Coming out stories
- Thread starter Edax626
- Start date
I came out to friends first, but almost simultaneously to my mother, by heartfelt letter ...age 22.
I was living in London and she and my sister were about 150 miles away, ...dad had died 5 years before...
That was in 1987.
She tried to be supportive, but was kind of lacking in knowledge / appropriate language. We talked. She had concerns - HIV was peaking etc. But love never faltered, either way ...
At my coming out party, my straight/ sporty best friend sat me on his knee and said it made no diffference - he'd always love me...
It was my 50th birthday last year.
All the key players from that spring of 1987 were there.
28 years of love, and friendship, and support.
I've been so lucky
I am the girl with golden hair
"Thank You For the Music".
I was living in London and she and my sister were about 150 miles away, ...dad had died 5 years before...
That was in 1987.
She tried to be supportive, but was kind of lacking in knowledge / appropriate language. We talked. She had concerns - HIV was peaking etc. But love never faltered, either way ...
At my coming out party, my straight/ sporty best friend sat me on his knee and said it made no diffference - he'd always love me...
It was my 50th birthday last year.
All the key players from that spring of 1987 were there.
28 years of love, and friendship, and support.
I've been so lucky
I am the girl with golden hair
"Thank You For the Music".
I was 21. A friend of mine had become friends with this psycho bitch on some BBS and she decided that he needed to come out. Another friend of mine called me and told me what she had been saying online, and wanted to let me know in case she was coming my way. I told him that it was true, that I am gay, and he said it didn't matter, he just wanted me to know because he didn't agree with what she was doing. I told some other friends, then told my mother as a sort of damage control. Everyone was cool with it and my mother made sure I understood that she loved me no matter what.... and that if that bitch managed to call her, she was going to get her face ripped off.
As for woman that was outing everyone, I encountered her in public a few times afterwards. I made it a point to not acknowledge her presence, even when friends said I was being blatantly rude to her. Interestingly enough, I talked to a mutual friend who I hadn't spoken to in years and I found out she had passed away some years ago.
As for woman that was outing everyone, I encountered her in public a few times afterwards. I made it a point to not acknowledge her presence, even when friends said I was being blatantly rude to her. Interestingly enough, I talked to a mutual friend who I hadn't spoken to in years and I found out she had passed away some years ago.
hypolimnas
Superior Member
I always knew I was gay and have had lots of close male friends all the way through. Being gay isn't unusual in my family. Everyone worked it out for themselves. I wrote a note for my best guy friend at one time, who I thought might not have understood - he watched me write "I'm gay" fold it up and pass it to him. He knew I'd been struggling to tell him something one afternoon. He was really cool, and opened up a bit, we talked about his straightness more than me lol, one of his brothers is gay and it turns out he had thought about his own sexuality - which really helped me, as I was unsure about him. He was and still is (decades later) too pretty and hung to be straight. Terrible waste, but he's happily married to a woman I like and respect.
Titanomachina
Expert Member
Struggled with it for a time and still do. I had an inkling in middle school and knew in high school. Didn't come out until college, but even still despite people being ok with it I wasn't. I didn't fit in at all in the gay community and found no support there. It was clear they were looking for a certain type of gay and didn't really welcome anyone who didn't fit. But I also didn't fit with "normal" people.
I still wish I was born straight or at least bi. It would make life much more manageable. There is honestly no good from being gay, makes life necessarily difficult.
I still wish I was born straight or at least bi. It would make life much more manageable. There is honestly no good from being gay, makes life necessarily difficult.
Titanomachina
Expert Member
I'm sorry if it's been that way for you.
But I think the gay "world" is more diverse than maybe you give it credit for.
There are many ways of life, many styles, interests, things to do, people and places to see, discussions to have, sexual interests, standards of behaviour...
There are sporty gays, corporate gays, arty gays, family gays, disco gays, druggie gays, and so on. And it all overlaps with the straight world in various ways.
I think it can be whatever you need it to be... and it's a journey ...
Please try to think positive warm thoughts.
Be the changes you would like to see...
Titanomachina
Expert Member
I disagree, the apparent differences between the gay groups is just an illusion. I can say that after many interactions with them, they are basically all the same. Pride, or really any gay gathering just reinforces that view.
It's not whatever you need it to be, it's what people want it to be and little else. If you don't fit then too bad. The two worlds couldn't be more different. Except I happen to find straight people easier to be around.
Positive thinking won't change that reality. They are almost as bad as the straight people who don't tolerate gays.
It's not whatever you need it to be, it's what people want it to be and little else. If you don't fit then too bad. The two worlds couldn't be more different. Except I happen to find straight people easier to be around.
Positive thinking won't change that reality. They are almost as bad as the straight people who don't tolerate gays.
I find straight people easy (maybe even easier) to be around too.
But I don't find I have to choose in that way.
Individuals come and go in my life. The important ones hang around, and I make effort with them. And their sexuality doesn't matter for that.
I see no need to make crude generalisations ... ?
But I don't find I have to choose in that way.
Individuals come and go in my life. The important ones hang around, and I make effort with them. And their sexuality doesn't matter for that.
I see no need to make crude generalisations ... ?
This is totally how I feel. Wish I didn't, but it's the reality
i feel seen. Im not as flamboyant as the proud gays you see online and a lot of the people around me expect me to act a certain type of gay.
Moreover, the thought of that expectation deters me from interacting with the gay community.
I also sometimes wish i was straight cuz it would make the social part of life easier. I wouldn't have to worry about men thinking im into them, i wouldnt have spent my youth emasculating my walk/voice, and i wouldnt stay up crying abt how a lot of opportunities are not mine to take because im a homosexual.
Being bi and finally accepting it took alot of time. I feel like i dont fit in either side. Not straight not gay. It sometimes make being married really hard. I had a boyfriend before getting married, but was to young to tell him how i really felt. We both were actually. I struggle quite often with myself. I find myself wishing i had been born either gay, or straight just so i could stand in one lane. I have a great family, but find from time to time i miss him. I hope you can find some way to be comfortable with yourself. Time has a funny way of helping i guess. Best of luck to you. Just know you arent alone. I think a lot of people feel similar
