College Roommates

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Imported, Jan 17, 2003.

  1. Imported

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    blackone: In the fall, I will be moving into a dorm with my longtime best friend.  We are like brothers, though we have never seen each other totally nude.  I am an only child so I have never had to share a room with anyone else.  When I go out with my friends, we are always at our best , but I understand that when you're living with someone one 24/7, you see the good, bad, and the ugly.    

    The dorm room that we will be staying in has a glass door on the shower so you can see the person inside.   It is also a suite so he might have to change in the room sometimes.  Though I plan to excercise courtesy while he is in the room, I kinda feel like it is just a matter of time before somebody's dick pops out of a towel or some other spontaneous instances of nudity occurs.    

    I have wondered before whether or not he is packing more than me, but I don't think I would ever come out and ask.  I've seen him in boxers and nothing hangs down so I don't think he is bigger than me.  My friend is also a tad bit homophobic (I'm straight) so I don't know how to react if either of us saw each other.   I don't want him to think I am gay for looking.  For those of you that have lived in dorms with other guys, tell about your experiences and give me advice on how to handle living with this guy.  Was/is nudity a common thing among male roommates? What was/is the attitude towards nudity/masturbation in your room? Also tell what kind of dorm setup you live/ or have lived in.
     
  2. Imported

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    averagerican: How you doin Blackone! I have never lived in a college dorm, however I did live with a best friend of mine when his marrige broke up. At that time I was living in a one bedroom apt so it was similar to your sitution. We were and still are like brothers but it wasn't easy. I suggest you both sit down and discuss these issues which will be very important. You mentioned that when you live with someone 24/7 you see the good, the bad, and the ugly. Let me tell buddy that is very true. I don't want to alarm you but you will be having arguements over the most stupidist bullshit you can imagine and, if you have never spent anytime with your best friend before, like gone on vacation or slept over each others house, it might be ruff going for a while. For example, do you or him snore? Do you or him like to listen to loud music while studying? What's going to happen when you meet a nice girl and you want to have sex????? There will be things that will drive either one of you crazy. Most important will be that bathroom situation. You going to have to figure out something because if he is a tad homophobic and you said you never seen each other totally naked, well....you might have to cover up that glass door.

    I can go on and on, but just discuss all those issues you mentioned above with him beforehand because the last thing you ever want to happen is to have a strained relationship or worse yet loose a life long friend over this.
    I'm sure our fellow members on this board will have many more comments on this, so jump in guys.

    I hope it works out very well and I wish you the best of luck in your studies.
     
  3. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    A word of waning: Few things kill a friendship faster or deader than becoming roommates.
     
  4. Imported

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    dhq412: blackone, here are my observations having spent a whopping 1 semester at college so far:

    the entire first semester that I was in college, my roommate and I didnt see each other naked...it honestly wouldnt have mattered to me(or I think my room mate) but it just never happened... the most naked i have been in front of my room mate is my boxers, but I honestly dont care if he sees me in them either, because they are just like wearing shorts:) you said that youve seen him in boxers but "nothing hangs down" I'm not sure what that means - do you mean that yours hangs below the bottom of your boxers(im not sure what is the norm in the large-penis world, mine is pretty small)

    our dorm setup is just a small place with two beds, two desks, two closets, and two armoirs(im not sure proper word for it, I begin to speak in my native tongue when Im tired and cant think :)) the bathroom was a communal one for our floor just down the hall way. maybe the reason we never saw each other naked was because the bathroom was so close, and it was very easy to just step out the door, walk 20 feet, and get changed in there...

    but, I think this issue is the least of your worries - like double meat whopper said, being room mates can really kill a friendly relationship...the best advice i could give you on this situation is to just go with the flow...dont be arguementative, because staying friendly is better than having a fight with him, then being uncomfortable for the rest of the year w/ a person who hates you
     
  5. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    [quote author=DoubleMeatWhopper link=board=relationships;num=1042837666;start=0#2 date=01/17/03 at 19:40:19]A word of waning: Few things kill a friendship faster or deader than becoming roommates.[/quote]

    C'mon, DMW, let's not hastily turn toward a pessimistic response.

    I know better than anybody that friendships are easily tested when you have to live with them.  Personal experience proven, I had a girl with whom I had a nice friendship, and when put to the living-together test, found all sorts of incompatibilities.  As of current, we live together peacefully but I do my best to keep to myself; I have "enough space" to do that.  You, on the other hand, have the cramped setting of a college dorm, and if situations arise, you have no other escape than to discuss things.  No running away.

    I'm with Rican.  If situations pop up, it's not going to do you any good to ignore them or to let them glide by.  An important part to a healthy living situation is to talk things out.  For instance, if you stride into the room having just got out of the shower and you're about to change, if he's in there, ask him if he cares that you change.  As straight as you proclaim him to be, I don't think he'll care; he won't pay you any attention.  And for the other stuff:  sex, sharing groceries, etc.  Work out a system.  Just sit 'im down, break out a couple of beers, and settle everything now so that you can have a good time for the rest of the semester.

    You don't have anything to worry about.  Even if the situation goes for the worse, it's not too hard to find someone else you get along well enough with to move in together.
     
  6. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    My experiences...

    Hard to comment here, since I went three years at university in a private room. For the first year, my roommate and I weren't personally compatible, and he had his own friends and I had mine, no big deal about lots of stuff.

    Current roomate (with whom I share a bedroom in my apartment):

    --NUDITY: Easy. He has a dick. So do I. It's rare that we're both dressing and undressing and showering at the same time during the day, but since he's seen one before, it won't unnerve him to see mine. Besides, I'm naked only as long enough as it takes to find a clean pair of underwear.

