Coming out......Any advice

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by jj8inch, Aug 10, 2009.

  1. jj8inch

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    So after a weekend with my friends who happen to be a gay couple I have come to the long drawn out decision that; Yes, I am gay. Now I need to decide how I want to begin the explanation process. I know as far as family goes I'm not telling them until I have a significant other in my life so I dont have to worry to much about that but now as I think about it that may be harder since I'm from a small town. But now I'm rambling so I will just say any thoughts on how to go about the coming out process? or any personal antidotes about your experience?
     
  2. tickle123

    tickle123 New Member

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    Hii, I'm 18 and telling my mum was the best thing i've done. But the chances are, your family already have an idea. my mum used to ask me and i used to deny, but by her asking me it shows she already had suspicions. I told my mum over MSN (yah my mum has msn cringee!) but i just told her. I just came out and said it, and she was so understanding. I would advise telling one person at a time rather than announcing it. But, good luck :) I know how hard it can be lol x
     
  3. nudeyorker

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    My advice, is just live your life and be yourself, and it's not such a dramatic ordeal.( You don't really have to sit down and have that dramatic discussion unless you choose to)Straight people do not have to sit their family and friends down to talk about their choices. You don't have to either until you are comfortable with it. You will encounter friends and family who will accept you, or not, but no matter what...Don't ever apologize. You will find your way, and your friends and family will find theirs. A good sense of humor helps once you have found that "significant other" Good Luck!
     
    #3 nudeyorker, Aug 10, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2009
  4. 8060

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    jj, I'm glad that you finally got to the place where you've accepted that part of yourself. My advice to you is to love yourself unconditionally and know that you're a good person and don't take any crap from anyone for being you. Try to treat your coming out phase as light as possible. The more you think about it, the heavier it tends to get...and it's not that serious (that's just me being nonchalant).

    End note: Love thyself. It will get you through almost anything.
     
  5. sexplease

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    [FONT=Courier,sans-serif][FONT=sans-serif,Helvetia,Arial]To Thine Own Self Be True[/FONT]

    [FONT=Courier,sans-serif]

    Yet here, Laertes! Aboard, aboard for shame!
    The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,
    And you are stay'd for.
    There ... my blessing with thee!
    And these few precepts in thy memory
    Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
    Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.
    Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
    Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
    Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
    But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
    Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg’d comrade. Beware
    Of entrance to a quarrel but, being in,
    Bear't that th' opposed may beware of thee.
    Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
    Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgement.
    Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
    But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
    For the apparel oft proclaims the man;
    And they in France of the best rank and station
    Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
    Neither a borrower, nor a lender be;
    For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
    And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
    This above all: to thine own self be true,
    And it must follow, as the night the day,
    Thou canst not then be false to any man.
    Farewell; my blessing season this in thee!

    -- William Shakespeare


    when You be You, you win as do many others for your uniqueness.
    Some may not care for You
    but the ones who matter don't mind
    and the ones who mind don't matter.

    [/FONT][/FONT]
     
  6. stonefish150

    stonefish150 New Member

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    I would say it's probably a good idea to tell your gay friends first, if you feel comfortable doing so, as they're virtually guaranteed to be understanding about it all. I personally came out in a rather odd order; I started out by 'practicing' on people I didn't know well and wouldn't have to meet again if it went badly and then I told my parents. Because that didn't go great it then took another year for me to build up the courage to tell all my friends and come out properly tho. I'm really glad I did tho as the parents have come round eventally, I've gained a lot of new friends and I'm finally free to search for my first boyfriend :D.

    Good luck in however you choose to do it anyway and feel free to PM me if you think I can offer any more help :).
     
  7. Smartalk

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    Well done you A momentus milestone in your life one I am sure you will not regret. As long as your comortable and able to love yourself. Then what does it matter if nobody else knows.

    I am gay was very late accepting my sexuality and would describle meslef as open I don't broadcast the fact but if I'm asked I tell them the truth. simple

    Enjoy your new found feedom
     
  8. Joe7703

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    Congratz on figuring yourself out! It takes other people different lengths to know themselves..or at least a part of themselves...sometimes a whole lifetime!

    As for coming out, there's no rush. Tell a close friend...whatever sexuality they are. They will stick by you...and you will feel like a weight has lifted. It's nice to be able to be yourself without having to be careful what you say, or what you do. When you are comfortable enough and ready tell some more friends, but really only those important to you are worth telling. And then the biggy comes your family. You have the support of your friends behind you which helps.
    Now i wouldn't suggest how i told my mum...which was when she was trying to do loads of things at once and after trying to hint it i just shouted i'm gay at her. Hehe.
    But yeah, just remember no matter what you decide to do, and whoever you turn out to be...your family and friends will always love you and be there for you.

    So for now, Enjoy your life...you're discovering yourself and are finally be able to be who you want to be!
    Good Luck finding that special person you're meant to be with...don't expect him to be waiting outside your door...enjoy the journey, and play safe! And don't feel pressure to be with someone....enjoy being single for a while!

    Hope this helps!
     
  9. jj8inch

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    Thanks everybody for the encouraging words. Today is harder b/c now I want to be with someone before Ive told anyone. Oh life your so much fun.
     
  10. rbkwp

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    Going by your post i would suggest the Gay Couple you mention will give you the BIGGEST HUG ..
    you may have had ..for a while
    i suggest 'just tell them' .. i am sure you will feel Happy & relieved.
    Personally matey
    I never 'officialy came out
    -just as i never 'officialy' intro ed myself on this site.
    its the way it is
    if you feel a real desire / need .. and think it will benefit everyone...
    (yourself especially)
    Then by all means do so..in your own time'
    Then again i am from the Old School
    so .. maybe theirs a difference ..as per Generational..'
    All the BEST'
    enz
    Nice to see the younger folk here ..and there approach'
     
  11. D_T_Frothingill_Bellows

    D_T_Frothingill_Bellows Account Disabled

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    COMING OUT IS STUPID

    IF STRAIGHT PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO MAKE A PRODUCTION AND ANNOUNCE THAT THEY ARE STRAIGHT, WHY IS IT THAT GAY PEOPLE MUST?

    just be you dude, ugh, coming out just pisses me off
     
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