Comfortable in your own skin

perthjames

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As a kid, I was always conscious (in Australia) of having light coloured skin (Irish background, mother with red hair). I was also conscious of being overweight. And so when I went swimming as a child, living in country Australia, I was always a bit shy. Also, I wasn't a very good swimmer, though maybe the issues above contributed to it.

These things also made me fairly shy in the school showers. I was always the kid who turned away from the others when getting changed. I won't go into the issues of penis size, for obvious reasons.

In short, I've never felt good about my body.

But in the last few years, as I've hit my late 40s/early 50s, I've FINALLY realised it doesn't matter any more. I've become one of those "old guys at the gym who happily hangs out in the nude". I don't mean hanging out forever, in a pervy kind of way. But I feel comfortable with my own body now, and no longer feel the need to "hide myself". I'm still a bit overweight (though not too much), still have fair skin, and all of the stuff from childhood. But, gosh it feels great to finally reach the point in my life, where I don't care who sees my naked body. If they judge, they judge. If they look, who cares.

It's great to feel good about finally feeling "comfortable in my own skin". When did it happen for you? Early in life, and you've never cared about this stuff? Or did it come later? Or maybe you're still struggliing with this stuff? Please share your story. I'm sure it will help others.
 
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Anton565

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My situation is/was similar to yours, except that completely different body parts were involved. I've a collection of skeletal issues from my ribs to my shoulders. The end result is a pot belly even with a very low BMI, sunken chest, hunchback, and more. I've been teased about it non-stop my whole life and I STILL get negative looks when I'm at a straight, textile beach or pool.

I'm much more comfortable in my skin now, but I'm afraid it's mostly a result of things outside of me changing:
1. I got medical confirmation that my issues are 100% physical and measurable. They are not and never were my "feelings" or "body image". Every single person who told me I was imagining my issues LIED.
2. The older I got the less other people's negative judgements were able to affect me. That made me able to care less and less as the years went on.
3. It sounds crazy and I can't explain it, but the gay world cares a shitload less about my skeletal deformities than the straight world ever did.
4. I met guys who like hanging out nude and am now an avid social nudist. They don't try to tell me my self-evident physical issues are in my head; they just don't care about them.

The changes with me are a result of the above.

It still bothers me that nearly everyone I met as an adult thinks I'm exaggerating the hell I went through in my youth when in fact they got a VERY watered down version of the story. They flat out don't believe that I not once, not ever took my shirt off in my teens or 20's and got a positive response. The problem is that their disbelief does not change the fact that that's exactly what happened.

The only change that is actually from me is that I accept the fact that I'm not a paticipant in my skeletal issues and they cannot be addressed by talking to me.... no matter what anyone else says, thinks, or believes.
 

svrocks

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I can relate to this actually. I care less and less about what people might think as I age and it's a good feeling. I still have my reservation, but it isn't anywhere near the level I was at in my late teens and early 20's.

I'm 31 by the way.
 

rayray

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I've never really had much of a problem with body image with myself or others . For me I was fortunate to been passed some good genes and to be fairly athletic growing up . I realized from a very early age that people come in all shapes, sizes and colors .
 
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Anton565

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I've never really had much of a problem with body image with myself or others .

I think this is am important point. *I* did not construct my body image. I was informed very up-front by others that my body was unacceptable. I did not write the word "ugly" on a label and I did not stick that label onto my body. To this day phrases like "self image" really irk me because they imply that I was a participant and that's simply not reality.

To make matters worse, I was hopeless at sports and was always accused of "not trying" and "having an attitude problem". Decades later I found out that I have vision problems making everything involving a ball in the air impossible for me. No amount of 'proper' attitude or effort ever made any difference.

My father to his dying day and my mother STILL insists that both problems are 100% my imagination when doctors have informed me that both are exactly ZERO% my imagination.

No, I'm not angry, not at all...... lol.
 

CuriousAustralian

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I never really felt comfortable in my skin when I was younger. In my 20s I developed a thrill for being naked in front of others. I do this in the locker rooms when showing or changing. While I'm not all the way there I'm definitely partway to being comfortable in my own skin.