    --MASTURBATION: Closed and locked door equals "I'm busy, come back later." If it's a particularly horny day, I know I can tell my roommate that I need to... ahem... you know... and he'll just take off somewhere for a short while and return. Since you've got a suite, I'm sure you could duck in the bathroom real fast and pound one off...
     
  7. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    I live in a dorm? Well, that's news to me. :eek:
    I'm not saying that no friendship can survive 'roommateship' ... we can all hope for the best. But don't be surprised if ... well, you know. Excrement eventuates. :-[
     
  8. jay_too

    jay_too New Member

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    blackone..

    relax...i lived in dorms on both coasts. dorm life promotes tolerance...or at least at large universities. let me assure you at some point your roomate is gonna walk in on you whacking it (and you, him). yeah, it is embarrassing for a minute...until he leaves and you can get back to business. no big deal after the first time.

    about woodies...i had a roomie that never got outta bed without a piss hard [even after a nap in the afternoon]...was he embarrassed? "nope." if he ws only half erect, it was appropriate to mention, "i see you are not up to your usual high standards."

    about size...well you are going to find that there are always guyz bigger and smaller...so no big deal. competition in college is on hangin', sports, grades, and humor. i don't think i ever chose a friend on dick size or because she wore a DD cup...tho' the latter might have influenced my evaluation of other qualities.
    ;D

    in my dorms were chicks, jocks or wannabees, nerds, scholars, party guyz, and gays....everyone got along because it was kewl to. and we learned from each other....and by the end of the semester we were partying together.

    so you pop a boner...what is everyone gonna think? "there but for the grace of god, go i."

    my first two roomates and i started off on a bad foot...the first was definitely nerd material, and i am a big guy (6'3" and 185) and a jock wannabee. we ignored each other for about a month...easy because we took different classes or sections and did not see each other. one night we saw that the other was working on a problem on the computer...started talking...and we became close friends. the second was a swim competitior in hs...we both enjoyed getting under the other's skin during a meet to throw the other off. we both made the swim team and moved to athletic dorms as roomates. ugh!! he is closest college friend that i have. still keep in touch and party when we are "home."
     
  9. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    My first college roomie and I hit it off right away. Turns out we were both taking the same advanced Spanish course. His mother is Filipino and when she'd call to speak to him in her native tongue, she'd insist on talking to me, too. He and I would speak as much Spanish to each other as English.

    Don't worry about being around your roommate so much that you'll be arguing and getting on each other's nerves. It may happen It may never happen. My roomie and I went everywhere together. We even played competitive tennis as a doubles team.

    As for the nudity - it's going to happen. So what? It's not like you've signed some kind of ridiculous contract that forbids it.

    Mainly, blackone, you'll find that with being away from home with adult responsibilities that you'll begin to have adult reactions to your environment. Your fears and concerns are unfounded.

    Pecker
     
  10. Imported

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    unexpected: my freshman room mate and i were cool with eachother, kinda funny how we turned out to have similar personalities.

    i told him i would need the room for sex for a few hours one weekend, he had no problem staying elsewhere to drink.. only thing is he forgot and nearly walked in on us. i was facing the door, so after i heard the combination clicking, i saw the shadows of his feet at the crack under the door.

    luckily she was a real moaner... and he was pretty trashed. he messed up on the combo a few times (again, luckily!) and heard her moaning so he left. i called his cell when we were through apologizing and telling him he could return. i hopped in the shower and he was returning as i got out of the shower.

    still drunk, his eyebrows went up and jaw dropped as he started laughing. shaking his head and still chuckling, he slurred "jesus dude, NOW i know why i heard her moaning so loudly!"

    he's a good kid, transferred south unfortunately, and whenever possible we would 'help eachother out' regarding the women
     
  11. Imported

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    AnonyMs: ..
     
  12. Imported

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    blo-gasm: Well, to give you an idea of the range of people you'll come to meet, I've got two sides of the coin:

    In residence, my roommate was so conscious of his nudity that he dressed in the shower, and took a small-ish cargo container that had absolutely everything in it.. he'd haul it back and forth every morning... boxers might happen, but he would barely ever even be in just boxers.

    My personality on the other hand, I could care less... I would have hung around in my room when I knew nobody would visit, totally naked if it wouldn't have bothered my roommate... but i didn't... though i was in nothing but boxers a lot... i could care less.

    Then, in second year of university, I moved in with some different friends... and we were all the same way... we didn't walk around naked, but three of us shared a bathroom, and in the mornings we'd all be naked and switch spots in the shower while keeping the water running... I'd be brushing my hair/teeth/whatever while one of the guys would be totally naked getting out of the shower, and none of us cared... it's only a dick... it's not like you don't know I have one, that's my opinion...

    And hey, we gave each other stupid nicknames because of it.
     
  13. jonb

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    Well, blo-gasm, someone could've been another Hua Mulan. All of China thought she had a penis for twelve years. LOL The Mongols, though, could guess when she had PMS. LMAO!

    jonb, not at all surprised that YET ANOTHER part of history got loused up by Disney
     
  14. Imported

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    brad2002: Don't worry about anything, man. You are both college guys. you have dicks. You have to change clothes, piss, and shower. In other words, you are going to be naked. Be naked when you need to be naked and be clothed when you need to be clothed. No big deal. No need for a heart-to-heart conversation. Now, I recommend being discreet while masturbating. And make sure you agree on rules for having sex in the room - and stick to them. My roomies and I were naked all the time. Nobody thought or said anything about it.
     
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