

He's trying to be courteous, and not raise a stink.

 

[chimes]

I think - like most of the other posters - that you should compromise. Don't be an ass and make him adjust to you, but reach a middle ground.

 

[Pye]

Originally posted by Rikter8+Jul 27 2005, 06:04 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Rikter8 &#064; Jul 27 2005, 06:04 AM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-Pye@Jul 26 2005, 10:39 PM
Why place his comfort level above yours?

That&#39;s the question you have to answer for yourself.

[post=331972]Quoted post[/post]​

He&#39;s trying to be courteous, and not raise a stink.

[post=332044]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]


His roommate seems to have an issue about modesty-- this may be the way he was raised. I don&#39;t think it would be raising a stink if he were to go about his normal routine and maybe the roommate would lossen up some. I&#39;m not suggesting that he flaunt nudity or run around the room naked-- but he should be comfortable in his own room.

 

[smallman]

Nah, my roomate last year never took a shirt off, but I was naked constantly. Of course I hated the kid and knew it pissed him off, so that may not be what you&#39;re going for.

 

[Altairion]

I&#39;ve been a pretty conservative guy myself. I&#39;ll have my shirt off, but mainly after a shower and thats about it. I have my own bedroom so I change in there now, but when I was in a single room with a roommate we just wore boxers underneath our towels when we showered. It was just an unspoken thing. If he would have gone naked, it wouldn&#39;t have bothered me. I might have been a bit surprised initially, but its just something that I&#39;d take 5 seconds to get over and life would move on.

Just goin along with everyone else here, feel free to be naked, but don&#39;t flaunt it. Start there and if you want to have your own naked time, make sure he&#39;s ok with it first.

Also, some people sleep in clothes just because its more comfortable. I normally wear shorts and a t-shirt to bed. I vary sometimes from nothing to just shorts to all of the above depending on my mood, but I&#39;m also someone that prefers to be warmer when I&#39;m sleeping so the extra clothes are just there to keep the cooler air off of me. Might be the same for him, or it could be that he&#39;s just not comfortable. You&#39;ll never know until you ask.

 

[D_Roderick Beresford Stiffington IV]

Originally posted by bignfloppy@Jul 26 2005, 05:08 PM
I will have the same roommate in the fall that I did my freshman year last year. My "problem"/question is that this guy is very modest. I&#39;ve never even seen the kid without a shirt on. He sleeps in his clothes and he must get changed in the shower stall or something.

My question to you is this: Am I obligated to show the same level of modesty? I figure if he doesn&#39;t want me to see him, he might be grossed out if I were to walk around naked or something.

I&#39;m not willing to take it to the extreme that he has, but I did start sleeping in boxers instead of in the nude, and when he is in the room I take off/put on my underwear under my towel, which is really a pain in the ass.

Is this necessary? If he doesn&#39;t want me to see him does that mean that he&#39;d be offended by my total lack of modesty?

What do you guys think?

[post=331875]Quoted post[/post]​

I&#39;m a lot like your roommate, for no particular reason...I just grew up acting like that. I don&#39;t mind, I actually enjoy when people show a little skin....kinda hot =P. If he acts strange around you when skin is showing then he has issues with it, otherwise just be comfortable.